Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Penny
Soon the house is overrun with aunts, uncles and friends of friends who I haven’t seen for years.
The combination of sounds, scents and stress is giving me a headache.
Add to the fact that I’m still reeling from the moment of taking photos with Asher.
I sure called it. My mother is quick to remind me that most of my worth comes from settling down and finding a mate.
I should have spoken up then, but then she was saved by the bell and the strangers stomping through our home. They’re likely salivating for a family scandal. Did you hear, Meredith? Heather’s daughter ruined their Christmas party.
And Asher, gods, I don’t think I would have been able to stomach this holiday without him beside me.
I stare down at the hall table, decorated with LED candles and sprigs of plastic holly, where my mom had deposited all the framed photos from the mantel.
My siblings are front and center with Violet’s graduation photo, flanked by Hazel and Marigold’s respective wedding photos, the three blocking my high school prom photo, which is pushed flat against the wall.
“Here,” Asher says, holding out two ibuprofen in one hand and a glass of water in the other, “this should help a little.”
“Thank you.” I swallow the pills and chase them with water.
“Oh, look.” He plucks my photo from the table and holds it out. “Is this the guy?”
It’s your typical early 2010s prom photos.
I am standing with Roger in front of the same mantel, but this time my wide smile doesn’t meet my eyes.
Roger has his black hair slicked back, with his brown eyes trained on the camera, his mouth downturned in a scowl.
We had fought earlier that day, and junior prom was effectively our last-ditch effort to save the relationship.
“That’s him.” I nod at the photo, “And my awful bangs.”
Asher chuckles, “The bangs are cute.” He sets it back on the table in front of Violet’s photo. “What happened?”
“Well, my hair grows.”
He gives me a look.
“I didn’t want to be a house bunny. I wanted to go to college with Shae, but he didn’t like that. We all know how it ended up. I guess I’ve always been at odds with my future.”
“Sometimes things work out differently.” Asher turns and leans against the wall, “Are you happy?”
“In this moment, with the chaos and the headache?”
“Yes, at this moment, even with the chaos and the headache.” He reaches out and presses his thumb between my brows, smoothing out my scowl until I relax my features.
“Yes, I am.” Even though I’m unsure of where everything is going to go with Asher, and we both seem to keep dodging the elephant-sized feelings in the room. I’m happy to have him in my life in any capacity.
“Then perhaps you’re exactly where you are supposed to be.”
Our eyes meet, and for the second or third time today, time stops, and I want to exist in this moment for as long as I can. I try my best to convey to him how much he means to me, how much all of this means to me.
Please don’t hold any of this holiday against me, I promise I will make this up to you. You deserve so much more than being my fake plus one. I want a do-over. I want this to be real.
I have half a mind to drag him into a hall closet and kiss him silly, away from the rest of the party where it will mean something. No pausing, no doubting, just us. Exactly how it should be.
The doorbell rings, and my mother’s voice echoes through the front of the house, “Roger! I’m so glad you could make it.”
I turn to Asher, and he pushes off of the wall, holding out his hand.
“C’mon,” he says as he laces his fingers through mine, leading me into the main room so we can disappear into the crowd.
As soon as we turn the corner, my mom is ushering Roger through the doorway, her eyes lighting up when she sees us. “And there’s Penny and her friend Asher.”
Friend. I can’t believe the word actually came out of her mouth. All of this was for her, and she doesn’t even want to acknowledge my relationship, fake or not. Here I am bending over backwards to appease her, but she keeps moving the goalposts.
“Her boyfriend, actually.” Asher releases my hand, being the bigger man, and offers his, “Pleasure to meet you.”
Roger looks stunned, but he still shakes Asher’s hand, “Oh, it’s nice to meet you.” He turns to me with a nod, “Penny.”
“Hey, Mom, can I talk to you in private?” I ask through my polite smile.
“Sure, sweetheart.” My mom turns to the others, “If you’ll both excuse us.”
As we walk back to the kitchen, I can tell by her body language that she’s frustrated to have to leave the party to talk to me.
In her mind, she had done nothing wrong, and for a split second; I’ve lost my confidence.
I am suddenly a little girl again, having to tell her I broke a glass and being reminded how rabbits should act.
The door barely closes before she turns to me, “That was kind of rude, Penny.”
“Rude? Rude is inviting my ex-boyfriend to the family Christmas party without even consulting me or asking me how I feel about it and then disrespecting my relationship in front of everyone.” I gesture to the other room.
“I’m only looking out for you, Penny. It’s what a mother is supposed to do.” She folds her arms across her chest.
“I can look out for myself, Mom, I have been for the last 14 years. I don’t need you to intervene in my love life.”
My mother looks at me, and her brows furrow, “It seems you do. You are almost 33 years old. You should think about settling down. Time is ticking, you won’t be young forever. Your father says Roger is ready to get married, he would make a lovely mate and father to your children.”
“What about Asher?” I ask.
“What about Asher? I wasn’t aware of his existence until three weeks ago. Do you even know anything about that man? You have brought a practical stranger into my home. I don’t want to see you wasting your time on someone who isn’t serious about you, sweetheart.”
My shoulders tense and the words tumble out of my mouth, “I’m not wasting my time because it’s all fake!”
I catch movement out of my peripheral vision, and when I turn, Asher is standing by the door. The moment our eyes meet, he disappears back into the party, his expression unreadable. Panic grips my chest. I want to shift and hide. I want to run after him. Above all else, I want all of this to stop.
“Fake?” she cries out. “What do you mean, fake?”
Until now, I had hoped to avoid this conversation until after the holidays, but it’s clear that she doesn’t understand what she’s doing and how much it’s affecting me. And now that she’s brought Asher into it? My last bit of restraint snaps.
“Asher agreed to come home with me and pretend to be my boyfriend so you wouldn’t push Roger on me and hopefully to stop you from bugging me to settle down.” I admit.
“Bugging you? Oh, well then I am sorry that I’m bugging you to say you should be a responsible adult. You are getting to a certain age, Penny, you need to take a good hard look at who you want to be the father of your children.” She wags her finger at me, and I snap.
“I’m never having kids, Mom. I decided that a long time ago.
I’m sorry. I don’t care if you think I lack direction.
” I lift my hands and then let them fall to my side, “Maybe I do, but it’s my life.
I want to let myself make mistakes and live in the city, and I want to work at Plot Twist for as long as they’ll let me.
Above all else, I want to have a relationship with my mother without feeling like I’m constantly disappointing her. ”
She stands there, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.
I take that silence as an answer. “But maybe it is too much to ask. Merry Christmas, Mom.”
The moment I walk into the hall, Hazel pulls me into a hug. “I am so proud of you.”
“I’m going to throw up.” I murmur into their shoulder, then pull away, “I just yelled at Mom on Christmas Eve.”
“You did, but you also stood your ground and set boundaries.” Hazel shakes my shoulders, squeezing. “Pretty sure feeling like you’re going to throw up is a normal side effect.”
“Do you know where Asher went?” I crane my neck to check the hall and the living room, hoping to see his dirty blond hair.
“I’m pretty sure I saw him go upstairs.” They nudge me, “Go after him. I’ll try to smooth things out with Mom.”
“Thank you, Hazel.” I envelop them in another tight hug.
“Yes, I love you too. Now, go.” Hazel pushes me further down the hall.