Chapter Eleven #3
“That stopped being true the moment I found you again.”
Her jaw tightened. I let my gaze move over her, taking in every change she had tried to make into proof that the past no longer owned her.
“Your hair, your clothes, the way you look at me as if I’m a problem you can manage,” I said, my voice roughening. “All of it is different. And that scar on your body sure as hell wasn’t there before.”
Her breath caught, and I saw the truth in that small reaction before she could bury it.
I stepped closer, close enough to trap her between me and the wall without laying a hand on her.
“But your eyes are the same,” I said. “And your body still knows me, no matter how hard you try to act like it doesn’t. ”
Her lips parted, but she said nothing. My gaze dropped over her again, anger mixing with something meaner, something I had no patience left to soften. “And you don’t wear green anymore.”
That hit her differently. I saw it in her face, in the way the fight in her eyes shifted for half a second into something older.
“You used to love that color,” I said, quieter now, though the edge stayed. “You wore it all the damn time. Like it belonged to you. Like it was part of you.”
I moved closer until the space between us was almost gone.
“So tell me, Edwina,” I murmured, my voice low enough to make the question feel more dangerous than a shout. “Did you stop wearing green because you hated the color, or because you couldn’t stand remembering the man who loved seeing it on you?”
“I don’t love that color anymore,” she said, her voice held together, though there was pain beneath it. “It reminds me of things I don’t want to remember. My past. The girl I used to be.”
Her lips pressed together before she continued.
“That naive girl you destroyed.”
The accusation hit exactly where she meant it to. For a moment, I said nothing, because there was no easy defense against the truth when it stood in front of you with tears in its eyes.
“Bad memories,” I repeated, my voice rougher now. “So that’s all I became to you? Something ugly enough to cut out? A color you couldn’t wear anymore because it carried too much of me?”
I moved closer before I could stop myself, anger and hurt twisting together beneath my skin.
“I don’t believe that, my little Flare.” Her name came out softer than the rest, though my voice still carried an edge. “People don’t erase things that mean nothing. They erase what still hurts.”
Her gaze flickered, and that small reaction was enough to keep me standing there when every part of me wanted to tear the truth out of the space between us.
“Do you think it was easy for me?” I asked. “Do you think I walked away from you and just learned how to breathe again? I tried to move on. I tried to bury you. I told myself you were a weakness, a piece of my life I needed to survive and leave behind.”
A bitter breath left me.
“Maybe I failed. Maybe some fucked-up part of me wanted to. Because whatever I did, you were still there. In my head. In my soul. In every damn silence I thought I owned.”
She said nothing. That silence hurt worse than her anger.
“What do you want from me now?” I asked, my voice dropping. “Tell me. Tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do with all of this. Tell me how to fix something I was never given the chance to fight for.”
I stepped closer, close enough to feel the warmth of her breath.
“Do you want me to beg?” I asked. “Because I will. I’ll fucking beg if that’s what it takes. I’ll get on my knees and say every word you should have heard from me years ago.”
Her eyes widened slightly, but she still didn’t speak.
“I’m fucking sorry,” I said, and the words tore out rough. “For lying. For letting you believe you were less than everything to me. For giving you reasons to think you were some hidden part of my life when you were the only part that ever felt real.”
My throat tightened, but I forced myself to keep going.
“I hate myself for letting you walk away believing that was all you were to me. You were never a secret in the way you think. I was a coward, Edwina, and you paid for it.”
Her eyes shone, and it nearly ruined me.
“There is nothing standing in the way now,” I said. “The engagement is gone. The arrangement is dead. Every lie that destroyed us has already burned through what it could. There’s only you and me, and I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I want one anyway.”
I lifted my hand but stopped before touching her, leaving the choice between us for once.
“Let me in, my little Flare,” I said, quieter now. “Completely. Without shadows. Let me stand beside you where everyone can see it. Let me love you properly this time.”
My voice broke slightly on the last words, and I hated how much of myself she could hear in them.
“Let me do it right. Please.”
For the first time since I had found her again, every shield I had used around her fell apart. The threat, the anger, the need for control, all of it burned away until there was nothing left but the truth.
And the truth was simple.
I wanted her back badly enough to beg.