Chapter 9
9
Nina smiled as she walked into Zeke’s house with Monty and Zeke right behind her. It was the perfect day. A day for her to remember who she was. For her to feel like she wasn’t so broken anymore.
Nina turned to face her protectors. “That was amazing. Thank you both for taking me there.”
Monty shook his head and pointed at Zeke. “It was all him. I was clueless, but he came up with it. Said he remembered you liked carousels.”
“I did. I do. Thank you.” Nina’s gaze slammed into Zeke’s. The look in his eyes stole her breath and made her eager for her brother to get the hell out so she could figure out what that expression meant.
Zeke had been staring at her all day with different looks, but the latest one sent a shiver up her spine. A good kind of shiver. The kind of shiver that said the man giving her the look was thinking all kinds of sexy thoughts that involved her.
Nina never found those looks all that appealing. She had a purpose for Gwendolyn, and that purpose was to make men want her. Without that trap, that requirement, being desirable felt foreign and awkward to Nina. She didn’t know how to appeal to a man.
But with Zeke, it wasn’t so challenging.
“You guys up for dinner?” Monty asked, heading to the kitchen.
They’d stopped at a diner after the beach, then wandered around for a while and went back to the carousel for a few more rides before they headed home.
Home. Nina smiled at the word. She hadn’t had that in so long. It was nice to think Zeke’s house, and Monty’s, could be that for her.
Temporarily, of course. Zeke would get tired of her being in his space, and Monty would want his life back, too. She would have to be on her own at some point, but not yet.
“I’m up for anything,” Zeke said, surprising Nina.
She thought for sure he’d be ready to kick Monty out so they could be alone together. Maybe she read the day, and all his looks, wrong.
“Do you have anything good in here?” Monty asked, searching Zeke’s freezer.
“Not much. I haven’t gotten to the store in a few days.”
Nina flushed with guilt. Zeke was putting his life on hold for her, to the point he didn’t have food.
“I have some chicken and a few bags of vegetables. Let me go grab some stuff. I’ll be right back,” Monty said, already heading for the door.
“Thanks, man,” Zeke said, waving as Monty left.
Nina opened her mouth to say something to Zeke, but he turned to her with one of those looks that made her mouth dry, and other parts of her not even close to dry.
“I don’t know where the lines are here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you when he’s here. What I do know is I’m barely keeping my shit together right now and I can’t wait until he leaves so I can kiss you again.”
Nina’s smile was immediate and genuine. “I was starting to worry you wanted him as a buffer.”
Zeke’s head shook slowly, his gaze running over her body just as slowly. “No.”
Nina breathed a husky sound, a sound she was sure she’d never made before in her life.
“I can’t wait to hear what sounds you make when I get my hands on you.”
Nina moaned and clenched her thighs together.
The front door opened before she could say anything. Monty held up a package of chicken and a frozen bag of mixed vegetables. “Dinner.”
Nina smiled at her brother, wondering how quickly she could get him to leave.
Zeke made a noise in the back of his throat that was part laugh and part growl and all sexy. “Thanks, Mont. We wouldn’t have known what to do without you.”
Monty flipped Zeke off. “You’re such an ass.”
Zeke grinned. “Yep.”
Monty chuckled, and Nina knew it wasn’t the first time the two of them had done something similar.
Their friendship was on display every minute she spent with them. Living next door to each other. Working together. Being comfortable in each other’s spaces, to the point where they had keys to each other’s homes. They were brothers in every sense. Family.
And she was threatening that. Her presence was threatening that. The way she wanted Zeke was threatening that.
“I’ll be right back,” she whispered, heading toward the stairs.
Both men mumbled something as she walked up the stairs, neither paying much attention to her.
Nina made it into Zeke’s bedroom and to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her. She’d spent years being watched every minute of the day and having the option to walk away and be alone was odd. Like she was doing something wrong.
Was she doing something wrong with Zeke? The way he touched her that morning made it seem as though he wasn’t feeling pressured into it. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. She could feel it in his touch and see it in the way he looked at her. He even said it just a few minutes earlier downstairs.
But she couldn’t shake that she was a danger to more than just his safety.
If Gwendolyn found out where Nina was, she’d kill Zeke without a second thought. She’d kill Montgomery, too. She’d kill anyone in her path to get what she wanted.
Did she want Nina back? Did she care that she left?
A sharp pang had her clutching her chest. Tears flooded her eyes.
Nina wanted Gwendolyn to miss her. To want her back.
A tear rolled down her cheek, and Nina let it fall. She hated Gwendolyn. But Gwendolyn was the only person Nina had for twelve years. She was the one Gwendolyn turned to. What did it mean if she was dismissed without a thought?
Nina hated that she wondered. She hated that Gwendolyn still had power over her. Power that kept her tied to the woman who ruined her life.
Nina squeezed her eyes shut and pushed out the tears. She brought the anger to the front and reminded herself of the abuse. Nina touched her throat, the sting of her bruises making her gasp.
Gwendolyn did that. Without a care in the world for Nina. Gwendolyn would have killed her if she didn’t have a reason to keep Nina around. It happened often.
There was no love there. Gwendolyn didn’t know how to love. She knew how to hate, and that was the lesson Nina needed to hold on to. She would need it if she ever faced Gwendolyn again.
Because if she was ever in the same room as Gwendolyn again, they wouldn’t both walk out. Nina had to make sure of that.
“You think she’s okay?” Zeke asked Montgomery when Nina rushed up the stairs.
“Nina? Yeah, why?” Montgomery continued cutting up the chicken, oblivious to his sister’s emotions.
“She was upset. She ran out of here like she used to when we would talk about girls when we were younger.”
Montgomery snorted. “She was jealous because she wasn’t getting dates and we were talking about girls we were screwing. She’s not a kid anymore. Fuck.” Montgomery sobered with his last thought, running a hand over his face. “I can’t believe it’s been twelve years.”
Zeke nodded. “Yeah.”
Montgomery looked at the stairs. “Should I go talk to her?”
Zeke shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“I hate this. She feels like a stranger, but she’s not. She’s still Nina, but she’s not the Nina we remember.”
“There are some things that haven’t changed,” Zeke said.
Montgomery chuckled. “Yeah. She still loves carousels. And the beach. And food. Some of the women are so thin… Some of them were so sick when we found them, we weren’t sure they would survive.”
“But they are. We’re taking care of them, and they’re going to get the help they need. Far away from Gwendolyn Lennox.”
“What are you talking about?” Nina asked, her voice shaky and scared.
Zeke and Montgomery turned to face her together. Zeke hadn’t heard her come down the stairs, and judging by Mont’s face, he didn’t either.
Mont exchanged a look with Zeke, but Zeke didn’t know what they should tell her either.
“Some of them are okay? They’re alive?” Nina asked.
Zeke nodded.
“And you’re protecting them?” she asked Montgomery.
Mont inhaled and moved toward her. He guided her to the couch, leaving Zeke to finish dinner.
Zeke picked up the knife and drew it through the piece of chicken as Montgomery explained what was going on to Nina.
“We agreed to help out with some of the women who were in the first house that was raided. Some went to rehab, but some were okay without it. But all the women are being watched.”
“By your company?”
“Not all, but some, yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Can I see them?” Nina’s voice was small with hurt.
Zeke looked at the siblings on his couch, a sight he never dreamed he’d get to witness. Even with the pain in her voice, he knew they made the right decision to keep the truth from Nina.
“We have to keep them safe. It’s our job to make sure Gwendolyn can’t get to them. Or any of her people.”
Nina jumped to her feet. “And you think I could be one of her spies? That I came here to get information from you to bring back to her? That I would betray my own brother, my family, for her?”
“No, I never thought that. Until you just asked that question, it was never a consideration for me.”
“But now it is.” Nina scoffed. “How could you Monty? How could you think that of me?”
“I don’t,” Montgomery said calmly. “But it’s my job to keep you safe, too.”
“What… what do you mean?”
“What you told Lorelei yesterday… Everything you shared was very clinical. You told her about locations and things you witnessed, but you didn’t talk much about what you’d been through. About the things you had to do.”
“You want to know?” she cried, turning on him.
Zeke abandoned his knife and moved toward the edge of the kitchen in case he needed to step in.
Mont shook his head, a signal for Zeke to stand down, but Zeke wasn’t returning to his task until he knew things were okay.
“I only want to know what you want to tell me,” Mont said to Nina.
Nina laughed mirthlessly. “You want to know about getting drugged and raped? About the times when I couldn’t even clean up between men? Or maybe about the infections I got or the time I was forced into stirrups for an abortion? You want to know about all the joyful experiences I had?”
Zeke’s gut twisted with every word. His hands tightened into fists. He was going to vomit.
“Fuck,” Montgomery whispered.
Nina slashed her hand across her cheek to remove her tears.
Zeke wanted to go to her, to pull her into his arms and hold her until it was all a distant memory. Until Gwendolyn and every man who dared touch Nina were dead. Until Nina was healed forever.
“Is that what you wanted to know, big brother? Does that convince you that I’m not going back to her? That I’m not spying on you for her? Because she’d already be dead if she had a weapon in her bedroom. The night I left, I promised myself I’d kill her. I promised myself she wouldn’t live to hurt others.”
“Nina.” Montgomery stood and reached for her, but she spun away from him.
“Don’t. Just… don’t. If you don’t trust me, then I shouldn’t be here.” Nina moved toward the door, but Zeke was faster.
He blocked her escape, crossing his arms and scowling at her.
“Please move.”
“You know I can’t do that, Nina. I’m not letting you go.”
“You know who you sound like, right?” she snarled.
Zeke took the blow. It was a good hit, intended to get him to move. He swallowed the pain and stared her down. “I love you, Nina Marie Rose. So does your brother. We are here to keep you safe. And that’s what we’re going to do. Even if we’re keeping you safe from yourself.”
“You two haven’t changed!” She threw her hands up and tossed a glare at Zeke before throwing one at her brother. “You think you know what’s best for me. You lie to me, then tell me it’s for my own good. You refuse to let me do what I think is right, then say it’s to keep me safe.”
Zeke stepped forward, getting closer to Nina. “No. Right now, this isn’t for your own good. It’s for mine because the last time you walked out of a house past me, the last time every instinct of mine said not to let you go, I let you go. And I lost a dozen years with you, Nina. I’ve hated myself for that choice, and I still hate myself. Your confession about what you’ve been through only reminds me that I fucked up. That I am the reason you went through all of that. It tells me that if I move to the side and let you walk away, I’ll never see this beautiful face of yours. Not alive. The thought of finding your dead body haunted me for twelve years. I’ve seen you in my nightmares more times than I can count. And having you here and letting you hate me is better. It will always be better. So you can hate me. You can refuse to ever speak to me again. But there’s no fucking way I’m letting you out that damn door ever again. So sit your ass down and get the hell over it.”
“Zeke,” Nina whispered. She lifted her hand to his cheek.
He nuzzled against her. “Please don’t leave.”
Nina nodded. “Okay.”
“Oh, thank God,” Montgomery breathed from the living room.
Zeke swallowed roughly. He’d forgotten about Montgomery. All the things he said to Nina… He meant every word, but he didn’t mean to say it all in front of Montgomery.
Nina let her hand fall from Zeke’s jaw and took a step back. She held his gaze for another moment, then turned to join her brother in the living room again.
Zeke waited a minute, then resumed his duties in the kitchen. The motions were repetitive and soothing with his emotions raw and exposed, like he’d peeled his skin off and had to live without the protection it provided.
Nina pleaded with Montgomery to let her see some of the women Rose Protection Agency was keeping safe. Montgomery’s excuses were fading with Zeke’s ability to keep himself under control. When his friend agreed to let Nina see one or two of the women, Zeke bit down on the inside of his lip until he tasted blood.
He wanted to keep her away from that world. Away from the others who’d been through what she went through. He wanted her safe.
“Hey, Mont. Watch this for a minute, will you?” Zeke called as he headed toward the garage.
“Yeah. You okay?”
“Just forgot something in the SUV. I’ll be right back.” Zeke left the house before either of them asked anything else.
Zeke wanted a minute. He needed it. He walked around the side of his SUV and opened the front door. He climbed in and closed the door, waiting until the interior lights faded to black once more.
Zeke pinched the bridge of his nose and let all his emotions leak out. Slowly. He couldn’t lose it with Mont right on the other side of the wall, but he had to mourn for Nina. For the life that was stolen from her. The life she could have had if he’d been strong enough to say no to her.
Love made him weak back then. It made him unable to challenge her. She didn’t walk all over him, he led her that way. He was young and foolish and thought giving her what she wanted was the way to get her to love him.
He learned that wasn’t the case. It was never the case. Love meant being there for people no matter what. It meant being willing to sacrifice yourself for them. It meant putting them first, and knowing they would do the same for you.
Montgomery was the only person who’d ever done that for Zeke. His brother. His best friend. His boss.
And now they had Nina back. They would both do anything for her. But letting her go, knowing she wanted to, put a fear in Zeke that he couldn’t shake. He had to make sure she didn’t leave. She couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t survive if she left again.
Even if that did make him just as bad as Gwendolyn Lennox.