26. Will
I felt my heart ache worse than ever as I looked at the ring in the package Lydia had just sent me. Holding it in my hands, I knew exactly what it meant, and it only intensified my pain. With my heart beating faster, I looked outside my office to the view before me. The scenery no longer looked pretty in my eyes because all I could think about was Elizabeth.
As I let out a breath, it dawned on me that I was losing her. Her returning the ring, albeit indirectly through Lydia, was a sign that she was done with whatever we had. Coming to this realization only quickened my heartbeat. Unable to remain standing, I sank into my seat, resting my head in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath. Memories of the times we spent together flooded my mind, making it even harder to breathe.
What is this? What am I feeling? I asked myself, as the level of emotion I was currently experiencing was more intense than anything I had ever experienced.
The last time I felt this way was when my mother left us, but this situation was slightly different. With my mom, it was her fault, but in this case, it was mine. It was the one who messed up and ruined things. I deceived myself into thinking I was scared to fall in love when the truth was I was just scared of love leaving me.
Now, as I thought about Elizabeth, the prospect of losing her and never having a relationship with her filled me with even more worry. I needed to fix things, and I had to do it urgently.
Confused about what to do, the only person I could call and reach out to was Lydia. Being her best friend, she certainly would know how to handle the situation and how I could fix things with Liz.
Hurriedly picking up my phone and carefully setting the ring aside, I dialed Lydia’s line, placing the phone to my ear as I struggled to catch my breath.
“Hello? Lydia!”
“Whoa, relax, Will! Why are you all tensed up?” Lydia asked, surprised as to why I sounded the way I did.
“I’m sorry, Lydia. Just a bit impatient.”
“Impatient about what?”
I let out a sigh, knowing she wanted me to tell her for myself what the issue was even though she already knew.
“You act like you don’t know why I’m calling.”
“Well, I don’t know, Will. It would be nice if you told me what’s going on.”
“All right, fine, I messed up, Lydia! I messed up big time, and I know I’m such a jerk for doing what I did, but please, could you help me talk to Elizabeth? She is not picking up my calls or responding to my text messages or anything.”
“Have you gone over to her place?”
“Yes, I have, Lydia! And she didn’t let me in.”
“Look, I know what I did was wrong, but please, I need to know how I can fix things. I mean, I have to fix things, Lydia! I can’t afford to lose Elizabeth,” I said, remaining silent for a second, and Lydia joined me in the silence before finally breaking it.
“If you knew this was how you felt about her, then why did you do it? Why did you get yourself involved with another person?”
“I don’t know, Lydia!” I said, lying fully to myself and to her. Of course, I knew what I was doing. I was trying to get Elizabeth out of my system, but considering the current situation, it seemed I made quite a mess of that.
“You don’t know? Of course, you don’t know. You never know anything,” Lydia said in a way that made me know she knew something I didn’t.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” I asked curiously.
“I don’t know as well, Will.”
“Come on, Lydia, talk to me. Please, I’m your brother, and I know that I’m not the best of brothers, but please help me out here!” I pleaded genuinely as my ears itched to hear what she had to say.
“Did you ever wonder why Elizabeth had come over to your place that evening?”
The moment she threw the question to me, it dawned on me that I never actually sought to know why. But to be fair, all I had been focused on was figuring out how to win her back.
“No, I didn’t,” I said as I kept silent, expecting she was going to continue her statement. “Well?” I added to remind her that I was waiting for her.
“Will, she came to tell you she had feelings for you as well. She was willing to take things further in the relationship if that’s what you wanted. I encouraged her to come talk to you about the kiss and how she felt for you. That is why she was at your place.”
As I heard the words that Lydia spoke, I felt my insides turning in disbelief. “Are you telling me that Elizabeth feels the same way about me?”
“Well, I can’t tell anymore if she still feels the same way, but I know that’s why she went over to yours that evening.”
As Lydia spoke, I zoned out of the conversation, with only a few words repeating themselves in my head.
Elizabeth has feelings for me? She has feelings for me? She liked me too, just like I did?
Now I understood better why she was so hurt. Imagine going over to confess your feelings to someone you like, only to find them with someone else. I swallowed hard, realizing the intensity of the pain I had caused her. But at the same time, I felt a slight sense of joy in knowing that she liked me, too. It was not just one-sided. That had also been a fear of mine—that my feelings would be unrequited, but they weren’t. For the first time in a long while, it felt good to know that someone else had feelings for me.
“Will!”
Hearing Lydia shout through the phone reminded me that I was still on the phone with her.
“Yes? I’m sorry. Sorry, I zoned out a bit.”
“I see.”
“Look, I know what to do now, okay? Just . . . umm . . . wish me luck, okay?”
“What do you plan on doing?”
“What I should have done earlier,” I said as I stood up from my seat, shutting down my laptop.
“Okay then, good luck!”
“Thank you,” I responded as I ended the call, preparing to pack up my desk, only to be interrupted by a knock on my door.
“Yes, come in,” I said without looking up to see who it was.
“Are you going somewhere, sir?”
I looked up to meet Anthony’s inquisitive eyes as he watched me close up the documents on my desk and pack up my MacBook and a few other items.
“Well, yes, I have somewhere to be.”
“Oh, you mean like our meeting with the Chinese client? We won’t need all of that, sir, for the meeting.”
“No, not an official appointment. More like a personal appointment.”
“Personal, sir? But we have a meeting scheduled in the next twenty minutes. I came here to prepare you ahead for it, sir.”
“Well, you’re going to have to cancel it, Anthony. I have more pressing matters on my neck.”
“No offense, sir, but these are the Chinese clients we have been trying to close for the past three months, and they are well on their way, sir.”
Frustrated and tired of repeating myself over and over again, I looked up. As I observed him, I realized that all he displayed was genuine concern. It wouldn’t be fair for me to discard three months of hard work for personal reasons.
“Fine, but we will make the meeting brief and get straight to the point. Once we are able to finalize, I leave.”
“That’s a good enough deal, sir. Thank you very much.”
I put my bag down, letting out an impatient sigh.
All you have is this meeting, Will, and you can go win back the love of your life, I thought to myself as Anthony walked me to the boardroom.
A few minutes later, the clients were already seated in the room, and one of my favorite managers presented the offer we had. Throughout the presentation, I impatiently kept glancing at my watch, waiting for the moment they would finish so I could leave. My body, heart, and soul longed to see her, just to ensure she was well. Though physically present in the meeting, my spirit was already standing in front of her door, waiting for my body to join it.
“I think we are okay with this.”
As soon as I heard that statement from one of the investors, I immediately intervened, reassuring them and dispelling any doubts they had.
Once they were reassured and ready to sign the deal, I politely excused myself, rushing out of the boardroom as if I were being chased. I could see the expressions on my employees’ faces, each of them looking at me as though they had seen a ghost. They were probably all wondering what was wrong with me or if there was an emergency. To be honest, Elizabeth was my emergency, and now that I knew how she felt, I was definitely not sitting back.
Reaching my car, I drove as fast as I could, thinking of the moment I would stand in front of her, apologizing from the depths of my heart. Realizing I was empty-handed, I hurriedly stopped by a flower shop to pick up a bouquet for her before continuing on my journey.
Knowing Elizabeth, she had never been one for elaborate or expensive gifts. That was one of the reasons I fell for her—her humility, simplicity, and contentment. You could see in her eyes that she was down to earth, not greedy or swayed by wealth and fame. I could still remember the night I had given her that ring. She had felt it was too expensive for her to own. Remembering that moment stirred an ache in my heart.
Oh, God, help me! Help me win her back, please!
As I neared her place, my heart beat even faster. In no time, I was in front of her apartment building. I parked my car and stepped out with the bouquet in one hand and her ring carefully secured in my breast pocket. With no idea what awaited me, I went straight over to her flat.
Standing in front of her door, I took a deep breath and said a short prayer before knocking. God, please, let her respond. Just this one time, please. I prayed from the depths of my heart as I waited. But there was no response. I knocked lightly again, hoping for a different outcome.
As I stood there with my heart pounding, hands sweating, and legs unsteady, everything seemed to pause when I heard footsteps and the sound of keys turning in the door.
Oh my god!
As the door opened, revealing her face, I stood still in my position, short of words, taken away by the view in front of me.