20. Dara
20
Dara
“You have a child?” I blurt once we’re safely back behind closed doors.
Alex moves over to the table, refills my wine glass, and hands it to me. He refills his own and says, “You want to come and sit out back with me?”
I get the feeling this is where he’s going to tell all, and besides, I’m now eager to collapse in a heap and relax.
“Sure.”
The back porch looks out onto a huge field that seems to run for as far as the eye can see. The glow in the sky is all that remains of the sunset, and I can’t deny what a beautiful view it is. Of all the times I’ve been here, I’ve never been outside. Normally, I’ve never had time, nor am I usually here this late.
“Wow, this is stunning.”
“I like it,” he says, offering me a seat on a cushioned bench.
I sit and he sits beside me, and for a moment, he doesn’t speak. And then I think of what happened earlier when Jack mentioned Dino. Alex quickly changed the subject on purpose. I know he did. And now, I feel a bit guilty.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” I say.
“Then I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, right?” he says, looking down at me with a sadness to his smile. “The thing is, the child isn’t actually mine.”
I frown in confusion.
“I need to start at the beginning. Okay. My wife, Cindy, and I were going through a rough patch, and things felt like they were falling apart. I have to take some responsibility for that. I was always working, albeit to try and make a better life for us, but still. Lesson learned there. Things seemed to be going from bad to worse, and then she announced she was pregnant. As it does, the pregnancy brought us together. I fussed over her, and thus was home a lot more, which made her happy.”
Alex takes a long sip of his wine and sighs.
“The thing is, when the child was born, I knew something was wrong. He didn’t look anything like me, and while later, he did start to show characteristics of his mother, they weren’t there in the first month.”
“Oh no,” I gasp.
Alex shrugs and nods. “I did a DNA test without her knowing and discovered I wasn’t the baby’s father. When I confronted her, she broke down and told me that at the time when things were difficult between us, when I was away working to make our life better, she had found solace in the arms of another man.”
“Oh, Alex. I’m so sorry.”
“Like I say, lessons learned. It’s ironic really. When we moved from Cherryville to the city, I was at the hospital all the time. Training to be a doctor is a long and laborious task, but one she knew was going to take some time. While I threw everything I had into my work, Cindy didn’t adapt in the same way at all. She stayed in the tiny apartment all the time and then complained that she was lonely.”
My glass is now empty, but I don’t care. I’m so enthralled with Alex’s story, I’m hanging on to his every word.
“I told her she needed to get out of the apartment and to make some friends. It took months for her to take my advice, but eventually, she joined some book group, and she and her newfound friends met every week to review a book they’d all read. But my absence pushed her into the arms of another.”
“Poppycock,” I blurt, stealing Astrid’s word.
Alex jerks his head and looks at me. “Poppycock?”
Weirdly, it’s nearly the same reaction I had to Astrid when she said it.
“I just don’t buy it. From her side, sure, you were working all hours god sent, but she knew that was going to happen. She also knew that once you were a doctor her life would be far better, which is clearly the reason she came running back. She didn’t want to lose her meal ticket.”
Alex looks pained at that remark, and I immediately regret it.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine. You’re completely right. I figured that out right after I got the results of the DNA test, which is why I had no choice but to end it. I could have stayed with Cindy and raised Peter as my own, but then, how could I ever trust her again?”
“I’m sorry, Alex, but she didn’t deserve you. I get where you’re coming from when you say you should have been there more, but still, that’s no excuse.”
Alex shrugs. “Maybe. But that’s my cross to bear. When our relationship ended, I told her she needed to get in touch with the real father. He had a right to know. Of course, at the first sight of responsibility, he ran a hundred miles in the opposite direction.”
I’m already angry at the circumstances, and at the same time, I feel guilty for judging Alex that first night I met him at Mark’s dinner party. No wonder he was so quiet. He was carrying a world of betrayal on his shoulders.
“So, I made a deal with Cindy that I would pay for Peter until he was eighteen.”
My jaw drops open. “What?”
Alex shrugs. “I can afford to do it, and besides, how can I, in good faith, give all this money to charity and not look after a situation far closer to home?”
“But he’s not your son,” I sputter.
“The child shouldn’t have to pay for his parents’ sins.”
I’m still gawking at him when he says, “Of course, that’s not enough for my ex-wife. She’s determined to bleed me dry and has her lawyers hounding me for more money so Peter can attend private school.”
At that moment, the conversation I walked in on the other week comes to my mind. That’s what it had been about. What had I overheard Alex say?
“I have done more than enough. More than is deserved, under the circumstances. There will be no increase.”
That had to be something to do with Peter. That morning, Alex had been the maddest I had ever seen him.
For a long moment, both of us sit there, just looking out at the looming dusk. I imagine Alex is likely reliving some painful memories right now. Me? I’m still reeling that the man is such a saint. More so because of how I originally viewed him. I couldn’t have gotten it more wrong, could I?
“I think you have the biggest heart of any person I have ever met in my life,” I say. “And I know it sounds cliché, and even a bit icky, but it’s the truth.”
“I don’t think it sounds icky or cliché,” he replies. “Thank you. Those words mean a lot.”
He reaches down and takes hold of my hand. I don’t pull away because I simply don’t want to. There’s no one here for us to perform for now, but I don’t care. He has large hands with long fingers that completely envelope mine. They’re warm and strong, and I like how they feel.
Just as much as I liked the kiss that he gave me earlier. I don’t know if Alex had planned that, and at first, I thought it was for Jack’s benefit. But as his lips caressed mine, something sparked within me. I felt my heart jump, a tingling sensation ran through my entire body, and lost in the moment, I hardly cared that there were other people sitting at the table with us.
Afterwards, we’d gazed at each other, and I know I wasn’t the only one feeling the sparks that danced between us. Clearly, as he holds my hand now, something more has come from this originally fake relationship, and I can honestly say I’m excited to see where this might lead.
Astrid was right, as usual. There’s nothing stopping us from giving this a chance. We’re both adults. Sure, it’s a little scary. I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time, but Alex has done absolutely nothing to warrant my hesitation.
Surely, we both deserve happiness.
“I know this wasn’t what we planned,” he begins, gazing down at our entwined hands, “and I don’t know how you feel about us going forward. But these last few weeks have opened a door for me, Dara. A door I thought was closed for good.”
Cindy had really done a number on him. I can’t blame him for not wanting to get involved with someone again.
He looks down at me. “What do you say? Would you like to give it a go?”
I smile up at him and nod. “I would.”
He smiles back, his eyes sparkling. “You’ve been amazing, do you know that? And tonight, you couldn’t have done anymore. Thank you for everything. In fact, I want you to take tomorrow off. You’ve earned it.”
“Really?”
He nods.
“Thank you. And I’m glad your plan worked and that Jack is going to partner with you.”
“Me too. But tonight meant much more than that to me. It didn’t at the beginning, when we first started all this. But I’ve come to realize how important you really are. I don’t want you to be in my life just as my chef. I want much more than that.”
“Me too,” I breathe.
He lowers his head and, with a smile on his lips, brushes his mouth against mine. Those tingles return and rush across my body, my heart thumps against my ribcage, and I lose myself in his embrace.
If this was an animated movie, there’d be fireworks going off in front of us because that’s how alive his kiss makes me feel. Like I’m on fire, like I could explode with happiness.
After everything that has happened between us, this is the cherry on the metaphorical sundae, and I suppose, it makes all the lies I’ve told worthwhile. Now I won’t have to pretend any longer. Sure, we won’t really be engaged, but maybe we can work something out so that if that happens—When that happens?—no one needs to find out they were lied to.
When it’s time for me to leave, I float to my car in a bubble, feeling as light as a feather. Alex remains standing at his front door, and when I turn, he smiles at me and lifts a hand.
“Drive safely.” He smirks. “I know you have such a long journey.”
“Haha. You’re a funny guy,” I quip back before climbing into my car.
I’m still smiling as I drive away, and checking my rear-view mirror, Alex remains at his door until I’m completely out of sight.