Chapter Eighteen Logan
Chapter Eighteen
Logan
The hike with Joseph is meant to be a break from the chaos—a chance to clear my head, to focus on something other than the mess I’ve made of things with Grace. But as we trek through the wooded trail, the air crisp and the sun filtering through the trees, I can’t stop thinking about her. Every step feels heavier, the weight of what I need to say pressing harder on my chest.
“So,” I begin, glancing over at Joseph, who’s a few paces ahead of me. “I’ve been thinking… I want to do something special for Grace. Something romantic.”
Joseph glances back at me, a curious grin on his face. “Oh yeah? What kind of special?”
I shrug, trying to play it cool. “I don’t know. Something more meaningful than just dinner or flowers. Something that shows her how much she means to me.” I hesitate for a second, then add, “Got any ideas?”
Joseph stops for a moment, looking thoughtful. He leans against a nearby tree, wiping some sweat from his brow. “Well, it depends. You could go all out—fancy dinner and something personal. Or you could keep it simple. Something she wouldn’t expect but would love.”
I nod, listening, my mind running through the possibilities. I want it to be perfect, something that really shows her how I feel. But there’s a pit in my stomach that keeps reminding me that I haven’t told her the most important part yet.
Joseph pushes off the tree and starts walking again, but his voice is more serious now. “Look, Logan, I’ve got to ask… Is all this legit? I mean, you and Grace—it seemed to come out of nowhere.”
I glance over at him, trying to keep my expression neutral. “I’m serious about her.” I say it easily, but there’s a flicker of something—guilt, maybe—that I try to brush off. “It started off fast, I’ll give you that. It’s real. I care about her.”
Joseph doesn’t say anything for a moment, just keeps walking, but I can tell he’s not entirely convinced. “You sure?” he finally asks. “Because Grace is my only sister. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”
I swallow, the weight of his words sinking in. “I’m sure,” I say, though my voice is quieter now. “I love her.”
The admission is like a weight off my chest, but also one that settles in a little deeper. Saying it out loud makes it more real, more terrifying.
“You haven’t told her yet, have you?” Joseph says, glancing at me again.
“Of course I have,” I lie. “We’re engaged.”
He hums. “I know you, reserved to a fault. It’s okay if you haven’t said the words; I’m sure she knows.” Joseph smiles, clapping me on the back. “You’ll know when the time’s right, Logan. Just don’t wait too long. Trust me.”
I nod, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten. I love Grace, but telling her feels like the biggest risk I’ve ever taken. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep waiting to say it.
***
I spend the entire afternoon planning, my mind racing with how I’m going to tell Grace I love her. It’s been gnawing at me for days, the words sitting on the tip of my tongue, but every time I get close to saying them, something pulls me back. Not tonight, though. Tonight, it’s happening. I want it to be perfect, something heartfelt and sweet—something she’ll never forget.
I decide to set everything up on the private part of the beach where we first had that picnic. It’s a quiet, secluded spot, tucked away from the rest of the resort. I get everything ready—a blanket spread out on the sand, candles in lanterns flickering softly as the sun sets in the background. I pack a small basket with her favorite wine, strawberries, and a few chocolate truffles I know she loves. It’s simple but intimate, just the two of us with the ocean as the backdrop.
I even take a moment to double-check my appearance in the mirror before heading out. My shirt is crisp, my hair tousled just enough to look casual but not careless. I want to show her how much I’ve thought about this, how much she means to me. A part of me is nervous, though—a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that something could go wrong.
I push it aside. This is Grace. She’ll love it.
Once everything is ready, I pull out my phone and dial her number, knowing she doesn’t have any plans tonight. There’s no wedding event, no bridal duties—just us. I’m excited, imagining her smile when she sees the setup, the look in her eyes when I finally tell her how I feel.
The phone rings once, twice, and then she picks up. “Hey,” she says, her voice a little flat, like she’s distracted.
“Hey, you free tonight? I have something planned for us. It’s a surprise,” I say, my voice laced with excitement. I can’t help it—I’m already picturing her reaction.
There’s a pause on the other end, and I frown slightly, waiting for her to respond.
“Um… yeah, I’m free,” she finally says, but there’s something off. She sounds distant, almost reluctant, and not the way I imagined she’d respond. I thought she’d be excited, maybe even curious. Instead, she sounds like she’s miles away.
“Great,” I say, trying to keep my voice light, hoping to shake off the unease that’s creeping in. “I’ll see you at the beach around seven, okay? It’ll be worth it, I promise.”
“Okay,” she says, her tone still flat.
I hang up, staring at the phone for a moment, the excitement I’d felt a minute ago dimming. Something’s not right. Grace doesn’t sound like herself. I brush the thought aside, hoping it’s just been a long day for her. Once she sees what I’ve set up, it’ll all change. She’ll see how much I’ve been thinking about her, about us.
***
When she arrives later that evening, her silhouette framed by the soft glow of the candles, I stand up, smiling as I go to meet her. She looks beautiful, as always, but there’s a tension in her posture that I can’t ignore. Her arms are wrapped around herself, and her expression is… off. Distant.
“Hey,” I say softly, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She barely responds, her eyes flicking over the setup without much interest. I try to shake off the disappointment building in my chest. “I thought we could just relax, have some wine… talk.”
Grace forces a small smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, that sounds nice,” she says, her voice quiet.
I guide her to the blanket, pouring her a glass of wine, hoping it’ll help her unwind. I want this to be special, to show her how much I care, but she’s still distant, her gaze wandering to the ocean instead of meeting mine.
“So,” I start, sitting down next to her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately. About everything that’s happened.”
She nods absently, taking a sip of wine, but she’s barely listening. I can feel it—the way she’s not really here with me. It’s like there’s something on her mind, something big, and she’s not telling me what it is.
I try to keep my tone light, to cheer her up. “You know, I’ve got to say, I think we’ve done pretty well for a fake engagement. No major disasters yet, right?” I laugh softly, trying to coax a smile out of her, but she only nods, her expression unreadable.
“Yeah,” she murmurs, her voice distant. “No major disasters.”
I watch her for a moment, the weight in my chest growing heavier. This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go. She’s not herself—she’s so far away from me, and I don’t know how to reach her. I thought this would be a moment for us to connect, to take things to the next level. She’s not here. Not really.
“Grace,” I say, my voice soft but firm, hoping to get through to her. “What’s going on? You’re not… you’re not acting like yourself.”
She hesitates, her eyes finally meeting mine, and I can see the conflict in her gaze. There’s something she’s not telling me, something that’s eating away at her. But before she can respond, she looks away again, her shoulders tense.
“I’m fine,” she says quietly, but I know it’s not the truth.
I lean in slightly, trying to reach her, my voice gentle but firm. “Grace, talk to me. I can tell something’s wrong. You’ve been distant all night.”
She takes another sip of her wine, barely meeting my gaze. Her shoulders tense even more, and it feels like a wall is being built between us brick by brick. She’s shutting me out, and it’s driving me insane.
“I’m not distant,” she snaps, her voice sharp, catching me off guard. “I’m just… processing. You’re being overbearing, Logan.”
I blink at her, surprised by the bite in her tone. Overbearing? I was just trying to be there for her. I thought tonight was supposed to be special, a moment where we could reconnect, but every attempt I make seems to push her further away.
My patience starts to wear thin. “Overbearing? Grace, I’m just trying to understand what’s going on. I thought… I thought you’d like this. I put all of this together for us.”
She sighs, rubbing her temples, clearly frustrated. “It’s not the night, Logan. It’s not the setup. It’s us. You… you’re missing the point.”
I feel the knot in my stomach tighten, a sinking sensation settling in as her words cut through the tension. “What do you mean ‘it’s us’? I thought we were working through things, that this—" I gesture to the beach, the candles, the wine— "was a way to move forward.”
She shakes her head, her voice soft but laced with exhaustion. “How can we move forward when our whole relationship is based on a lie?”
I freeze, her words hanging in the air like a slap to the face. I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out at first. All I can do is stare at her, my heart pounding in my chest. She’s not wrong, but hearing her say it aloud makes it sting even more. I thought we’d moved past that. I thought we were building something real.
“Grace, it’s not all a lie,” I say, my voice more pleading than I intended. “We may have started this under complicated circumstances, but what I feel for you… it’s real.”
She looks away, her hands gripping the wine glass tightly, her knuckles white. “Logan, I don’t even know what’s real anymore. We’ve been pretending for so long. How can I believe that any of this is true?”
I step closer, my frustration rising. “Because it is true! Don’t you see? I care about you, Grace. I’ve wanted to tell you for days, but—”
She cuts me off, shaking her head, her voice trembling. “How can we expect to be anything when this entire relationship is built on lies? From the moment we started, we’ve been pretending—for everyone else, for ourselves. It’s exhausting, Logan. I can’t keep doing this.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and for the first time, I feel a flicker of doubt creeping in. Is this too much? I thought tonight would fix things, bring us closer, but instead, it feels like everything is unraveling.
Grace’s voice wavers, her eyes filled with a mix of frustration and sadness. “I’m tired of lying to everyone. To my family. They think this is real. They think I’m settling down, finally finding someone… someone who’ll be there for me. If they knew the truth… they’d be heartbroken.”
I feel my chest tighten, my frustration morphing into something more raw. I didn’t mean for this to happen. None of this was supposed to hurt her. I step forward, trying to close the distance between us, but she takes a step back, her eyes filled with uncertainty.
“Grace,” I say softly, “I never wanted to hurt you. This was supposed to be temporary, but it changed for me. You changed it for me. I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I want to make this real.”
Her lips tremble, and for a second, I think she’s going to soften. But then she shakes her head, her voice cracking. “ How can it be real when everything between us started with a lie?”
I run a hand through my hair, feeling the weight of her words. I get it. I do. But I’m not willing to give up on this. Not now. “We can move past it, Grace. We can make it real. We don’t have to lie anymore.”
She lets out a shaky breath, her eyes filling with tears she’s trying hard to hold back. “I don’t know if I can, Logan. I don’t know if we can.”
Her words hang between us, a chasm that feels impossible to cross. My heart sinks further as I realize that tonight, the night I was supposed to tell her I love her, has turned into something entirely different. Something heavier.
I want to fix it, to tell her that everything will be okay. As I look at her, standing there with her shoulders hunched in defeat, I realize this isn’t something I can fix with words or romantic gestures. This is deeper. It’s about trust, about the lies that have built a wall between us.
I don’t know how to tear it down.