15. Charlie
It’s been a few days since Mrs. Patterson’s birthday party. After all my worrying, it turned out all right in the end. Well, more than all right. Once the initial nerves died down, I actually had fun. Besides, it was nice to see Mr. and Mrs. Patterson again. It’s been quite a few years.
I now know far more of Troy and Milly’s relatives. None of them are quite as wild as Milly, but a few came fairly close. I even swapped some numbers with a couple of their female cousins. Shauna was genuinely interested in me coming to take a look at her house, so who knows? There might be a contract up ahead.
But I’ll be honest; it’s not the events of the party that have been swirling around my head since. Once we drove back and Troy asked me in for dinner, the evening got a whole lot more interesting. There were highs and lows, though far more of the former than the latter.
After probably the most delicious meal I’ve ever had, Troy and I finally talked it out. I didn’t plan for that to happen. It was as organic as it was going to be. Troy was open and honest, which I wanted, no matter how much it hurt.
I didn’t really know what to expect, but hearing that he feared I might hold him back from going after his dreams was a stab to the heart, to say the least. I would never have stood in his way. Not ever.
Then again, as we both said, we were kids back then. It’s easy to be rational now, when we’re grown and mature, but it was different when we hadn’t yet reached the age of twenty. Clearly, Troy knew what he wanted far more than I did back then. It was sad that he couldn’t tell me that, but that’s all in the past now. At least I know now; I know the truth.
It’s like another layer of the wall between us has come down—not that the wall I had built wasn’t already crumbling at a great rate. All my promises of keeping my distance were long broken. Broken and trodden on.
And then, at the end of the night, Troy completely blew me away. In fact, the moment his soft lips kissed my cheek, I was taken right back to that day in Milly’s bedroom. That day when he made me feel I was worth something.
I don’t even think my feet touched the ground as I floated back to my house that night. My stomach was in knots; my heart fluttered as I replayed it over and over in my head, and sleep did not come at all easy.
Something magical is happening between us.
In the days since then, we haven’t really seen each other. On my workdays, I’ve left early in the morning, and his truck has still been in his driveway, but when I return at the end of the day, it’s gone. We’re like ships in the night. No doubt, he’s spending all his time at the restaurant, readying it for the launch.
I’m cleaning my kitchen, just thinking about him, when I hear a knock on my front door. I can’t help but smile to myself. It’s like thinking about him has magically made him appear on my doorstep. Weird, right?
Ripping off my gloves, I nearly skip to the front door; in an attempt to contain my delight at seeing him again, I take a deep breath in.
Calm yourself, Charlie. You don’t know where this is going to go yet.
But I can’t help it. I open the door with a smile a mile wide, ready to greet him with all the happiness I feel. Very quickly, however, the smile falls from my face, and I freeze. A second later, the person standing there meets my eyes.
“Eddy?” I blurt.
“Hey, Charlie,” he says, with that charming smile.
Eddy is about five foot ten; he has sandy blonde hair and small features. He’s handsome and can charm just about anyone. That’s how we ended up getting together in the first place. Stupidly, I fell for that charisma. Of course, I didn’t know at the time that the charm was hiding a selfish narcissist.
What I don’t understand is why he’s here now on my doorstep, nearly three years after we broke up.
“Can I come in?” he says.
I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He frowns. “Why not? I’m only here to talk.”
“I’m sure you are,” I reply, “but I have nothing to say to you.”
“Well, I have plenty to say to you,” he counters. I watch the telltale signs as his fa?ade slowly slips. His jaw tenses, though he’s trying his best to hold the false smile.
“I think it’s best all around if you just leave, Eddy.”
The smile has now vanished completely. He takes a step forward. I take a step back, reaching for the door, readying myself to slam it closed if need be.
“So that’s it?” he growls, the anger simmering beneath his words. “After all we shared, you’re just going to throw it all away?”
“It’s been over for three years, Eddy,” I respond. “Why are you here?”
“You can’t treat people like this,” he says, his voice now rising. “You can’t just walk away without giving me a chance to explain!”
The frustration I’ve been trying to hold back is now battling to break free, and while I’ve tried to remain calm so far, I cannot any longer. “You slept with other women!” I yell back. “Not one, or two, but a lot of them, Eddy.” I can feel my body shaking at the injustice and the absurdity of his argument.
“Those were mistakes,” he bellowed. “You didn’t give me a chance to explain that.”
“And what?” I shout. “I was supposed to just forgive you, and that would’ve made it all better? I was supposed to believe you would never do it again?”
“I’m your boyfriend, Charlie.”
Is this guy for real?
“No, Eddy. You were my boyfriend. You were supposed to be faithful to me and only me. But you’re so full of yourself that your superiority complex got the better of you.”
“I would’ve stopped,” he yelled.
His words hit me, and I’m stunned for a second by what they might mean. I flounder before I realize the truth. “You mean you were still sleeping with them, even after I found out? Even after I left you?”
He looks at me with an expression of bewilderment, as though this shouldn’t be new information. “Yes,” he says plainly.
“Oh, my gosh, Eddy,” I gasp. “Leave.” I fling a gesture to back up my words. “Just leave and never come back. I don’t want to see you ever again.”
The anger returns to his face, his cheeks getting redder and redder. “So, you’d sooner have that loser who left you in the first place instead of me?”
Suddenly, his unexpected presence makes sense. He’s only here because he’s discovered Troy is back in town. He’s been challenged. His ego and pride have a point to prove. Well, he won’t be using me to prove it.
“You need to leave, and you need to do it now!” I yell.
I don’t wait for a reply and slam the door in his face. I’m so filled with rage and frustration that I’m actually shaking.
“Of all the pigheaded, arrogant, ignorant morons.” I storm into the kitchen and begin pacing back and forth. There’s this mass of energy inside of me, trying to get out, trying to get some form of release. And believe me, I want badly to get rid of it. But if I punch something, which is what I really feel like doing right now, I’ll do more damage to myself than whatever I hit.
“He’s the one who cheated on me. He’s the one who continued to cheat on me even after I found out. Who the heck does he think he is, arriving at my door and asking for another chance? As if I would ever consider getting back together with him, even for a heartbeat?”
I’m ranting like a crazy person as I pace back and forth, and I suddenly feel like I need some fresh air. Crashing through the back door, I gulp in air like I’m suffocating. As I stand there, breathing in and out erratically, my head feels light, and a tingling sensation starts in my fingers.
You’re hyperventilating. You need to calm down.
I drop and sit on the step to my back patio, trying my best to slow my breathing, taking long breaths in and letting slow breaths out. The lightness in my head eventually passes, and my fingers feel normal again. But out of nowhere, my throat tightens; unable to stop them, I feel tears pour down my cheeks.
I don’t really know why I’m crying. Maybe it’s because of a lot of things. Maybe work has been a bit overwhelming, or maybe it’s because my period is just around the corner and I’m feeling more emotional. What does it matter, though? Eddy’s arrival has triggered these tears, and I no longer care where they’ve come from. I’m going to just let them fall.
I’m still sobbing when I hear a soft voice from my left.
“Are you okay?”