Chapter 7
SEVEN
Mona
After my initial shock at seeing the profile of one of Alex’s friends on the Holidates app, I decided that it didn’t matter.
I was ready to move on with my life. The site was public, everyone was free to use it, and it wasn’t my fault this guy was on there.
Besides, I got the idea from Alex’s other friend, Cal, so I guess it was a given that someone else in their group would also be on there.
With that said, tonight I have my first meet-up with a potential candidate.
His picture on there was not very clear, but from what I could tell, he was good looking enough.
In fact, he looked like a younger version of Alex.
I probably shouldn’t be going after a copycat, but whatever.
My only concern is not to show up alone at the Christmas party. Nothing else.
I took great care with my outfit tonight.
It is sexy but elegant, and I think I look damn good in it.
After a couple of emails back and forth, we decided to meet at a restaurant in Manhattan.
It’s a bit on the pricy side, and all I can afford will be a plain salad with the house dressing, but that’s okay.
I had a very filling meal before getting dressed, and I’m not even hungry, so I could skip eating altogether.
And I can drink water since I shouldn’t be drinking alcohol while meeting a stranger anyway.
The train is packed, as always, and I pull the coat I’m wearing tighter around my body, giving everyone around me a preemptive dirty look, just so they don’t get any ideas of approaching me.
The rule is that the more deranged you look, the more they leave you alone, and if I have to really act crazy so they wouldn’t engage with me, I’ll do it.
By the time the train gets to my stop, I feel inexplicably angry. I put too much effort into looking unapproachable, and I did too good of a job. Now I’m ready to beat someone up.
I climb up the stairs with purpose, relief flooding my system when I have finally reached the upper level.
It’d be nice if I could afford an Uber back home, I tell myself as I walk through the droves of people.
At this time, it is packed with mostly tourists since everyone who works here has already left for the day.
The restaurant is not far from the train station, and just as I get there, I realize that I should probably tell someone of my whereabouts. What if I disappear tonight? No one would know until way after my body has been disposed of.
I stop in front of the door and pull out my cell phone. I shoot a quick text to Elizabeth, although I have no idea what she could do in case I need help given that she lives in Texas nowadays.
Pulling my shoulders back, I let out a long breath of air and pull on the handle of the door. As soon as I step inside, I recognize the vibe around me as being what I knew it would be, money and understated opulence. Definitely out of my element here.
“Good evening, miss.” I jump, startled when the hostess addresses me. “Do you have a reservation?”
“Uhm, yes.” I clear my throat. “It should be under Julian Lewis.”
Her eyes go to the old fashioned reservation book she has in front of her. “Ah, yes!” Her face lights up with a smile. “You must be Mona.”
I nod with confidence. “That’s right.”
She signals for someone to come and take my coat, after which she steps from around her little podium and stretches an arm for me to follow her. “I will walk you to your table,” she murmurs demurely.
As I walk behind her, I check out the dress she’s wearing. It looks more expensive than the one I have on, making me wonder how much she’s getting paid. Maybe I should reconsider my choice of employment.
“Would you like anything to drink while you wait for Mr. Lewis?”
I take a seat at the table where she stopped, the small lamp on it giving it a romantic vibe.
“Water is fine,” I smile at her. My mouth feels tight, and my tone is strained when I speak. I am not the confident woman who marched here all the way from the train station.
The girl bows and leaves with the same smile she’s maintained since I stepped foot inside the restaurant. Not awkward at all.
An elegant glass of water is placed in front it me. I want to grab it and gulp it down, but since I don’t want to look like the savage that I am, I pick it up gently and take a couple of small sips.
Not sure if it would be appropriate for me to have my cell phone out, I pick up my purse and place it in my lap. I slowly unzip it, then try to peek inside of it, wanting to check the time on my phone. Wearing a watch would come in very handy right now.
“Mona!”
I am so startled by hearing my name in such a firm tone, I let out a small yelp and drop the purse to the ground. Since the zipper is now undone, I can hear my phone slipping out of it with a gentle thud, followed by the clinking of my keys.
When I look up, I am so shocked, you could knock me down with a feather.
“Alex.” I nod despite me wanting to pick up the glass of water and throw it in his face. “What a surprise to see you here.”
And I am not joking when I say that. Alex Connors was never the type to dine in such elegant establishments, at least not to my knowledge.
I hold his gaze while he stares at me, refusing to back down. In fact, I hope he can feel how much I despise him just from looking into my eyes.
“Not as surprised as I am to see you,” he now tells me. I swear there’s a little smirk in the corner of his mouth. “What brings you here?”
With my heart pounding in my ears, I raise an inquiring eyebrow. “Your question implies that I am not fit to step foot into such a fine establishment.”
Not going to lie, it hurts that he thinks so little of me.
I hate him for it, and I wish I never wasted so much time on trying to make him see me without thinking I was after his money.
Coincidentally, I don’t even know how much money he has because he’s always kept all the cards very close to his chest. But every so often, there were signs that he was in a much better financial situation than the apartment he lived in suggested.
“There is no implication of anything,” he tells me. He looks a little annoyed that I called him out on his shit. “I just haven’t seen you in a while, and I didn’t expect to see you here of all places.”
I widen my eyes in surprise when he pulls out the chair across from me and moves it in the empty spot next to me, then, he sits down.
“Excuse me, you can’t do that.”
He glances around in question. “I don’t see any signs to prevent me from doing it.”
I stomp my foot in annoyance. My heel catches onto something, which is the moment I remember that my cell phone fell out of my purse. With sudden moves, I push the chair back and lean down to pick everything up, noticing the very visible scratch I left on the screen of my cell.
“Shit,” I murmur to myself.
Alex’s warm breath hits my ear. “You shouldn’t use that kind of language in here. It is frowned upon.”
The skin on my arms instantly breaks into tiny little pebbles, and a shiver envelopes me from head to toe.
“Please go away,” I snap at him. “I am waiting for someone, and I will be very mad if you ruin my date.”
There’s a glint in his eye at hearing that. “You have a date?”
“No, Alex.” I roll my eyes at him. “I just sit around and pine for you all hours of the day.”
He lets out a snort of amusement but recovers quickly. “Is that why you’ve blocked me on any and all possible platforms I could contact you?”
His question is direct, and I can appreciate it. There is no beating around the bush. But I am still annoyed that he has the nerve to ask.
“I would’ve expected you to understand from me blocking you that I want nothing to do with you.”
My voice is slightly shaky. He can rattle me like nobody else, and I worry that I will do or say something that I will regret later. I need to stay cool, calm and collected, and pray that he will not put me in an uncomfortable situation when Julian gets here.
At the same time, I can smell his cologne, and it reminds me of all the times I cuddled into his body, with my face buried into his neck, inhaling his scent and thinking I could not live without it and him in my life.
“Talking to you in person is better than catching you on the phone,” he smirks at me. “I like this a lot better.”
There have been so many instances over the last four years where he played games with me. He pushed me away, then he chased me down, and I always went back. I promised myself that I would not do it ever again. I need to have more respect for myself, a lot more than he’s had for me.
“I don’t like it at all,” I tell him. “There’s a reason why I didn’t want to talk you, Alex. Please go away,” I repeat.
He pulls back a little, disappointment clear on his face.
He really thought it would be that easy again.
My guess is that he’s looking for an easy lay, and I’d always been that for him, at least until this last time when he told me in no certain terms that we were through.
I don’t care that he’s changed his mind about us again.
I am done, and I will focus on that only.
Alex stares into my eyes for so long that I suddenly feel intimidated. He has too much power over me. He’s always been able to pull me in somehow, stealing my breath with his kisses, and my body with his touches.
I shake my head in a conscious effort to clear it. I don’t need to be thinking about Alex’s kisses or the way he used to touch my body. All those memories have been permanently erased from my brain, or I’d like to think so.
Perfectly aware that none of my thoughts make any sense, I grab the glass of water and take a long sip. My eyes look around, hoping that my date is heading my way as we speak. Unfortunately, I don’t see anyone walking toward our table, so I am screwed.
“Don’t you have anywhere to be?” I snap at Alex. “Maybe torture someone else with your mental games?”
That throws him off. “What mental games?”
“Hmm, let me think.” I lean back and cross my arms over my chest, tapping one finger against my lips. “How did it always go between us?” I side eye him. “Mona, I want you so much,” I imitate his deeper tone. “Mona, I don’t have time for anyone in my life right now.”
Alex stares at me, the corner of his mouth lifting in the beginning of a smile.
“Mona, I didn’t mean for you to leave. Mona, you’re not the type of person I’d want in my life permanently.”
The smile is no longer on his lips, and his eyebrows are pulled down in a frown.
“Oh, how about my favorite!” I put a finger up as if to get his attention. “Mona, you’re all I think about all the fucking time.” I lower my voice so people wouldn’t hear me swearing. “Mona, I am nobody’s ticket to a free meal.”
“Mona,” he starts.
I put a hand up to stop him. “Please don’t. I’ve heard it all, and I am not interested.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” he protests.
“Based on our history, it’s natural for me to assume that you’d want to ask me to come back to you. The answer is no.”
I lean back in my seat, proud of the way I delivered the message. Way to stand up for myself for once, at least when it comes to him. I don’t have any issues standing up for myself in every other area of my life. Alex needs to be part of that as well.
He places his forearms on the table and interlocks his fingers, like he is in some board meeting.
“You’re right,” he says with no warning. “I didn’t treat you well, and I regret it. I would like to apologize.”
I blink at him, confused as hell. “And…?” Because I am certain he is about to ask me to be with him again.
“And that’s it,” he shrugs. “I was an ass to you before. You didn’t deserve it. I know you hate me now, but I hope you can forgive me at some point, and that we can stay friends.”
“Friends?” The word tastes bitter on my lips.
“Not now…” He chuckles in self-deprecation. “But maybe in the future, we can reach that point where we can be… friends.”
Okay, I really don’t like that word at all. The more he says it, the more I want to slap him.
“I have plenty of friends, but thanks.”
I turn my head to glance toward the entrance of the restaurant, wondering where in the hell my date is.
“Let me buy your dinner tonight,” Alex murmurs from next to me, his breath once again way too close to my ear for comfort.
“What?”
The shock in my tone is real. The Alex I know would rather drop dead than buy me dinner from an expensive restaurant. A cheap one, yes, drinks included. But not something of this caliber.
“Are you high?” I ask him to be sure.
He chuckles softly. “Not high. It’s just a token of my appreciation of you, and also an apology.”
I glance around, wondering if I am being recorded for some weird prank. But I know that Alex is not that immature. However, that little friend of his, Kyle, is immature like that. I wouldn’t put it past him to dare Alex to do something stupid like pranking me on camera.
“I don’t need you to buy me dinner,” I spit at him. “Besides, my date should be here any minute.”
“I can keep you company until he arrives,” Alex smiles at me.
I place shaky fingers on the stem of crystal glass of water in front of me. “That won’t be necessary. I don’t mind waiting alone. I’d prefer it, in fact.”
I am at the point where I can’t deal with having Alex in my space anymore. My body wants to respond to his smell, his smile, the way he looks at me, everything that he does or says. There are just too many memories between us, and I want them to stay buried forever.
“Maybe I can call you sometime,” he tries again.
“You’re blocked, Alex,” I remind him without looking at him.
“Unblock me.”
A knot forms in the pit of my stomach, and my first instinct is to say okay and do just that. But then, I remember there’s a reason I blocked him to begin with.
In the corner of my eye, I notice the hostess heading toward our table, the smile from earlier still firm on her face.
“Miss Higgins, I apologize for interrupting. Mr. Lewis just called to say he is not able to make it tonight. It could not be avoided, and he will contact you directly to explain.”
I’m not sure if the disappointment I’m feeling is caused by Julian not showing up, or by the fact that the message got delivered in Alex’s presence.
“Sounds like you’re available for dinner,” he whispers in my ear.
As if in slow motion, I turn my head to look at him. He is close enough where I could kiss him.
I hate that I want to.