Chapter Six
Alannah, Age Seventeen
I sit on the edge of the bed and fasten the straps on my heels, my fingers a little clumsy with nerves. When I stand, I walk over to the mirror and smooth my hands down my skirt, then catch myself and lift them away, worried I’ll crease the fabric.
Ronin had stopped by this morning out of the blue to tell me he was taking me out tonight. He didn’t stay long, but just before he left, he leaned in, kissed my cheek, and murmured, “Wear something nice.” And I’ve been a wreck ever since.
All day, I’ve been wondering where he’s taking me.
We’ve gone to nice places before, but the way Ronin told me to wear something nice made me think something a little extra was called for.
After he left, I worked myself into such a state that I went through my whole wardrobe, trying on one dress after another until my bed was covered with nearly everything I owned. And still, nothing felt quite right.
Mam came into my room and found me going back through the pile, holding up a dress I’d already decided against, trying to convince myself it might work after all. She looked from me to the dresses strewn across the bed. “What on earth happened in here?” she asked.
“Ronin’s taking me out tonight,” I cried. “He told me to wear something nice, and I haven’t got a thing to wear.”
Mam laughed and took the dress from my hands. “Well, as it happens, your father is taking me out to dinner tonight too, so maybe we both need something nice to wear.”
By noon, Mam and I were in town, and with her help, I chose this sky-blue dress with a fitted bodice and full skirt.
Now, standing here turning from side to side in front of the mirror, I keep checking that the soft waves in my hair are still holding and that the seams on my stockings are perfectly straight. I can barely stand still.
I move to my vanity and reach for my small clutch, wanting to make sure I have my favourite rose-coloured gloss and a few extra bobby pins. My eyes land on the letter from Grandda that arrived yesterday. I pick it up, scanning his neat handwriting once more.
We write to one another often. I miss him—and Grandmam—terribly. I haven’t seen them since we left Ireland five years ago, not since things went sour between my da and Grandda over us leaving. The letters help me feel close to them still, like there’s still a thread connecting me to home.
He writes that he’s glad I’m happy. That when my father first told him about the match he made with Cormac, he had lain awake a night or two afterward, worrying over me—wondering whether I’d be bound to someone who didn’t know my worth, or wouldn’t treat me with the care I deserved.
What eases my mind now is hearing that the lad your father chose seems to be making you happy. I’m glad Ronin is turning out to be a good match for you and that you seem content with him.
My eyes drift to the bottom of the page, where his writing grows a little heavier.
You always did shine when you felt safe, he writes. Just remember, shine or no, you’re never without a place to land. There will always be room for you here.
Then, like he does in every letter, he reminds me again about the small book of names and numbers he pressed into my hand before I left Ireland, and about the bank account he set up for me then—the one that’s mine alone.
For if you ever need it. And I pray you never do.
I set the letter back down on the vanity. The blank sheet of stationery beside it can wait until tomorrow.
All I can think about right now is tonight.
Mam knocks lightly on the door before opening it. “You about ready, Lana? Ronin just got here.”
She steps inside, already dressed for her evening out with Da. “You look lovely, Lana,” she says. “Ronin won’t know what to do with himself.”
“Thank you, Mam,” I say, smiling at her. “You look really nice too.”
She pats my cheek. “Go on,” she says. “Wouldn’t want to keep Ronin waiting.”
I take one last steadying breath before I head downstairs. When I reach the bottom, Ronin is in the front hall, speaking quietly with Da. He looks up at me, his eyes taking me in before he gives me that smile, the one that always makes my heart trip all over itself.
He claps Da on the shoulder and starts toward me, and for a second, all I can think is how handsome he looks.
He’s wearing a charcoal grey suit that fits perfectly across his broad shoulders, with a crisp white shirt underneath and a deep navy tie, my favourite on him because it brings out the bright green of his eyes.
His dark hair is freshly cut and combed back.
“You look beautiful,” he says.
I duck my head, heat rising in my cheeks. “You told me to wear something nice.”
“So I did,” he murmurs, and pulls me close. His arms come around me, and the familiar scent of leather and cedarwood surrounds me, the English Leather cologne I gave him last Christmas.
When he lets me go, he reaches for my coat from the hook by the door and holds it open for me. I slide my arms into the sleeves, still feeling the warmth of him as he eases it over my shoulders. I say a quick goodbye to Mam and Da, then Ronin takes my hand and walks me out to the car.
He opens my door for me, but before I get in, I look up at him. “Can I at least have a hint where we’re going?”
He shakes his head, a playful look in his eyes. “No hints, doll. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Even though it isn’t an answer, I give in and slide into my seat. He shuts the door for me and goes around to his side. Soon, the Cadillac is cruising through the streets with the radio on low. Ronin hums along every so often, relaxed behind the wheel. I like watching him like this.
At a stoplight, he turns his head and catches me looking at him.
A small smile tugs at his mouth. He reaches over, finds my hand in my lap, and lifts it to his lips, kissing the back of it.
He lets go as the light changes and turns back to the road, but I can still feel the warmth of his mouth on my skin.
When he turns onto the street and the restaurant comes into view, my stomach gives an excited little flip. I recognize it before he even pulls to the curb. It’s the same place he took me on our first date, and I wonder if he remembers. If he chose it on purpose.
He parks and comes around to help me out of the car.
As soon as my feet are on the sidewalk, he pulls me gently against him.
His hand comes to my cheek, and I look up, caught in those green eyes of his, the ones that always make me think of home.
He looks at me like I’m the only thing he sees, and when he does, I can almost forget this started as something our families planned for us.
It doesn’t feel arranged anymore. Not when he looks at me like that.
Then he dips his head and kisses me, his lips soft on mine.
It’s only a quick kiss, but I know he wouldn’t let it become anything more out here, not with people passing by and the restaurant right there.
His arms come around me right after, holding me tight as he kisses the top of my head.
When he loosens his hold, he tucks my hand into the crook of his arm and guides me to the door, pulling it open for me.
Inside, the restaurant is dim and too quiet, without any of the sounds I remember from the last time Ronin brought me here. No one is waiting near the front to seat us, and I almost think the place is empty. Then a hushed murmur comes from the dining room, followed by a laugh I know at once.
Mam.
A sharp hush follows, and the laugh cuts off. My steps slow, but Ronin keeps us moving farther into the restaurant. When I look up at him, the corner of his mouth lifts like he’s trying not to smile.
As we step into the dining room, it doesn’t come together all at once.
I look around and see familiar faces, too many of them, all turned toward us.
Mam’s eyes are shining too brightly, her hand pressed over her mouth.
Da stands a little taller than usual, pride written all over him.
Eileen dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief, and Cormac stands beside her, watching us with a pleased look on his face.
Ronin doesn’t stop until we’re in the middle of the room. He turns to face me, the almost-smile gone now, and something about the way he looks at me makes the room seem to fall even quieter. “Ronin?” I start, but before I can say anything more, he lowers himself to one knee.
My breath catches as he looks up at me and takes my hand in his.
“Alannah,” he says quietly. “I’ve always cared about you.
From the moment you came into my life. At first, it was the kind of care that comes from knowing someone belongs close to you.
But over time, it changed. I found myself wanting to know you better.
Wanting your company. Your laughter. Your thoughts. ”
A faint smile touches his mouth. He reaches into his pocket and brings out a small velvet box, holding it between us.
“I know our marriage was arranged,” he says. “But it hasn’t felt like one for a long time now.”
His gaze holds mine. “You’re the woman I want to build my life with. You’re the one I choose.”
For a moment, I can only stare at him, helpless to look away. My mind is spinning, trying to catch up with what’s happening right in front of me.
“I don’t want our marriage to be something we simply get through,” he continues. “I want it to be something we share. Something we grow into together.”
Then he opens the box.
Inside is a simple gold Claddagh ring, delicate and bright against the dark velvet. He lifts it out, setting the box near his knee, and holds the ring out to me.
“For love, loyalty, and friendship,” he says. “Alannah, will you marry me?”
I’m already nodding before he even finishes the question. My throat feels too tight to speak at first. “Yes,” I manage. Then, because it still doesn’t feel like enough, I say it again, louder this time. “Yes.”
Applause breaks out around us, but it sounds far away. Ronin rises and slips the ring onto my finger, his hand shaking as he does it. Then he leans in and kisses me, and I feel his smile against mine. Everything else falls away until it’s only the two of us.
Then the room comes rushing back all at once, voices and movement pressing in as our families make their way toward us.
Cormac steps forward first and pulls me into a hug. “Congratulations,” he says, his voice full of pride. Then he turns to Ronin and claps him on the back. “You’ve done well, son.”
Mam comes over with Eileen right behind her, both of them crying. She wraps her arms around me tightly, her hands trembling against my back. Eileen takes my left hand and lifts it to look at the ring, smiling through her tears.
Glasses lift all around us. Then the first notes of “You Belong to Me” fill the room.
Ronin steps in. “I’m stealing my fiancée,” he says lightly. Both our mothers make a little fuss over the word, and Eileen lets me go with a tearful smile as he takes my hand.
He leads me toward the small makeshift dance floor and brings me close, one hand settling at my waist. As we begin to move, my eyes catch on the ring on my left hand—the Claddagh heart turned inward where it belongs.
Now everyone can see what I already knew: my heart belongs to Ronin.
I rise onto my toes and kiss him. When we part, tears fill my eyes. I try to blink them away, but a few slip free anyway.
Concern crosses his face. He leans in close, his voice low near my ear so I can hear him over the music. “Hey,” he says. “Are you all right?”
I smile up at him through the blur. “I’ve never been better.”
I glance around the room at all the faces turned toward us, at the people who came to celebrate this moment with us. When I look back at him, the words escape me quietly. “This is wonderful. I can’t believe you did all of this.”
He draws me closer, resting his forehead against mine. “Anything for you,” he murmurs.
As we sway together, the music carrying us, it finally sinks in. This isn’t something that was decided for us. It’s something we chose.
Right now, I don’t feel like I’m stepping into an arrangement.
I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.