Chapter Fifteen #2
Dan tried his utmost to keep the bitterness from his voice.
‘I can guess from her final letter that my father basically informed her that if she returned to England, she would be branded a harlot and would bring shame on the family. That must have all but destroyed her.’ He paused, finding his voice constricted, but after a moment he carried on.
‘There were no letters after that. Perhaps she didn’t write anymore because she realised by then that there was no hope at all of a return.
I imagine that she stayed in Le Havre and maybe spent the remainder of her days near the harbourside there, watching every ship that set sail for England. ’
He saw tears shining in Kate’s eyes. This woman, he thought. How could he ever have imagined that he could live without her? Why, after that disastrous day at the races, hadn’t he begged her on his knees to forgive his many mistakes?
‘I am so very sorry,’ she was whispering. ‘How terrible for her, to die alone like that, in a foreign country.’
Her hand had strayed towards his, and he clasped it hard, gaining strength and an illusion of hope even.
‘It’s sad, yes,’ he said. ‘But those letters are proof that she loved us, Kate! She would have returned if she could. But she stayed away because my father warned her that she would bring continual disgrace on Oliver and myself.’
‘That may have been so, for a while. But many noble families have survived far worse, haven’t they? Your father must have been a harsh man, Dan.’
‘Indeed. And I fear I was set to follow exactly in his footsteps—until I met you.’
‘I’m not sure I understand.’ She spoke in little more than a whisper. ‘What are you saying?’
He held both of her hands in his now. ‘Kate,’ he said, ‘oh, Kate, I have a great deal to say to you—things I should have said far earlier. I should have told you, for example, that I spoke to Gascoyne that day at the races directly after you’d gone, and I warned him that if he said a single word about the wager, I would ruin his standing in Society.
His reputation is not good anyway, so just a few words from me could finish him off and he knows it.
He’s back in London now, and whenever he sees me, he practically grovels.
Besides, even if he should one day be mad or drunk enough to mention that incident, it will hold no weight whatsoever—because I’m hoping that by then, you might have agreed to be my wife. ’
She looked stunned. ‘But you always said that when you eventually married—as, of course, you must—you would let your choice be guided entirely by the appropriateness of your bride! Society expects you to choose a woman who matches you in rank and wealth, and I can offer you neither. Surely you realise that if you chose me as your wife, it would be the cause of bewilderment and even laughter?’
‘Listen.’ He took her hand and tenderly kissed it.
‘No one will laugh. You will be the talk of London, certainly, but that is because the Prince has returned to the capital and is telling everyone about the beautiful mystery lady I brought to his party at the Pavilion. Everyone wants to meet you, but I won’t let them.
’ Just a hint of a smile curled up the corners of his mouth.
‘Not, that is, until you promise to be my Countess.’
He stopped smiling then. His voice was still tender, but it was serious too.
‘You see, I’m a jealous man. I don’t want anyone else stealing you from me, and that’s why I’ve come here today.
I wanted to see the children enjoying themselves, of course—but it was chiefly because I heard you might be here.
’ He drew a deep breath as he prepared to ask the most important question of his life.
‘Kate Summerby, I love you. Will you do me the very great honour of agreeing to marry me?’
There was silence and for a moment Dan existed in a state of mental agony. He thought, I have left it too late. I have made too many mistakes, and I have destroyed any feelings she might have had for me.
But at last, she began to speak. She was ever the thoughtful one, his Kate, and each one of her words resonated with honesty and integrity.
She said, ‘You once told me that ever since your mother left and your damaged father closed his heart to his sons, you were incapable of love. How can I be sure you are capable of it now? Think, Dan. This is your whole future you are talking about.’
Dan spoke then as if his life depended on it, which it did in many ways.
‘I can remember when everything began to change for me. It happened one evening quite close to here, when a beautiful woman emerged like a woodland nymph from the trees that adjoined my garden. It didn’t take her long to begin scolding me roundly for my scandalous way of life—oh, yes, she did!
There’s no denying it!’ Smiling, he held up one hand to silence Kate’s protests.
‘And slowly, far too slowly, I began to realise that perhaps I had found at last what I didn’t even know I was looking for.
Someone to love. Someone to share my life and to have a family with one day. ’
She gazed up at him wonderingly, and as he waited for her reply, he knew that his whole life hung in the balance.
Then she said, with a little smile on her face, ‘Shall I tell you what I thought of you that first night? Of the words that sprang into my mind as you climbed out of the lake all dripping wet, in just your breeches?’
‘Dear God,’ he said, ‘perhaps you’d better not.’
She laughed, and it was perhaps the most delicious sound he’d ever heard. ‘I thought,’ she murmured, drawing closer to him and blushing quite charmingly, ‘that I had never seen such a glorious sight in all my life. I also suspected you must be hideously conceited, self-centred, arrogant—’
He groaned, putting one hand to his temple. ‘And?’
‘And I was wrong. Gradually, I realised that all your life you’d had to be strong, Dan, because not only had you received no love in your childhood, but you’d grown to mistrust the people who pursued you for your money and your rank.
Beneath all that, though, I could see that you were truly a good person. My aunt realised it as well.’
‘How on earth do you know?’
‘Because she told me so.’
He looked utterly mystified. ‘But she can’t have done. Thanks to your family, you had no contact with her!’
‘Ah, but she left messages for me, at Clematis Villa. Three of them, a bit like the treasure hunts she used to set up for me when I was little, leaving treats for me in my favourite places. The first was a note folded away in a book of hers that I used to love, basically telling me she was glad I was here. I think she guessed that all the letters she posted to me were not reaching me, and that she might never see me again. Quite possibly she knew by then that she was dying.’
Kate’s voice broke just a little but she carried on.
‘I found her second message when it fell out of that pink silk dress she’d made, it must have been long ago.
She’d written that she liked to think of me dancing in it at parties, and I shook my head, because I never had danced at a party and surely never would. But I was wrong.’
His arm was round her now and he gently kissed her forehead. ‘You were wrong, darling Kate. But you spoke about three messages.’
‘Yes, and I’ve only just realised where the third one is!
You see, in my bedroom there’s a sampler she must have sewn.
It hangs on the wall above my bed, with a sweet picture of a cottage and the words, Find Where Your Heart Belongs.
I always assumed that the message referred to my aunt’s love of Clematis Villa, but now I wonder if she hung it in that bedroom as another message to me.
Do you think she guessed, Dan, that you and I might meet? ’
‘I think she actually hoped we would meet. You see she asked me, shortly before she died, to be kind to you if our paths should cross.’
Silence fell until she said at last, very quietly, ‘You didn’t tell me that.’
‘No. I didn’t. And I’m very much afraid that I wasn’t kind to you. Not at first.’
He waited for her response, and it was like waiting for the executioner’s axe to fall on his hopes, his dreams. But then he saw her eyes sparkle in that familiar, gorgeous way and she laughed.
‘I don’t blame you for not being kind to me,’ she said, ‘because I was fairly rude to you, wasn’t I?
Well, you did present rather a challenge as a neighbour—but I know now, Dan where my heart belongs. It belongs to you.’
His heart was full as he put his arms around her and held her close. ‘You have suffered unkindnesses,’ he said quietly, ‘and you have borne them all with bravery and grace. Are you saying, Kate, that you love me in spite of all my mistakes?’
‘Oh, yes. I’ve loved you more with every argument we’ve ever had. Didn’t you realise?’
Lifting her by the waist, he kissed her quite deliciously, only for him to let her go on realising they were being watched carefully by a small girl standing nearby.
After a moment the little girl came up to Kate and handed her a sheet of paper.
‘I’ve drawn you another picture, Miss Summerby,’ she said shyly.
‘It’s a prince and princess in a fairy tale.
They are very happy, like you and this man. You are happy, miss, aren’t you?’
Dan watched as Kate bent down to hug her. ‘I am very happy, darling Jane. Off you go now to join the others, because I think it will be story time soon.’
‘I can see,’ Dan said, ‘that you’ve made a new friend.’
‘Lots of new friends.’ She nodded. ‘Truly lovely ones.’
He looked around. ‘I’ve asked you,’ he said, ‘if you will be my Countess, and I realise you’ll need time to think. I can see, for example, that you won’t want to leave this neighbourhood, will you?’
She hesitated. ‘I really love it here. And of course, you will wish to live in London.’
‘Not all the time.’