19. Elizabeth
As Will drove in silence, I could only bring myself to look out of the window, as I couldn’t get my head out of that moment back at the beach.
I had heard right, right? He said he liked me, right? He said he had feelings for me, right? Or was I dreaming?
I pinched myself slightly, and the pain was enough for me to know that it wasn’t a dream.
Will had expressed his feelings for me. But was it sudden, or had there been signs that I missed?
Of course, I noticed the change in his attitude since his client’s place. The compliments, the text messages, the way he looked at me, the way he cared for me—everything. But I had thought it was all part of the charade of us being engaged.
But tonight, it was just us, with nobody around—not even a single staff member. Nevertheless, he had said those words out of the spur of the moment.
He likes me?I felt my heart flutter merely at the thought.
Of course I was excited. I mean, why wouldn’t I?
But then again, what did this mean for us? Were we going to begin dating for real? The questions lay in my heart as I wondered what was next for us.
It wasn’t until we reached my place that I realized I had not even expressed how I felt in return. But the truth be told, I wasn’t even sure how I felt yet.
Did I really like Will, or was it just a figment of my imagination or what I thought I felt? Could it be because of the attention he gave me? I needed to think things twice and reassess before making a choice and telling him how I felt.
I needed to understand what this meant for us as well. On that note, I felt it was time to call Lydia. This was beyond what I could figure out alone. I needed my best friend now more than ever!
I immediately sent her a text, indicating it was an emergency and asking her to come over. That was all she needed to confirm her plans to sleep over.
Will parked the car the moment we reached my place, and we remained silent for over a few seconds, seated in his car.
Oh no! This is the moment one of us has to speak and break the silence that has lingered since we left the beach. Come one, Elizabeth. Be mature and say something!
“Thank you very much for tonight, Will. I really had a wonderful time out at the beach with you.”
“Same here. I’m glad you came along.”
“Me too. Hopefully, we do that again soon?”
“Of course,” Will replied with a smile. Our gazes locked, and I felt my body starting to react. I knew that was my cue to leave the car.
“All right, good night,” I said.
“Good night!” Will replied almost immediately, and I could see he felt the same way as well.
“Umm, let me walk you to your door. I know the leftovers might be too heavy for you to carry.”
I watched him rush out of the car to help me with the pack of food in my hands.
“Oh no, it’s fine,” I said, but of course, he wasn’t listening as he took them from my hands and walked side by side with me until we reached the door of my flat.
“Here is my place, and I would take it from here. Thank you very much,” I said as I took the bag from him, our hands touching slightly and immediately sending thousands of signals to my brain.
Seeing him, I knew he felt the same way, and I could already feel my inner senses immediately seeking an escape route. But before I could react, Will had already acted. With my eyes wide open, my body froze for a second as I felt his lips on mine.
Wait, wait, wait! His lips on mine? What was happening?
I looked in front of me, and it was his face. Will was kissing me?
Wait! Will was kissing me.
My senses finally came together as I opened my lips to give him access. I could feel my entire body elated as we continued, now with my eyes closed.
After a few seconds, I felt him pull away.
Did you have to, Will? We could have continued! I heard in my head before bringing myself back to order.
Oh my god, what just happened?
I heard him let out a breath before speaking in a soft voice, his eyes still closed before gradually opening them.
“I’m sorry, Liz. I didn’t mean to . . . I’m so sorry,” Will said before he rushed away.
I watched him leave, feeling utterly confused about what had just happened. He had kissed me just now. He said he had feelings for me, so why on earth did he run off like that without even hearing me out? He was sorry? Sorry about what?
Exhausted mentally and physically, I opened my apartment door, letting myself in before closing it behind me.
I immediately went ahead and freshened up while waiting for Lydia’s arrival. Once I was done setting up the snacks, I heard the bell ring, indicating that she was around.
Oh, thank God!
Rushing over to open the door, I immediately felt at ease the moment I saw her, pulling her into a hug.
“It seems like we have a lot of catching up to do now, Liz, don’t we?”
As we walked further into my living room and settled down on the makeshift bed I had prepared for us, I let her sit and settle in before dropping the bombshell on her.
“Will kissed me,” I said out loud for her to hear.
“Wait, what?”
“Yes, Lydia, just a while ago in front of my door. I mean, he offered to help me carry the leftovers we had from the beach house, and then he leaned in and kissed me.”
“Wait, did you say the beach house?”
“Yes, Lydia, and how is that the subject of concern right now? I’m telling you, your brother just kissed me.”
“It’s a subject of concern because he has never let anyone in there. I myself haven’t been there before. He calls it his private place, and he took you there?”
“I didn’t know that,” I said as I thought back to the beach house.
“Oh my, this could be good!”
“Good, how?” I asked as I looked at her, confused.
“Tell me all about what happened at the beach house. Let’s start with that.”
I looked at her, confused as to why she wasn’t making this a big deal as she ought to. Her brother had just kissed me. Why wasn’t she talking about that?
Anyway, I let her in on all the details, and I also highlighted the part when he said he liked me.
“Oh my god, did he really say that?”
“Yes, and why do you seem so excited? Lydia, what’s going on.”
“I’m happy, duh . . .”
“Why?”
“Because finally, you both are opening up to each other, sharing your hearts.”
“I don’t get you.”
“Okay, Liz, I want you to be honest with yourself.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“Do you have feelings for him? For Will?”
“I don’t know, Lydia. That’s why I called you here,” I said, pouring out my concerns. “I don’t know what I feel, Lydia. I don’t know how I feel. Today, I think I like him. Tomorrow, I’m not sure. And then with him confessing how he felt and kissing me, then apologizing after? It’s all confusing, Lydia. I mean, he didn’t even give me a chance to express how I felt.”
“Well, how do you feel?” Lydia threw the question back at me, and at that moment, I thought about it.
“I think I like him too, Lydia. I think I do. I’m just worried.”
“Worried about what?”
“I don’t know. Our differences? We’re on totally different levels, Lydia. I mean, he is all the way there, and I’m all the way here. I don’t even know if what I feel is long-term, and that worries me as well. I don’t want to get myself involved in a two-month relationship only to deal with heartbreak down the line, Lydia. I don’t want that.” I poured out how I truly felt, admitting my feelings to myself and to Lydia.
“I understand your concerns, Liz, but how about you talk to him about it? Honestly, I think the best thing to do is talk to him about it. You both should sit and have a mature conversation as regards your feelings and what is going to happen moving forward because, obviously, this is going to change what you guys currently have.”
“I know, and that scares me too. I think I’m okay staying like this rather than getting into something I have no idea how it’s going to end.”
Lydia sighed as she looked at me. “Liz, to be honest, all you’ve been talking about is the ending of a relationship that hasn’t even started. You can’t go into a relationship thinking about it ending—it would never work out.”
I allowed her words to sink in, knowing she had a very valid point.
“You need to admit the feelings you have for him and talk to him about it. Stop worrying about it not working out, and just enjoy the moment.”
“I don’t know, Lydia. That would change everything we have planned.”
“What’s the harm in giving it a try?”
“I’ll think about it, Lydia. I don’t know.”
“All right, I would give you time to think about it, but just know that I’m in full support of whatever decision you decide to make.”
“Thank you so much!” I said as I pulled her into a warm hug, grateful for the gift of a friend like Lydia.
I knew Lydia was the perfect person to help me sort through this jumble of thoughts in my head. I was going to take more time to think about my feelings and what I wanted. But in the meantime, I was determined to enjoy my time with my best friend.
“All right, enough of the soft emotions. Can we eat? I’m starving! And please, let’s watch some action and comic movies tonight!”
“Same thing I had in mind,” I said as I stood up to serve Lydia and me a plate of food from the leftovers at the beach house, alongside snacks for the movie.
As we ate and watched the movie, I felt more at ease than ever, trusting that everything was going to turn out well in the end.