Chapter 6
Rome
It takes some doing but I convince my mother to let Billie use Dad’s old Mercedes.
Well, it’s not that old, and only has eight thousand miles on it since no one has driven it beyond someone taking it in for service a few times.
I don’t think my mom is thrilled with the idea but it’s time for her to let go. She’s grieved him long enough.
Maybe we all have.
I left home a long time ago because that’s what hockey players do. I went to a prep school at sixteen, then college, went pro after graduation, and never looked back. I’d like to say I don’t have regrets but that would be a lie.
I have so many fucking regrets.
Consequently, losing my dad hit hard. Harder than I thought it would considering the distance between us in the decade before he died.
I was busy making a nuisance of myself as the loudest, chirpiest bruiser in the league—and getting involved with the absolute worst possible women—while keeping my family at arms’ length.
I’ve never been good at being a good guy.
Thirteen seasons in the NHL, and I don’t have anyone I would call a good friend. Someone from past teams who’d say they were bummed when I left. I play the lone wolf really well because I am one, and it’s all my own doing.
The one thing I’m good at is pushing people away.
Every time I’m traded to a new team I promise myself I’ll be better—do better—but it doesn’t happen. I guess it’s simply who I am. Friends and family just aren’t a thing for me.
“Rome, you sure you want to do this car thing? Billie’s never had a car before.” Bodi asks me as we head toward the family lounge.
“She has her license, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, I made sure she knows how to drive. She just doesn’t do it very often.”
“How come?”
“Well, I’m not going to let her drive my brand-new fifty-thousand-dollar SUV.”
“Why not?” I glance at him curiously.
“First of all, it’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever owned. Second, I don’t know how good of a driver she is. She was fine when I taught her but it’s been years since she got her license.”
“Did she drive whatever you drove before you bought this expensive new vehicle?”
He hesitates. “Yeah. On occasion.”
“So you were fine with her driving your old piece of junk, but not your shiny new toy?”
“Would you be?”
“I’m about to hand her the keys to a like-new Mercedes, so yeah. I’m fine with it.” We turn the corner and the first thing I see is Billie.
In tight jeans, her brother’s jersey, and that same sparkly pink lipstick she wore the night we met.
God dammit, why does that make me want to kiss her? Am I turning into a pervert?
No, that’s not who I am. I’m a lot of shitty things but not that.
She’s an adult.
Just because Bodi treats her like a child doesn’t mean she is one. She’s an adult in every sense of the word. And a beautiful one.
Who’s chatting with my sister like they’ve been friends for years.
Fuck.
My sister doesn’t need any excuses to stick her nose in my business so the last thing I want is for her to befriend Billie. Looks like it’s too late, though.
“Hey.” I walk over and join them.
“Mom isn’t feeling well,” my sister Athena says. “I think she’s just being a drama queen over the car thing. You know how she gets.”
I sigh. “Is she that upset?”
She shakes her head. “No. She just wants your attention, and while you certainly don’t visit her enough, don’t play into this. We’ve finally got her living her life again, so don’t let her regress.”
“Christ.” It’s always something with my family, especially my mother.
“I drove the Mercedes to the game,” Athena says. “And Billie will drive me home after, okay?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” I’m a little hesitant now, after talking to Bodi, and Billie picks up on it.
“What did Bodi tell you?” she demands, narrowing her eyes. “That I’m a terrible driver? That maybe you shouldn’t trust me with a Mercedes? That I don’t drive enough for him to know if I’m safe?”
I hesitate. I don’t want to get into this brother-sister pissing contest that appears to be a constant in their lives, but at the same time, I offered her the car and now it would be shitty to rescind it.
“Are you a safe driver?” I counter.
“Safer than him!” she says with a scowl.
“Ask him how many times he wrecked his old truck. And contrary to what he probably led you to believe, I used to drive all the time. His roommate Blake—you can ask him since he’s right over there—would drive him to and from practice or games, so I could use the truck. All the time.”
“Jesus.” I blow out a breath. “The two of you are like oil and water.”
“Look, if you don’t trust me to drive the car, it’s fine, but don’t let Bodi manipulate you into believing something that’s not true because he’s nervous about me having my freedom.”
I glance over to where Bodi’s talking to Blake Rourke like he doesn’t have a care in the world and realize Billie’s telling me the truth. Bodi is overprotective, plain and simple, and even though I should stay out of it, that ship has sailed. At least when it comes to the car situation.
“Take the car,” I say quietly. “Be safe so your brother doesn’t hit me with one of those damn I-told-you-soes and enjoy it. My dad would like that.”
She smiles and it lights up her whole face.
Hell, it lights up the whole damn room.
“Thank you.” Her tone and expression turn serious. “I’m a careful driver, Rome. I promise.”
“I believe you or I wouldn’t have offered.”
She pauses, looking up at me curiously. “To be fair, you have no idea how I drive. You don’t even know for sure I have a license, although Bodi would have brought that up if I didn’t.”
I shrug. “I can’t explain it. I trust you. And honestly, it’s just a car. If you get a few scratches, well, that’s life. It’s not the end of the world. You think I’ve never dinged up a car? Believe me, more than one.”
She doesn’t have a chance to respond before Blake comes over and picks her up, spinning her around. “I never fucking see you—were you even going to say hello?” he demands.
She laughs and hugs him. “I’ve been super busy with school and work, but I’m here now.”
“Come say hi to Rowan.”
I watch as Billie follows Blake and, within a few minutes, she and Rowan—who happens to be one of the assistant trainers on the team—are talking like fast friends. She seems to have that effect on people.
“She’s lovely,” Athena says quietly. “A little young for you, no?”
“What are you talking about?” I scowl at her. “She’s my roommate’s sister. That’s all.”
She arches her brows and doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Then why do you look at her like you’re a condemned man and she’s your last meal?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I mutter. “I’m just being nice.”
“It’s okay to like someone,” she says. “It’s okay to allow yourself to want something. Or someone. It doesn’t have to be forever, it can just be part of the journey. You’ve made some mistakes with relationships, but who hasn’t? You’re allowed to get back on the horse, Rome.”
“Yeah, well, her brother has made it clear that little filly is off-limits.”
She laughs. “Since when are you a rule-follower?”
“Since when are you the bad influence?” I demand. “Aren’t you the one who usually tells me to behave?”
“You’ve been beating yourself up since Dad died, and you’re struggling. Just like Mom. You want her to get past it, but you should think about that for yourself as well.”
“This has nothing to do with Dad,” I grumble.
“Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.” She puts her hand on my arm. “I know we haven’t been close over the years, but I’d like to try. I’m willing to work on it. If you are. At least while you’re in L.A. Because we both know you’re not planning to stay.”
Fuck.
What am I supposed to say to that?
On one hand, I’d like to spend more time with her.
On the other, what’s the point?
She’s right. I’m probably not going to be here once this season is over and my retirement plan is on the other side of the country. Won’t it just make things harder if we build a relationship and then I leave? Again?
You don’t have to leave.
A little voice in my head comes out of nowhere, mocking me.
Leaving has always been the plan.
I hate L.A.
Traffic and smog and a ridiculous cost of living.
Life in my New York cabin will be simple. Cheap. Quiet.
Lonely .
There’s that fucking voice again, saying shit I don’t want to hear.
“Let’s take things one day at a time,” I say, my mouth jumping way ahead of my brain.
“Absolutely.” She nods solemnly. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
Her eyes meet mine, and then we burst out laughing.
When was the last time I laughed with either of my sisters?
I can’t fucking remember.
Maybe it’s time to change all that.