39. Sophie
Istraighten the bouquet of light pink roses on my desk in my office. I smile as I breathe in the fragrant musk. Xander surprised me with these today before his game.
My stomach does a somersault at just how romantic my boyfriend is.
My boyfriend.
My cheeks ache, I’m smiling so wide. But I can’t help it. Xander really is the perfect boyfriend. He’s so thoughtful and sweet, funny, kind, doting, and a god in bed.
I still can’t believe we’re together for real now.
When he appears in the doorway of my office, I’m beaming.
“Hey. How did post-game press go?”
When he doesn’t answer right away, that’s when I notice how pale he is and how hard he’s breathing.
“Are you okay?”
He doesn’t say anything at first. He just stands there and stares at me, like he’s scared to even speak a word.
I stand up and walk over to him. “Xander, what’s wrong? Are you sick…”
When I grab his hand, he’s trembling. Worry slices through me as my doctor brain goes into overdrive.
He’s dazed and isn’t responding like he should…almost like he’s had a concussion.
“Are you injured? Did you hit your head?”
He says no, but nothing more.
I hug him. “You’re shaking.”
He nods but is still quiet. I let go of him and take his hand, then close the door to my office.
I look up at him, my heart racing. “Xander, talk to me,” I say gently.
He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. And then he presses his eyes shut and shakes his head.
“Something happened. Physically I’m okay, but…um…”
I squeeze his hand. “It’s okay. Take your time.”
He’s quiet again.
“Do you want to sit?” I ask.
He nods. I lead him to the chair in front of my desk. When he sits down, I grab my chair so I can sit next to him. I take his hand again.
He closes his eyes and lets out a shaky breath. “There’s a video online. Of me and a woman I dated a long time ago.”
“That’s okay.” I don’t understand why he’s so upset. He’s a famous athlete. There’s videos of him online with almost every woman he’s ever dated.
His eyebrows crash together as he looks at me. “No, it’s…Sophie, it’s a sex tape.”
“What?” My voice hitches up.
He tugs at the cap he’s wearing backwards on his head. “At post-game press, one of the reporters asked me about it. I was so confused…I had no idea what he was talking about. And then afterwards Alanna from PR came up to me and showed me the website where the video was leaked.”
All the color drains from Xander’s face as I process everything he’s saying.
“I saw the video…” he says.
His shoulders slump and the expression on his face turns pained. “I-I was nineteen. I had totally forgotten about it, it happened so long ago. I’d been drinking a lot that night. So had she. I forgot that she had recorded us…”
“Wait, so she released this video of you two having sex without your permission?” If she did that, that’s beyond fucked up. And illegal.
He shakes his head. “No. I mean, I don’t think Makenna would have done that…”
“Wait, Makenna Marley? The model?”
He nods.
“She’s mega famous. That would be so weird if she released a sex tape of you two after all this…wait, maybe she was hacked. Maybe some hacker found that video of you two and released it.”
He frowns slightly. He looks so lost. “Yeah, I guess that could have happened.”
I squeeze his hand in mine and kiss his cheek. “Xander, I’m so, so sorry this is happening to you.”
When I pull away, he looks at me like he’s surprised.
“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” he asks.
I lean back, shocked. “Why would I be mad at you?”
He swallows. “Because there’s a sex tape of me with another woman out there…” He says it so hesitantly, like he’s scared.
My chest aches. Xander is being victimized and he’s worried that I’d be angry with him.
I let go of his hand and cradle his face. “Listen to me. I’m not mad at you. The only person I’m mad at is whoever leaked this tape.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Xander, that person is a criminal. You’re the victim. And if it ends up that Makenna didn’t leak the video and that her phone was hacked, then she’s a victim too.”
He lets out a breath. He blinks and the focus starts to return to his gaze.
“Yeah. You’re right. I-I don’t know why I didn’t think about it that way.”
“It’s okay. This is a stressful and overwhelming situation. It’s impossible to think clearly when you’re going through something like this.”
He nods and glances off to the side, still looking dazed. He looks so stricken and broken, and my heart is aching seeing him like this.
I get up, stand between his legs, and hug my arms around his shoulders. He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes tight. I notice he’s not shaking anymore. I kiss his head.
“I’m here for you, Xander,” I whisper. “No matter what, I’m here for you.”
He hugs me tighter. “Thank you.”
We break apart and he looks up at me. “I love you so much.”
I lean down and kiss him softly. “I love you too.”
When I sit back down, he props his elbows on his knees and holds his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do. Alanna said she’ll help me sort this all out, but I just can’t focus…”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to do anything right now. What do you need?”
He lets out a breath. “Right now, I just want to go home with you.”
I kiss him again. “Let’s go.”