Chapter 38 Eva
EVA
“They’ll be here soon,” Grace announces, running down the steps toward the open-plan kitchen of the Etheridge beach house in Sandbanks, Dorset.
It’s the only place in England, outside of London, where I knew I’d be able to land without any issues.
On our private helipad. This was only my second solo flight, and I’m glad I had the adrenaline to keep me going.
Landing was easy; I have done it many times.
The walk to the beach house, not so much.
Even with Caden and Grace helping me, it was pure torture for my feet, my soles crying with every step.
“Ouch. Careful,” I complain as Caden picks another splinter out of my foot.
“Then stay still,” he mutters.
“Are they bringing shoes?” I ask Grace, who nods with a smile. “Flat ones?”
“Yes, two pairs. And tons of food,” she adds to Caden. “Although I’m still sick from the flight.” She presses her stomach. “Thanks for not killing us, by the way.”
“Anytime,” I murmur, staring at my foot as Caden grabs a bandage from the first-aid kit and wraps it around my foot. I still can’t quite look her in the eye.
“I can’t believe I let someone who got a dangerous on her driving test fly me.” Caden chuckles, shaking his head.
“Only the first time.” I roll my eyes. “I passed the second time around. And flying is ten times easier. There is no parallel parking or narrow country lanes with two-way traffic.”
“Okay, no more flying talk,” Grace complains. “I’m going to throw up again.”
Grace filled me in on the details of her kidnapping. Every word was a hit to the chest. I still can’t believe that happened. I was in the dark for so long, completely oblivious to the pain my friend was in because of me. The thought punctures holes inside my soul. I owe her for life. And then some.
Her phone rings in her hand, lips pursing when she looks at the screen.
“If that’s Daniel, hang up,” I bark.
“It’s not.” She holds it up.
Elton Etheridge.
“Hang up,” I tell Grace. I’m not ready to speak to anyone. Not until I straighten every thread of my tangled memories.
Grace cancels the call, then glances at me, slightly concerned.
“I want to see the video,” I announce. “And yes, I overheard you and Dan,” I add to Grace. Her eyes widen.
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Grace mutters, lips quivering to find the right words to stop me. But no one is convincing me otherwise.
“I don’t care. I want to see it,” I insist, forcing my voice to hold steady even as my eyes threaten to spill.
Caden draws his laptop out of his bag, then works his keyboard, as Grace fidgets next to me. Then he slides it my way, watching with narrowed eyes.
“I’ll be in the lounge if you need me.” He gives me a knowing look, then walks away hesitantly.
Grace stays rooted beside me.
“I’ll be fine.” I manage a small smile. Her mouth opens once, then she bites her lip. “What?”
“You should know. The reason you were all there that night.” She glances at the laptop as if it were a hot plate. “It’s my fault.”
“What are you talking about?”
“They never found out who it was. I was… struggling,” she mutters, and my chest caves. “I told Uncle Rick about it, but I had no idea he would go to such lengths searching for…”
“Okay, stop right there.” I hold my palm up. “If anyone is completely faultless in any of this, it’s you. Dad would have gone to hell and back looking for answers either way, you know that.”
Grace half-smiles, then glances at the laptop again. “I’ll give you ten minutes, then I’m coming back to check on you, okay?”
I nod and give her a reassuring smile.
With another nervous look at me, Grace joins Caden, and finally, I have the private moment I desperately needed.
Reluctant to look at the black screen, my eyes wander over the seating area and the dining table, then settle on the glass wall overlooking the sandy beach, glowing with the sunset as the tide rolls in.
I have so many memories here with Mum, Dad, Dan, and Grandpa.
But none of them trigger the one I need right now.
Why is it that they have hammered me like drums all this time, and now that I want to remember, I can’t? I tried to focus on my parents’ faces, replaying the parts of the accident I remember with clarity, my mind churning through the cycle, again and again. But I can’t place that voice.
My eyes flash back to the blank screen, hoping this will do the trick. My finger shakes so much; it takes me a while to hit enter.
The screen lights up, the video rolls, and everything inside me cracks.
It’s like my mind has been raided, my worst nightmare stolen and thrown on display, while I sit here, forcing myself to stare at the most agonizing night of my life—desperate for answers I should already know.
And yet the only missing piece keeps evading me.
How does Dan do this? Knowing what he does without knowing who it was? Only a few hours, and I’m already splintering.
“Fuck.” I pull the laptop shut, a scream building inside me with nowhere to go.
I was so sure that if I left Fort, returned to the environment everyone has been shielding me from, it would all come back to me.
Mason’s tortured face flashes in front of me.
I hurt him today.
Not because I used him or threatened him, or because I shot his friend. Because I left. That man will forgive me for anything, protect me from everything, and will cross every line, which apparently includes deceiving me.
It’s my fault.
He told me not to expect a grain of morality from him. That I will be disappointed. But a girl can dream.
Part of me still wants to rewind time and go back to the moment when I didn’t know the true horrors of my life. The happiest days of my life were in his arms, his…
Chest. Scars. Words. Dream. Mason. Dad. Blood. Glass. Bang.
My vision tunnels, ears ring, but I ground myself in reality. I clutch the edge of the island so tight my skin gives way as the last missing piece of the puzzle clicks in.
Ping.
The doorbell rings.
My head snaps to the front door.
Every nerve in my body electrifies as I run to the lounge on my battered feet, images flashing through my brain.
“Close your eyes, Bean.” Dad’s voice is strangled as he grabs my hand, watching the man who’s hovering over my mother’s lifeless body. “No matter what, do not make a sound. You understand?”
“Dad… what?”
“Bean,” Dad scolds, beckons, begs, gripping my hand with failing strength. “Please. Swear to me, you’ll stay quiet.”
I did. I kept my eyes shut, holding Dad’s hand clutched in mine as the man walked over to the side of the car. I swallowed the scream when I heard the gunshot that tore open my world, not letting a sound escape. Not even when Dad’s hand shook in mine, then went still.
I didn’t see that man. But I heard him. Two words in a voice I recognize far too well but couldn’t place until now.
“Grace, don’t!” I yell across the room, but she’s already opening the front door, and it’s too late.
Jonathan walks in, followed by Jack.
“Hey, Eva.” Jonathan smiles, draping an arm around his daughter.
“Everything okay, kid?” Jack steps forward, taking in my expression.
“What’s wrong?” Grace asks when I don’t respond.
I can’t. I stare at them, eyes wide, lips trembling in soundless words. Caden comes to my side, studying my face.
“Nothing.” I force a smile, convincing no one as I continue to shake from head to toe.
They can see it on my face. All of them.
Then it happens quickly—
Grace stiffens.
Caden pulls me behind him.
Jonathan drops to the floor at Grace’s feet, tasered.
And I’m left staring at the man who killed my parents, braced with his weapon.
The man assigned to protect me.
And yet the only thing I can see is the two Latin words inscribed on his cufflinks.
Memento Mori.