Chapter 28 Grace #2
“I had an amazing game tonight with my amazing girlfriend there cheering me on, and now we get to go party together, which will be—”
“Amazing, I’m guessing?”
Danny stops walking and playfully squeezes my cheeks together with one of his hands. “Hey! Your sarcasm has no home here. It is going to be amazing.” He slides his hand to the back of my neck and presses his lips to mine before gently coaxing my mouth open with his tongue.
For a self-proclaimed “anti-PDA” type of guy, Danny is very pro-PDA with me. I soak up every second, because it’s almost unbelievable that we’re finally together, in a real relationship.
I grin against his lips before leaning back. “I agree, boyfriend. So, what happens at these so-called parties, considering I’ve never been to one before?”
Danny generously rolls his eyes like that’s a lie, even though we both know it’s true.
“I don’t come to them much, but they’re pretty chill. I’ll introduce you to some of my friends on the team, and there’ll be food and drinks. It’s fun.”
He opens the front door and guides me through the foyer area to the open-concept kitchen and living space, where most of the team is hanging out.
The kitchen is Tuscan-style, with warm beige walls covered in painted grapes and wine chalices.
It’s packed in here, wall-to-wall with athletes, cheerleaders, and other people I only recognize from watching Danny’s practices.
There’s no way Kyle’s parents approved of this party.
“It’s loud in here!” I shout over the music, but I don’t think Danny hears me.
A linebacker mans the stereo, blasting a rap song at a volume so loud a glass filled with booze rattles on the side table next to him.
The liquor bottles scattered on top of the counters give me a few small heart palpitations.
I’ve never drunk alcohol before, or, more accurately, I’ve never been presented with the opportunity, I guess.
But I want to be open-minded. I want Danny’s teammates to like me.
Our relationship is solid but also incredibly fragile.
It’s hard to explain. I’m new to parties, new to being a girlfriend, new to all of this.
Danny says that I don’t have to change myself to fit any sort of expectation, but it’s easy to tell other people “don’t change” when you’re the one everybody wants to be.
“Hey, DT! DT is here, everyone! Hell yeah, the party can start!”
Some of the guys cheer, and Danny receives pat after pat on the back. He gets a “good game, dude” from an athlete with huge muscles and dirty blond hair. “You’re the man!” a guy wearing a varsity jacket shouts.
Danny’s popularity is not limited to the male contingent of partygoers. A group of girls dressed in short denim skirts, tank tops lined with lace, and branded jackets saunters our way.
“D, it’s so good to see you! I feel like we haven’t hung out in forever.
” I recognize the girl speaking as one of Tori’s friends—one of the nicer ones.
She’s wearing the top of her cheerleader uniform with a frayed jean skirt.
Her straight brown hair hangs down her back, and her caramel-colored highlights match the shade of her fleece zip-up almost perfectly.
I’m happy to be with Danny, but I can already tell he’ll be pulled in a million different directions all night long.
I wish I’d forced Ben to come to this party with me, but he’d rejected my offer as soon as it came out of my mouth.
He works at our local arboretum and has an early morning shift tomorrow.
“Hey, Alicia. Yeah, I’ve been kind of busy with football…and with my girlfriend. Have you two met?”
“Susannah, right?” she asks, her tone overly bright.
I wince and give her a quick nod. I hate my given name, but it feels too awkward to change it senior year of high school.
“D! You don’t even have a drink in your hand yet. Do you need me to get you something? You’re a beer guy if I remember, right?” she asks, at his beck and call.
Danny rubs the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable by her offer. “Uh, I’ll get myself a drink after we settle in for a sec.”
“If you’re sure,” Alicia hedges.
“Yep. Nice seeing you, we’re just gonna go say hi to some of the guys.”
Danny tugs on my hand and leads me to a guy with reddish-brown curly hair who fist bumps him.
“DT, ‘sup dude?”
“‘Sup, man. This is my girlfriend. Baby, this is Sean, he plays cornerback.”
“Hey, nice to meet you…” His eyes dart to the ceiling as if he’ll magically find my name there.
“Susannah. You too.”
Danny turns to face me. “You want anything? Pop? Gatorade? If you want something stronger to drink, he usually has hard lemonade or something.”
“Just water, I think. Thanks.”
“Cool. I’m going to grab us drinks from the cooler outside before it gets crazier.”
Craning my neck, I try to find the deck. “Oh, where is that?”
“It’s just off the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”
“Sounds good.”
I really don’t want Danny to leave, but I also refuse to be clingy. The last thing he needs is to babysit me. Hell, when he’s in the league, I’ll be by myself all the time. Better get used to it.
“Hey, Susannah?”
I swivel my head and see Kyle, the quarterback, approaching. He’s wearing a long sleeve, striped rugby shirt in Titans colors. Holding a red solo cup in one hand, he uses the other to turn his baseball cap backward.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Danny’s friend?”
“Um, his gir—”
“It’s been really great having chemistry with you,” he interrupts suggestively, “if you know what I mean.”
Is he hitting on me? Does he know I’m with Danny?
“It’s good having class with you, too, but—”
“Maybe we should see if we have chemistry outside of class tonight.” Kyle takes another step toward me.
I instinctively step back, but I’m almost completely backed up against the kitchen island.
“I don’t think Danny would like this,” I blurt out.
Kyle’s face scrunches, confusion flickering across his face. “DT was the one who said he’d put in a good word for me.”
“Danny said what?”
“Don’t worry about a thing, babe. Listen, I’d love to show you my room.” He inches toward me until the cold countertop digs into my back. I start vigorously shaking my head as he leans in. Smelling the alcohol on his breath, nausea coils low in my stomach. It reminds me of my—
Stop stuttering or I’ll give you something to stutter about.
Kyle lifts his free hand and strokes my hair.
Your hair looks like a goddamn mop.
“Hold still, babe.” Kyle’s voice sounds predatory as it crawls into my ears. When his hand creeps down to my neck, I freeze.
Stop right there, you stuttering, stupid shit.
“No,” I protest quietly, curling inward, not wanting to cause a scene. The room feels smaller and smaller as my chest tightens uncomfortably.
He either doesn’t hear me or doesn’t care. I lift my hands to protect my face. Where is Danny?
Kyle reaches for my wrists and starts to pry them from my face. “No!” I say louder, and every head turns toward us, including—oh thank God.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
I’ve never heard Danny use such a dark, low tone of voice as he shoves Kyle away from me.
“Whoa. Chill out, man. Susannah and I were just getting to know each other. She’s playing a little hard to get, but—”
“Step the fuck away from her. Can’t you see she’s uncomfortable? She said no, you drunk dickhead!”
I’m mortified. Heat creeps up my neck, and I drop my gaze to the floor as my vision blurs with tears. I can feel every eye in the room stare at me.
A girl loudly whispers, “What’s wrong with her? What a weirdo…”
“Caitlin,” Alicia reprimands.
And suddenly I’m not at this party. I’m back in my living room, and the smell of my dad’s favorite beer is making me sick.
I can’t be here anymore. Bolting out of the house, I run across the lawn. When I reach the curb, tears of frustration roll down my face, and I sink down to the street. Why would Danny still want to be with me? I can’t even handle one stupid party without embarrassing him.
“Why are you like this?” I mutter, taking shallow breaths.
“Gracie!” Danny sprints my way, wrapping me in a hug from behind. “I turned around and you were gone.”
He gently strokes my head as he holds me, whispering, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry for leaving you,” into the back of my hair.
“It was his breath,” I whisper.
“What?”
My throat tightens, and fresh tears threaten to spill over. “I could smell the alcohol on his breath when he reached for my hair, and I…I…”
“It’s okay. Let’s blow out the candles together, okay?” He moves to crouch in front of me, holding up his hand and wiggling his fingers.
I wipe a tear from my eye. “Okay.”
“You go first, Gracie.”
I blow hard on his hand and he puts down all of his fingers and smiles. “Good job, baby.”
“Your turn.” I give him a weak smile, feeling a little calmer. Wiggling my fingers in front of my chin, I nod my head.
Danny leans forward, right in front of my face. He blows softly, and I recoil.
Get out of here before I do something that’ll get me in real trouble.
Danny’s face is one of horror as he immediately covers his mouth. “Gracie, I only took one sip before I came back to find you, I swear. Fuck. I wasn’t thinking…”
My hands fly up on either side of my face and cover my ears. Why can’t I be normal?
Danny stands up and takes a step back. “I’m so sorry, baby. God. I would never hurt you.”
“I know,” I sniff. My limbs feel too heavy to stand, gluing me to the street.
Danny briefly looks at the house and his gaze hardens. Oh no, what if people are watching? I tell myself to get up and move, but I’m frozen.
“Let’s go home, Gracie, away from all this.”
“Yes,” I whisper, though there’s no way I’m getting out of here by myself. My legs betray me as I try to move them.
“Can I pick you up and carry you to the car?”
I nod, and Danny pulls me into his arms, lifting me. As he cradles me against his chest, he makes sure to face his mouth away from me, breathing off to the side. He gently sets me down outside the passenger side before opening the door, and I gingerly climb in, my adrenaline fizzling out.
We sit in the car in silence as Danny reaches around me to buckle my seatbelt. For a few minutes, we both stare out the front window.
I face him, embarrassment twisting through my expression. “I’m sorry. You must b-be so humiliated. God.”
Danny turns to me slowly, his eyes locking onto mine.
“I will never drink again,” he vows.
His promise might as well be a marriage oath, the word never digging itself into the center of my heart.
Danny reaches out and carefully takes my hand, brushing his thumb back and forth across all of my knuckles in a soothing rhythm. “And I’m the one who should be sorry. I am so fucking sorry, Gracie,” he says hoarsely.
“It’s okay,” I breathe out. “You d-don’t have t-to—”
He gives my hand a firm squeeze. “I do have to. You’re the most important thing in the world to me, you know that right? You’re safe with me.”
I meet his eyes and find nothing but devotion. “I know.”
“Fact for a feeling, Gracie?”
Without thinking, I open my mouth to say something but surprise myself when nothing comes out. My mind revolts against me focusing on anything other than the events of tonight. I cement my lips back together, balking at our game for the first time in my life.
“Um, no thank you,” I whisper. “I d-don’t want t-to play t-tonight.”
Danny looks devastated, but he doesn’t let go of my hand.
“Okay, Gracie girl, maybe later. I love you.”
For years, Danny has told me he loves me. And gazing into his eyes, I wonder if it’s finally starting to mean something different for him, like it does for me.
“I love you, too.”