Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
Asher
Kat’s confession slams into me, shocking my heart back to life.
For the past few days, I’ve been living like a shell of a person.
Going through the motions, barely functioning.
Convinced I’d lost her forever, that I’d fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me beyond repair.
And those words she just said knock all the air back into my lungs, make my heart start beating again after days of feeling like it was barely pumping.
Standing in the guest house bedroom earlier, communicating with her through those signs across the distance the way we first did in those early days with texts, my stomach was in knots.
My hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold the cardboard pieces steady.
Shaking with the fear that she would turn away from the window.
That she would shake her head, that her expression would close down and I’d lose her all over again before I even had a chance to fight for her.
But instead, she stayed. She read every single sign. And when I saw her race to the door, saw her burst out into the snow barefoot, my feet carried me outside before I even consciously decided to move. As if something magnetic was pulling me toward her, giving me no choice but to go to her.
She loves me. She actually said it. Not a careful, hedged version of the words designed to protect herself from getting hurt. But the real thing, raw and unguarded and honest.
“I love you too, bright eyes,” I rasp, my voice hoarse. “So fucking much.”
Something flares in her eyes as I say it, so many emotions crossing her face that I can’t even track them all. Relief, joy, fear, hope, love—all of it mixes together in those green eyes I’ve been dreaming about for days.
Then she goes up on her toes at the same moment I drop my head, and our lips collide in a kiss.
It’s messy and desperate. Not pretty or romantic, but real.
Tinged with days of bottled up fear and longing and the terror of thinking we’d lost each other.
The taste of her tears mixes with the sweetness of her mouth as her hands fist in my shirt, pulling me closer as if she’s trying to merge us into one person.
I palm the back of her head, my fingers tangling in her soft hair as I angle her head to deepen the kiss.
I can’t get close enough to her. My tongue slants against hers, tasting her, claiming her. My teeth nip at her bottom lip hard enough to make her gasp. Breathing in her scent, that cinnamon and almond smell that’s been haunting me, I kiss her over and over again, unable to stop.
When we finally pull apart, gasping for air, I rest my forehead against hers.
“I love you so much I can’t even remember what life was like before you,” I confess, the words pouring out.
“I started falling from the very first moment at the airport. When you were panicked but brave enough to drag a stranger into some crazy scheme. I should have known then that you’d break down every wall I ever built around my heart. ”
She laughs through her tears, the sound breaking in the middle. “I’m so fucking glad I said your name that day.”
I grin despite the cold and the fact that we’re both crying now. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close against me, right where she belongs. “I’m so glad I got on that plane.”
I’m about to kiss her again, already leaning down—but then I remember where we are. She’s barefoot in the snow, and I can feel her whole body starting to shiver against me, her teeth chattering slightly from the cold.
“Fuck, it’s too cold to be out here like this.”
She shakes her head, her lips seeking mine. “I don’t care.”
“Well, I care. I just got you back, bright eyes. I’m not risking you getting hypothermia now.”
Without warning, I scoop her up into my arms, one arm under her knees and one behind her back. Her surprised gasp breaks into a sob as she clings to me, her arms locking around my shoulders as she buries her chilled nose in the crook of my neck.
I carry her toward the guest house, shuffling through the snow. The feel of her weight in my arms, the perfect curves of her body against my torso, makes something deep and instinctive settle inside me.
She’s mine. And I’m never letting her go again.
Inside the guest house, the warmth wraps around us immediately. The contrast from the cold outside is a welcome relief, and I carry her straight up to the bedroom without stopping. Then I set her gently on the bed as she looks up at me with those big eyes.
I kneel in front of her, taking each of her frigid feet in my hands. They’re ice cold, freezing to the touch, and it makes my heart squeeze to think of her running out there barefoot just to get to me.
I start rubbing her feet to bring back warmth, my hands working over her skin, trying to get blood flowing again. Then I kiss the top of each foot, aware of her gazing down at me. Emotions swirl between us, so palpable that I can almost taste them, relief and love and need all tangled together.
“Need to get you warm,” I murmur hoarsely, still focused on my task.
“How are you going to do that?” Her voice is shaky and soft.
I look up at her, my chest expanding with feelings I’ve only just recently found the words for. Our gazes lock, her green eyes meeting mine, and rather than answering with words, I reach up slowly, finding the waistband of her pants.
I tug them down, and she shifts her hips to help me, lifting slightly off the bed. I peel her pants and panties off together, sliding them down her legs and off her feet before tossing them aside.
Then I touch and kiss my way up her legs.
Starting at her ankles, my lips press against her skin, covering every inch as I work my way higher—over her calves, her knees, her thighs.
Warming them with my hands and mouth, but also worshipping them.
The soft skin, the curves, every part of her that I thought I’d never get to touch again.
She shivers as I work my way up, and I glance up through my lashes.
“Warming up?”
She nods, her breath hitching as she bites her lip. “Asher…”
There’s a plea in her voice that hits me right behind my ribs. A desperation, a need for me, that makes my cock harden. It’s hard to resist the urge to lay her back on the bed and slide inside her, to get that connection I can tell we’re both craving so badly after days apart.
But I need to touch every part of her first, to reassure myself that this is real. That she’s really here with me, that I haven’t lost her.
So I keep kissing and teasing her, working my way up her inner thighs, then between her legs, where she’s already getting wet for me. I nuzzle her bare pussy, breathing in her addictive scent. Then I tease her clit with my tongue, just a light touch that makes her gasp.
When she’s squirming a little from the attention, I go up on my knees, bringing my face level with her chest. I tug her shirt off, pulling it over her head before reaching around to undo her bra. The clasp gives, and I pull the straps down her arms to free her breasts.
They’re perfect. Full and soft, her nipples already hard from the cold and her arousal.
Leaning in, I suck on one nipple, teasing it with my tongue. Then I move to the other, working them both until they’re hard peaks and Kat is whimpering, making these little sounds in the back of her throat that drive me crazy. Her hands find my hair, gripping tight enough that it almost hurts.
I talk while I work her body, my words muffled against her skin. “I missed this so much. Missed you. Missed touching you, tasting you, hearing these sounds you make.”
I move back to her other breast, sucking hard enough to make her gasp. When I pull back, I hold her gaze as I repeat, “I love you.”
She moans softly, nodding. “I love you too.”
The words hit me all over again, repairing the ragged tear in my heart.
“Say it again,” I beg. “Please.”
She cradles my face in both of her hands, her touch so gentle it makes my throat tight. There are tears on her cheeks and more shining in her eyes as she whispers, “I love you. I love you so much, Asher. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
Fuck. Hearing it over and over again like that sparks something inside me that unravels the last of my restraint, the control that was making me go slow.
Unable to hold back anymore, I haul her into my arms, lifting her off the bed.
Her arms and legs wrap around me automatically as I kiss her hard, swallowing her gasp.
She grinds against my clothed cock, and I carry her over to the window, the one where I held up all those signs, pressing her back against the glass.
She hisses as her bare skin makes contact with the pane, arching toward me slightly.
“Cold?” I ask.
She nods. “A little.”
I grin, adjusting my grip on her thighs. “Don’t worry, bright eyes. I’ll warm you back up.”
My lips claim hers again, my hips rocking against hers as our mouths move together.
My cock is harder than it’s ever been, straining against my jeans.
Finally, unable to take the layers between us anymore, I set her down on her feet so that I can tug off my own clothes.
My shirt goes first as I pull it over my head and toss it aside.
Then I move on to my jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper before kicking off my pants and boxers.
When I’m naked, I kiss her again, long and deep, tasting her. Then I spin her around to face the window, positioning her carefully.
“Put your hands on the glass,” I instruct.
She does, her palms pressing flat against the cold window, shivering from the temperature and anticipation.
I take the opportunity to touch and caress her from this new angle, running my hands over her body.
Down her sides, over her hips, cupping her breasts, never able to get my fill of touching her.
I murmur to her as I tease her, one hand sliding down to slip between her legs. Finding her clit and working it in slow circles.