23. Alex
23
Alex
I could have answered the call. I was driving, but the phone was connected to the Bluetooth in the car. But once I saw Dara’s name on the screen, I couldn’t do it, even though I was half expecting her to call.
Dara isn’t someone who beats around the bush. She wants direct conversation and answers, so I knew she’d call at some point after getting my message. Perhaps it was a little harshly written, but I was angry.
Never write a text or an email when you’re angry. That’s the golden rule, right?
But I wasn’t in any mood to be following rules.
The truth is, I’m too devastated. I just couldn’t face having to talk to her. Partly because I’m still in shock that after all her guilt about lying to everyone else, she had lied to me, and partly because I didn’t want to listen to her excuses.
I know I’m being a hypocrite, but my rational head has compartmentalized what was okay and what wasn’t. We agreed we would tell everyone a great untruth, but we also agreed that no one else could know about our deal. No one. It was just too risky.
Dara had broken that agreement. The lies we told hurt no one, but her lies have certainly hurt me. Mainly because I was finally beginning to trust someone again.
I got back to the apartment yesterday evening, and I’ve been wallowing in my sorrows ever since. This morning, I’m in foul form, and to try and make myself feel better—or deny I’m in any pain at all—I’ve spent the last few hours trying to convince myself that now the deal is done, I don’t need Dara anymore.
It’s not working.
While my head is trying to protect me, my heart is calling me a liar.
At lunchtime, my phone rings. I jump at the sound as I sit in my apartment in silence, my eyes glazed as I look out over the city. When I look at the screen, I heave a sigh.
I really don’t want to talk to anyone right now, but if I don’t answer the first time, Mike will just keep ringing until I do. He knows I don’t work weekends. He also hasn’t quite grasped the concept of people having a life beyond their job.
“Hey,” I say when I answer.
“Well, if it isn’t the prodigal son, or should I say, brother.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are back in the city, aren’t you?”
“How do you know that?” I frown. “Did you bug my phone?”
“Nah. I’m just having you followed everywhere you go, brother.” He chuckles.
I don’t join in like I normally would, and I’m about to press him into telling me how he knows I’m back, when he says, “So, how did it go on Friday? I thought you would have called and let me know.”
I’ve rung him a few times over the last few weeks. I didn’t tell him everything, but he knows I hired a chef, and he also knows that for just the evening Jack was visiting, she was going to pretend to be my girlfriend. Mike had found this highly amusing and had mocked me for quite some time. I’m just glad I didn’t tell him the entire story, or I’d never have got him off the phone.
“It went great,” I say, my tone so lackluster I sound like I’m falling asleep. “The deal’s done, and Jack’s coming on board.”
“But?”
My brows come together. “What do you mean, but?”
“You sound like you just won the lottery but you’ve only got a day to live,” Mike quips. “What’s going on?”
“It’s just been a lot of hard work. I’m tired.”
Mike doesn’t say anything for a minute, and then I hear him sigh. “It’s the girl, isn’t it?”
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, come on. You know you can’t lie to me, man. You’re my brother, remember?”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I say.
“Sure,” Mike drawls sarcastically. “I mean you’ve just brokered maybe the biggest deal of your career, and instead of celebrating like a normal person, you’re lounging in your apartment, glaring out the window.”
I sit up and look about me, wondering if he hasn’t snuck into my apartment at some point and put cameras in here.
“Seriously, how are you doing that?”
“I just know you, man. I know you like you know yourself.”
“And me being back in the city?”
“Oh, Jake saw your car yesterday. It’s a pretty distinctive car.”
Jake is my middle nephew, and though he’s probably the craziest of all of them, I also suspect he’s the smartest.
“So,” Mike continues, “are you going to spill, or are you going to make me drag it out of you?”
I spill, mainly because I know he won’t stop hounding me. Even If I hang up, he’ll just call back. My brother’s like that. Like a dog with a bone. Deep down, I know it’s because he cares. He also worries because he thinks I don’t have anybody.
Which, I suppose, I don’t. Not anymore, anyway.
When I finish telling him everything, there’s silence on the phone. For all my brother’s usual witty repertoire, he can be serious when he needs to be.
“Wow, man. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. But hey, I misjudged her.”
“I don’t think you did, and if I may be frank, I think it’s you who has the issue here.”
“What?” I blurt.
“Think about it. You drop this bombshell on this poor girl, and land all this responsibility on her shoulders. Did you really expect her to make such a huge decision without talking to her girlfriend?”
“I… I don’t know… I suppose,” I flounder.
“You have to understand, Alex, there was never any comeback for you. You might have bought that house, but you could up and leave Riverdale and never have to look any of those people in the eye again. It wasn’t the same for her. You were asking her to lie to people she grew up with.”
“I know that. She knew that too.”
“Sure, she did. But it’s not exactly the easiest decision in the world to make. Even with you dangling the money carrot in front of her face. The way I see it, she’s a woman with principles. I’ll bet it was really hard for her.”
I nod, realizing my point of view has been completely myopic. “It was.”
“There you go. And now, you’re going to judge her for talking to someone she trusts?” Mike exclaims. “I assume this friend of hers never spoke a word about what she knew, given the fact that the whole town still thinks you guys are an item.”
“Not anymore, thanks to Mark,” I quip.
“You only have yourself to blame for that, brother. You should have trusted Mark with what you were doing. He’s your best friend. And you know what I think?”
I sigh because I’m already feeling like a complete jerk, and I have no doubt that my very wise brother is going to drop another truth bomb on me.
“I don’t think you’re angry at Dara at all. I think you’re angry at yourself because she did what you should have done. She trusted her best friend.”
And as the truth explodes and showers me with far more clarity than I had before, I feel like an even bigger jerk. A double jerk, with pickles and ketchup on the side.
For a moment, I have no words. There’s nothing I can say. As usual, Mike has been my voice of reason, and he’s hit bullseye on every single thing.
How have I been so stupid? How have I been so blind?
You were hell bent on bagging that deal. You had tunnel vision.
“You still there?” Mike says.
“Yes,” I sigh. “Your idiot brother is still on the other end of the line, contemplating what a complete fool he’s been.”
“Hey, I’m sorry, man. Sometimes the truth has to come hard and fast.”
“I know. And I’m grateful. I now wonder if I haven’t completely ruined something that could have been pretty great.”
“You need to call her. If she doesn’t answer, call her until she does.”
“Like you do, you mean?” I half smile.
“It works, doesn’t it?” I can hear the smirk in his voice.
I’m about to answer him when I see another call trying to come through. It’s Mark.
“Hey, Mike. I’ve got someone trying to get through on another line. Can I ring you back?”
“Sure. Talk soon, brother.”
The second Mike hangs up, I pick up Mark’s call.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey,” he replies, sounding far less aggressive than the last time we met. “I’m calling because, well, because I overreacted. I’m sorry, Alex. In fact, I’ve come into the city to speak to you. This needs to be done face to face.”
“You’re here? In the city?” I balk, completely astonished.
“Yes, in fact, I’m downstairs. Can you buzz me up?”
“Sure. Give me a second.”
Striding across the apartment, I press the intercom. “It’s open.” But Mark doesn’t reply. I check the phone, but he’s still on the line. “Mark?”
There’s silence, and then I hear his voice again. “I’m here. I’m coming up now.”
“Cool. See you when you get here.”
I quickly clear up the mess in the living room. I ordered Chinese last night and the cartons are still lying about the place, as is the empty bottle of wine I drowned my sorrows with. With that done, I give the place a quick scan and shrug.
It’ll do. Mark will hardly care if the place isn’t spotless.
A few minutes later, the doorbell rings, and I stride across the living room. I’m nervous after our last altercation, but him being here is a good sign, right? He’s hardly going to come all this way to start another fight.
When I open the door, my eyes fly wide, and I gasp.
“Hi,” Dara says.