Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Chance
“ A re you ready for this?” Wyatt asks at my side, looking over the grandstands.
“As ready as I’m going to be.” I look down from our suite high above the stands, wishing I was anywhere but here.
The turn out for the Whiskey Falls Rodeo has been the best yet. People have come in from all over the area to see the best riders Canada and the US have to offer. Opening day’s attendance last night was the highest we’ve ever had, and Dakota and I were able to pull off the image of two happy people that just got engaged. It killed me to don a smile and accept their congratulations, knowing it was all a lie and done just to make them feel better. But for the betterment of the community, I shut my mouth and let Dakota do the talking.
“You could look a little happier. It’s a great turn out.”
“Yup.” I take a sip of my coffee, wishing there was whiskey in it.
“Today’s numbers are looking like it might beat last year’s as well. Probably because Wallace is performing tonight, but whatever brings them in, right?”
Greyson Wallace. Whiskey Falls’ golden boy.
I haven’t seen him since we were teenagers, but the asshole always had a way of making luck fall on his side. First with his ability to get out of this small town and make it in Nashville, then the way he bounced back after his PR nightmare. I heard about his fall from grace last year, and how he was able to make a comeback.
I need a little bit of that luck right now.
“Yup,” I answer again, not taking my eyes off the crowd below.
We stand there silently for a moment. I know Wyatt wants to say more, but he knows me well enough to know when to keep his mouth shut. This is one of those times.
Or so I thought.
“Listen…” Wyatt starts.
“Don’t,” I interrupt, turning to him. We aren’t alone in the suite. Sponsors and their families mill about, excitedly watching the barrel racing taking place below.
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” he pushes, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Don’t need to. I already know I’m not going to like it.”
“And here I thought engaged life would cheer you up a bit.” He smirks.
“Fuck you,” I say under my breath, causing Wyatt to chuckle.
“Where is your blushing bride, anyway? I thought for sure you would show up together after you left so quickly last night.”
What I want to do is punch him for how much enjoyment he’s getting out of my situation.
I thought Dakota and I had taken a turn last night during the first round of competitions. She’d hung off my arm and mingled with everyone. She’d sent me looks across the room that had my blood pulsing through my body and wanting to push her into the closest empty room. When she suggested we leave right after the last rider had gone, I thought for sure we were going to have another night like we had shared all those weeks ago at the gala.
But no, once we were in the car she wouldn’t look at me or touch me, and insisted she be driven home. I haven’t heard a word from her since.
“She had some work to do before coming in today,” I answer, hating that I’m lying to Wyatt, but not really having another option.
“Right.” He scans the room again before elbowing me in the arm and nodding toward someone that’s approaching. “Buckle up.”
I turn to find Greyson Wallace walking toward me with a woman on his arm. I knew he had married someone from town, but it was a bit of a shock seeing Ella from Dakota’s office next to him. The beautiful blonde smiles as she looks up at her husband, her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow.
I wonder if that’s how people see Dakota and I. Do they think she looks up at me with stars in her eyes, like we really were in love?
“Chance, you remember Greyson,” Wyatt says, reaching out and shaking the man’s hand.
Greyson nods at Wyatt, releasing his hand and turning to Chance. “It’s been a while, Declan. Good to see you.”
I take his outstretched hand in mine and tip my hat before turning to Ella. “I didn’t realize this was your husband.”
“I didn’t realize there was anyone in town that didn’t know,” Ella laughs. Her bright smile makes me wish that Dakota had the same one when people congratulated her on our engagement, not the fake placating one that she wears like a mask.
“Chance here never keeps up with the gossip in town,” Wyatt adds.
“I leave that for you,” I grit out, searching the room again.
I’ve never longed to have a woman on my arm at these events. When I did have them, they were more like an accessory. I know I’m an asshole for thinking that way, but it’s true. But not with Dakota. With her, I actually want her at my side. I want to have her as part of my conversations. I want to show her off when I have to be in public, but also have her all to myself when we’re alone.
I want her in my bed.
I want her in my life.
And that scares the fucking hell out of me.
“Thank you again for letting me play here tonight. It’s nice to have a show here in town.” Greyson looks down at Ella with the same starry eyes she’s giving him.
“No problem.”
“There you are,” Dakota’s warm voice washes over me as she takes my arm and mimics Ella. “It’s so good to see you! I’m glad you guys made it.”
“Thank you for making this happen, Dakota. We’re both so happy that Greyson gets to do this.”
“Yes, thank you. It wouldn’t have happened without you,” Greyson adds.
“What?” I ask, looking down at her.
“It was nothing.” Dakota waves it off with her free hand.
“Nothing short of a miracle,” Wyatt adds. “The sponsors didn’t want anything to do with Wallace here either after what happened last year.”
“But then Dakota called them all personally and told her how much he’s changed and wants to be a part of the community,” Ella adds proudly.
“You did?” I ask. I know my eyes are wide with disbelief as I look down at her.
“Really, it was nothing.” There’s a pink to her cheeks that looks so adorable right now; I can’t take my eyes off her.
She looks away with the corner of her mouth ticked up in a shy smile and it’s then I know that I’ll do absolutely anything for her. For this woman who signed up for all my bullshit when she really didn’t have to. For the one that took the initiative to make sure Greyson was given a second chance in the community when she had nothing to gain from it other than being a good friend to Ella.
For the one that has risked everything to save me.
Now I know I’ve been doing this all wrong. Everything. The way I run my ranch and my life. Thinking that I never needed anyone at my side to do all of this with. Maybe that was because I never knew anyone like Dakota before. Someone who could challenge me while also turning me on more than anyone I’d ever met before. Maybe it was because I’ve always had my head so far up my ass that I’ve never even bothered to look.
When I look at Ella and Greyson now, I realize I want that, but I only want it with Dakota.
“Sorry, do you mind if I steal Dakota for a second?” I ask, not waiting for a reply.
I cover her hand with mine on my arm and lead her out of the suite. She smiles but I can see the million questions racing through her mind as her eyes meet mine.
Pulling us around the corner into a deserted hallway, I back her up against the wall and press my body to hers.
“Chance, what…?”
I don’t let her finish her question. I lift my hand and cup her cheek before crashing my lips to hers. She clutches at my shirt, going back and forth between pushing me away and pulling me closer until she finally gives in and melts into me.
I push her further into the wall, letting my hands roam over her body and into her hair. I grind my hips into her, letting her know what she does to me. What she’s always done to me.
“Chance, we can’t...”
“Yes, we can,” I answer, trailing kisses down her neck.
She slides her hands around my neck, playing with the hair there. She’s the only one that’s ever done that, and it’s such a fucking turn on. Her having her hands on me at all does things to me I didn’t know were possible.
But here she is, doing the impossible every day. Like making me want things I never thought were meant for me.
“Someone could see us.”
“Then let them see. We are engaged, after all.”
“Chance!” She pushes me off her, leaving us both heaving for breath.
“What’s wrong?”
Tears fill her eyes, and I honestly don’t know what to do. The euphoria of having her in my arms is quickly replaced by panic as I look at her on the verge of crying.
“I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what, Dakota?”
“This! Us!” She wipes a tear from her cheek. I take a step towards her, but she puts a hand up, stopping me. “Don’t.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s one thing to pretend that this is what we are, but it’s another for you to pull me into hallways and start kissing me like that.”
“But you like me kissing you like that.”
“Yes, and that’s the problem!”
I’ve never been so confused in my life.
“If we both like it, I don’t see what the problem is.”
Fresh tears roll down her cheeks as she wipes them away with the back of her hand. Her chest is heaving in her low cut black tank top, drawing my eyes lower.
“Stop it! You can’t even take this seriously!”
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Dakota.” I bring my eyes back up to hers and immediately regret everything that has happened. She’s falling apart and I don’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I feel completely helpless.
She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “What are you doing, Chance? Why did you bring me out here?”
“I was kissing you.”
“But why?” She drops her hand and opens her eyes. “There’s no one here to see it.”
“I didn’t want anyone to see that, Dakota. That was for us.”
She remains silent, her chest heaving just as it was after we broke apart. “There is no ‘us,’ Chance. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
“But what if I was wrong?” My heart pounds against my chest and my stomach turns as I take a cautious step toward her. I’m rewarded with her staying still, so at least—for now—she’s not pushing me away. “I’ve been thinking. A lot.”
She opens her mouth to say something, but I don’t let her.
“What if this isn’t fake, Dakota? I know I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve you, but what if…” My voice cracks as I take another step, daring to lift my hand and brush her cheek. “What if we made this real? Obviously not being engaged, that’s a little too much, but maybe date? Let me take you out?”
She looks down at her hand, admiring the ring. “I mean, it is really pretty.”
“It was my mother’s.”
“Chance, I can’t take this.”
She moves to take the ring off, but I stop her, placing my hand on hers. “Don’t. I want you to wear it. I can’t promise that I’ll ever be the marrying kind, Dakota, but I’d like to give whatever this is between us a shot.”
She looks down at our joined hands but stops trying to take the ring off. “Why did you use this ring?”
I sigh, not sure how I’m going to answer this. “After my dad died, she took it off and told me that one day she wanted me to give it to the woman that I can’t live without. She has such high hopes for me, bigger than I have for myself sometimes, but I don’t know…I couldn’t see myself giving it to anyone else, even if it wasn’t for real.”
She’s quiet for another moment before she looks up at me. “Do you believe in soul mates?”
I scoff. “That would require me to have a soul.”
Dakota playfully punches me on the shoulder. “Chance, I’m being serious.” She’s trying to act tough, but I can see the hint of a smile coming out.
I cup her face and tilt her chin, making her look into my eyes so she knows how serious I’m being. “I can’t say that I’ve ever really thought about it. I know that my parents were deeply in love, and it gutted my mom when my dad died. I also know that I’ve never felt anything remotely like that for anyone before.” I take a breath, preparing myself for what I’m about to admit. “I don’t know what love feels like, Dakota, but I know that what I feel for you is scary as hell. You piss me off and turn me on in a way no one else has. You also get me in a way that no one ever has, too.”
“I want to believe you, Chance.”
“But?”
“But…you told me you’re not a forever kind of guy. I don’t know what to do with this information. Do we just try until you get bored and decide you’ve had enough? Do you string me along for as long as it works for you? And then what? Where does that leave me?”
“When I said that, I didn’t know I would end up feeling like this for you. I was still the asshole that cycled through women because I didn’t know what I wanted. Now I do.”
“And what is that, Chance? What is it you want from me, exactly?”
“I want you next to me at all of these fucking horrible events. I want to take you out to dinner, have you in my bed. I want you in my kitchen in the morning. I want you telling me when I’m being an asshole. Most importantly, I just want you here. With me.”
“And the rodeo? The town thinking we’re engaged?”
“Keep the ring on and let them think that. We’ll just say we’re going to have a long engagement. We can see what happens from there.”
Silence hangs between us as we stand here in the hallway, our breath syncing and slowing. After what feels like an eternity, she takes my hand and laces her fingers through mine. “I think I can handle that, Mr. Declan.”
I lean in and give her a kiss. It’s not as heated and deep as the one we shared earlier. This one is tender and sweet. It’s unlike any kiss I’ve ever shared with a woman before. I also know it means so much more than any other kiss ever has.
I wasn’t lying when I said I couldn’t promise her forever, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe promising right now is enough.
“What do you say we get out of here and go see Greyson perform? I’ve heard he’s some country hot shot or something.”
She laughs. “I’d like that.”