Chapter 24
Rome
The next couple of days are wild. Despite my temporary physical limitations, Billie and I are all over each other because we know things are going to come to a screeching halt when Bodi gets back.
And they do.
He gets home late in the afternoon the following Wednesday. Billie’s at work and I’m in the kitchen heating up leftovers.
“Hey.” Bodi comes in, peering at what I’m eating. “Did you cook?”
“Nah. Billie made this a few nights ago. I’m eating the leftovers.”
“She at work tonight?”
I nod.
“Has she told you how the new job is going? I didn’t hear much from her on this trip.”
“She’s been straight out,” I say casually. “Busy as hell. Nita, her boss, is helping her with this project she has for her finance class, so she’s always at school or the diner.”
“Oh. Cool.” He opens the fridge. “Fuck, I need to eat something.”
“I think there’s some pot roast in the freezer,” I offer. “You can just throw it in the microwave. Billie freezes stuff for nights like this when she’s gone all day.”
He hesitates. “I don’t want to eat her stuff.” He pauses. “And you shouldn’t either.”
“She told me I could,” I say. “She ate it for the last two nights and said she was sick of it.”
“Right.” He hesitates. “You know, with you out right now, you’re home a lot and I don’t want you taking advantage of Billie.”
“Excuse me?” I scowl, narrowing my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Like having her cook for you. Do your laundry. Shit like that.”
“She cooks because she likes to,” I say, my patience hanging by a thread. “And I send my laundry out, just like you do.”
“It seems like you know more about her life than I do.”
“Because I’ve been here!” I say carefully. “You want me to just ignore her?”
“Yeah, actually.” He cracks a smile, like he’s joking, but I have a feeling there’s a veiled threat beneath it.
“Dude, do you want me to move out?” Frankly, it would make things easier for Billie and me, though I hate to think about the cost.
Bodi looks taken aback, then he shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I just worry about her. And I don’t know what’s going to happen once she graduates. She hasn’t decided about continuing graduate school or not, but she can’t sleep on the couch forever.”
“Of course not. And like I told you when I moved in—there’s a very good chance I won’t be here next season, so I’ll be gone and she can have my room.”
I say the words but everything inside of me is protesting.
I’m not holding out much hope that the Phantoms will keep me, but if they do, there is zero chance Billie and I are going to keep sneaking around. I’m close to ripping the band-aid off now, but she made me promise I wouldn’t, so I keep my mouth shut.
“And if you don’t leave?”
“You’ll need to give me some time to find a place I can afford.”
“Or maybe we could move into a three-bedroom,” he suggests. “She’s going to be working so even if she can’t split the rent, maybe she could pay utilities or whatever.”
“Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it,” I hedge.
I don’t know why but this whole conversation pisses me off.
“Okay, cool.” He pulls out his phone. “I’m going to order a pizza. You want anything?”
“No, I’m good.”
“I’m gonna eat and then crash. We’ve got an early practice tomorrow.”
“How was the trip?” I ask, trying to keep things friendly. “You guys looked good out there.”
“Yeah, we went 5-1, but it was too damn long.” He shrugs. “How’s your groin, by the way?”
“Still sore but getting better. Doc says I can start walking on the treadmill on Monday.”
“You think you’ll be back before the end of the season?”
“Don’t know. But I’ll definitely be back for the playoffs.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re on the mend. See you later.” He disappears up the stairs and I watch him go, irritation coursing through me.
It’s not that he’s done anything specific to piss me off, it’s just this whole situation with Billie.
How the hell am I going to spend the next week sleeping without her?
I’ve gotten used to having her next to me, seeing her pretty face first thing when I open my eyes, watching her make breakfast wearing nothing but one of my shirts.
Fuck, it’s going to be a long week until the next road trip, when Bodi leaves and I can breathe again.
The gym at the arena is quiet and empty when I get there on Sunday. I’m supposed to start walking tomorrow, but I can’t wait, and the groin is feeling a lot better. Frankly, with Billie working crazy hours and Bodi always underfoot, I’m going stir crazy.
I start out slow, because I don’t want to do anything to delay my recovery, and focus on whether or not there’s any pain that’s different than the norm. There’s movement behind me and I see Marty coming in.
“Hey, man.” I call out a greeting. He’s one of the few guys on the team I almost feel a kinship with. We’re close to the same age and he went through a pretty acrimonious divorce, so it feels like there’s something to bond over.
“How are you doing?” Marty asks, jumping on the treadmill next to mine.
“Not too bad,” I say. “Moving slow but at least I’m moving.”
“Good to hear. What have you been doing while you’re out?”
“Nothing,” I grumble. “It’s been boring as fuck.”
“Isn’t your family here?”
“Yeah, but we’re not close.”
“How’s it going living with Bodi and his sister?”
Jesus.
Nothing like being put on the spot.
“It’s fine,” I say with a shrug. “She’s almost never home, and he’s gone almost as much. It’s like having a place to myself. Honestly, moving in with Bodi really saved my ass because real estate in L.A. is ridiculous.”
“I hear that.” Marty nods. “But still, most real estate is a good investment.”
“I’m not looking to stay here once I retire,” I say carefully.
“No? Even though this is home?”
“I bought a place in upstate New York. Right on the lake. Five acres. Fishing and hiking and lots of peace and quiet. The exact opposite of L.A. That’s what my retirement plan looks like.”
Marty grimaces. “That sounds like torture to me, but to each his own. If that floats your boat, it’s a good plan. Especially if the place is paid off.”
I hesitate but it’s not like I have anything to hide. “It will be if I can play one more season. I’m close, but the second divorce wiped me out. And you know how it is once you get older—you never know which season will be your last.”
He nods. “Oh, yeah. I’ve got a couple of years left on my contract and then I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“What does your fiancé think?”
“Stevie’s a model, so she loves L.A. and this is going to be our home base for the foreseeable future.”
“You want to raise your kids here?”
“Sure. They’ll be in private school regardless of where we live, so that’s not a concern, and this is where Stevie has to be.
Besides, as much as I enjoy downtime at home with my family, I also enjoy going to nice restaurants, the beach, being close to museums and culture. Small town life is not for me.”
“After my second divorce I just wanted something that was mine. Small and secluded.”
“A place to lick your wounds.”
I never thought of it that way, but he’s right.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“And now that you’re over it? Is that still what you want? Is that where you envision yourself—and any woman you might want to settle down with?”
I shouldn’t even be thinking that far ahead but there’s no universe where I picture Billie living that life with me. And if I’m honest, that’s not the life I would want with her .
Which makes no sense.
That cabin, and the post-hockey life I’ve been planning, has been my lifeline.
“What were you thinking about just now?” Marty asks with a laugh. “You looked sick to your stomach.”
“I guess I was thinking about meeting a great woman, one that I might want to settle down with, and dragging her to my two-bedroom cabin in Bumfuck Nowhere, New York.”
“Like I said before, any real estate is a good investment. Even if you never set foot up there again, it should make you money if you sell it. By the same token, it might be a great summer house. Or a cozy winter getaway. Just because you shift gears doesn’t mean it was a bad idea.”
“I’ve made a lot of bad financial decisions,” I admit.
“I’m thirty-five years old and basically don’t have a pot to piss in.
My first wife took a lot, my second wife took what was left, and I’m still paying her alimony for a few more months.
Once that ends, I can put some money away. But only if I play one more year.”
Marty grimaces. “I hear you, man. But one thing about the Phantoms—if you’re loyal, Ms. Barrowman will respond in kind. She doesn’t play by the same rules as a lot of the other teams in the league. This is a great team to work for, if you can find your groove.”
“I’ve always struggled making friends,” I say after a moment. Normally, I wouldn’t admit something so vulnerable, but this is essentially my last shot. If the Phantoms don’t renew my contract—even for one more year—my career is over.
Maybe a little vulnerability is what I need.
“To be honest, you’re not at all what I was expecting,” he says after a moment.
“No? What were you expecting? A brash loud-mouth who hits on all your wives?”
He shrugs. “Maybe not quite like that, but close?”
“Like I said, I’ve always struggled making friends. I’ve been trying harder the last couple of years.”
“And this is a good place to start,” Marty says with a friendly smile. “Why don’t you come over to the house on Saturday? We’re going to have a few people over, hang out, grill some steaks. Nothing formal. You don’t need to bring anything.”
I hate the idea of going to a party without Billie, but I don’t think there’s any way to make that happen. Unless…
“You inviting others from the team?” I ask.
“Yeah, a few people. Why? There someone you don’t want me to invite?”
“No, not at all. I was just thinking that you might invite Bodi and Billie. They don’t have much of a support system, either, you know? Parents are dead, and neither of them are from here.”
“That’s a good idea. I will.”
Yeah, I’m full of good ideas.
Even the ones that will probably come back to bite me in the ass.