Chapter 23
23
H arper stared at the arena through her camera lens and snapped a dozen pictures. She knew they would be good, but as she looked through them, her heart wasn’t in it.
She sighed. “Lord,” she whispered. It had become part of her routine to pray throughout the day, and she loved having an open conversation with Jesus all the time. “What do you want me to do?” It was a daily question. She hadn’t known any other life than this for a long time, but being on the road felt even lonelier after being at Whispering Oaks with the Macklin family. As much as she felt loved and welcomed there, they weren’t her family, and she couldn’t stay there forever.
Not without Lawson.
She wondered what he was doing now. Her prayers often turned to him, and now she uttered the words she prayed every day. “Lord, draw Lawson to You. Open his heart to see Your love and kindness and call him to follow You.”
Harper pulled out her phone and absentmindedly scrolled through the job postings she had opened earlier that morning. Was she even supposed to be looking for a job? Her eyes ran over the titles: staff photographer, travel photojournalist, second photographer for weddings. Was any of that what she really wanted to do?
“God, I don’t know what’s next. But I don’t think I want to keep doing this. I want to settle down somewhere and stay put. Would You show me where that is?”
She closed her eyes, and though she couldn’t say if it was from the Lord or not, she hoped maybe it was the answer. Because all she could think about was Whispering Oaks Ranch. Maybe, just maybe, He would lead her back there one day. She would keep praying for that.
And she would keep praying for Lawson.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, startling her so much that she almost dropped it. The name on the screen surprised her, and she answered right away. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, sweetie. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Is everything okay?” They didn’t talk often, and Harper’s mind immediately started worrying.
“Well, yes and no. We’re fine, there’s nothing seriously wrong. But we’re not getting any younger. Harper, it’s been too long. We miss you and would like for you to come home. Not just for a couple of hours or a day, but to stay.”
Harper’s heart thudded hard against her chest. “Oh, I…” she searched for an excuse, but nothing came to mind. Suddenly, she realized this was her answer. God was making it very clear. It was time. And now she felt like she could finally bear it. “Okay, Mom.”
“Okay?” Mom said, sounding surprised. She must have been prepared to put up a fight.
“Yes. Okay. I’m working a rodeo today and tomorrow, but then I’ll come home.” Even as she said the words, they felt funny on her tongue and to her soul. Was it really home anymore?
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Mom practically shouted. “We’ll have your room ready for you.”
“Sounds good, Mom.” Harper wasn’t sure what she would do there. Maybe God had a job lined up for her, or maybe her parents didn’t want to say that something else was wrong, and they needed her. All she knew was this was the next step she needed to take. And that was all she needed right now.
Lawson stomped the mud off his boots on his front porch before stepping through the door. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower, and he moved quickly through the house. As he let the hot water pour over his tired muscles, he knew he could stay in there all night. But he had more important things to do.
The day had been long, and he had rushed through dinner with the family to check on a cow in labor. He genuinely hated missing the time with his brothers. Their old camaraderie was back, and it was like old times, while also being a new relationship as they treated each other like adults. Lawson felt respected and needed in their group.
After his shower, he dressed in shorts and an old T-shirt and made his way into the living room. His Bible sat on the coffee table. After that first night reading it, he had kept it open and now he was reading it every day. So much of it he had heard or read before, but now he saw all of it in a new light. It wasn’t just stories of battles, giants, and prophets. It was the story of how Jesus came to save the world.
Lawson smoothed his hand over the pages of the Bible as he read. He whispered a prayer, thankful that God had opened his heart to His word. Lawson closed his Bible, folded his hands, and closed his eyes. “Lord, thank You for Your word. Thank You for opening my eyes to see Your goodness. Thank You for sending Your Son for me. I know I didn’t deserve it, but I’m beginning to see that You don’t do what we deserve, and I’m thankful for that. We all deserve eternal punishment. I’m sorry that for so long I’ve believed that the bad things in the world are because You just want to see us hurting. I know that it pains You to see evil and pain in the world, but that’s not what You want for us. Sometimes it’s just the consequences of sin existing in the world. I pray that You would help me to encourage others and show them that too.”
As it often did while he was praying, his mind drifted to Harper. “God, I know I pushed Harper away because I didn’t want the faith that she had found. Now we share the same faith, but she doesn’t know it. I don’t know what she’s decided or where she is, but I want to tell her that I’m following You.” He hung his head and chuckled. “Actually, I want much more than that. I want to be with her. But I want it to be what You have for us. And I want her to be happy. I don’t know if she wants to continue to travel and work. I would never ask her to stop that if that’s what she wants to do. I pray that You would lead us together in Your timing and show me Your plan.
“Show me what the next step is. But help me to be patient.” He opened his eyes and looked around his house, hoping that one day maybe Harper would share this home with him.
Immediately, he had a sense that the time for patience was over, and it was time to reach out to Harper. He grabbed his phone, eager to talk to her. Then he sighed. He wanted to do this right. Harper was special, and she deserved all the best things. No, he wouldn’t call her now. Maybe he would text her and just let her know. He felt like the Lord was allowing him to move forward now. But he wanted to do it right. “Okay, God, I know that I want to talk to her. But when I do, I want to have a plan. Help me to know the right words to say and what You have for us next.”
Lawson rose and went to bed, praying and thinking about Harper. And knowing that when he saw her again, he would be ready to talk about the future.