18. Troy
I’m buzzing. That’s the only way I can describe it. Three days ago turned out to be the best day since I came back. Not the part where Charlie was upset, obviously, but everything after that. I took a chance asking if she wanted to try again, and boy, am I glad I did. Since then, I’ve seen a lot more of her, though the fact that she’s agreed to be my interior decorator has a lot to do with that.
She’s been over several times with drawings, color palettes, and samples of materials. While half of what she says doesn’t make any sense to me, I’m just glad to see her. Had I known she enjoyed her work so much, I’d have asked her sooner. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone get so excited talking about fabrics.
More than all of that, though, we’re reconnecting. I’ve realized that I never stopped loving her, even after all this time. And now that the barriers have fallen, I’ve been blessed with growing closer to the wonderful, warm person she always was.
I’m on the way to Mom and Dad’s for dinner. Mom called earlier, and apparently, she misses me. “I saw you more when you lived in Paris than I have since you’ve been back,” she said.
She’s great at guilt trips.
As I pull into Mom and Dad’s driveway, I remind myself that it’s still early and to keep my mouth shut. Besides, I don’t know if Charlie wants anyone else to know. Maybe that’s a conversation we need to have sooner rather than later.
I step into the house, but I don’t see anyone around, so I make my way into the kitchen, where I can hear conversation and clattering utensils.
“Troy!” Milly cries when she sees me. She runs over and gives me her usual affectionate hug. I realize that I’ve missed those as much as Mom has missed me. I’ve just been super busy.
“So, are you guys back together?” Milly blurts, looking up at me with a beaming grin.
Mom’s standing at the stove, supervising a bubbling pot. Dad’s sitting at the breakfast bar with a beer in one hand and a newspaper in the other. And after Milly’s less-than-discreet question, everyone is looking directly at me.
Am I supposed to lie to my family? Should I pretend that I have no idea what Milly is talking about? Or do I just ignore her question altogether?
By the questioning look on Mom and Dad’s faces, the last one isn’t an option. Besides, ignoring it is just going to look even more suspicious. I’ve never been great at lying. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t say goodbye to Charlie when I left. If she’d asked me why I was going, I couldn’t have told her the truth, and she would have figured out that something was wrong.
“Well?” Mom presses.
“Didn’t you already think we were back together at Grandma’s party?” I deflect.
“Yes, but I got a confession from your younger sister when I told her I thought Charlie was acting strange.” Mom gives Milly a stern look. “I can’t say I was pleased to hear that she had tricked that poor girl into going.”
“Oh, for goodness” sake, Mom,” Milly huffs. “She’s not a girl, she’s a grown woman. Besides, she could have refused to go.”
“Tricking her was still wrong,” Mom says defiantly.
I walk further into the room, and Dad, who’s moved from the breakfast bar to the fridge, meets me halfway and hands me a beer. He’s giving me a knowing look, like he knows the answer to Milly’s question already. “You look good, son. Like you have a spring in your step.”
Seriously?
“So?” Mom has moved her attention from Milly to me. “Are you guys back together?”
Dropping into a chair at the breakfast bar, I can feel my earlier resolve to keep my mouth shut slowly waning. I have two choices. Lie to their faces, which I don’t want to do. Or tell them the truth, which I also don’t want to do. If I lie, and they find out, they’ll be gutted. I don’t want that. Charlie wasn’t the only one I hurt when I left so suddenly.
“Fine,” I sigh. “But if I tell you, you have to swear”—I point my finger to each of them in turn—“that you will not breathe a word.”
“We swear!” Milly exclaims. Mom nods excitedly, and Dad inclines his head with a soft, slow smile.
“The answer is yes. Charlie and I are trying again.”
“Yeow!” Milly cries, jumping in the air.
“Oh, darling,” Mom gushes. “I’m so happy for you.”
Dad slaps my shoulder and nods his head. “Good for you, son.”
“Yes, yes,” I gesture for them all to settle. “But it’s early. Like, early-early. I don’t want to mess this up, so not one word.” I look directly at Milly. “Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” she huffs, even though she’s still grinning from ear to ear. Putting her hand on her heart, she says, “I swear, I will not even think it.”
I roll my eyes. “Sure.”
Mom takes a pile of plates out of the cupboard. “You have to tell us all about it. What happened? Did you ask her? Did she ask you?”
“Mom,” I say, my tone lightly reprimanding.
“Well, who knows?” Mom shrugs. “Times have changed. Besides, from what I saw of her at Grandma’s party, she seemed to be enjoying herself with you.”
While Mom plates out dinner, I tell them about Eddy Crowley arriving at Charlie’s house. That information angers Mom and Milly in equal amounts. But as I relay the rest of the story, their anger passes. By the time I’m finished, and I’ve answered all their questions, we’re all sitting at the dining table.
“I couldn’t be happier for you, Troy,” Mom says. “It looks like everything is working out for you at last. The restaurant, Charlie. Everything.”
“This is a new start,” Milly adds. “You and Charlie with all the cards on the table.”
Her words grab me, and a twisting sensation turns in my gut. My sister means nothing cruel by her off-the-cuff remark, but guilt floods through me as she and Mom continue talking about how great the news is.
You see, all the cards are not on the table. Not yet. In fact, I don’t know if I can ever put all the cards on the table. Charlie goes to see her dad every week, and from what I can gather, their relationship has never been better. Who am I to ruin that? If I tell her the truth, I’ll be the one who drives a wedge between them; as much as I can’t stand the guy, I’m not sure if I can do that to Charlie.
Besides, it was so long ago now. Isn’t it better to let sleeping dogs lie?
Is that you convincing yourself not to come clean?
Yes. I suppose it is. But I’m doing it for all the right reasons. What happened back then doesn’t matter anymore. Charlie said it herself. We can’t move forward if we’re looking at the past.
Sure, but she doesn’t know what you know. Maybe her view would be different if she had all the facts.
I try to ignore my inner chatter and bring my mind back to the meal. Maybe I will tell her, but it needs to be done carefully, delicately.
“How’s the restaurant coming along?” Dad asks a little later on. “I’ll have to drop by and take a look.”
“Me, too.” Mom nods.
“It’s coming on great. I have new chairs ordered; the glasses and tableware arrive in a few days. Then there’s the shelving, the drapes, the wallpaper, and the paint. They’ll be there the day after tomorrow.”
Dad’s frowning. “Drapes? Where the heck are you putting drapes?”
I lift a hand. “Don’t ask, Dad. That’s Charlie’s department.”
The words are out of my mouth before I realize what I’ve said, and suddenly, there’s an influx of gasps and questions from three completely bewildered faces.
“Hang on. Hang on, and I’ll tell you,” I say, calming everyone down. “I hired Charlie as my interior decorator.”
This elicits even more gushing from Mom as she presses her hand to her chest and looks at me adoringly. Dad beams a great big grin, and Milly bounces up and down on her chair. “I told you. Didn’t I tell you? I told you,” she chants, clearly feeling vindicated after her earlier suggestion that I take Charlie on.
“Yes, Milly. You told me. Are you happy now?” I sigh with a smile.
“No. Not really. You should have done it sooner,” she quips back.
I roll my eyes playfully and shake my head. “You’re incorrigible,” I say, stealing Charlie”s line. It gives me a warm feeling inside when I say it because it takes me back to our time in the restaurant when I got to kiss her twice in one day. How lucky am I?
“I’ve seen Charlie’s work, son,” Mom says. “She’s going to do an amazing job.”
“I know.” I smile confidently. “That’s why I hired her.”
“So you are still paying her, even though she’s your girlfriend?” Milly said feistily.
“Of course I’m paying her. Geez, what do you take me for?”
“A bum,” Milly says and then bursts out laughing.
“Maybe you could bring her over for dinner one night?” Dad suggests.
“Oh, yes. You should,” Mom adds eagerly.
“I told you already,” I say adamantly. “We’re taking things slowly. I don’t want you guys to scare her half to death.”
“Scare her half to death?” Mom cries. “While you’ve been gallivanting around Europe, who do you think has been here for her?”
I’m a little stunned by that reply, and my eyes move around the table, looking at each of them individually. Dad’s nodding, Milly’s giving me a cocky look, and Mom has her eyebrows high on her forehead to make her point.
It hadn’t occurred to me that my own family had been there for Charlie. How could I know? I’d made it clear, very early on, that I didn’t want her name mentioned in our calls. It’s another blow to add to my guilt. I’d left her, and my family stepped in to make sure she was all right.
“I’m so sorry,” I say heavily. “I should never have—”
“We all know you didn’t go of your own accord, Troy,” Dad says. “The only person who doesn’t know that is Charlie.”
“But how—?” And then I look at Milly. “You told them.”
“They were hurting, Troy,” Milly says gently. “What was I supposed to do? Mom and Dad thought they’d done something wrong.”
“Never,” I say, looking intently from Mom to Dad. “You were the best parents I could have hoped for.”
Mom has a tear in her eye, and Dad inclines his head, acknowledging the praise. Even Milly looks a little emotional.
“When I found out, I wanted to go over and speak to Paul Woods,” Dad says. “But Milly and your mom persuaded me not to. I think they were too worried that my fists would do much of the talking.”
“The past is the past,” Mom says, trying to lighten the conversation. “It’s gone, and none of us can do anything about it.” She looks at me with such love in her eyes. “But your future, Troy, is right ahead of you. And I just know that young woman will make your life whole.”
I nod and smile. “I know, Mom. That’s why I’m going to do everything in my power not to mess this up.”