Chapter 25
Backstage was nothing like The Crown Stage.
It wasn’t even much like the stage she’d been on in high school.
It was spacious, but empty. With only a few people milling around, organizing the envelopes for distribution and adjusting their masks.
It was also completely dark except for the sharp line of light that opened to the main ballroom.
Lilian squinted against it, searching for the familiar tall figure who’d haunted her shop for weeks on end. For the clipboard she knew she recognized.
“Hey, you shouldn’t be back here.” She turned to find David standing to the side. Her relief was immediately swallowed by confusion at the tight T-shirt designed to look like a tuxedo.
“Um… David. What’s with the T-shirt? Didn’t anyone tell you what the dress code was?”
He looked down, his large hand smoothing out the shirt. “Margo told me, but I thought she was kidding. And I don’t really have anything that fits the dress code.” He shook his blond curls and focused back on her. “But that’s not important now. You shouldn’t be back here.”
“I… needed to check something.” She offered a sheepish smile, but David was shaking his head again.
“Sorry, Ms. Bodice. I have orders.”
She took a step back to the entrance stairway, but David’s large body was moving her in the direction of the exit.
“I’ll be quick, I swear.”
He sighed, looking as if he really did not want to be the one to kick her out. But a new voice cut in before he could apologize.
“It’s all right, she can stay.”
She knew that voice.
Stepping away from one of the back set tables was Hawk. The dark silk shirt and black trousers blended with the shadows, making him invisible.
David looked between the two of them like a dog sensing tension between his two favorite people. Hawk sighed and handed him an envelope as Janelle called out, “Next is this year’s winner for best act!”
No one moved. Hawk’s gaze stayed on Lilian, then dipped, taking in her gown. The deep cut between her breasts. The slit teasing the shape of her leg. Something dark and unmistakable flashed through his eyes.
Same, Lilian thought, returning the appreciation in kind.
His long silk sleeves were pushed up to his elbow, revealing forearms that looked perfectly sculpted.
A soft puff of air escaped her before she could stop it.
This was not an outfit Hawk would have ever worn before.
Which she was now very grateful for, because it would have launched him to the top of every woman’s fantasy list.
“Go, I got this.” Hawk didn’t sound angry or resigned. His eyes stayed on Lilian; the quiet stoicism of them made the floor tilt from under her feet.
With one last glance, David left them to enter the stage. The crowd cheered their approval at the blond knight’s appearance. Even a few whistles pierced the air. But it all became white noise to Lilian. She didn’t hear who won the best act. Or best new act. Or best dressed.
All she cared about were the first words out of Hawk’s mouth. “Lilian, what are you doing here?”
“No fair.” She jolted at the words, hot indignation instantly igniting in her stomach. “I was going to say that to you first!”
His lips tilted up, and it eased the tension between them. She could plainly see the thought curling in his mind, the same one that pierced her. This is like old times.
He waved an arm between them, inviting her to speak up. “I’m sorry, go ahead.”
“You never come to these things.”
“Well, this year was different.”
“Why?” she asked, working hard to keep her exasperation quiet.
He stared at her, brown eyes as unmovable as mountains. She knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth. “Because this year was special for you. I put a lot of work into it, and I didn’t trust anyone else to execute the vision.”
She stood there, the words sinking in. The memory of the two of them in her bookshop as he admitted the stress of the ball.
He’d said it was the budget. Now she understood.
That was partially true. The rest of the stress was from…
well, the evidence was all around them. But there was more to it. “You did this for me?”
He shrugged, eyes glancing toward the ground. As if the truth embarrassed him. “I want to say I did it for everyone. For Mom, for the faire. But I’ve come to realize… there is only one person I’m doing this for.”
The admission cut her like a broadsword. “But you didn’t even reply when I asked you.”
His smile disappeared. “Because I had this whole romantic plan in my head of asking you first and impressing you with all my knowledge about the Raven King. But then you asked me, and I… had to come up with a new plan.”
“And now?” she asked. “You were going to stay back here hiding from me all night?”
“You found me, didn’t you?”
She opened her mouth, ready to deny the claim and everything it implied. But she couldn’t. She looked down at the clipboard in his hand. Then up to the small, sad smile on his face.
“I promised myself that I wouldn’t interfere with your night. That I would stay hidden and make sure it was everything you wanted. And if you found me…” He stopped, licked his lips as if considering if he should continue or not, and said, “I needed it to be your decision.”
Janelle’s voice cut through the noise in her head, calling out, “Next up is the winner of best new vendor!”
Hawk’s smile grew as Logan pushed the curtain aside and joined them. The pirate king stopped, taking in Lilian and Hawk. “Um…”
“Here.” Hawk handed him the folded paper and turned back to the table. “You be the one to give it to her.”
Logan’s eyes cut to Lilian, a question burning in them like a raging fire. She expected him to turn go back on stage, hand the envelope to Janelle for the announcement. But instead, he stalked toward her, cream paper extended out.
She took it and flipped it open.
It seemed Janelle didn’t need the card to know who the winner was. Her voice rang loud and clear in joyous exclamation. “Ms. Lilian Brody’s Bodice and Brawn Bookshop! Soon to be a brick-and-mortar store in a town near you!”
Lilian stared at the words written on the paper. Congratulations. I'll bite.
He knew.
He knew all along that she was going to be here. Not just at the ball but receiving this award. Holding this paper. That she would find him.
There wasn’t time for the realization to sink in before Logan was pushing her toward the stage.
She turned her body, trying to get one last glance at Hawk, but Janelle was already pulling her in for a hug.
Applause rang out around them. Something tall and metal appeared in her hands.
There was no choice, Lilian plastered on the brightest smile she could muster.
In front of her was a sea of colors that had no faces. Right now, only one person mattered.
As soon as she could, she turned her attention backstage. Not caring to take the stairs to leave like all the other winners. Instead, her feet carried her back to the familiar darkness of the left wing, but Hawk was no longer there.
“I think we broke her.” Margo’s eyes were full of sympathy as she sipped her champagne.
Lilian sighed. “We?” she probed. “You guys didn’t do this…”
He did.
She stared down at the trophy. It wasn’t anything too fancy. A medium-sized fake gold plastic that had a knight standing at attention. But under it was the inscription she knew only came from Hawk. I’ll bite.
In The Lions’ Den, the lions said that when they were ready to commit to an idea. To a business. A person. It was the same thing written on the card. Something only she would understand. But did he mean the words?
“Hawk never comes to these things,” she said, more to herself than to the friends surrounding her.
Margo and Alex shared a look. Neither seemed surprised by the statement. It was the pirate queen who spoke next. Her words were soft as she asked, “Did you want to see him?”
Yes, more than anything.
Knowing he was here but giving her space somehow hurt worse than if he hadn’t shown up at all.
“I thought I would be angry when I saw him. But I wasn’t.
I was…” She bit the inside of her cheek as a confusing swell of emotion rose inside her.
It felt familiar. A swirling, swooping sensation she remembered well.
All those times she and Hawk bickered in front of her shop.
When he’d finally smiled at her. When they’d kissed that night at his apartment.
It wasn’t as simple as anger or happiness. She knew that now.
It was something stronger.
“Lilian,” Alex said, drawing her attention back. “Do you want to see him again?”
She looked up. Performers had taken to the dance floor.
The acrobats of the faire were putting on a sensual show.
The chandeliers dimmed as dark red LED lights encased the room.
Her eyes searched the crowd for his familiar face, just one more time.
When she didn’t see him, disappointment struck like an arrow.
“Yes,” she whimpered, feeling her lip wobble with the word.
There were so many things unsaid between them. So many things she wanted to ask him, to tell him. Congratulations, his letter said. Even now he was cheering her on from afar. She hated the devotion it showed and loved it fiercely. That was the essence of their relationship.
Hatred and love, masquerading as two separate things when they swirled together into an emotion that burned so bright she couldn’t tell where one started, and the other began.
“Yes,” she repeated, no longer on the edge of tears. She looked at her friends, who were both smiling. “Do you know where he went?”
“In fact, I do…” Alex pointed behind her, and Lilian spun. And saw him standing two paces behind her.
Hawk. A Raven mask adorned his face now, the black feathers blending perfectly with his hair. Against the blood red lighting, he was a dead ringer for the actual Raven King.
He was here.
He hadn’t left.