Chapter 23 #2
My stomach heaves, and I’m worried I might throw up.
His sick and twisted words weave their way into my conscious thought, tumbling around each other until they make a fucked-up sort of sense.
I know for sure that Owen is being actively scouted by the Reapers.
Dre has griped about that enough times to burn it into my psyche.
I’ve heard rumors that Carson and Roscoe also have teams actively engaged in talks over potential futures with their teams. Major football contracts come with hefty sign-on bonuses.
They also require the player to move to the state in which they’ll be playing.
But we could make a long-distance thing work, right?
People do it all the time. But they’d still be missing out.
Nights spent with the team, being the awkward odd man out when the others bring dates to their glittering events…
How could all three of them explain the singular me to the scrutinizing public?
They’d never be able to fully fit into their new lives with me anchoring them back to Cedar Vale.
“I can see I’ve finally gotten through to you, darling.
” He lifts up a strand of hair, rolling it around his fingers.
“And before you start to think about all the ways you could still make this work, ask yourself this. Do you really think they’d leave you alone for months on end?
Or is it more likely that they’d give up their dreams to stay here with you? ”
He’s right, I realize with a sick sense of dread.
They’d never leave me. They’d walk away from the futures they had planned out long before I returned in order to stay in Cedar Vale and make a future with me.
I’ll be damning them to the same sort of fate I’d have had if I stayed with Frederick—even if the end results are polar opposites.
“What do you want from me?” I rasp.
“I’ve come to terms with the fact that you don’t want to be mine, but I thought it only fair that you finally accept we’re really quite the same, darling. Maybe then you’ll realize that at least with me, you all end up rich, not having to worry about the future and this dead-end town.”
Looking up into the brown eyes of the man I once thought I would marry, I find the face of a stranger staring back at me.
But the sickening thoughts he’s put in my head are gaining momentum with each passing second.
I’m not sure I could ever let myself go back to him, but I’m also fairly sure I can’t let them ruin their futures either.
“I need some time…”
“Of course, darling. You know where to find me when you’re ready to come back to me. Cedar Vale Inn. Room three-oh-one. I’m not going anywhere until you agree to be mine.”
He walks out, and I stand there, staring at his back until the door shuts behind him.
The first tear falls as I contemplate my next move.
The future I’d only just decided I wanted now seems as exciting as a death sentence.
I can’t condemn them to a fate I, myself, wouldn’t accept.
That much, at least, is abundantly clear.
“Nik? What the hell are you doing? Bea is frantic. Said she sent you in here over ten minutes ago.”
Cassidy’s voice draws me out of the new hell that is my mind. Whatever I’m feeling must be written all over my face because she steps inside and lets the door close behind her.
“Hey, are you okay? What happened?”
Shaking my head, I try to fight back the tears that are falling faster. “I’m fine. I just…”
What can I say? I can’t tell her the truth. This is Carson’s sister. She’ll just tell him everything, then they’ll try to convince me that this is what they want. That they don’t want the future they’ve worked hard for the last three years.
“I think I made the wrong choice,” I whisper, knowing what I have to do even though it makes me want to barf.
“Made the wrong choice about what? You’re not making a lot of sense, Nik.”
I stare at the gavel in my hand, realizing this is the only chance I might get. It’s my one chance to make a clean break and set the stage for what will happen after.
“Here. Run this to Bea. There’s something I have to do.”
“You’re freaking me out right now, Annika. Why can’t you give it to her?”
“Please, Cass. Just do me this one favor. I won’t ask for anything else.”
Her head tilts. “That’s an odd thing to say. You’re literally dating my brother. Plus, we’re friends. You can ask for my help any time.”
“Pretty sure that’s about to change,” I mutter under my breath. “Here, please just get this to her. I need to go.”
Shoving the gavel into her hand, I stalk past her and out the door.
I head for the apartment with a clear-cut plan in mind.
It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life.
But I’ll put on the performance of a lifetime because this isn’t about me.
It’s about ensuring they don’t throw away their futures even though I’m doing exactly that in order to make sure they’re happy.