Chapter 25
Niamh
I wake alone, with only the thin sheet pulled up over my body.
I’m still on my side, and even though he was only here for a few hours, I miss Cillian’s presence behind me.
I keep my eyes closed for as long as I can, replaying the events of last night.
The feel of him pressed against me. My eyes flash open at the memory of what I did to him, the feeling of his cock in my mouth, swallowing his cum as he found his release.
I’m not sure I can ever face him again – except that I want … more.
Part of me is rightly pissed off about the way Cillian’s been manipulating me over the years, watching me, keeping other men at a distance, ‘dealing’ with them. But at least he looked a little shamefaced after he’d told me.
He’s returned my phone to me, leaving it on the bedside cabinet and I tap in my pin.
There’s a post it on it instructing me not to contact anyone but him, and for a moment I can’t work out if that’s him being ultra-controlling or keeping me safe.
There are so many red flags flying around him, this could easily be just a way of controlling me.
But, I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, this time, and wait until I’ve spoken to him.
I switch off my read receipts as a precaution and then read through all 141 messages that Rose has left since she woke up on Saturday morning. Tears pool in my eyes as her messages show that she’s losing hope.
I hope Cillian is lying to me and that you’re not dead. I will never forgive him if he hunted you down.
I smile at the message, which would have made no sense before Friday, but now explains so much. And proves that my friend, despite her faults, truly cares for me. It seems to run in her family. Although I can’t help worrying that the way Cillian cares for me, might destroy me.
I expect him to return that evening, or at least to come back after he finishes working at the club, but he doesn’t.
* * *
Days pass, giving me far too much time to think.
On the second day, a parcel of my clothes arrived, including a swimsuit.
I looked for a note in the bundle, but there was nothing – although the fact that there were so few matching outfits in it tipped me off that it was Cillian who packed for me rather than Rose.
I wonder why he hasn’t told Rose I’m alive. Maybe because the more people who know, the more likely it is that Vittoria might find out. And he also won’t want Rose to come here and find Matt. And she would come here, I was sure of it. She wouldn’t just abandon me here.
Today is another beautiful day, the eighth since Cillian left me.
Despite having messaged him several times, I’ve had no response.
Matt has assured me that time can pass differently between the worlds and that Cillian may only have been gone for a few minutes.
But even this does nothing to help my growing anxiety.
The lazy summer days have made an otherwise dull and miserable existence more bearable.
When I first arrived, I discussed helping the Seven with their cases should they decide to face The Unseelie Court, and now I while away my evenings discussing the details with them and using the practices I’ve learned at law school over the past four years.
It’s hard to come up with a defence when the Underworld laws don’t seem to exist in written form, and much seems to be decided by either Vincenzo or The Unseelie Court’s magic, which means I’m often at a loss for what they think I can do.
Matt’s case is the most clear-cut – put the ball in the Rialis’ court and ask them to present evidence of motive and a link to the weapon used.
I notice that, despite my offer, neither Declan, Dominic nor James has come to ask for help.
With his personality and obnoxious behaviour, I’m pretty sure that Sal must be a serial killer, and I can’t realistically see any court letting him walk free.
But he’s determined that his motivations should exonerate him.
I am less convinced, but it’s not my job to judge, so I listen – and mostly regret having done so.
There’s been several times I’ve had to ask him to stop talking and give myself time to come to terms with some of the things he’s done – not that any sane person could ever fully justify them and I’m realising that I will need to learn to accept that sometimes my actions might help to set a villain free – if I ever get back to that life.
* * *
My afternoon ritual is to swim with Matt.
He’s started wearing boxers to swim, which has made the whole situation a lot less embarrassing.
Twice, we’ve swum to the opposite shore but, just as Matt told me, as soon as we reach the beach on the other side, we find ourselves right back on the island again.
‘This is ridiculous,’ I complained the first time. ‘The monastery was all the way over there, and now it’s right here.’
Matt laughs. ‘Welcome to the Underworld, where the laws of nature are more suggestions than actual laws.’
I roll my eyes and set off again, checking the position of the far shore and the monastery on a regular basis until my feet touch the shore and, bam, I’m right back on the island looking up at the buildings along the shore.
‘Look on the positive side,’ Matt tells me.
‘What positive side?’ I snap.
He shrugs. ‘The sun is shining, and we don’t have anything else to do until the delivery gets here?’
‘Yeah, that really makes up for everything.’
Today, we’re all waiting for a delivery to arrive. The Brothers will all need to pass through to the human world to collect it, and all I’m expected to do is put anything arriving for the kitchen away once someone else has brought it to the Underworld.
I can see why Matt needs to be positive, though.
He’s been here a long time and is fully aware that his life is passing him by.
He’s four years older than when I last saw him, and what I notice most is that he seems to have given up.
Whereas I’m still determined that I’m not going to stay here any longer than necessary.
With the weather being so warm and having nothing to do once the cooking and cleaning is finished, I’ve been trying to persuade myself that the rest is simply an unexpected holiday. Hopefully when Cillian returns…
‘Stop it,’ Matt says, swimming over.
‘Stop what?’
‘That smile, that’s a sex smile.’
‘What? No, it’s not.’
He just grins at me, and I flush deeply. I guess maybe it was a sex smile.
‘So, you and Cillian.’ He shakes his head. ‘Maybe if I ever get out of here, there might actually be hope for me and Rose.’
‘Will I need to get out of here for there to be any hope between me and Cillian?’
‘How much do you know about The Unseelie Court and how it operates?’
‘Not much. All the Kinfolk I’ve met have seemed basically human, I’ve never noticed anything different unless it’s been pointed out to me. Declan showed me his true form.’
‘Most will have been using Glamour to hide their true physical selves – like Declan and Lachlan, obviously. And humans are easy to fool. No offence. You’ll see more and more the longer you’re here.
’ He pauses, as if trying to decide whether to explain that further or not. ‘So many of us hide in plain sight.’
‘What about Cillian? Is he hiding … something?’
Matt chuckles. ‘Lots of things, I’m sure, but his physical appearance isn’t one of them. Not in his case. Or any of the Hunters for that matter.’
‘But—’ I pause. It’s going to sound crazy, but I really need to know. ‘Sometimes I see Cillian with antlers.’
Matt nods, as though that’s perfectly normal.
‘Cernunnos. Dressed in the leathers and adorned with the antlers of the mightiest deer in the Caledonian Forest. You see him like that when he embodies the Huntsman. Each of the families represents one of the old gods. Family representations can change if a bloodline dies out, or is … well, let’s just say that, similar to in the human world, sometimes people want to take what rightfully belongs to others and are willing to kill to get that. ’
‘Like the Rialis?’
‘Like the Rialis. They came here nearly a century ago from Northern Italy. They are Kinfolk, as you know, and rose to power here very quickly. Vincenzo’s grandfather was ruthless and ambitious – just like his descendants.
And so good at obtaining information about their rivals … well, about everyone, really.’
‘So Kinfolk exist all over the world?’
Matt shrugs. ‘Wherever there are humans, there are Kinfolk. The Underworld exists everywhere, although it has its own borders and boundaries. The two of them impact on one another, though, even if humans don’t always know it.
There are so many different magics that I’m sure I’m not even aware of them all.
The longer you’re here, the more you’ll understand. ’
Then his expression falters. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it tightly, looking earnestly into my eyes. ‘You shouldn’t be here. We need to find a way to get you back home. Humans pass through into the Underworld for a variety of reasons…’
‘And?’ I prompt.
‘And it usually doesn’t end well.’
‘Oh.’ I frown and try to work out what he means. It doesn’t feel different being here. My daily life is different, certainly, but I’m not sure what would be different if I’d ended up in these circumstances in the human world.
‘I don’t really know how you got here, or why. You implied Cillian sent you here, but … but I saw him here with you and I know that isn’t the whole truth, is it?’
‘No,’ I confirm, but I’m learning not to volunteer more than is asked, so I stop there.
‘The longer you stay, the less likely you are to ever get home. Time can pass very differently when you step through a thin place.’
‘How long have you been here?’
‘How long have I been gone?’
‘Almost four years,’ I tell him.
‘It feels longer,’ Matt says.