Chapter Twenty-Seven
INSIDE AMARIE’S HEAD, old fears swirled like bad omens with fathomless eyes in ghostly bodies, screeching, Eli threw you away. Eli used you. He hadn’t. He’d blamed her for the website problems. Which was semi-operational. She’d repeated the same mistake of inserting her helping hands into someone else’s mess. Curse Eli Calvary for making her care about him. Who was she fooling, she’d fallen for the grump. After promising she was his number one, Eli had swayed out of the fairy-tale lane where there was love, skipping along hand and hand, to consider Cara’s cockamamie off-ramp of an excuse. And Russell with his editorialized commentary. Well, Amarie had promised herself that she would not linger where she wasn’t wanted. But she wouldn’t pack up in the middle of the night like before. She’d wait for a decent hour to say farewell to the town and people she’d fallen in love with. The short walk across Cattail Creek, past the Black Bear and the Town Mall plastered with fall-colored posters advertising the Founder’s Day Festival fed her heartbreak.
“Urgh,” she huffed, sadness swooping in to replace her fury. She’d miss out on the bachelor auction winners’ announcements and the apple-bobbing contest, the horse rides, and bake sale. Amarie grabbed the doorhandle for Kanaan’s Auto Repair. She would not make the mistakes her mother had made. She wouldn’t be the long-suffering wife, well not that she and Eli had discussed forever, but she wouldn’t be that woman.
And this time she had a plan. Centara Regional in Del Ray, Virginia, one of the many applications she’d completed prior to arriving in Service, had requested a job interview. The email had hit her inbox late yesterday, but she’d been distracted with ex drama. Hers and Eli’s.
“Love sucks and doesn’t live here anymore,” she yelled, the sound carrying through the steel rafters to bounce off the tin roof.
“She never did, ladybug,” Kanaan called down from his second-story office. The garage was a cavernous space with an acoustic echo. Which was could good because Amarie needed to hear anything other than her thoughts. Each tool and piece of equipment had a home on pegboard walls and metal shelves, an atmosphere of pride and professionalism on display. She guessed all the Calvary men had the trait at birth. The faint scent of motor oil hung in the air. For once, she cheered not hearing the water, sure that a single tear would slam into her, a tsunami tearing away what little remained of her heart.
“Hi, Kanaan.” Amarie schooled her features in a serene mask. Though there was nothing she could do to camouflage her puffy eyelids. “I need to pick up Prince, now.” Her voice cracked on the last syllable. That car had served as a safe haven to a scared eleven-year-old Amarie. She needed that comfort once again. And Prince belonged solely to her.
Kanaan moseyed down the steps, dressed in a crisp white T-shirt and loose gray cargo pants. “This emergency request have anything to do with the Amber Alert I received from Eli? Seems he’s real upset about a misplaced girlfriend?”
Amarie’s pulse quickened. Eli actually released a call to action to find her? No. Her attention deficit had kicked in, distracting her once again from her goal. The one that would whisk her away from Eli’s forest-green eyes and his talented mouth. This was for the best, she told herself. Happiness could not be trusted. She had money from her weekly pay, and she hadn’t touched the forty-eight hundred dollars in donations in her CashApp account. She didn’t need Eli’s money. She’d wasted enough time expecting a man to be her meal ticket. Amarie could feed herself. She had earned her degree, passed her exam, and organized a winning social media campaign. In other words, she had options. In reality, she always had.
“It’s not a request. I’m not Eli’s girlfriend,” she said a little too loud, her voice a shriek venturing into mild hysteria territory. “So, disconnect my vehicle from life support and hand over the keys.”
She stretched out her palm, wiggling her fingers. “Gimme.”
Kanaan, recognizing she would not be deterred, signaled for her to follow him. He led her to the opposite side of the garage, stopping in front of a tan canvas tarp.
“She’s a good little girly car.” He chuckled, grabbing the tarp and peeling it back.
Amarie gasped in surprise. “OMG.” Prince’s metallic purple paint job twinkled like a firefly jacket. “You—you removed the dents in the driver’s door panel.”
“Since it took a couple of weeks for the parts to arrive, I added a few of my own touches to make up for the delay.”
“Touches. She looks vintage showroom ready.” Amarie pressed her face against the rear window. “You polished the inside,” she exclaimed, too shocked to contain her joy. “Kanaan. How did you do all this?”
“Ah, I’m not used to having luxury cars in my shop.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, which turned more berry red by the second. “You wanna take her for a spin? Show off my handiwork?”
Amarie sobered. By now Lourdes Pendleton would’ve spread the word about the end of their partnership and the missing contract. “I don’t think so. I’m going to be heading out of town later tonight.”
Kanaan leaned against the door panel, crossing those fully loaded guns over his chest. The man did have his arms.
“What? But the festival starts tomorrow. You can’t leave before Eli announces the bachelor auction winners.”
She had to. Better to rip the bandage off before things got stickier. It would be harder to pull away if she delayed her departure.
“I’ve accomplished everything I set out to achieve in Service.” She’d even managed to fall in love. “I passed my nursing exam.”
“Heard about it at the Black Bear. Gracie Lou and Ruth are planning a surprise ladies’ day at the spa in Whynot for you.”
Amarie teared up. “They are?”
“Of course. You’re one of us.”
Amarie exhaled. She couldn’t do this. “I would’ve loved it, but… I have enough money saved on my own to get me set up back in the city.”
Kanaan nodded, his intelligent blue eyes shadowed. “What about Eli?”
“We want different things from life.”
“Remember what I said about Eli doing everything solo?”
She sighed. “Right. You warned me.”
“More of a preparation,” Kanaan said, expression sad. “Eli sucked on his own. He’s a couple kind of guy, Amarie. Whether you leave or stay, you’re his other half. You make him want to be a better man.”
“Thanks, Kanaan. You’re a great cousin. But I have to do what’s best for me now.”
“Well,” he said, flexing his biceps, “I’m still available since my lug nut of a relative messed up the best woman to ever happen to this family since Aunt Leah.”
Amarie raised both hands. “Put those away,” she chided. “I’m weaning myself off country boys.”
“Geesh, that bad, huh?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“I heard your mom was in town. Is that going to keep you here any longer?”
“Ah, I’m the reason she’s here. As soon as I can pull myself together,” she pointed to her tear-streaked face, “we’re gone.” Though she had no idea how many hours it required to stitch a broken heart.
“Amarie.” He uncrossed his muscle forearms and offered his hand. “It’s been a pleasure, meeting you. And thanks for bringing a smile to Eli’s ugly mug.”
“How much do I owe you for fixing Prince?”
“Oh, pretty lady. I owe you for rescuing my family. You’re the real deal, Amarie Walker.” He opened his arms. She walked into his embrace. “Take all the time you need,” he whispered.
Amarie rose up on tiptoes and gave him a hug. “Thanks. I could kiss you.”
She didn’t. Her kisses belonged to Eli, even if he didn’t belong to her anymore. If she left now, she could make it back to Leah’s, get the luggage and her mother in the car, and reach the interstate before dark. Maybe she’d wait till everyone was at the Black Bear celebrating the end of the auction. Could she leave without a goodbye to her friends? Calvary Vet Clinic and Eli would be okay. The Auction Luv Buzz banner had reappeared on the site, as well as the number of bidders. Odd, but Tobias had garnered the most bids. Seems Noah’s first bid was so high, it had knocked a lot of the local ladies out of the running. She’d follow the final tally from the road. She’d used everything in her tool kit, everything in her arsenal, to fund the life that she wanted. She’d helped her friend Leah in the process. And somewhere along the journey, she and her mom had plugged the hole in their relationship. Amarie felt proud of herself then and now. With her father and Russell out of the picture, she had a feeling that they both would continue to blossom where they were planted. Even if it wasn’t Service.
“Kanaan, the keys,” she prompted, patting his back.
“Sure,” he said, “I’ll go grab them.”
She climbed in Prince’s back seat, like she’d done as a kid, and immediately she exhaled, relieved to feel the familiar cool leather against her skin. She’d have to say goodbye to Leah, Billy, Jean, and Diana. Tobias, Noah, Matt Johnson, Ruth, and Phoebe. Harry the horse, though they hadn’t quite bonded. She was practically the godmother to Belle’s foal. Hiccup and the kittens she’d save for last because she wasn’t ready to look into Eli’s handsome face. But he spared her the trouble by ripping open her back door with enough force to rattle the floorboards.
Kanaan. He must have surrendered her location. She should’ve paid him. Then she could storm up the stairs, grab her check, and rip it into tiny pieces.
“Jeezuz.” Amarie jerked. “You almost caught these hands, scaring me like that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was worried about you. Everyone is,” Eli breathed, folding his big body into the back seat with her. The interior shrank to just them, and the rest of the world faded away. He cupped her face in his large hands. “I’m so sorry. Please. Please, forgive me. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“You suck at being a boyfriend. Don’t quit your day job.”
He scooped her up in his arms, placing her in his lap. “I know. Never been the fastest learner.”
Amarie certainly felt like she’d been in a major crash. Not only did her heart hurt, she felt drained, wrung out, and stretched to her breaking point.
“How did you find me?”
“Your story from when you were eleven,” he breathed. “About feeling safe in Prince.”
She nodded in understanding. Bless Kanaan. He’d protected her. Of their own volition, her hands rose and to cup Eli’s face. She’d had every intention of choking him unconscious for ruining them, but her heart, the dopey eight-ounce organ, had her too devastated to act on the emotion.
“You know I respect your dedication to your father’s legacy. Honestly, I can’t imagine the pressure you experienced when the auction site went offline and you thought it all was at risk, but I can’t dismiss what you said to me, Eli.”
“I get it. The walls closed in—Cara, the website, the demolition equipment, the missing contract—it’s the worst feeling, being trapped without options. I lashed out. You got hurt in the process.”
“Not just me, Eli. When you blurted out what your father did with your college fund, using it to pay off the mortgage, keeping Leah in the dark about you working two jobs through college. How you must love him to protect him and your mother. Even agreeing to the auction, you’ve done all of this to protect his memory, but what about the living. Leah, Tobias, Noah?”
“I love my parents and my brothers. I’d do anything to protect them.”
“I know you would. Why couldn’t you do that for me?”
“Sweetheart, I got scared. One reminder of the old patterns in my marriage to Cara, and all the old fears took over.”
“That another woman would use you, and then discard you?”
“Yeah,” he admitted.
“When I look at you, I see the man that you are. Russell hurt me. My mother had to negotiate with my father to pay my college tuition, his own daughter. Two men who were supposed to love me hurt me, but I know you are not them.” She swallowed. “At least I thought I did. I thought you saw more than my hardworking hands, what I could do for you. I thought you saw my heart.”
“I’m sorry, Amarie.” He repeated a solemn anthem to what could’ve been.
“Yeah, me too,” she whispered, lowering her hands to her lap.
“Come back home with me?”
“I can’t, Eli.” She couldn’t make herself more vulnerable to him. If she returned to the cabin, their cozy couch, their animals, she’d crumble. Amarie had to care for Amarie first.
Eli sighed, and then pressed his lips to her temple. “Then I’ll stay where you are. For as long as you let me, I’ll stay, Amarie.”
Amarie looked into his green eyes, captured by their beauty. “Why? There’s nothing left for me to say.”
The light in his eyes dimmed. “Then I’ll wait… stay by your side until you leave mine.”
Amarie remained quiet. She inhaled his clean scent as she pushed images of their time together out of her mind. Sleep claimed her. As her curves softened, molded against his strength, she didn’t fight his embrace. This would be the last time she held the one man for her, the one grumpy vet love had brought her… she wanted to remember everything about this farewell because she was done faking it. Everything had a place in this world. The time had arrived for Amarie to claim hers.