Chapter Twenty-Seven
Alannah
I don’t remember moving. One moment I am looking at Ronin, hearing the bitterness in his voice as he throws those words at me—that I’m already looking for my next husband—and the next I am out the door and in the cold.
My boots crunch through the snow, and my breath clouds in front of me. It’s freezing, I know that, but I barely feel it.
A tightness starts to build in my chest. I can’t seem to get enough air in. What just happened in there? One minute he was saying he came here to fix things, to make it right if I’d let him… and the next he was throwing accusations at me like I was the one who ruined everything.
I don’t understand. I can’t make sense of any of it.
Behind me, I hear my name. “Alannah.”
I don’t stop. My feet keep moving through the snow. I just need to get away from the shed. Away from him.
“Jesus, Alannah, where’s your coat?” This time the voice is close, and when a hand closes around my arm, I finally stop. When I turn, Finn is there, his blond curls falling over his forehead, his coat buttoned to the throat.
“Finn,” I whisper, and my voice breaks on his name.
His eyes move over me, and his face tightens with worry. “What happened?”
I shake my head helplessly and look at him. “Finn—” I start, but a sob breaks loose before I can say more. Tears spill hot down my cheeks, turning cold in the wind, and I start to shake.
Finn swears under his breath and shrugs out of his jacket, settling it around my shoulders, heavy and warm. Then he takes my hand and turns me gently back toward the house. “Come on.”
I let him guide me, but the nearer we get, the more my chest tightens.
I can already picture the warmth of the kitchen, the questions I can’t answer, everyone seeing straight through me.
I catch at his arm and pull him to a stop.
“I’m not ready to go in there.” My voice comes out rough with tears.
I think of Grandmam’s face, and I just… I can’t.
“I can’t let her see me like this again. ”
His eyes soften, and he nods. “All right. Wait here. I’ll go get you a coat.” He turns and heads for the house, pushing through the door and disappearing inside.
I stay where I am, looking down at my boots in the snow. Almost without thinking, I rub my thumb over my bare ring finger.
For one foolish moment in that shed, I almost wanted to believe him when he said he wanted a chance to make things right. Almost let myself hope he meant it.
The nerve of him. A Claddagh is meant to stand for love, loyalty, and friendship, but what am I supposed to do with a ring like that now? Why would he care that I’m not wearing it when he’s the one who made it mean nothing in the first place?
The thud of the door has me looking up. Finn comes toward me with one of the hand-me-down coats I’d been given before I bought the one I left in the shed.
He helps me out of his jacket, then holds mine open for me.
I slip my arms into the sleeves, and he fastens the buttons while I stand there and let him.
Then I watch him pull his own coat back on.
When he’s done, Finn pulls me against him, his chin resting on top of my head as he holds me close. “Thank you,” I murmur.
“You’re welcome, Lannie.” He draws back enough to look at me. “What d’you need?”
I glance toward the house, then down the lane. “Could we just walk a bit?”
A small smile tugs at his mouth, bringing out the dimple in his cheek.
“Aye,” he says, offering me his arm. “Come on, then.” I slip my hand through it, and we head down the lane, the only sounds the crunch of snow under our boots and the growing roar of the sea.
When we reach the end of it, we sink down side by side on the wall, looking out at the water.
The light is beginning to fade, darkening the sea beneath the winter sky.
Beside me, Finn shifts, his shoulder brushing mine. “Your grandda asked me to stay near the shed while you were in there,” he says quietly. “Wanted someone close by for when you came out. Just in case you needed anything.”
I turn my head to look at him and find him already watching me. “I’m glad you were there, Finn.”
“You all right?” he asks quietly.
No… yes… I don’t know. It seems to change by the second. I look down at my hands, clenched together in my lap, and give a slow shake of my head.
I feel Finn’s hand find mine, warm against the cold. “Did he hurt you?”
I let out a breath that trembles on the way out. “Yes.” I keep my eyes on his hand over mine. “He said he came all this way to see me. To make it right.” My mouth twists. “And for a second, I thought…”
“What?” Finn asks softly.
Heat rises in my face, and I look back out at the water. “Nothing worth having thought.”
The wind lifts my hair and blows it across my cheek.
I lift my free hand and tuck it back with unsteady fingers.
“He admitted it,” I say. “Not only that woman. Others. More than one.” The words scrape on the way out.
“And then,” I say, my voice starting to shake again, “he noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring and accused me of already looking for my next husband.
” The words hang there between us, and I wish I could snatch them back the second they leave my mouth.
Shame burns through me at having said them out loud.
“I hate that he can still do this to me,” I say, my voice breaking anyway.
Finn goes still beside me, his hand tightening over mine. “I know.”
“I thought I was stronger than this.”
“You are.”
I press my lips together. “It doesn’t feel like it.”
“No,” he says quietly. “Lannie, you’re—”
The rest is cut off by the sickening crack of something striking bone. Finn pitches sideways off the wall and hits the frozen ground hard.
I’m on my feet before I even know I’ve moved. “Finn—” The scream barely gets out before a hand clamps over my mouth from behind. I thrash hard, trying to wrench free, trying to get to him, but Ronin is there, one arm locking around me as he hauls me back against him.
My eyes fly to Finn. He lies crumpled on the frozen ground beside the wall, and even in the fading light I can see the blood at his temple.
Panic tears through me. I fight harder, twisting against Ronin’s grip, trying to kick free.
“Finn,” I try to say against his hand. It comes out broken and useless.
“Time to go, Alannah,” Ronin mutters against my ear, already dragging me backwards.