Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Dakota
B y the time five o’clock rolls around, I am ready to go home, kick off my heels, and open the bottle of white wine in my fridge that has been calling my name all day. My afternoon didn’t get any better since receiving Chance’s flowers. In fact, it only got worse, as if the universe was reminding me that bringing anything from him into my life asked for nothing but destruction.
Pushing the doors from the office lobby open, I take a deep breath, taking in the early evening air. It is still hot from the afternoon sun, but it smells like heaven after being in my office all day.
“You know I don’t like to be kept waiting,” a deep voice that I know all too well shoots through my body. My eyes snap open to find Chance waiting for me, looking sexy as hell as he leans against the side of his truck. He’s wearing his signature black cowboy hat and sunglasses, which shield his face from me, but I would recognize him anywhere. Recognize the voice anywhere.
I soak in his tall frame, clothed in clean denim and a button-up black shirt. As sexy as he looks right now, all I can think of is the other night, and how amazing he looks out of them.
Which completely goes against the vow I made with myself just a few short hours ago.
I catch a few women on the street looking his way and can’t help but smile to myself when I realize that he never stops looking at me. Or, at least he doesn’t turn his head toward them since I can’t see his eyes behind his dark tinted glasses. I can’t mistake the weight of his gaze on me, and how, the closer I get to him, the straighter he stands.
No, he’s looking directly at me, and I’m drinking it in, like I’m dying of thirst.
As soon as I’m within distance, he grabs me and pulls me into him; one arm wraps around the small of my back, one hand in my hair and he kisses me.
Holy hell, does he kiss me.
If there was ever a shred of a doubt in anyone’s mind that we were together, this borderline obscene kiss he’s giving me right now would convince them.
Hell, I’m nearly converted.
His tongue runs along the seam of my lips, demanding me to part for it. I deny him at first, needing to put up a little bit of a fight so I feel some sense of control, only to have him hold my hair in his fist tighter, letting me know he’s not going to be putting up with any of my sass at the moment—which makes me smile.
I give in, knowing that we need to sell our relationship in a way that’s never been done with him before. People in Whiskey Falls need to know that I am the true anti-buckle bunny and I’m going to stay around longer than any woman has before.
Not much longer—since the rodeo isn’t far away—but longer than any woman has before.
“Well, hello, Cowboy,” I saw hoarsely once he pulls back, still keeping me in his embrace. “What do I owe the surprise?”
“I wanted to see you,” he answers simply, straightening and letting go of my hair, only to take my briefcase from me. “Plus, I told you in the note we were having dinner tonight.”
He opens his truck door and places my briefcase gingerly inside, still holding on to my waist.
I decide to let the command of our dinner date go, not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of the street.
“Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful. Plus, they caused a stir in the office. I couldn’t so much as get a glass of water without someone asking me about them.” While at the time I saw it as only adding to the disruption of my day, after that kiss, I welcome them. Even if my mind is screaming at me to stick to my vow. To remember this isn’t real.
My heart? My heart is a traitor.
“You’re welcome,” he answers simply as he helps me up into the truck, tipping his hat to me before closing the door. I take a break as I watch him round the front of his truck. I take the moment alone to calm my breathing.
This isn’t a real date.
He’s just here so people in town see us together.
The words he says to me mean nothing.
I repeat the words in my head over and over as I take in his truck. It’s so overwhelmingly Chance. Everything from the lifted extended truck with the black leather seats to the smoky and spicy scent that fills the cab surrounding me in the big, sexy man that’s climbing in next to me.
My mind goes into overdrive when I’m around him, as if it’s in a constant battle with my body and my heart over what I should do. My body feels alive for the first time in my life. He makes me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feeling until our weekend together. He played me like he knew my body inside and out, when we’d never done more than that first kiss together.
At the same time, I can’t help but hear the constant ringing in the back of my head that it’s not real. That I mean nothing to him. After the rodeo, our time is over and we go back to being alone and acting as if we don’t know each other.
But how can I do that? How can I pretend that I don’t know the sounds he makes as he thrusts into me, or the way that he holds my body so tight after?
No, I can’t get attached, no matter how hard he makes it. I need to place a barrier around my heart, or I’ll never make it out in one piece.
“You did it again, you know,” I say as he climbs into the truck.
I know I’m being a brat, picking a fight with him; but he’s actually been nice to me today, but I can’t help it. It’s the only way I know to keep my distance from him.
“Did what?” He shoots me a curious glance as he starts up the truck.
“You didn’t ask me to dinner; you told me we were going and assumed I would just go along for the ride.”
He sighs, taking his sunglasses off and turning toward me in his seat. “Dakota, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?”
Dammit, the way his blue eyes burrow into me are making me feel everything I’m trying to fight.
“That depends. Where are we going?” I fidget with the hem of my skirt, looking away and avoiding his gaze. I can’t let him assume that he can command me to do something, and I’ll follow blindly. I have rules. Boundaries. Expectations. He needs to respect them if he wants me to hold up my end of the bargain.
“Nothing fancy tonight. I was thinking the Lucky Dog Pub.”
“The Lucky Dog? Really?” Of all the places I expected him to say, that was the last one I was expecting.
“Yeah, why?’ He glances at me before pulling into traffic. “It’s Thursday night, and I heard that’s where a lot of the locals go after work. There might be some tourists around, too, since the rodeo starts in a couple of days. Plenty of people to see us out together since the gala was a bust.”
Right. This is about being seen.
Of course I was being stupid, thinking that today was about him actually wanting to see me. It’s only about appearances. Needing to save the rodeo. Be the perfect, smiling girlfriend.
I cross my arms over my chest and look out the window. Any excitement about spending the evening with Chance is now long gone.
“What’s wrong? We can go somewhere else if you want.”
“Nope,” I answer, not looking at him.
We are quiet for the rest of the short ride, the tension thick around us. When he parks outside of the town’s pub, I don’t wait for him to get out and open my door. I jump out, praying I don’t roll an ankle or fall trying to land on my high heels, slamming the door behind me. I don’t bother looking in his direction as I storm up to the large wooden doors.
“What’s gotten into you?” he barks as he reaches for me.
“Nothing.” I fake a smile. “And lower your voice. We wouldn’t want anyone to think we were fighting.”
“Are we?” He lowers his voice, just as I requested, and leans into me. An act that somehow makes me madder. “Are we fighting? Because I can’t think of a fucking thing I did that would make you act like this. I bought you flowers. Sent the biggest fucking bouquet Whiskey Falls has to offer last minute and finished up at the ranch early to surprise you for a date. Isn’t that what women want?”
“Maybe the women you entertained before, but not me.” I pull the large wooden door open and storm inside. Scanning the room quickly, I find an empty booth in the corner and stride over, willing myself to slow down and not look like I’m going to turn and murder Chance.
I might have gotten away with smashing Laughlin’s car. I highly doubt I’d get away with assault on the highest profile citizen in town.
“Can you slow down for a fucking minute?” He growls as he slides into the booth across from me. “What the hell was that supposed to mean?”
“It means ,” I stress, leaning over the table to whisper, “that I’m not someone you spend money on because you want to impress them, or in this case, the people of the town. If you want to impress me, you do things because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.”
“Chance!” A small, bubbly blonde bounces over to our table, a pen and paper in her hand. “What are you doing here? Oh! Is this Dakota?”
I glance over at Chance, wishing I could hurt him with a look. If this is another one of his mindless hookups, I’m going to lose it. I’m not going to sit here and have every one of his conquests interrupt one of our ‘dates’ every time we go out.
“Krissy,” he grumbles.
“Talkative as ever, I see,” she says with a laugh. “Are you Dakota? You’re just as pretty as Trent said you were!”
“Why, thank you,” I answer wearily, not exactly sure who this person is and most importantly, who she is to Chance and who Trent is. “Who is Trent?”
“He said what?” Chance questions, searching for someone across the bar.
“Stand down, lover,” Krissy laughs. “I’m Trent and Wyatt’s sister. My fiancé, Brett, owns the pub and I’m helping since he’s short staffed. We’ve been so busy with the rodeo coming up.”
Ah, Wyatt. I didn’t know he had siblings, but now it’s all starting to make sense. If Wyatt is as close to Chance as I think he is, it makes sense that his siblings would be close to Chance, too.
“Right. I’ll take a beer, then,” Chance says, grabbing a menu from the side table, clearly done with our discussion and abandoning his search for this elusive Trent.
Krissy laughs as she rolls her eyes at him.
I don’t know this woman, but I like her. If she can give Chance sass and he just accepts it, she must be a good person. Or he’s known her too long to continue fighting it.
“Anything for you?” she asks.
“Red wine, please, Krissy. And it’s very nice to meet you.”
“You’ve got it.” She bounces off, leaving me alone with a very broody Chance.
No longer distracted by someone that might be my new friend, I am reminded of the argument we’re having before Krissy came over. Looking at him now, I take pleasure in seeing him look uncomfortable, clearly out of his element. “It’s nice to know you aren’t this miserable around just me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He doesn’t look up from the menu.
“That’s your best friend’s sister, and you treated her horribly.”
He sighs, looking up. “I’ve known her my whole life, Dakota. She knows I’m like this. That was me being nice to her.”
“Knowing someone your whole life doesn’t excuse you from acting like that.” I hold my breath for a moment, letting my mind catch up and my heart rate lower. The last thing I want is to cause another scene in public. People are still gossiping about the blowup at the gala and how we disappeared for the rest of the night. After I’m able to calm my face, I continue. “Did you ever think that maybe the reason you’re in this situation with the sponsors is because you have a hard time treating people with respect? Namely, women.”
“I respect women,” he argues, but doesn’t sound convincing.
“No, you tolerate them, and then only for as long as they can do something for you.” I hold his gaze, noticing the tick in his jaw. I hit a nerve, but I don’t care. He needs to hear what I have to say.
He leans back and motions for me to continue with his hand, as if he’s now entertained by what I may have observed about him in the short time I’ve known him.
“You’re selfish, cold, and arrogant. You’re afraid to get close to anyone because you don’t want to get hurt. You put on this asshole persona because then people will leave you alone and not look too closely. But too late, because I have. I see you, Chance.”
He stares at me for a moment before leaning in, lowering his voice. “Oh yeah? You think you know me so well?” He spits the words at me through gritted teeth. “And what do you see, Dakota?”
“A sad, lonely man who pushes everyone away because he can’t handle letting anyone in. Someone who would rather lose everything than ask for help.”
He remains silent, not taking his eyes off me. The tension between us is so thick I’m surprised all the eyes at the bar aren’t watching us.
“I asked you, didn’t I?” he snarls.
“Only because you had your back against the wall. I bet you would have taken literally any other option if you had one.”
“I have been trying,” he continues, ignoring my jab. “I’ve been doing everything the fucking sponsors want, what I thought you wanted, and it’s not enough.”
“I never asked you for anything after that first night. I never asked for flowers, and I certainly never asked to be treated like one of your buckle bunnies.”
“You weren’t complaining about being treated like them this weekend,” he lowers his voice and stares right at me.
I suck in a breath, the venom in his comment landing right in my heart. Right where I know he intended it to. His eyes are like cold steel as they look into me, his jaw ticking, teeth clenched.
I lean back into the booth, arms crossed as I look away, willing the tears from my eyes. I hate that he brought that up. I hate that he made me feel this way. No matter what is going on between us, I really thought that this weekend was different from the other women. That he meant it that I’m not like them. Now I know it, was all just a lie.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” he continues, dropping the stoic look on his face.
I sneak a glance over at him. If I knew him, I would have thought that a hint of regret was in his eyes. But that’s impossible, because I highly doubt Chance Declan feels regret.
“Listen, I’ve never bought anyone flowers, or done half the shit I’ve done for you. And I didn’t mean it about the weekend.”
I scan my eyes over the bar, making sure no one is paying attention to us. I don’t want to be having this conversation with him in the middle of The Lucky Dog. I don’t want to be having this conversation with him at all, but here we are, which means that I need to do damage control for anyone that may have seen us arguing.
“Say something,” he grunts. If it were anyone else, it would have been a pleading request, but I know better. From Chance, it’s a command, and one that won’t be ignored.
“And when you said you wanted to see me? Was that a lie, too?”
I don’t know which answer would be better for me. If he lied, I could tuck it away with all the other reasons I have not to trust him, and justify that our time together is just a way for me to give into all the things I’ve never let myself do before.
But if he means it, that will open me up to accepting the feelings that I have for him.The ones that I won’t even truly admit to myself that I have. I’ve been locking them up tight because no good could ever come from letting them surface and acting on them.
I let myself look into his ice blue eyes, unable to read the emotion that currently crosses his face. There was anger originally, maybe some masked indifference, but now there’s something else.
“I don’t do anything I don’t mean, Dakota. You’d be wise to remember that.”
There it is. That emotion that I couldn’t put my finger on. Whatever the unnamed emotion is, is so hot that it sets my body on fire. It can’t be desire. Surely whatever he’s feeling toward me right now couldn’t be that, but whatever it is, it’s hot. It’s sexy. And it’s aimed at me.
Once my brain catches up, I’m left wondering what it means. Does he want to see me? Spend time with me? Did he actually want to send me flowers and impress me?
Now that the questions are creeping in, unease fills my body. I’m always able to read people, that’s my thing. I can tell when a witness is lying on the stand. I can tell when opposing counsel isn’t being completely honest. I can tell when someone is just an asshole.
But with Chance right now? I have no clue.
“Here are your drinks!” Krissy says as she approaches the table. “Uh, what did I miss?”
“Nothing,” Chance scowls as he grabs his beer from her hand and takes a sip.
“Okaaaay,” she says, drawing out her vowels, handing me my glass of wine. “Have we decided on dinner?”
“Burger and fries,” Chance grunts. I shoot him a look and he reluctantly adds, “please.”
Krissy looks at him, shock written all over her face, staring at him a moment before she brings her attention back to me. “Um, okay. And for you?”
“I’ll have the Bacon Caesar Wrap, please, Krissy.” I hand her the menu.
“Coming right up.” She shoots Chance another questioning look before taking his menu and walking off.
“Do you have to be so rude all the time?” I whisper tersely.
“I said please.” He leans back, taking another sip of his beer.
“Not by your own volition.”
We enter into another stare down before he leans forward, placing his beer on the table and wrapping his hand around the glass. “Look, if we are going to make this work, you’re going to have to just put up with this shit for a little while longer. I’m not going to change, so don’t even try.”
“I’m not going to try to change you, Chance. I know full well that once the rodeo is over, I’ll never see you again. It’s not worth my time. I just thought that maybe it would help if you were a better person during the time we had to spend together.”
“Well, stop. I’m not some project for you to take on, got it?”
I feel the anger rise in my body. I know I have to stop. There’s no use wasting my energy fighting with a man that has no desire to change. If he wants to be a washed-up cowboy with no one around to spend time with him, that’s on him. What he does with his life after this blasted rodeo is no longer my concern.
Plus, judging by the glances that are coming our way throughout the room, I’m doing more harm than good just trying.
“Fine. Just try to be less of an asshole to Krissy, got it?”
Not waiting for a response, I pick up my phone and start scrolling aimlessly, acting as if I were looking over an important email when, in fact, I’m trying my best not to cry. I don’t know why I care so much, but I do. It bothers me how horribly he treats those that genuinely care about him, and how much he’s just going to push them away if he keeps acting the way he does.
Taking a steady breath, I realize that it’s a lie, because I do care. I know why I care.
I just wish I didn’t.