Chapter 14 #2
“Lilian.” Her mother snapped the folder of accounting files shut with an audible thump.
It was an impressive sound for the thin piece of office supply.
“I have watched you throw yourself into work the last couple weeks. And you’ve been by my side for even longer.
I’ve never been prouder but, honey, you need to take a break. ”
The sternness in her mother’s voice caught her off guard. She hadn’t heard The Teacher voice in years. “Mom, I appreciate that but…”
“No buts. Are you really going to make me say it?”
She blinked. “Say what?”
“The thing no mother should ever say to her child unless it’s an absolute emergency.” A dramatic pause sat between them, as if she expected Lilian to know. “Honey, go to the party. See your friends. Get drunk.” She thought about it for a second and then added, “Have sex.”
“Mom!” Laughter burst from her at the suggestion. “Please don’t say that ever again.”
“Well, it’s true.” Beatrice huffed. “Everyone needs to blow off steam sometimes, and you’ve been doing a lot. You are working very hard, but you need to have fun, too.”
“I do have fun. At the faire.”
Her mother shook her head, gray curls bobbing. “No, the faire is work now. You might have fun there, but it's still work. You need to protect this.” She waved a hand at her daughter’s entire body.
Lilian didn’t know what to say. “My… heart?”
“Your spirit,” her mother clarified, as if it were obvious. “Right now, you love what you're doing. Don’t work so hard that you forget why you're doing it.”
Lilian stared at her mother, dumbfounded. “I… won’t.”
It was hard, yes. But she realized she loved the work.
More than that, she thrived in it. Making the store more efficient, talking to other bookstore owners like Emily.
Before, she’d just been a woman behind the counter, reading the day away.
That wasn’t who she was anymore. Even if Ten Cents Books wasn’t hers, it was still a part of her.
From the look in her mother’s eyes, she could see that the other woman had come to that same realization.
“Good, now let’s close up. I’m tired.”
Lilian laughed as she nodded her assent.
A smile cracked across her mother’s face, and for the first time in months, there was an air of normalcy between them.
Lighter. They used to spend late nights at the store, talking about life, books, and relationships.
That all stopped when her mother got sick and Lilian’s social life shrank down to almost nothing.
Things still weren’t perfect, but like with Bodice and Brawn, Lilian dared to hope this was a sign that things were finally going to get better. She typed out a quick reply before the motivation slipped away.
Fine, I’ll be there in an hour.
Pirate Queen Alex
Huzzah!
Margo
Lilian! I thought you would agree with me on the sanctuary of pajama time!
Technically I’m not in my pajamas yet. :P
Margo
That book shop has changed you. I don’t even know who you are anymore.
Lilian smiled as she pocketed her phone. Neither do I.
Forty minutes later, staring at a cute blue house off one of Manhattan’s student residential areas, Lilian regretted her decision. Not because it was late. Or because she'd decided to go still dressed in her joggers and cropped hoodie.
She realized she was out of her depth.
All the parties she’d attended in college were quiet affairs, meetings at the houses of other English majors where they drank box wine and pontificated about the deeper meaning of American literature— if such a thing existed.
Now, Lilian realized those weren’t really parties. Those had been study dates. This, however…
The music from the speakers could be heard from outside. A soft thump thump that hummed in the fall air. Shadows of guests could be seen from outside, while others crowded the wrap-around porch. The place looked packed.
She swallowed hard. You’re an adult. It’s a party. Worst-case scenario is you go in, have one drink, and go home. Plus, your friends are there.
God, when had she become such a shut-in?
It wasn’t really a question. She knew exactly when. The moment when everything else started falling around her. When the cancer diagnosis hit their family. When she’d moved back in with her parents. When she’d agreed to take over an underselling bookstore that wasn’t hers.
But that wasn’t entirely fair either. She’d withdrawn after college, when the job market proved difficult. When a frustration simmered under her that she wasn’t doing anything with her degree. Or doing anything, period.
Do something for yourself. Have fun. That was what everyone was telling her these days.
“Don’t miss an opportunity,” Hawk had said. She hated that his voice kept replaying in her mind, but that one piece of advice stuck with her. It didn’t just apply to business. She needed to take opportunities here, now. Taking a deep breath, she marched up the crooked sidewalk and let herself in.
The humming exploded into a cacophony of chattering voices, music, and cheers of “Huzzah!” as she entered the room.
But more surprising were the cries of “Ms. Bodice!” that welcomed her from twenty different voices.
She blinked, eyes adjusting to the illuminating brightness of Alex’s house. It had the typical college set-up. Old couch, large-screen television, a thrifted coffee table covered in drinks. As soon as her sneakered feet hit the wood floors, something sticky attached themselves to the bottoms.
A wave of nostalgia hit Lilian at the sight of it. But even more overwhelming was the sense that she belonged.
Alex pushed through the crowd. “You made it!” Her eyes were dark with makeup, and a comically large pirate hat sat on her head. It was a strange combination with a lacy red and black dress. “I can’t believe you made it!”
“Thanks for inviting me. You were right. I needed to get out.”
Alex’s eyes sparkled. “Come here,” she said, yanking Lilian deeper into the crowd. “We need a drink to celebrate!”
They made it to the back of the house, where a small kitchen acted as the party’s watering hole.
David was there, with Margo perched on the counter.
For someone who had been in her pajamas only forty minutes ago, her friend looked good in a long black skirt and a green knit sweater.
Tonight, she sported a pair of black, cat-eye glasses that gave her the appearance of a stylish 1960s model.
“Hey, look who made it!” David hailed, raising a bottle of beer in salutation.
Margo nudged the knight’s ribs. “You’re one to talk. Shouldn’t you be studying how to save cows or something?”
He clutched his chest in mock hurt. “I am an equine veterinarian. I only deal with horses. Plus, I never miss a faire party. They are pretty rad.”
Margo made a face. “Who says rad anymore?”
“I’m bringing it back.”
The music Lilian had heard from outside now came in clear as bells. It was an eclectic playlist, jumping from early 2000s girl ballads one minute to Irish pub music the next.
Alex handed Lilian an icy bottle of Boulevard Brews. As Margo and David fell into a conversation about the variety of veterinarian jobs, Lilian turned to Alex. “Am I seeing things, or did I see Logan in here a second ago?”
Her friend’s face flushed in annoyance. “No, you saw him all right. I invite all the faire actors, but he usually doesn’t come.”
“Then why’d he come tonight?”
“Don’t know.” She took a deep swig of her beer. When the glass pulled away with a quiet pop, she added, “He said one of my crew begged him, but they all know better. He’s a douche, and if any of them were really interested, I would sit them down immediately for therapy.”
“Dang.” She’d never heard Alex use such heat when it came to Logan. They annoyed each other, sure, but this was something closer to actual hate. It reminded her of how she used to talk about Hawk.
Used to, but not anymore.
She looked around the small kitchen. Searching the crowd for a familiar polo shirt or dark hair.
“He’s not here.”
“What?” She turned to Alex, eyes wide. Busted. “Who’s not here?”
“The guy you’re looking for,” Alex said knowingly. “I invited him, but he doesn’t do parties anymore, I guess. Didn’t even text me back.”
“Oh yeah?” She wasn’t surprised, but it didn’t make her feel better that he treated everyone else like that. “He can be a jerk sometimes. Even when he doesn’t know it.”
“Tell me about it,” Alex huffed.
“What did Logan do that got you so fired up?” Lilian asked, swiftly changing the topic.
“Nothing,” Alex muttered. “He keeps trying to hit on my girls and steal them for his crew. But it's not going to work.” She shouted the last part, throwing the words at the open porch doorway where the pirate king had disappeared. Her eyes suddenly widened in realization. “Shit. Courtney’s out there now. I bet he’s going to try to recruit her now that she’s five drinks in. Well, not on my watch.”
“Alex—”
Before Lilian could say anything more, Alex ran outside, determined to make sure Logan had a miserable night.
Shaking her head, she looked around the party again. There were a few faces she recognized even outside of faire garb. But no one she gravitated toward. She stayed close to Margo and David, nursing her beer quietly.
Why did you even come, if you weren’t going to socialize? ahe chastised herself, feeling stupid. Faire actors were some of the nicest, most accepting people she’d ever met. Everyone had greeted her like family when she came in. But there was one face that wasn’t there.
At the thought of Hawk though she couldn’t help but reach for her phone to check if there were any text messages from him.
There were none, of course. His name blinked at the top of her screen, reminding her of her last embarrassing question.
It would have been easy to be mad at the lack of response. Instead, she felt like something was missing. A strong sense of yearning pulled at her fingers. Without a second thought, she typed out a message.
I got the most beautiful business cards today. I'm official.