Chapter 7
7
Nina moved over to let Zeke into the bed with her. She’d never shared a bed with a man, but in the darkness of night and the shadows of the truth she shared, she needed to feel him by her side. She wasn’t strong enough to keep the memories at bay for another night. Not when she was already feeling the familiar terror of the night creeping in.
But when she was in Zeke’s arms, all she felt was safe. Loved. Protected.
He laid on his back, as rigid as he was on the couch. Nina hated she was asking him to do things he wasn’t comfortable with. She was being clingy and making it awkward between them. And he was nice enough to not call her on it.
After ten minutes of neither of them relaxing, Nina rolled out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Zeke asked.
“Bathroom,” she whispered, trying to keep the pain from her voice. She needed him, and she hated that she did, but doing that was taking something from him she had no right to take.
Nina closed the bathroom door and drew a breath. Blood pounded in her ears, shame heating her cheeks. After so many years with no one, it was hard for her to rely on anyone. She told herself so many times that she was all alone and only had herself, but being free, being with Zeke, she felt like she could breathe.
But not if she made him uncomfortable.
Nina used the bathroom and washed her hands, then brushed her teeth. It was time to give Zeke some of his space back. She hadn’t seen his guest room, but she would move into it so he could have his room back.
She drew a shaky breath and opened the door.
Zeke was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in front of him, forearms resting on his knees.
He looked up at her and stood when she stepped into the room. He tossed the blankets back on the bed and stood next to it.
“I’m, um, I’m going to give you your space back. I’ll stay in the guest room.”
“No,” Zeke said, making a move toward the door.
“It’s fine, Zeke. I’ll go to Monty’s tomorrow. I know I’m making you uncomfortable. I didn’t realize it until tonight.”
“Get in the bed, Nina.”
Nina shook her head. “Zeke, just?—”
“Get in the damn bed.”
Nina looked up at him. That wasn’t a look of anger. Or discomfort. It was the one and only look she recognized from a man. “Zeke?”
He slammed his eyes closed, cutting her off from the look of desire. “Please.”
She nodded, even though his eyes were still closed. “Okay.”
He moved to the side so she could get into bed without touching him. “Please stay.”
She nodded, her throat tight. She remembered the first time a man looked at her like that. A boy really. Her high school boyfriend was not right for her, but she learned a lot from dating him. He was kind and good to her, but he was never Zeke.
The bathroom door closed behind Zeke, and Nina let out a breath. The tingles of awareness coursing through her were not new, but they were welcome for the first time in a very long time.
Nina didn’t choose the life she had, but she did what she could to make the most of it. Some men she was with were nicer than others. They wanted her to enjoy their time. She knew it was mostly because it brought them more pleasure if she had an orgasm, but it allowed her to trick her mind into enjoying the experience. There were times she convinced herself it wasn’t so bad.
When she forgot about the threat to her life if she left and pushed aside the lack of choice.
Sex was as much of a punishment as drugs, but once Gwendolyn trusted Nina wouldn’t run, Nina had more agency in her choices. She had some repeat clients. Ones of her choosing. It was the best she could do, and the only way she could feel like her life wasn’t completely out of her control.
The men who became her regulars were good to her. One asked if she was safe when she walked in with bruises. She never saw him again, but Nina appreciated the concern he had for her.
She was never grateful for her situation, but she knew it could have been so much worse than it was. And she learned to enjoy sex. She learned to make it enjoyable for her partner. And she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of lover Zeke was.
Would he be commanding in bed? Maybe he was generous. She expected him to be demanding, wringing every ounce of pleasure from his partner.
Thinking about sex with Zeke had Nina wet and curious by the time the bathroom door opened and Zeke reappeared. He turned off the bathroom light and plunged them into darkness. He didn’t move for a moment, then he walked toward her.
Slowly, like he was stalking her. Or afraid of her.
He laid down on the mattress next to her and tugged the sheet and comforter over both of them.
Awkwardness settled over them again, Nina shifting in the bed and wishing she’d left the bedroom while Zeke was in the bathroom. She hated making him uncomfortable.
“I don’t want you to leave,” Zeke whispered, his voice gravelly and rough.
“I don’t want you to feel weird with me here.”
“It’s fine.”
“That’s not making me feel better.”
“Let’s get some sleep.”
Nina stared at his profile, faintly visible in the dark room. He laid on his back, hands on his chest. Every inhale lifted his chest, every exhale lowered it. He didn’t move otherwise. Didn’t settle and rest.
He sat up all night the night before, guarding the door where she slept. He had to be exhausted. But he still wasn’t sleeping.
Nina inched closer, wanting to feel the heat of his body next to her, the reminder he was there. She rested her hand on the mattress between them, stretching until her hand brushed his bicep.
He sucked in a breath but didn’t move away from her.
She closed her eyes and let sleep come. Finally safe.
Exhaustion finally claimed Zeke an hour after Nina fell asleep. He’d been in much worse positions when he fell asleep, but he’d never had a woman in his bed.
Zeke’s dream was a good one. A great one. Nina was there, her hand draped over his middle. Her gray-green eyes were full of desire, her body lush and full and ready for him.
Zeke plucked one nipple, watching her face for a reaction.
She closed her eyes and moaned softly. “More.”
He was more than happy to comply. He brushed his thumb over her nipple, the peak pressing into the cotton top she wore.
She hooked a leg around his hip, rubbing herself on his erection.
“Fuck,” he growled.
“Please,” she begged.
Zeke yanked her shirt up, giving himself access to her breasts. He twisted both of them, loving the way her body bowed to him with the move. He buried his face between her full breasts, then licked his way up her chest, nibbling her throat, and claimed her mouth.
Hands full of breasts, mouth full of Nina’s tongue, and her thighs parted and welcoming his throbbing erection was Zeke’s version of heaven. He squeezed his hands, and she bit his tongue.
His eyes snapped open.
Nina was right there. Kissing him back. Writhing against him. Her bare breasts in his hands. Her legs wrapped around him.
Zeke jumped out of bed so fast Nina almost fell.
She caught herself on the edge and looked up at him.
“Fuck,” Zeke barked. He spun and went to the bathroom, locking himself in.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell is wrong with me?” he hissed as he paced the bathroom.
It was nowhere near the first dream he had about Nina, but it was the first one that came true.
He manhandled her. Took advantage of her. He would have done more if she hadn’t bit him and woke him up.
He shook his head. Did she wake him up? Or did he know it was real and want to pretend for another minute?
He was such an asshole.
An asshole with a hard-on that was not getting the message that Nina Rose was far off-limits. So far she wasn’t even in the same country.
Her knock was soft, like she was afraid to interrupt him. “Zeke?”
He closed his eyes. He was acting like he was wronged, locking himself in the bathroom. He should have sent her in there. Let her know she was safe from him. Let her decide to be around him.
The thought finally calmed his erection and brought shame to his entire body. He unlocked the door and opened it, stepping back to show her he wouldn’t attack her again.
“Nina, I can never apologize enough for that. I’m an asshole and I am so sorry I touched you. You can tell Mont what happened so he can kick my ass. I deserve it.”
“Zeke,” she said, moving closer.
Zeke backed up, holding up his hands.
She stopped.
“Don’t try to make me feel better, Nina. I… There’s no excuse for what I did.”
“You weren’t alone in that bed, Zeke.”
He nodded. “I know. I know. I’ve never shared a bed with a woman, and I thought it was a dream. I?—”
“You dream about me?” Nina asked.
Zeke stared at her, his mouth open to argue, but he couldn’t lie to her. No reply was better than telling the truth.
“I would dream about you,” Nina whispered. “About you showing up one day and getting me out of there. About you… and me.”
“Nina.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I know all the men I slept with only did it because they were paying. It wasn’t about me.”
“All those men were garbage, and you deserved better. You deserve better than me. Better than being pawed in your sleep and treated like you don’t matter.”
“I wasn’t asleep,” she whispered.
Zeke’s gaze snapped to hers, and his cock swelled with her admission. “What?”
She swallowed. “Not the whole time. At first, I was, but not the whole time. Not at the end.”
Her admission hung in the air between them. Zeke didn’t know what to do with it. If he acted on it, Montgomery would hate him forever. Nina was barely home. She’d been through hell. She needed therapy and time and to find normal.
“But that wasn’t how it was for you.” She nodded and took a step back. “So I guess that makes me the one who took advantage of you.”
“Nina.”
“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, Zeke. I… God, I had such a crush on you when I was a teenager. I always wished you would notice me. There were times I would pretend I was having sex with you. That you were the one there for me. That you saw me and realized you loved me and couldn’t resist me.” She exhaled a long breath. “I was foolish, and it was dumb, and so was thinking you wanted me.”
“Jesus, Nina, you’re an idiot if you think I don’t want you.”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it.”
“I shouldn’t want you. Twelve years ago, you were too young. And now you’re…”
“Damaged goods.”
“No,” he breathed. He took a step toward her, cupping her jaw and spearing his other hand into her hair. He tilted her head back until she met his gaze. “You’re so strong. And you’re so brave. And I’m so not worthy of you.”
“You save people. You saved me. How could you ever think you’re not worthy of anything?”
Zeke exhaled and leaned his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and breathed her in, letting himself toy with the idea of her being his. It was the only thing he’d ever wanted. He never dared think it could be true, but his entire body ached with the hope it could be.
“Nina,” he whispered.
“Zeke,” she replied.
He tilted his head and brought his lips closer to hers. Her breath fanned over his cheeks. Her fingers curled against his chest. The moment hung between them, time standing still as he waited for her to choose.
She lifted onto her toes, reaching for him and bringing her lips into contact with his. Her hands went around his waist, pulling her body into contact with his from chest to hips.
She let out a sigh full of desire and peace, and he answered with a growl, licking her lips and requesting access.
She opened for him and moaned when he thrust his tongue into her mouth.
“Zeke! Nina! You here?” Montgomery’s voice came from downstairs.
Zeke pulled back but didn’t let go of Nina. He exhaled slowly, staring into her eyes. “Your brother’s timing sucks.”
Nina giggled. “Yes, it does.”
“You guys up?” Montgomery called, his footsteps on the stairs.
“You go see him. I need a minute,” Zeke said, pushing her toward the door.
“Why me? He’s your best friend.”
Zeke gestured to the erection pressing against his shorts. The very obvious erection that Montgomery definitely would not miss.
“Oh,” Nina said, her gaze locked on it.
His dick twitched. “Go. Now.” Zeke laughed and pushed her closer to the door. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Tease,” she whispered.
Zeke chuckled and closed himself in the bathroom. He listened at the door for her and Montgomery to leave, a smile on his face.
“Monty. What are you doing here?” Nina asked as she opened the bedroom door.
Monty looked her up and down, then looked past her into the bedroom. “Did you both sleep in there?”
Nina nodded. “After yesterday… I didn’t want to be alone.”
Monty stared at the disheveled bed and even more disheveled Nina.
She waited for him to call her on it. She didn’t lie, she just didn’t tell the full truth. That if he’d shown up an hour later, she would have known what it was like for a man to truly want her.
Monty pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. “As long as you’re feeling better.”
Nina nodded against his chest. “I am. Thanks for having dinner with me last night. Do you guys have to work today?”
Monty shook his head. “Nope. I thought maybe we could do something together.”
“Just you and me?” Nina asked.
“I was thinking all three of us, but if you’re ready to be away from Zeke, we can get out of here.”
Nina laughed softly and shook her head. “No, I’m good with all three of us. But we just got up. He was about to get in the shower and I was still half-asleep when I heard your voice.”
“That’s why it took you so long to answer.” Monty nodded as if it all made sense.
And not that she was wrapped around his best friend and ready to reclaim sex for herself. “Yep.”
Monty shook his head. “You were always a pain in the ass in the morning.”
“Glad some things haven’t changed. Let’s get food. Do you know how to cook?”
“Not as well as Zeke, but I can fix coffee and bagels.”
Nina snorted. “Well, it’s more than I know how to do, so I can’t say too much.”
“You’ll learn, sis. And you’ll get your life back. We will always be here for you.”
“That’s the best news ever,” Nina said.
Nina closed the bedroom door so Zeke had privacy when he was getting dressed, and Monty led the way down the stairs.
Monty was clearly comfortable in Zeke’s house, making coffee without having to search for it. When that was going, Monty grabbed eggs and bacon from the fridge and popped a bagel in the toaster.
Nina watched him move around the kitchen and knew Monty was selling his skills short. He cracked six eggs into a pan and seasoned them before putting bacon on a cookie sheet and sliding it into the oven.
“You liar. You know how to cook,” Nina said.
Monty flashed her a grin. “I used to cook for us before… Don’t you remember?”
Nina had forgotten a lot about her life before. Self-preservation required it. But with his reminder, she saw the breakfast-for-dinner nights Monty would lead. “I’d forgotten about that. Waffles and eggs and bacon.”
“Every Saturday night,” Monty said.
“We should do that again.”
Monty looked at her and smiled. He nodded. “Good idea.”
“What’s a good idea?” Zeke asked, appearing on the stairs with wet hair, wearing a clean gray tee and dark jeans. His tattoos were on display, decorating his skin and tempting her in a way she hadn’t allowed herself to be before she knew she wasn’t the only one fighting it.
“Breakfast nights on Saturday night,” Monty answered without turning around.
“That is a good idea,” Zeke said, walking over to Nina. “Stop staring or I’ll need another shower,” he whispered so only she could hear.
Nina smirked at him and let herself have one more good look.
“So what’s up, Mont? It’s early for you to be here,” Zeke said, moving away from Nina.
She chuckled to herself and decided spending the day with Zeke and Monty was going to be fun. So much fun.