Chapter Sixteen Summer
Chapter Sixteen
Summer
Something is off with Rowan.
We’re sitting outside at the Kellers’ house. It isn’t a big party, maybe twenty people and most of them couples. I guess that includes me. We’ve pulled outdoor furniture together in a large circle around the firepit.
I’m sitting on Rowan’s lap to free up a chair, and he has his thumb hooked in the belt loop of my jeans and a flask in the other hand.
The alcohol was my second clue that something was wrong.
The first was the quiet ride over. Anytime I speak, he smiles and responds, but he keeps falling into these silences where he gets a contemplative look on his face.
Look, it isn’t that Rowan isn’t a deep thinker, but he usually says what’s on his mind.
He’s acting like a wallflower instead of the life of the party.
Lacey and Vaughn are sitting next to us. She’s talking about a new dance routine they’re working on for homecoming, but I’m only half listening. My body is tense as I keep stealing glances at Rowan. He’s smiling, but even that doesn’t look very convincing. What the hell could be wrong with him?
“I wish I could dance,” I say to Lacey. “Those routines always look so fun.”
“I could teach you.”
“I don’t think I’m teachable. The only rhythm I have is dribbling a ball down the field.”
Rowan lets out a small chuckle. “I doubt that’s true.”
“Me too,” Lacey says and then looks at him. “You on the other hand would make a great cheerleader. The lungs on you tonight were truly impressive.”
“I had to cheer my girl,” he says, a little bashful, then takes another drink from the flask. Whatever it is, it smells strong.
My girl.
Goose bumps race up my arms.
Vaughn swipes the flask from him. “I think you’re done. I need you not to throw up on the side of the field tomorrow.”
“We should probably go,” Lacey tells her boyfriend.
He nods his head. “Yeah, maybe if I go, the rest of the team will take the cue.”
“Or the party can finally start,” Rowan says and tries to get his flask back.
“I’m holding on to this.” Vaughn tucks it in his pocket and stands. He looks to me. “You got him?”
“Yeah. I’ll drive him home.”
“I’ll pick you up in the morning so I know you won’t be late to the bus,” Vaughn tells him.
“I’m fine, Cap. Don’t worry about me.”
Vaughn looks like he believes him as much as I do, but he and Lacey say their goodbyes and head out. A few more people go at the same time, and since it’s going to take some time to get Rowan home, get my car, and head home, I figure we should do the same.
“You were amazing!” MJ hugs me when I tell her and the rest of the team that’s left at the party that I’m going.
“Thanks. You too.”
She grins big and happy.
I wave and smile at the others as I scan the group. When I reach Amanda, she’s looking past me to the guy at my back. My cheeks heat and jealousy hits me so swiftly that I have to remind myself that this was the point.
“Bye, Amanda,” I say to draw her attention to me.
She blinks and drops her gaze. A small, sad smile curves her mouth. “Bye. Nice game tonight.”
Rowan continues his broody silence on the walk to his truck.
“You don’t have to take me home. I can get an Uber,” he says when I hold my hand out for the keys.
“I don’t mind.”
He reaches in his pocket and then drops his keys in my outstretched palm.
His truck is an older model Ford instead of the fancy, new vehicle I’d expect from him.
Even the cheap car my parents let me drive is nicer than this.
Maybe his parents don’t want to spoil him or something.
It takes me a couple tries to get the engine started.
“I don’t know where I’m going,” I tell him as I pull out onto the road.
“Crestwood Hills.”
“Where Mariah Rieger lives?”
“Yeah. We’re neighbors.”
I vaguely remember the way, but what is vivid in my mind are the huge houses in that neighborhood. I guess it makes sense, but I’m still surprised he didn’t mention it.
We ride in more awkward silence until I can’t take it anymore. I need to say something. Anything.
“I noticed Amanda staring at you tonight,” I say.
He makes a grunt like he either thinks I’m mistaken or doesn’t care.
“A few times while we were at Austin’s house and then as we were leaving. I’m pretty certain she’s jealous.” At least the look she was giving him was how I imagined mine looked while I was being jealous of her jealousy. What a freaking mess. I need to pull it together.
“Nah. She and Ronnie had a fight. She’s just bummed about that.”
“They did?” I glance over at him. He’s staring out the window with his head leaned back.
Another grunt of acknowledgment.
“How do you know?” I didn’t hear anyone mention it tonight. Not in the locker room or at the party.
“I talked to her.”
That uneasy prickly feeling that may or may not be jealousy is back. “When?”
“After the game.” He turns to meet my stare. “I was waiting for you, and she came out, so I talked to her.”
That makes sense. It isn’t like I expect him to ignore her. Especially since he’s trying to win her back.
“Did they break up?” My heart races in my chest and I feel…disappointed, I think. This is what he wanted. What I wanted for him. Make Amanda jealous and get her back. Except now that it’s happening, I don’t feel as happy as I think I should.
“No. I don’t think so.”
That’s a small relief, but…not to him. He’s obviously bummed.
“I’m sorry. Do you want to stop…” I can’t bring myself to say fake dating. “This and tell her how you feel?”
“No.” His brows pinch together. “No. We should stick to the plan.”
“But if they’re going to break up, don’t you want to be there for her?”
Instead of answering me with words, he shakes his head.
We’re quiet for the rest of the drive. I pull up in front of Rowan’s giant house. The lights are dark but there’s a shiny silver truck in the driveway.
“Parents home?” I ask, nodding my head toward the vehicle.
“Nah, that’s my other truck.”
He must read the question in my raised brows.
“I never drive it. I like this one better. It was my grandpa’s, and we rebuilt the engine together one summer before he passed.”
“Sentimental.” I nod. “I get it.”
He unbuckles. “Anyway, thanks for driving me. I feel bad that you have to Uber to your car.”
“It’s fine. I think that’s him there.” I glance at the headlights pulling in behind me in the rearview mirror.
“No, it isn’t fine, but…” He lets his voice trail off without finishing.
We get out of the truck and he walks me to the waiting car.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” he says as I open the back passenger door. I bend down to smile at the driver, then look at Rowan.
“Sure.”
“Did Amanda have a good game tonight?”
Of all the questions I thought he might ask, that wasn’t anywhere in the top fifty. Though maybe it should have been. He’s obviously been thinking about her.
“You were at the game,” I say instead of throwing her under the bus. She was a mess tonight, but it happens. Knowing she and Ronnie were fighting, it makes more sense.
He frowns. “Yeah. You’re right.”
Rowan steps back and clears his throat. “Night, Lindsey.”
* * *
“So you’re hanging out together, holding hands, going to each other’s games, but you’re only pretending to like each other?” Jill asks on Saturday night.
She and Charlotte cornered me after work and forced me to Charlotte’s house to explain everything. (Okay, they didn’t force me, but they would have if necessary.)
“Y-yes,” I say the word slowly, which only makes the confused expressions on their faces more prominent. “It’s complicated.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Jill is the first to crack a smile.
I cover my face with both hands and groan.
“I don’t see what the big deal is. You’re helping each other out,” Charlotte says.
I peek out between my fingers in time to see her shrug one shoulder.
I drop my hands and let my shoulders sag. I’m still in my work clothes and I can smell the popcorn butter and fry grease. “Yes, that’s exactly how I was selling it to myself, but it’s harder than I thought to keep things separate.”
“Harder to keep what separate?” Jill asks.
“Our fake relationship and reality.” I’m vague and hope they can read between the lines. I don’t think I can bring myself to say exactly what I’m thinking.
“What’s he like?” Charlotte hugs her knees and looks at me with rapt interest.
“Oh yeah, same question.” Jill’s eyes light up.
I take my time, choosing my words carefully. “He’s really funny and nice. He’s friendly with everyone, but he has a small group of close friends. His relationship with his parents is strained, I think, or at least different than I expected.”
“How so?” Jill asks.
“They’re gone a lot and don’t go to his soccer games.”
“But you saw them at the club,” Charlotte reminds me.
“Yeah.” I nod. “I get the impression they’re just doing other things and Rowan’s on his own a lot.”
“Sometimes I wish my parents were gone…ever. My mom was waiting at the door when I got home from my date last night.” Charlotte rolls her eyes.
We’re temporarily sidetracked from talking about Rowan while Jill and I pepper Charlotte about her movie date with Charlie.
She’s said no to him three times over the past two years because of his name.
Charlotte and Charlie? The similarities are ripe for jokes.
But it went well, and it looks like she’s going to overlook his name for now.
“Tell us more about him,” Jill says, returning the conversation to Rowan.
“And what it’s like to date him,” Charlotte adds.
“Fake date,” I feel compelled to point out.
“I’d fake date him. He’s cute.” Jill waggles her brows, and I ignore the little stab of jealousy at the thought. What the hell is wrong with me?
“He’s sweet, actually, in a playful kind of way. For a guy who hasn’t been in many relationships, he’s pretty good at it.”
“Maybe he’s only a good actor.”
“Could be,” I agree as a pit forms in my stomach. I don’t want to believe that after he was cheering so big and loud for me at the game. Then again, maybe he was only selling the relationship. It’s so confusing.
“What else?” Jill prompts me.
“Okay, he does this thing…”
They both lean in.
“When I’m sitting or standing next to him or I’m on his lap—”
“You sit on his lap?” Charlotte’s eyes go wide like saucers. “Are you kissing him too?”
My pulse picks up speed. “No, of course not.”
Not that I haven’t thought about it. I bet he’d be good at it.
“Don’t interrupt her. She was going to tell us something good.” Jill elbows Charlotte playfully.
I wet my lips and beg my heart rate to normalize. “He sticks his fingers through my belt loops.”
My friends stare at me, confusion etched into their features.
Reaching over, I demonstrate on Jill. She and Charlotte both look at where my finger is hooked around a belt loop on the side of her jeans.
“I don’t get it,” Jill says.
Then I use that finger to tug.
“Oooooh,” they say in unison.
“Plus, the angle is different, so it makes his other fingers brush against my hip and waist and…”
They’re grinning now, and my stomach feels like I executed a perfect back heel flick.
“We’re pretending, but I don’t hate it as much as I should.”
“To recap.” Jill clears her throat. “His parents maybe suck, and your brother hates him. Oh, and he likes Amanda.” Jill makes a face when she mentions my teammate.
“She isn’t as bad as we thought,” I tell them.
“I’m still holding a grudge for how she treated you at the beginning,” Charlotte says.
“Same.” Jill nods.
“She is protective of her team.”
“Which includes you,” Jill points out.
“I know, but we’re good now. We probably won’t ever be besties, but we want the same thing.”
“Rowan?” Charlotte asks with a smirk.
My face heats. “To win and make it to the playoffs this season.”
“And Rowan?” Jill’s brows lift with the question.
I don’t answer outright, but my face is on fire and whatever expression they see makes them both burst out laughing.
“This is baaaaad,” I say. “Right? I can’t actually like him. Leaving out my brother’s feelings and the fact that he’s already pissed I’m helping Rowan and would die if he knew I liked him for real, Rowan doesn’t feel the same. He’s pretending, and now I have to continue to fake it when…”
“You are thinking about jumping him every time he puts his fingers through your jeans’ belt loop?” Jill grins again.
I regret telling them that already, but yes.
“Maybe your feelings aren’t real. Let’s break this down.” Charlotte goes into strategy mode. “When did they start?”
I think back. “I don’t know. One minute I was performing and the next I was thinking maybe we aren’t so bad together.”
“Do you think he feels the same?” Jill asks with a sense of hope that I’d love to share.
“No.” I shake my head and let the disappointment of that answer really sink in. Maybe it’ll help stop me from getting any more attached to the idea of us being a real couple. “He likes Amanda. He wants her back.”
“Feelings change. That was then,” Charlotte says.
“Before the faking and him seeing how great you are. You vs. Amanda—the choice is easy.” Jill waves a hand like it’s no contest.
“They have history.”
“Not all history is good. Didn’t you say she cheated on him?” Jill has a point. What in the world could she have been thinking? And with Ronnie? The guy is cute, for sure, but he’s no Rowan.
“He says they were casual.” I lift one shoulder and let it fall. If he doesn’t hold it against her, how can I?
Jill reaches over and squeezes my leg. “I still say you’re the better choice.”
“Your brother would seriously lose his shit if you dated Rowan for real.” Charlotte’s mouth pulls into a grimace.
“Don’t I know it,” I mutter. “But it doesn’t matter. Last night Rowan told me that Amanda and Ronnie are fighting. And the first person she confided in was him.”
“You think they’re going to get back together then?” Charlotte asks at the same time Jill asks, “She ran to him even though you two are dating?”
I answer Jill first. “I don’t think it was like that.” Then I look to Charlotte. “Yeah. I do.”
Between everything I know about their history and on-and-off-again relationship and Rowan’s feelings for her, the longing way she looks at him sometimes, and the weird behavior from Rowan last night, I’d say it’s only a matter of time.
“Did you at least get what you wanted out of this thing?” Charlotte asks.
Jill nods. “Yeah. How is it going with the FLU admissions lady?”
“Good. I think she likes me, and I signed up to help with another event.”
“But have you asked her about your chances of getting in?”
I shake my head, feeling a little ashamed. I’m usually a person with a plan, but in this instance, I’ve just gone with the flow.
“Ask her,” Charlotte demands. “Before it’s too late and you don’t have the connection anymore.”
“You mean when Rowan and I fake break up?” That pit in my stomach doubles in size.
“If he’s getting what he wants out of this, then you should too,” Jill says, and honestly, it’s a good reminder.
“Thank you. I will. I promise.”
There’s a beat of silence and then Charlotte laughs.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
Her laughter gets louder, and she stops just long enough to get out, “Holy crap, you’re Rowan Blakenship’s girlfriend!”