Chapter Nineteen Rowan
Chapter Nineteen
Rowan
Summer aims a shy smile at me the next morning when I show up at her locker before first period.
“Hey.” She clutches her notebook against her chest.
“Hey,” I reply, my gaze inadvertently dropping to her mouth. I replayed that kiss for hours last night. And this morning. I was almost late to school because of that kiss.
Her face flushes. Yep, I’d say I’m not the only one thinking about it.
“I brought you something,” I say, digging in my front pocket.
Her brows arch as she waits for me to pull out my hand. I reach out and open my palm to reveal the blue and pink flower ring.
She giggles, and the tension around us dissipates.
“Is that a paper ring?” she asks.
“Mm-hmm.” I pluck it between my thumb and pointer finger and then take her hand, fitting it onto her middle finger.
“This is so cute,” she says, admiring it. “Did you make it?”
“Of course. Finally got to use my origami skills for something other than fortune catchers.” It took a few tries to remember how to do it, and then I had to rummage around to find supplies. I cut and folded a bunch of tiny strips of paper, then connected them.
The final result is a zigzag pattern with pink on top and blue on the bottom. Then I made a tiny pink rose and attached it to the ring. My fingers hurt from folding so many pieces of paper, but it was worth it to see the smile on her face now.
“Thank you.” She holds her hand up in the air, admiring my craftiness.
“Perfect.” I wink and then take her hand to lead her to class.
Mr. Hayes puts on a movie in first period. I don’t see any of it. Summer takes notes, and I watch her. I push my desk up so that the front of mine touches the back of hers and I play with her hair. She keeps looking over her shoulder as I do my best to distract her.
Then at lunch she’s working on her FLU admissions letter. I pull her right leg on top of mine under the cafeteria table.
“You should work on your letter too,” she says with a grin.
“I’m composing it in my head,” I say, then drop my mouth to her shoulder.
I kind of can’t get enough of her. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way.
“Kristy can’t review it for you if you don’t write it,” she reminds me.
It was nice of Kristy to agree to do that, but it only matters that she does it for Summer. She deserves the best chance at getting into her top choice school.
“I’m not even sure I want to go,” I say.
“I know, but it gives you options while you figure it out.”
I bob my head. She isn’t wrong.
“Have you considered telling your parents?”
I answer her question with my own. “That I don’t know what I want to do with my life?”
“Yeah.”
“I tried a couple times, but they have it set in their minds. They’ve been talking about me going to FLU and taking over the business for as long as I can remember.”
“Your mom said you wanted to work there when you were younger.”
“Yeah, when I was like five. I just wanted to be wherever my parents were, and they were always at work, you know? I thought if I worked there, then I could spend time with them. But I grew out of that.” The three of us being a family and doing stuff together like my friends did with their families.
Now I realize they want me to take over so they can do other things—retire, travel, whatever.
And that’s okay. I’ve made my peace with it, but I’m not going to work a job I don’t want because I think it will change anything. It won’t.
“I’m sorry.” Her hand drops to the top of my thigh.
“It’s okay.”
She hums like maybe she disagrees, then her stare drops to my mouth. My lips twitch with amusement as heat pumps through me.
“Thinking about kissing me right now, aren’t you, Lindsey?”
“Definitely not.” Her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
“You’re going to get me detention,” I say as I consider kissing her right here. I’m sure some teacher is watching us right now, just waiting for us to cross the line so they can send us to the principal’s office.
The bell rings. Everyone moves around us like they’re eager to get to their next period. Not me. The only reason I’m not blowing off the rest of the day and spending it kissing her is because Summer would probably regret it if I got her in trouble. So I stand and pull her to her feet.
“Saved by the bell.”
* * *
“Yo!” Austin waves a hand in front of my face.
“Sorry.” I blink and then pull my gaze away from the back field where the girls’ team is practicing.
“Vaughn is going to blow a gasket if you don’t lock in.”
“I’m locked.”
He cocks one brow.
“We were all worried about you partying away the year, but instead you’re in a new relationship haze. I did not see this coming.”
“I am not in…whatever this is,” I say so I don’t have repeat the phrase. “And I’m here. I’m good.”
He looks like there’s more on his mind, so I keep staring until he blows out a breath.
“This is a big deal. Senior year. One last chance. Redemption. Champions. Any of this ringing a bell?”
“Yeah, of course.” I want all those things too. I just don’t spend as much time as him or Vaughn stressing about it.
Still, he looks skeptical.
“Am I not here every day, putting in the work like everyone else?”
“Yeah,” he says in a way that implies there’s a but coming.
Irritating thoughts run through me like needles poking my skin. “Say what you need to say, Disco.”
“It’s important to me. To Vaughn. To a lot of us. And I get that soccer isn’t in your future plans, but we need you. We want to do this with you. One last ride to state championships, then we’ll relax. I promise.”
I hear him. I don’t agree with everything he’s said, but he’s telling me to step it up and I respect the nudge. “One last ride. Let’s do this thing.”
I hold out my hand. He takes it and pulls me against his chest, slapping me on the back in the process.
“Thank you,” he says as he steps back. The relief on his face is another indication of just how much he’s been stressing about me. Fuck, it’s like they all expect the worst. I put my everything into our games, same as them.
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to come over tonight?” Austin asks. “Vaughn and the twins are stopping by to watch the Brayson game from last week.”
“I can’t. Summer is taking me to the best pizza place in all of Oakley.” There’s no way it’s better than Freddie’s.
That look of doubt is back on his face.
“Send it to me,” I say. “I’ll watch it later tonight.”
* * *
“Well?” Summer asks. She’s sitting across from me in a booth at Momma Vi’s, watching me chew.
I swallow the bite and nod. “Good.”
A pleased smile curves her lips. “Better than Freddie’s?”
“It’s a tie.”
“There are no ties!” The look of outrage on her face over pizza is cute.
“Sure there are.” I go in for another big bite. It’s really good. Possibly even better than Freddie’s, but there’s something nostalgic about that place that will always make it my favorite.
“I think your taste buds are broken.” She grabs her own slice and digs in. A little moan slips from her lips as she chews.
I still haven’t stopped thinking about kissing her, and that noise is not helping.
“How was practice today?” she asks, apparently not having the same loss of control over her thoughts as me.
“Good. Fine.” My brows tug together as I think back to the end. “Okay.”
She picks up on my uncertainty. “What happened?”
“Nothing. It’s just something Austin said.”
Silently, she continues to stare at me, waiting for me to continue.
“Basically, he told me that I wasn’t taking things seriously and wanted to make sure I was going to step it up.”
Her brows lift.
“He didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was implied.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. And I think he was upset that I wasn’t going to his house tonight to watch game clips because I had plans with you.”
“You could have gone,” she says like she thinks I wanted to do that instead of being here.
“No, I want to be here. I guess that’s his point. I’m not built like him or Vaughn. I don’t obsess for days on end leading up to a game.”
“And you think because that’s how he wants you to show up that your way is wrong?”
“Maybe,” I admit. “It’s more that he thinks I don’t care about the outcome. I don’t need to be planning a future around soccer to want to win this season.”
I’ve been playing for a long-ass time, many of those years with these same guys. Of course I want to go out on top. I want it as much as any of them. Maybe more. This is my last season. I’m not moving on to another team. This is it for me.
“Did you tell him that?”
I shrug one shoulder. “More or less.”
She lets out a small laugh that loosens the tightness in my shoulders. I don’t want the guys worrying about me, and I definitely don’t like the idea of them thinking I’m not locked in.
“You’re a fantastic soccer player. If Austin’s worried, it’s probably more about him than you.”
“Meaning?”
“We project our worries onto other people. Especially in a sport like soccer where we have to rely on our teammates so heavily.”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“He wants to know that you’re going to have his back in case he screws up.”
“Austin is having an amazing season and he’s already talking to several colleges. He’ll have his pick.”
“Which probably only puts more pressure on him this season.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
She rests both elbows on the table and stares at me like I’m interesting or complicated or…fuck, I don’t know, but I like it.
“You’re fun and easygoing, and you’re always joking around.” Something about the way she says all of it tells me this isn’t a positive thing, but these are the attributes people love about me.
“Yeah.”
“Because you’re rarely serious, you’re not always easy to read. Sometimes you come across so nonchalant, like nothing bothers you and whatever happens, you’ll be fine. And that makes it hard for people like Austin or Vaughn or me when we wear our feelings so openly for everyone to see.”
“Really?”
She nods.
“Huh.” I consider that. I guess what she says is true. “You’re not that easy to read either, not outside of soccer.”
“No?”
I shake my head.
“What do you want to know?”
My mouth hitches up on one side. “Have you thought about kissing me all day?”
Her face flushes. Maybe she is easy to read.
“Not all day.”
“Let’s get out of here.” I tip my head toward the door.
“We haven’t finished the pizza.”
I lift one brow. Like I care about food right now.
“Okay.” She laughs.
I stand and then take her hand. I use it to tug her against me.
“In case I’m not easy to read right now, I’m planning to kiss you senseless as soon as we get in my truck.”