Chapter 20
The back patio is mostly empty despite the heavy rush inside Timberline Café, but that suits me just fine. I can already tell from the looks Cassidy is giving me that she’s going to say something ridiculous, and I could really use a break from being the hot spot for Grapevine gossip.
Luck must really be on my side because Maggie’s been too busy to linger for longer than it takes to drop off coffee and my favorite waffles. This day just keeps looking up.
Taking that first sip of brain juice, I prepare myself for the inquisition. I’m not waiting long.
She leans her elbows on the table, propping her face up on her hands.
Her long blonde hair is pulled into a high ponytail, which she swings back and forth like a pendulum.
Then she smiles, lips wide and full and eyes sparkling with barely concealed glee.
“Sooo… You and the guys are, like, officially official now, right?”
One brow lifts, my coffee pausing mid-air. “I don’t remember being asked or even agreeing to that.”
“Oh, c’mon!” Her eyes roll dramatically. “Y’all have been teasing around the issue, but anyone who sees you together knows there’s nothing fake about the feelings between all of you.”
Savoring the burst of coffee on my tongue, I think about the last few days and the massive bag of mixed feelings I’ve been sifting through. There are so many what-ifs that my head is spinning. Maybe talking it through would help? It definitely can’t hurt at this point.
“Is it really that simple though, Cass? We’re not kids anymore.
We’re adults with real lives. The boys have football, and lord only knows where that will take them while I’m planting some firm roots here with the bookstore.
Then there’s all the past bullshit that we’ve just begun to wade through.
” My eyes stray to the grassy area surrounding the patio that leads all the way back to the forested area beyond as I seek the right words to explain what I’m feeling.
“I loved them once, though I don’t think I knew it then.
Losing them left scars that I tried to heal in any way I could.
I moved away and found someone else to fill that void, and we both know how that turned out.
Now I’m back here, in their space, fighting old feelings that have rushed back to the surface.
How am I supposed to know the difference between a teenage girl’s puppy love and the real thing that means forever? ”
Her fingers drum along the wooden tabletop as she studies me. “I’ve never been in love, so I can’t really help you there. But in the books I’ve read, there’s always signs.”
“You read books?” I deadpan.
“Hardy har har. You’re hilarious.” She reaches into her crossbody bag and pulls out a smutty romance with multiple men on the cover. “In fact—side note—I’d like you to widen the bookstore’s why choose selection. It’s pitiful, considering it’s an East Enders store.”
I give her a salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now, back to the whole love thing. Do you miss them when they’re not with you?”
A memory of last night, including how lonely I was by myself in bed, flashes in my mind.
“I’m going to say the answer to that is a yes based on the fierce blush you’ve got going on right now. So, check. Okay, next one. Do you find yourself wanting to tell them something that just happened or something you just saw?”
My eyes fall to my phone where not more than an hour ago I texted a photo to our group chat of Hemingway perched in my lap like he was attempting to read the book I’d been devouring.
“But friends do that too,” I argue lamely, meeting her amused stare.
“Check!” she chirps giddily. “Now, here’s the real clincher. When you think of a life without them, how do you feel?”
Those words alone have my gut sinking and my chest tightening, making it hard to breathe.
She laughs. “Girl, you look like I just kicked your puppy…or maybe your raccoon would be a more accurate analogy? Whatever. Just admit it. You’re totally in love with the guys. Acceptance is the first step to healing. You’re welcome.”
Am I really in love with them? I mean, sure, we always have a good time together.
And yes, they make me feel safe and secure in a way that’s wholly unexpected and new.
When I’m with them, there’s this sense of completeness that fills up my entire being.
They take every opportunity to make me feel like I’m special, and they never act like it’s out of some warped sense of obligation.
They do it because they want to. If I’m honest with myself, they do it because they want me.
They’ve told me as much, right? But I’ve been over here fighting that reality because I didn’t trust it even though with each passing moment, I’m starting to accept that they’re worth the risk.
“Holy shit,” I whisper, eyes wide and heart pounding.
“Ahhh. There it is.” She pats my hand on the tabletop. “My little Nikki just realized she’s in love. How adorable.”
I yank my hand back, fighting down a bubbling sense of happiness and a healthy dose of fear. “Oh, shut it, you. I’ll remember this when you find yourself lovestruck and clueless.”
She laughs. “As if that will ever happen. I’ve got zero time for relationships.
Between the show and apparently three new understudies that have little to no acting experience, I’m gonna have my hands full as it is.
I’ll just live vicariously through you, although there’s still a firm rule in place regarding sex talk where my brother is concerned.
I will, however, accept any and all stories about the other two hunks you’ve saddled yourself with. ”
There’s one question that keeps floating around in my brain, and it spills out before I can stop it, giving voice to my biggest fear. “But what if this isn’t serious for them? What if they haven’t thought beyond this month, hell, let alone the next six?”
“Right. Because dudes totally go to a ton of trouble securing ghost hunting equipment and a picnic meal based solely off of a memory from over half a decade ago to surprise the girl they just want to fuck.” She gives me a look like I’m quite possibly the dumbest person on the planet.
“Be so fucking for real right now, Nik. You are way smarter than that.”
I blink. Then blink again. “Well, when you put it like that…”
“Exactly.”
“You’re lucky I like you.”
“Nah, bitch. You love me. Might as well accept that too for both our sakes.”
A smile spreads across my face just as the sound of a throat clearing beside us draws my attention to the well-dressed scumbag taking up too much space at the side of the table.
“Annika, it’s been increasingly difficult to find a moment to talk to you alone without one of your escorts interrupting. Please, I’d just like a few moments—”
Cass’s eyes narrow. “She doesn’t want anything to do with you, ex-hole. Get that through your thick skull.”
He doesn’t even bother to look her way. “I’d like the opportunity to remind you of all you’re giving up and all that you’re willing to walk away from.”
This man simply won't take no for an answer, and I’m done with his bullshit.
I stand from my seat, fury making my hands shake.
“I think you keep forgetting the part where I did exactly that. I walked away. Flew thousands of miles without a single ounce of remorse, in fact. Yet you can’t seem to get it through your thick head that we are over, and to be frank, I’m done giving you reminders. Let this be the last one.”
When I turn to walk inside, his hand latches onto my elbow. “Annika, I don’t need to tell you how displeased Father will be if—”
I throw his hand off. “Your father is none of my concern.”
“But, darling, if you’d just listen for once, we could move on from this whole messy situation.”
“I’m not your darling, and I don’t need to listen to anything you have to say.”
“But you’ll listen to those neanderthals that you spread your legs for—”
My hand flies through the air without conscious thought, and the sound of my palm hitting his cheek reverberates through the quiet courtyard.
Fuck, that’s gratifying. How long have I wanted to smack some sense into this idiotic man-child?
Clapping soon follows. Now just a few feet away, Carson is heading toward us, flanked by Roscoe and Owen, who have fire in their eyes.
“For the last goddamn time, get the fuck away from our girl.” Carson steps into Frederick’s face, and the other man manages to shrink back just the slightest bit. “And get the hell out of Cedar Vale. We don’t want to see your face in town again.”
“If you won’t listen to them, then you’ll be dealing with us.”
The warning is accompanied by the sight of Dre, Tennyson, and Banks stalking over from the opposite side of the café.
Frederick’s eyes go wide. “Jesus, Annika. Three more? Are you fucking—”
“Do not finish that sentence, asshole,” my brother growls. “If you actually cared about Nik, you’d know I’m her twin brother and I’m goddamned tired of you interfering in my sister’s life.”
Frederick scans the growing crowd, his face beginning to pale. “Annika, I—”
“One more word,” Carson snarls, the pissed-off mask that’s overtaken his face completely unlike the easy going, funny man I know, “and I will end you.”
“Permanently,” Roscoe adds.
Frederick looks over at me, his brows pinched tight. “Fine.”
He pushes between the guys who have congregated around him and heads back toward Main Street.
When he’s gone, Owen’s large hands grip my arms while he looks me over. “You okay, love bug?”
“I’m fine, Goldilocks. He didn’t touch me.”
“He better be damn glad he didn’t because there isn’t a person in this town who could stop me from pummeling that jackass into an early grave,” Dre mutters.
Looking around at the two groups of men now swarming our table, I ask, “What in the hell are you all doing here, anyway?”
“We missed you,” Roscoe states simply, not giving a damn that we have an audience.
Carson shrugs. “And we knew Cass wouldn’t mind if we crashed your coffee date.”
Cass raises her hand. “Um… Cass does mind, very much actually, but she’s also grateful you got that prick out of here.”
“You’re welcome,” Banks replies, eyeing Cass up and down. “You know, Levins, you’re looking mighty fine this morning.”
Carson punches Banks’s shoulder. “Keep those hands to yourself, dickhead, or you’ll be eating your teeth for breakfast.”
Dre rolls his eyes. “Oh, the fucking double standard.”
“We might need to start a Dating Your Bro’s Sister support group,” Tenny quips.
Cass’s nose scrunches up in disgust. “Y’all are insane if you think I’d come within ten feet of those pipes in your pants. Lord only knows how many women’s cabinets they’ve plumbed.”
“Ouch, babe.” Banks’s hand rubs his chest. “We ain’t that bad.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “The Grapevine says otherwise.”
As the rest of the group starts to argue over the reputation my brother and his friends have earned—and let’s be honest, I don’t want to hear about my brother’s sexcapades either—my guys surround me.
“You really okay, books?” Cars asks.
“I promise. I can handle Frederick.”
“Gotta admit, that slap was fucking spectacular.” Roscoe’s hands grip the sides of my face as he leans in. “But I want you to be extra careful when we’re not with you. I don’t like that he’s still here and still popping up unexpectedly.”
“Don’t worry, big guy. I’ve got an ace up my sleeve. If he doesn’t leave soon, I’ll use it.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better, baby girl.” Roscoe kisses my forehead, then releases me. “But I’ll trust you to handle it.”
“Thank you. All of you.”
Owen’s hand warms my lower back. “For what, Nik?”
“For always being right where I need you. Even if I’m more than capable of dealing with that asshole myself, it’s kinda nice not to have to do it alone.”
“You’ll never have to face anything alone as long as you have us, books.” Carson leans in until we’re nose to nose, our eyes locking for the briefest moment before he presses a short, sweet kiss on my lips. “That’s a promise.”
The funny thing is… I finally believe him.