Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
RYKER
I emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, droplets of water clinging to my shoulders as I ran my fingers through my damp hair. Steam followed me into the bedroom like a personal cloud, dissipating as I crossed the threshold.
Harley lounged on the bed, with one arm tucked behind his head as he scrolled through his phone. He didn’t look up, but he had that little smile that meant he was amused by whatever fresh hell was happening in my head.
After dating for a month, I didn’t even think twice about walking around half-naked anymore, not even with him sprawled across the bed we now shared.
Before we dated, I would’ve hidden in the bathroom until I was fully dressed.
Now? Our relationship had mellowed into something comfortable. Too comfortable, maybe.
I lingered by the dresser, pretending to look for clothes while stealing glances at him.
The soft glow from the bedside lamp caught the angles of his face.
It highlighted his jawline in a way that made my stomach trebuchet itself into my throat with such force that my composure was launched over the defensive walls of my dignity and directly into the moat of “Oh, fuck me, he’s so hot. ”
“Are you planning on putting clothes on, or are you planning to drip all over the floor?” Harley asked without glancing up from his phone.
“I’m contemplating the merits of both options,” I replied, but didn’t move toward the dresser.
A specific thought had been playing on an endless loop in my head for days.
We had settled into a pattern with sex. A very specific pattern where he always bottomed for me.
At first, I’d been grateful for his patience as I navigated the unfamiliar territory of being with another man.
But after a month, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing out on something important.
More importantly, it felt unfair. Unbalanced. Like I was taking without giving back in the same way.
I cleared my throat. “So, I’ve been thinking.”
Harley set his phone down to give me his full attention. “What’s on your mind, snookums?”
I shifted my weight, the damp towel barely hiding my shame. I was a grown man, but I couldn’t spit out a simple request to my boyfriend.
He raised an eyebrow at my obvious nervousness. “Okay, now I’m worried. What’s going on?”
“I want to bottom tonight,” I blurted out, heat flooding my cheeks.
Harley’s face froze in an expression of surprise, his mouth slightly open as he stared at me. Then his lips twitched, and despite his visible effort to maintain composure, he burst into laughter. “Are you joking right now?”
I huffed indignantly, crossing my arms over my chest. “No, I’m being serious. What’s so funny about that?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Harley said, reining in his laughter as he sat up straighter. “Please continue. It’s just—your delivery was so…”
“So what?” I challenged.
“So you,” he finished, his eyes softening. “Like you were announcing you’ve decided to try a new breakfast cereal.”
I sighed, dropping my arms to my sides. “Well, excuse me for not having a sexy speech prepared. I thought direct communication was supposed to be good.”
“It is,” Harley assured me, patting the edge of the bed. “Come here.”
I hesitated before sitting down beside him, adjusting my towel to make sure it stayed in place.
“It doesn’t seem fair that you always bottom.
I mean, you’ve been amazing about everything, letting me set the pace and figure things out.
But it feels one-sided, which bothers me.
I don’t want you to think I’m not willing to try. ”
The laughter in Harley’s eyes faded, replaced by a focused stillness. “You have my attention.”
“I know I’ve been worried about some stuff,” I continued, looking down at my hands. “And I’m sure I’m overthinking everything. But you’ve been so patient, and it matters to me you’re getting what you want, too.”
“What makes you think I’m not getting what I want?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because relationships are supposed to be about give and take? And so far, it feels like I’ve been doing a lot of taking by only giving.”
“Ryker,” Harley said, reaching out to tilt my chin up so I’d look at him. “I’ve been having the time of my life with you. I haven’t been making some noble sacrifice.”
“But don’t you want to be on top sometimes?”
An amused smile bloomed on his face. “Are you asking if I want to top you because you think it’s what I want or because it’s what you want?”
I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again. It was a fair question. “Both? I mean, I’m curious. And I want you to have everything you want. And I don’t want to be the guy who’s too insecure to try new things with his boyfriend. How bad can it be, right? That many gay men can’t be wrong.”
Harley studied me, his amusement softening into something more thoughtful. “We don’t have to change anything about what we’re doing. It’s perfectly okay if you never feel up to it.”
“I’m sure,” I said, straightening my shoulders as if preparing for battle rather than sex with my boyfriend. “I’ve been considering it for a while now. I’m ready to face the final frontier.”
“The final frontier?” Harley repeated, his lips twitching.
“You know what I mean. Your monster cock is basically the USS Enterprise, and my ass is the unexplored galaxy.”
He threw his head back and howled with laughter. “Did you compare your ass to outer space?”
“It’s vast and mysterious,” I deadpanned, which only made him laugh harder. “Look, I know I’m being weird about this, but I’m nervous, okay?”
“Do you want one of those weird Space Seltzers to take the edge off things?”
I shook my head. “No, but if the Pulsar Pineapple flavor taught me anything, it’s that some experiences defy description until you’re in the middle of them wondering what choices led you here.
But I figure if I can survive Nebula Nectar tasting like bitter sunshine filtered through a wormhole, I can survive this. ”
“Are you telling me those terrible hard seltzers gave you the courage to let me fuck you?”
“They’ve prepared me for sensations that shouldn’t exist in the physical world,” I said with mock solemnity. “Consider this my training montage. Besides, can you blame me? Your dick is intimidating. It’s big enough to have its own gravitational pull.”
“Keeping with the space theme, I see,” Harley said, wiping tears of amusement from his eyes.
“I’m just saying, I’ve seen what that thing can do. It belongs in some kind of dick museum.”
Harley’s shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. “A dick museum?”
“Yeah, you know, where they keep all the historically significant penises. Yours would be in the ‘Too Big to Be Believed’ exhibit. I bet they’d make dildos of you to sell in the gift shop.
Every purchase comes with a complimentary bottle of industrial-strength lube, a stretching routine pamphlet, and an insurance waiver. ”
“Stop,” he gasped between fits of laughter.
“The premium version would have a suction cup base, but they’d have to include a warning that attaching it to vertical surfaces might damage your wall: ‘Not recommended for apartment dwellers. All security deposits will be forfeit. Side effects may include an inability to sit comfortably, walking funny, spontaneous moaning, and ruining all future partners.’ Meanwhile, the limited-edition glass one would double as a weapon in case of home invasion. ”
“Seriously, stop,” Harley begged, clutching his stomach. “I’m going to pass out from lack of air from laughing too hard.”
I could have kept joking for ages, but I restrained myself. “Sorry, this is how I cope with knowing I’m about to attempt to cram the eighth wonder of the world inside my ass.”
Harley sat up, his expression shifting to something more serious, despite the smile on his lips. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?”
“Yeah, I have. I want to try. I mean, I’m scared your anaconda will eat me, but I need to know what it feels like so I can stop being afraid.”
Harley’s voice dropped to that low, gravelly tone that never failed to make my dick hard.
We had made a rule he could only use it in the bedroom after an embarrassing incident at a restaurant where I’d refused to stand for twenty minutes when everyone was ready to leave, insisting I was “savoring the atmosphere” while our friends’ suspicions grew with my discomfort.
“If you’re determined, then I guess we should. ”
“Just go easy on me. Your dick is classified as a lethal weapon in at least twelve states.”
He snickered. “Only twelve?”
“The paperwork for the other thirty-eight is still being processed.”
He stood up, every move deliberate, from the way his shoulders flexed to an invisible magnetism that drew my gaze to him. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. “You’ll be fine. I’ll take good care of you.”
I swallowed hard, watching as he pulled his T-shirt over his head. “You’re staring.”
“Can you blame me?”
He pushed his gray sweatpants down, stepping out of them with a grace that seemed unfair. He wasn’t wearing underwear, revealing his cock, already half-hard and, yep, still intimidating as hell.
“How does it look bigger every time I see it?” I blurted out.
“Are you trying to talk yourself out of this?”
“No, I’m making an observation.” I licked my lips nervously. “For science.”
“For science,” he echoed with a snort. “Well, in the interest of scientific discovery, maybe we should see how it compares to yours.”
He reached for my towel, his fingers brushing against my hip as he tugged at the fabric. I let it drop to the floor, heat rising to my cheeks as I stood there naked. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me before, but something felt different.
Harley stepped closer, his body radiating heat as he cupped my face in his hands. “We stop when you need to stop. And for the record, your ass is definitely more impressive than outer space.”