Chapter 29
Summer
Awareness of my surroundings slowly returns in the morning.
I can hear waves crashing outside as I take a deep breath of salt air.
The sun isn’t shining today, so there might be a storm brewing.
There’s a muscular, tattooed arm around my waist and a leg between mine pressing against me.
My hormones kick in as Nick moves his leg and rubs himself against my butt.
I don’t think he’s awake yet since his breathing is even and deep.
His nose is buried against my neck, and he mumbles something I can’t make out.
Jake’s not a good enough excuse anymore for ignoring how these guys make me feel, and I’m at a loss.
Maybe I should talk to Sarah. Realistically, I know a relationship with Jake can’t happen, but I still feel guilty when I have inappropriate feelings for my friends.
I’m so comfortable with the guys that feelings just developed naturally with no effort.
The problem is, I like all of them except Alex.
Not that I don’t find Alex hot or sweet, but he has Reesa, so I’ve never really looked at him that way.
Neve comes to mind, but how practical is that type of relationship?
It’s more important to have them in my life as friends than anything else.
I’m hesitant to start a relationship because of the risk of losing someone, and I don’t know how to choose between them.
I mean, assuming they’re even interested.
Seb and E are already together, and I’m pretty sure Seb would be interested in more.
I don’t know how Bay feels, and then there’s Nick, the guy who refuses to be in a relationship.
Yup, I definitely need to talk things out with Sarah. It’s time.
Nick shifts behind me, rolling onto his back, so I quietly turn over to face him.
He’s still asleep, and the covers are at the end of the bed, so I can stare at him.
He’s so handsome. I’m examining his arm tattoos when he shifts and his left hand disappears into his shorts.
He grabs himself and starts moving his hand up and down.
I check his face, but I think he’s still asleep.
Oh my. Time for me to leave. I quickly get out of bed and open the door, stepping out into the hall.
E is coming out of his room and smiles at me.
“Morning,” I greet. I’m sure he can see my beet red cheeks, but he doesn’t comment.
“Morning Summer. Seb is still in bed if you want to go in. I can’t sleep any longer,” he says.
“Okay, thanks,” I smile. I open their bedroom door and walk inside.
Despite its smaller size, their room features a king-sized bed and a huge open window offering a breathtaking view of the lush backyard, with the sounds of birds chirping filling the air.
Slipping under the covers, Seb grabs me, pulling me into him.
He cracks an eye open and smiles. “You’re not E. ”
“Nope. He just left, but told me I could come in,” I say.
“You’re all flushed, Sunshine. What’s up?”
“Um, well, Nick slept with me and his hand disappeared into his shorts, so I left.”
Seb chuckles. “I’m sure he was still asleep. He wouldn’t do that and make you uncomfortable if he was awake.”
“I know. I figured I should give him some privacy, though.”
“I’m not sure he would've minded you staying,” he replies.
I look up at him with raised brows.
He shrugs. “You must have noticed how close he’s let you get, Sunshine. He’s never let anyone in before. He still keeps all of us at arm’s length, including me, and I live with the guy. It’s okay to be curious,” he tells me.
Deciding to be brave and share with Seb, I say, “I was actually thinking about relationships this morning.”
“Oh? What about?”
“I’m trying to be realistic about Jake. I’ll always love him and want him in my life, but maybe it’s okay to want more.”
“It is Sunshine and I’m so happy to hear you say that. You know we’re all crazy about you, right?”
“Like friend crazy or more?” I ask in a hushed tone, staring at his chin.
“Well, for me and E, the answer is definitely more. I suspect it’s the same for the rest of the guys.”
“Really?” I ask, hope blooming inside. It quickly dissipates, though, remembering the complication of four guys.
“Yup. I think I fell for you the day I met you in Z’s office, if I’m honest. I could see your pain, but you were still sassy and weren’t bothered by me at all.
E and I have talked a lot about you. As you know, he needs an emotional connection with someone, and he has that with you.
We both want more, but we haven’t said anything because of Jake. ”
“Wow,” is all I can think of to say.
“Are you open to the idea of us being together?”
“What about Bay and Nick?”
“I’ve been talking to Neve and Ezra about the poly lifestyle. E and I always planned on being a threesome at some point, and we’re both open to Bay, Nick, and Alex being added in.”
“Um, not Alex,” I shake my head.
“I don’t think he is planning on being with Reesa after high school,” Seb says gently.
“Still, not him. First, I don’t think of him that way, and second, I don’t like the way he is with his girlfriend.”
“Fair enough,” he says. “What about the rest of us?”
“I don’t know Hurry. I’ve only ever had Jake, and you’re talking about four guys. That’s…a lot.”
“It is, but you could just start with one or two,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
I smile at him. “Your friendship is more important to me than anything, though. I don’t want that to get messed up if we start a romance and it fizzles.”
“I’m 100% certain that’s never gonna happen, but we can take things slow, keep things quiet, and see how you feel?”
“Maybe, but I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves, Hurry. I don’t know how Bay and Nick feel about things.”
“Why don’t you leave those two to me? I’ll feel them out and see where they are regarding you and a poly life. In the meantime, we can make out when we’re alone and test the waters?” He asks.
That is a scary and exciting thought at the same time.
Can I really do this? I still love Jake, but I’ve come to care so much for these guys, too.
I don’t think I can deny my feelings for them much longer.
A conversation with Sarah is still a good idea, too.
Should I try it with Seb? My hormones certainly want to.
I can completely trust him, and if it’s too much, I don’t think our friendship would suffer. “Okay,” I whisper.
Seb slowly leans in, giving me plenty of time to stop him, but I don’t.
I’m still worked up after Nick this morning as he gently brushes his lips against mine in a featherlight kiss.
He comes back with more pressure next time, his lips soft and warm, and I kiss him back.
He gives me a few more gentle pecks before pulling back. “Good?” He asks.
I lean up and kiss him in response. Seb groans and pulls me close, entangling us together.
I forgot how much I enjoyed kissing. I swipe my tongue against his plush bottom lip, and he opens immediately for me.
I feel him harden between us as we continue to explore with our mouths.
Seb is an amazing kisser, switching between soft teasing pecks and exploring my mouth with his tongue.
My heart is humming like butterfly wings in my chest as I rub against him.
He groans again, turning me onto my back and settling between my legs.
He pulls back again, and we’re both breathing hard.
“How are you? Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” He asks.
“Good. Yes. No,” I gasp out.
“Thank fuck,” he murmurs, coming back in for more kisses.
I smile as I kiss him back. Seb takes control, nipping my bottom lip, before alternating the pressure of his lips.
He rubs himself against me, and he’s hitting a spot that makes me see stars, so I start to move with him.
I obviously know what an orgasm is, but I’ve never experienced one before.
Jake and I made out, but we never got past second base.
This feels amazing, and my mind is blissfully empty.
Now that I’m moving with Seb, he starts rubbing against me more vigorously. He breaks our kiss and starts nibbling my neck. “Sunshine, if you want to stop, just tell me and we’ll stop instantly, okay?”
“Yeah,” I reply, “but keep going,” I say, almost panting.
He pulls back to look at me while continuing to roll his hips. “Have you ever done this?” He asks.
I shake my head no as a moan leaves me from deep inside.
Seb smiles and starts kissing me again, increasing his speed.
I can feel something inside me building fast as I chase my first orgasm.
I pull away from the kiss, trying to catch my breath as tingles start to take over my body.
I tuck my face into Seb’s neck as the orgasm washes over me.
I moan again as my body goes tense and relaxed at the same time.
Seb lets out his own moan, then collapses on top of me.
“Shit Sunshine. That was beautiful,” he says.
A euphoric giggle leaves me as he goes up on his elbows. “That was amazing, Hurry. Thank you,” I smile.
“Thank you for letting me be your first. I’ll treasure this memory always,” he says, giving me one more soft kiss before rolling over to lie beside me. “Are you doing okay? Need to talk about stuff?”
“I feel good. I wasn’t expecting that coming in here this morning, but like everything with you, it felt natural. You reminded me how much I enjoy kissing.”
“Oh, really?” He says, rolling onto his side, resting his head in his hand.
“Yeah,” I smile. “Are you okay with keeping things quiet for now? I don’t want you to feel like a dirty secret or anything, but I need time to sort all this out in my brain.”
“Perfectly fine, as long as E knows Sunshine. It’s a complicated situation. Give yourself some time. I’m in no hurry.”