Chapter Nine Grace
Chapter Nine
Grace
I storm down the hallway, my heart pounding so hard it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. The tears sting at the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Not here. Not where he might see. I don’t even know why I’m reacting like this, why it hurts so much to think that Logan might still have feelings for Samantha.
It shouldn’t matter. We’re not really together. This was never supposed to be anything more than a stupid game, a charade to get through these two weeks. Somewhere along the line, I let my guard down, and now it’s all crashing down around me.
I hear Logan calling my name, his footsteps echoing down the hall as he catches up to me, but I don’t slow down. I can’t face him, not when everything is so raw.
“Grace, wait!” His voice is closer now, and I know I can’t avoid him any longer. I stop abruptly, spinning around to face him, my arms crossed tightly over my chest as if that could somehow protect me from the flood of emotions threatening to spill over.
“What?” I snap, my voice harsher than I intend, but I can’t help it. “What do you want, Logan?”
He looks at me, his expression torn between frustration and concern. “Grace, you didn’t hear the whole conversation. It’s not what you think.”
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “Not what I think? Logan, I saw you with her. I heard you. It’s fine, okay? It’s fine. We aren’t really together, so you’re a free man. You can do whatever you want. Be with whoever you want.”
He steps closer, his voice softening. “No, you don’t understand. Samantha doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I was trying to tell her that—”
“Stop,” I cut him off, holding up a hand to keep him from getting any closer. “Just stop. You don’t owe me any explanations, Logan. We’re not a real couple.”
The words taste bitter on my tongue, but I push through, trying to keep my emotions in check. “And it’s my fault,” I continue, my voice trembling. “It’s my fault for letting my emotions get the best of me, for forgetting what this really is. Just because we had sex doesn’t mean there’s any commitment. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Logan’s face falls, the hurt in his eyes clear as day, but I force myself to stay strong, to hold onto the anger, because it’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
“Grace, I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I interrupt, my voice sharp as I push past him. “It’s done, okay? Let’s just get through these next few days and be done with this whole mess.”
I start walking away again, not daring to look back, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes. The tears that I’ve been holding back finally spill over, blurring my vision as I put as much distance between us as possible.
***
I spend the next few hours trying to push Logan—and everything that just happened—out of my mind. It’s harder than I thought it would be. The memory of our argument keeps replaying in my head, and every time I think about it, my chest tightens with a mix of regret and frustration. I know I can’t dwell on it, not with so much still to do for Emily’s wedding.
I find Emily in one of the resort’s event rooms, surrounded by stacks of wedding invitations, seating charts, and sample menus. She’s sitting at a large table, her face lit up with that excited glow she’s had ever since she got engaged. It’s infectious, usually, but today, I can’t seem to muster up the same enthusiasm.
“Grace!” Emily looks up and beams at me as I walk in. “I’m so glad you’re here. I could really use some help with these menus. I thought we had it all sorted, but there’s a problem with the vegetarian option.”
I force a smile and take a seat across from her, trying to focus on the task at hand. “Sure, I’d love to help.”
For the next hour, we go over the menus, seating arrangements, and other last-minute details for the wedding, which is only ten days away. Emily is in full planning mode, chatting away about the colors, the flowers, the music. I nod and offer opinions when needed, but my mind is only half-present. I can’t stop thinking about Logan, about the mess I’ve gotten myself into.
Emily’s excitement is palpable, and I want to be happy for her—I really do—but the weight of everything that’s happened with Logan is dragging me down. It’s like a dark cloud hanging over what should be a joyful time, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to shake it.
“Grace?” Emily’s voice breaks through my thoughts, and I realize I’ve been staring at the same menu option for the past few minutes without really seeing it.
“Sorry,” I say quickly, shaking my head to clear it. “What were you saying?”
Emily gives me a curious look, her smile faltering just a little. “Are you okay? You seem… distracted.”
I bite my lip, trying to find the right words. I want to tell her, to confide in her the way I always have, but how can I? Telling Emily the truth about my fake engagement with Logan would mean revealing everything—the lie, the confusion, the mess of emotions that I can barely sort out myself. I can’t do that to her, not now, not when she’s so focused on her wedding.
“I’m fine,” I say, forcing another smile. “Just a little tired, I guess. It’s been a long few days.”
Emily doesn’t look convinced, but she nods, clearly deciding not to press the issue. “If you say so. If something’s bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right?”
I nod, my throat tight. “Yeah, I know.”
We go back to discussing the wedding, but the weight of what I’m not saying hangs heavy between us. I wish I could be more excited for her, to share in her joy the way I should, but the whole Logan situation has ruined my mood. It’s hard to focus on flowers and menus when all I can think about is how everything between us has gone so wrong.
At some point, Emily starts talking about the rehearsal dinner, asking if I think the seating arrangement is okay. I give her an absent-minded nod, but my thoughts are a million miles away, caught up in the whirlwind of everything that’s happened over the past few days.
“Grace,” Emily says gently, placing a hand on mine. “Are you sure everything’s okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”
I swallow hard, the urge to spill everything rising up in my throat. I can’t do it. I can’t ruin this for her. So I force another smile, squeezing her hand in return. “I’m fine, Em. Really. Just tired, like I said.”
She gives me a long, searching look, but eventually, she nods. “Okay; promise me you’ll take care of yourself, too. I don’t want you burning out before the big day.”
“I promise,” I say, though the words feel hollow. I know I’m not taking care of myself—not really. I’m just trying to hold it all together, to keep up the facade, even as it’s crumbling around me.
We finish up the wedding tasks for the day, and Emily heads off to meet Joseph, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stare at the neatly organized seating chart in front of me, but all I can see is the mess I’ve made of things with Logan.
We finish up the wedding tasks for the afternoon, and Emily gathers her things, giving me a warm smile. “I’m off to meet Joseph,” she says, her excitement bubbling over. “We’re going to finalize some last-minute details for the rehearsal dinner. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I reply, forcing a smile that I hope is convincing. “You go ahead. I’ll just tidy up here and maybe grab some fresh air afterward.”
She gives me a quick hug before heading out, leaving me alone in the quiet event room. The door closes behind her, and the silence settles in, thick and heavy. I stare down at the neatly organized seating chart in front of me, but instead of seeing the carefully arranged names, all I can focus on is the mess I’ve made with Logan.
I can’t stop replaying our argument, the way his words stung, the way my own words came out so sharp, like a defense mechanism I couldn’t control. I should’ve been honest with him, with myself, but instead, I let my pride and my fear get in the way.
Before I can sink too deep into my thoughts, the door opens again, and Emily pops her head back in. “Hey, Grace?”
I look up, surprised to see her back so soon. “Yeah?”
She steps inside, her expression a little more serious than before. “Joseph is busy, so I thought… there’s something I wanted to talk to you about, actually. It’s been on my mind, and I didn’t get a chance to bring it up earlier.”
My heart skips a beat, anxiety tightening in my chest. “Sure, what’s up?”
Emily sits down across from me, her gaze soft but curious. “It’s about you and Logan. The whole engagement—it came as a bit of a shock, you know? I mean, I’ve always thought there was something between you two, but still.”
I swallow, trying to keep my expression neutral. “Yeah, I get that. It was… unexpected for us too, I guess.”
She nods, her fingers idly tracing the edge of the seating chart. “I mean, I understand why you wanted to keep it under wraps until the wedding. It makes sense, with everything going on. You know, I think you two are really cute together. It was only a matter of time before something happened; but I don’t want you rushing into anything.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, but I force myself to smile, to keep up the act. “Thanks, Em. We’re fine, promise.”
Emily nods, studying me with that knowing look she gets when she’s trying to figure something out. “Honestly, I’ve always kind of suspected there was something more between you two. The way you bicker, the way you look at each other—it’s different from how you are with anyone else. I just never thought you’d actually get together.”
I feel a lump forming in my throat, and I swallow hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. “Yeah, well, sometimes things just… happen, I guess.”
She smiles, oblivious to the turmoil going on inside me. “I think it’s great, though. Logan’s a good guy, and you two make a lot of sense together. You balance each other out. I’m really happy for you, Grace.”
Her words, meant to be reassuring, only make the knot in my stomach tighten. I’ve spent so long pretending that this engagement is real, that it’s easy to forget sometimes how much of a lie it really is. But hearing Emily talk about it like it’s something she’s genuinely happy about, like it’s something she’s been rooting for, makes it feel even more like a betrayal.
“Thanks, Em,” I manage to say, my voice a little too quiet.
Emily’s smile softens, and she reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “You deserve to be happy, Grace. If Logan’s the one who can make you happy, then I’m all for it.”
I squeeze her hand back, the weight of the lie pressing down on me like never before. I can’t tell her the truth, not now, not when she’s so excited about everything. I don’t want to ruin her wedding with my mess, with the fallout of a fake engagement that’s spiraling out of control.
“I hope so,” I say, forcing the words out even though they feel like they’re choking me. “I really hope so.”
Emily gives me a final smile before she stands up. “Well, I better go. Don’t overthink things, okay? Sometimes, you just have to let yourself be happy.”
I nod, watching her leave, the weight of her words hanging heavily in the air. The door closes behind her, and I’m left alone again, the silence more suffocating than before.