Chapter Nineteen
ELI WISHED HE’D lit the corner fireplace in his bedroom. Amarie didn’t seem to mind the cooler nights, but he wanted her to feel safe and warm in his arms. He’d lived a life of control. Controlled by rules, first his father’s, then the military’s. As the oldest son, he had a duty of responsibility to his family, to his community, and to the Calvary legacy. But with Amarie, he felt the rush of his blood, could taste the hunger to claim her on his tongue.
Amarie required nothing of him. Freedom came in many forms. After hours spent in her company, she’d taught him the beauty of giving—educating others, answering questions from strangers wanting to care for their beloved pets, quizzing her about the nursing process every night—not out of duty, but for the joy of helping the next person.
He was simply Eli, not a son, not a brother, not a business owner. Amarie gave of herself. And Eli, he wanted to share with her everything he hid from the rest of world, his fears, his doubts, and his heart. With her, he could be a man loving his woman.
“You make me happy. I more than need you, I—I want you, Amarie.”
With his confession, a window he’d sealed away after the divorce opened.
With Amarie, he had it all. Family. Career. The support of a compassionate and capable woman. For the first time, his life and his love were focused in the same direction, the direction that led to Amarie. No longer did he have to do life alone. Amarie shared his values. Heck, she’d given him a new vision for his future. And it included her.
Amarie shared his vision. Heck, she’d shaped his vision. Their minds synced, and now, their bodies hummed. With his body, Eli tried to show Amarie how much she mattered, how she completed him.
He pushed himself harder. She dug her nails into his back, spurring him. He loved her enthusiasm in and out of bed.
“Is this what you want?” he asked.
It was a loaded question not just for him but for her.
“Yes.” The softest yes hit him the hardest, a hammer to his heart. Eli absorbed the blow and used it to power them closer to completion. The added roll of her hips had Eli biting into his lip in ecstasy.
“I want to be with you.”
“Thank you,” he breathed. He lowered his head, inhaled their comingled scent. The combination of sweet and spice heightened his arousal.
“For what?” she breathed.
“Being uniquely you always.”
Interlocking his fingers with hers, he pushed them toward the pleasure they both craved. When they tumbled over the edge, light exploded out behind his eyes and he poured himself into her, feeling her muscles tighten around him.
Minutes passed, Eli lay there, drawing and repainting the portrait of their lovemaking. Panting for air, he rolled to his back, then dropped his feet to the floor.
“Eli?” Amarie placed on hand on his back, her tongue soothing, her tone questioning. He twisted to face her.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever come into my life. I meant what I said, too, about us being real. This is our beginning.”
She regarded him with those wide doe eyes, and then nodded.
“Me too.”
He scooped her up into his arms, the sheet tangled around her feet.
“Hey,” she exclaimed with a hoarse rasp to her voice. “Where are we going?”
“The next round will happen under the stars.” Eli walked out his front door onto Calvary land with his woman in his arms.
Hours later, Eli collapsed onto his back, chest heaving from exertion. The night had grown cooler, the stars overhead shone brighter. Next to him, Amarie hummed another tune from her Prince playlist. He’d downloaded the artist’s greatest hits compilation after their day on the farm, so he recognized the melody. But most important, he was learning when she was happy. He wondered if she was aware of the brush of her toes against his as she hummed off-key with a dizzying array of rising and falling octaves. Eli had never been much for playing footsies, but he would walk across burning sand for more nights like this one. The heat from Amarie’s lush body, with all its curves free for him to enjoy, felt too far away. He reached for her, a satisfying rumble in his chest when she saddled up to his hard planes.
“Hmm,” she sighed, tossing one bent leg over his. “You’re hired.”
He curled his arm across her shoulder. “Wasn’t aware I’d auditioned.”
She lifted her head from his chest, her face in shadow, but the smile parting her lips warmed his insides like a summer sun.
“The first time always is, Mr. Calvary.”
“By my count, we bypassed the first of everything hours ago. You screamed yes half a dozen times. I’m thinking I earned myself a bonus and a raise.”
“Huh, depends on if I pass my exam.”
Eli grinned. “In that case, I better give you a fourth injection, clear up your doubts. Good lovin’ is a miracle cure.”
“Funny, hehe,” she trailed off. “I know your body, but I’m still figuring out what makes Eli, the man, tick beyond saving Calvary land.”
Boy, did she ever. Amarie had been as eager to explore his muscles as he’d been to taste her curves. With every lick of her tongue she’d broken him down, a wild horse tamed one well-placed love bite at a time.
“What do you want to know?” Being this amenable, vulnerable, for any woman should have terrified him, but Amarie had chosen to be in his corner from day one. He trusted her. And he realized he trusted himself in her loving embrace. Her genuine affection for living life in the moment and making others feel loved and valued had touched him. Being inside her, connected in the most intimate of ways, had transformed him.
“Tell me something about you that no one else knows. Something you entrust to me—only me,” she whispered.
Eli’s heart rate sped up. Amarie was asking him to trust her to be his one. His fears. His failures. His future—he no longer had to bear the weight alone. He’d thought about his choices, his mistakes, his dreams since Amarie had walked through his door. But the one secret he’d never shared with anyone, he did with her.
“This isn’t the first time we’ve been in jeopardy of losing this land.”
Amarie’s breath hitched.
“My sophomore year of college, my dad hurt his back, couldn’t work at full speed for more than a year. With the medical bills and monthly expenses, the finances underwater, including the mortgage, Dad tapped their meager retirement fund to keep the family from drowning in debts. It wasn’t enough,” he paused, not wanting to break a vow between father and son.
“Whoa, Leah had to be scared for your father—and the business, of course,” she tacked on. Eli pulled his marshmallow heart of a woman closer. As a nurse, she would think of the person before any material possessions. Cara would’ve reversed the order.
“My father never told her. To this day, my family thinks I went off to college and fell in love with the city. In truth, I picked up a job at the animal shelter in addition to my work-study position. I couldn’t afford to miss a day of work or studying.”
Amarie placed her small hand over his heart. The small gesture touched more than his heart; it touched his mind. Here lay a compassionate woman who’d touched every aspect of his being, both physical and emotional, to the point where Eli felt safe confiding his darkest secret. One he continued to shield from his entire family.
“Your father would be proud of your dedication to the family and the land he sacrificed for. My father paid for my college tuition, all six years.” She flashed a grin at him. Hiccup, who’d ambled off the porch after the adult activities had ended, yawned and flopped down on the blanket at his feet.
“I never wanted to burden my folks. Tobias and Noah were high schoolers, the money stayed funny. The ends didn’t meet for years after Dad’s injury.”
“You’re a good son, Eli.”
He snuggled her closer, driving the chill from his soul. “That’s questionable. Enough ’bout me. Your turn.”
“The year I turned eleven, my mom packed our suitcases in Prince’s trunk, and we left my dad.”
“That had to be scary.”
She gazed up at him. “No. We were happy… at first. Dad criticized how Mom cooked. How she cleaned. How she dressed. No matter how hard she worked, it never pleased him.”
“Okay.” He nodded so she would continue. As a kid, he never would’ve imagined his parents would be happier apart. Amarie’s home must have been horrible for a free spirit like hers. She figured life out by trial and error. A risk-taker would’ve made a lot of mistakes as a kid. Eli had a feeling the criticism extended beyond her mother. It pissed him off to think of a father crushing her creativity, making her afraid to try new things.
“Wait. You said Prince. The car belonged to your mother?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “Mom called him our chariot. I rode in the front seat with her. She said he was ours because she’d purchased him with her own money, not my father’s.”
“Sounds like serious girl power.”
“Dad controlled the household finances.”
“I’m assuming that’s not a euphemism for managed?”
“Afraid not.” She frowned. “Mom had to save from the money he gifted her for managing his medical practice. Submitting his billing, dealing with the insurance companies, following up with patients on their lab reports. She did it all.”
“Your mom sounds like a real gem.” So, she’d grown up watching her mother multitask a difficult husband, a busy practice, and motherhood. No wonder she’d swooped into Service like a modern-day Wonder Woman. She’d been raised by a mother who navigated a marriage to a piece of crap.
“She was. Even bought me a dog, a short-haired beagle, Princess. But she was too young for our adventure.”
Amarie sounded sad now. Instinctively, Eli knew the end of the story wouldn’t have a happy ending.
“What happened?”
“Things got tough. We didn’t eat some nights. Mom would distract me by painting my toes. Then she would let me do hers—any color I wanted.”
The way her voice tightened as if every word strained for release, Eli got the sense that nighttime food scarcity had stretched into daylight hours, too.
“You do love your snack packs.” He stroked his fingers up and down her spine, providing comfort to the little girl wrapped up in the heart in his woman. Yep, she was his now. And Eli had every intention of making more good memories, starting with tonight.
“True.” She teased the fine hairs dusting his chest. “My therapist suggested healthy snacks and water to stave of hunger signals when they occur. Otherwise, the anxiety about the next meal, if and when it will come, turns me into a beastly diva. You know, like those old candy bar commercials.”
Eli rolled to his side, shifting their bodies until they were face to face. “No divas allowed on my watch. I’ll keep you fed.”
Amarie’s eyes widened in understanding and her gaze lowered to his mouth. His double meaning came through loud and in stereo. He wanted her again. Couldn’t get enough of this brave and beautiful woman.
“I bet you will,” she leaned in, nipping his lower lip before sucking in her mouth and releasing.
He watched as she made a slow, wet trek across her lower lip, and then sank her teeth into the swollen flesh.
“What happened with Princess?”
“I’m pretty sure my father gave her away to punish my mother for leaving.”
Eli pulled up. “That’s pretty low-down for a father to do to his wife and child.”
She nodded. “I felt the same gut-churning sickness when Bucky tried to deprive Phoebe of her kittens.”
Eli’s breath hitched. Understanding dawned. The connection he’d missed when Amarie had stormed off at the wedding ready to rescue Ruth and Phoebe from a badly behaving father. He’d tried to stop her, not realizing she’d been triggered. He wanted to hold her for a different reason then.
“Amarie—” His voice broke apart at the reverence he placed on her name.
“Yes, Eli?”
“Don’t go back to Mom’s place. Stay with me.”
“I am, silly.”
“No, I mean every night.”
“You’re offering me a key to your kingdom, Eli Calvary?” she asked, sliding both her arms around his neck.
“This is Service. Don’t need a key, my door is always open,” he rasped, and so was his nose. And Eli wanted Amarie’s sweet apple aroma simmering under his roof. When Amarie giggled, he pulled her on top of his hardness and buried his face in her neck. He loved coming home.