21. Orson
21
Orson
“Hi, honey, I’m home,” I call out with a grin, closing the front door behind me.
Lily texted me earlier with the news about her mom. The doctors changed her medication, and Mrs. Harper was able to return to the nursing home where she currently resides.
While I was pleased by that news and the fact that her mom had received the medical care she needed and was now well, I was far more delighted to learn that Lily was returning home. Because to me, that’s what this apartment is for us, even though our marriage is a sham.
This apartment is the place where I’ve learned the most about Lily as a person. The place I see her the most. The place I now look forward to being. Over the last few days, it’s felt pretty empty without her. I know we both work crazy hours sometimes, but even when I don’t see her, I’m aware that she’s here, which I know sounds mushy, but I don’t care.
The plain and simple fact is, I’ve missed her.
When her text came through, I was in the office, but knowing she was on the way home, I finished early and went to the store for wine. I’m also wielding a huge pizza, which smelled delicious sitting in the passenger seat of my car, and a box of chocolates. I have a notion that after the sleepless nights and the long days at her mom’s bedside, she’ll be exhausted and in the mood for comfort food.
As busy as my day has been, I have every intention of taking care of her this evening. The last time I was at the hospital, she looked wiped, as beautiful as she is. It also looked like she was the pillar that kept the three sisters upbeat. Ellie was pretty emotional, and Martha, even though she’s the oldest, seemed worried, as well she might. But Lily always had a smile, and with her witty sense of humor, she seemed to be the breath of fresh air they all needed.
But it’s taken its toll on her. Beneath her fa?ade, I know she was worried, too. Now, she needs someone to take care of her. That would be me.
I’m a bit surprised when I don’t hear her call back. Maybe she’s in the shower, or she might have even crawled into bed for some much-needed sleep. I head into the kitchen, put the wine in the fridge, and leave the pizza and chocolates on the counter. Then I switch on the coffee machine.
I figure I can keep myself busy until she shows her face. There are still some emails that I told myself I’d send when I got back here, so after pouring my coffee, I head to my office space.
Reaching my desk, I see a scribbled note sitting on the keyboard of my open laptop. I smile.
What’s she up to now?
But the smile drops from my face the moment I read the words.
Have a great life with Charlotte!
“What?”
For a second, I’m completely confused. What the heck did she mean by that?
And then, slowly, my mind works through the fact that she left the note on my computer. My emails sit there, glaring up at me. Has she seen something? At first glance, I’m still confused, but as I scroll down the page, I finally find an email from Charlie Wells. It’s been opened and read. I scan the email and catch the last line.
“Oh, Lord.”
“Lily?” I call out, hurriedly moving through the apartment. “Lily, are you here?”
The only reply I get is a deathly silence, and I begin to worry. I stride down the hallway until I reach her bedroom door. I thump my fist on it. “Lily, are you in there?”
Still no answer. I’m about to open the door when I hesitate.
What if she’s in the shower? What if she’s undressed and I barge in?
I press my ear to the door and listen for a full minute. There’s not a sound.
She’s not in there, Orson.
Hoping and praying I’m not about to walk in on something I shouldn’t see, I slowly turn the handle—as if that’s going to give her some warning—open the door slightly, and peek my head in to look. But what I see makes me gasp, and flinging the door wide open, I step into the room.
My eyes fly wide as I take in the scene before me. Drawers are lying half open. They’re all empty. The wardrobe doors are open, too. Also empty. Her dresser is completely clear, and as I scan the entire room, there’s not one bit of evidence that she ever lived here.
Like I need more confirmation, I stroll across the room and walk into her bathroom. It’s as empty as everywhere else, and I can only stand there feeling completely stunned.
“She’s gone,” I breathe, like I need to hear myself say it to make it real.
In a dazed state, I stand there far longer than I should; a minute later, I snap out of my stupor. Rummaging in my pocket and still standing in her vacated bathroom, I call Lily’s phone. It rings and rings until eventually, I hear her voice. But it’s her voicemail message, not her answering the phone.
Of course, she doesn’t answer. She didn’t the last time we had a fight, so really, why do I expect it to be any different this time?
Besides, last time, I said something mean. This time, she thinks I’m having an affair. I’d say this time was way worse!
Noting the time, I stride out of her bedroom, grab the car keys, and head out the door. I’m going to the bakery. It’s the only place she’ll be. Only this time, I won’t need to stand outside in the middle of the night, because the bakery won’t yet be closed.
I drive far too dangerously across the town and pull up outside the bakery, not caring that I’m double parked. Hurrying out of the car, I push open the bakery door and stride inside.
“Where’s Lily?” I ask Jasmine, who already looks surprised to see me.
A second ago, she was smiling at my entrance. Now, she looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“I’m sorry?” she says, her brow deeply creased.
“Lily. I need to see her. Is she upstairs?” I press.
With the same confused frown, Jasmine shakes her head. “I haven’t seen her in days, Mr. Donovan. I know she was heading back from the hospital today, but she hasn’t come here.”
I’m looking at her with a steady gaze, trying to see if the woman is telling me the truth. Clearly, Lily neither wants to see nor speak to me. She and Jasmine have been friends for a long time. I can imagine Jasmine would tell me what Lily had told her to say.
“Maybe she stopped somewhere on the way back from being with her mom. Maybe she’s back at the apartment while you’re here looking for her.” Jasmine smiles.
“Maybe,” I say. I don’t smile back.
“Have you been to the apartment?” she asks, looking at me inquiringly.
I don’t answer. I don’t want anyone in this town knowing any more of my business than necessary. Instead, I give her my number. “If she does come here, will you please call and let me know?”
Jasmine’s frown returns. She takes the number and gives me a weak nod. “I’ll get her to call you if she comes here, Mr. Donovan,” she replies diplomatically.
I suppose it’s only right that Jasmine is going to protect her friend. If there’s trouble in paradise, and that’s an understatement, friends are hardly going to throw each other under the bus. Good friends stick together, and I know Jasmine and Lily are good friends.
“Do you have any idea where she might have gone?” I ask. It’s a last resort, and I don’t really expect Jasmine to tell me, but it’s worth a shot.
With a genuine expression, Jasmine shakes her head. “Her life is this place,” she says, gesturing to her surroundings. “The very few times she’s skipped work have been because of her mom.”
“Thanks, Jasmine,” I say before diving back out of the door.
It’s a long shot, but I don’t have anything else, so, jumping into the car, I call Gloria and ask for the address of Lily’s mother’s nursing home. It’s a long drive, but I don’t care. I have to see her.
The three-hour round trip is a bust, as I imagined it might be. The last the nursing staff saw of her was at the hospital. They are kind enough to pass on a message, though, if she does call or arrive. I thank them but don’t bother leaving a message. What’s the point? Besides, I don’t think Lily’s going to go all the way down there.
She could be at her sisters’, but I have no idea where they are located. I could find out, but Gloria left the office hours ago. Instead, I return to the apartment, exhausted and utterly dejected.
The wine and pizza remain in the kitchen, but I’m not hungry. Instead, slouched into an easy chair with my tie loosened and my suit crumpling around me, I try to comfort myself with a bourbon. But Jim Beam isn’t helping, as much as I’m sure he wants to.
The sad thing is, this is all a silly misunderstanding. A misunderstanding that might just ruin everything. I was just beginning to get excited at what the future for Lily and me might be like. After our conversation at the hospital, I nearly floated home.
While it had been a complete surprise, I was thrilled to discover she had a crush on me in high school. We joked about it, and then we shared yet another tender kiss. But better than the others, that kiss was the start of something special. Or so I had thought.
Now, things are worse than before. At least before, she was still here with me. I could still see her, and smell her, and be near her. At least before, there was still a chance for us. Now, as I sit in this apartment, which feels completely cold and empty without her, I’m worried that she’s not going to believe my explanation.
She already had fears about starting a relationship. She was terrified my feelings were only a product of our circumstances, but that could not be further from the truth. Sure, we’ve been forced into proximity because of the massive lie we’re telling, but my affection for her is based on far more than living in the same apartment.
Like me, her work has always come first, and like me, she’s never had a serious relationship. This had been a huge step for both of us. Much to my delight, Lily put her fears aside and took the plunge.
I’m still struggling to come to terms with the fact that Lily could believe I would do something so awful to her. I’ve tried so hard to show her how much she means to me. After all of that, after the moments we’ve shared and the feelings we’ve expressed, how could she imagine that I could even look at someone else?
Perhaps she’s more insecure than I realized. Maybe a stupid email might just be our undoing.
I heave a sigh and take a sip of my drink. I swear, the next time I see Charlie Wells, I’m going to kill him!