31. Maggie
Chapter thirty-one
Maggie
“ G ood morning, girls! How are you today?”
My favorite little students ran from their mom’s car and into the aisle of the lesson barn. “I’m sooo good,” Kellie answered with a toothy smile. “It was my birthday on Sunday, and I had so much cake and ice cream, and presents!”
Josie rolled her eyes. “Kellie, don’t brag.”
“Wow! Your birthday? How old did you turn?” I asked, Kellie’s positivity rubbing off on me.
“I turned seven!” She danced around in a circle and waved her hands in the air. “I was so excited to turn seven because Mommy said that’s when I can take the training wheels off my bike, and she would think about getting me an iPad like Josie’s.”
I melted at her innocence. No matter how many times I had to remind them to squeeze their legs into the horse or not to swing their mallet at the horses’ heads, they always brought a smile to my face.
“That’s awesome, Kellie. That sounds like so much fun!” I turned to her sister. “What about you, Josie? How are you doing?”
Josie shrugged shyly and blushed. “I’m good, I guess.”
“She got a boyfriend!” Kellie exclaimed.
Raising my eyebrows, I looked between the two sisters, who looked nearly identical despite their two-year age difference. “A boyfriend?”
“Kellie, don’t call him that!” Josie stomped, facing her sister. She turned to me, her face flushing red. “He’s not my boyfriend. My friend, Lexi, found out from this guy Rory, who’s friends with Broc, that Broc likes me.”
“And Josie has liked him for, like, forever.” Kellie crossed her arms and spoke matter-of-factly.
“Kellie!”
I chuckled. “Well, Josie, I think that’s great.
Just don’t grow up too fast, yeah? You’ve got a long, long time before you need to start worrying about boys.
” Discreetly, I glanced down at my baby bump.
Was I really twenty-two and seven months pregnant?
Was I really faking a marriage with the father of my child?
It seemed every time I asked myself these questions, I fell down a rabbit hole that only amplified my worries about Jack and me.
While it had been less than twelve hours since my doubts about Jack had emerged, it felt like I was swimming in a whirlpool of fear for our relationship, trying over and over to find out what was going on in his head.
“Yeah. She’s too young for a boyfriend anyway,” Kellie added.
“Hey! I’m older than you!” Josie stuck her tongue out, and her sister giggled in response.
It was adorable watching them banter back and forth.
The way Kellie would subtly mimic her sister’s movements and occasionally throw in a phrase that Josie often used, the way Josie always peeked at her sister for a laugh or a smile in response to something.
They bounced off each other like sunlight, acting as best friends would.
It wasn’t envy that filled me seeing them interact with each other, but it created a void that I so desperately wanted to fill with my own family.
My child deserved the family I never had.
A constant mother and father. A sibling.
Family dinners. Laughter, sobriety, and positivity that radiated through our home.
It had to be that way. They deserved nothing less.
After helping the girls tack up their horses, we headed into the arena.
Today was only their seventh or eighth lesson with mallets, so they were still learning technique and their saddle positions while they swung at the ball.
We hadn’t used an outdoor ball yet since we were practicing in a sand arena—and because it was much smaller than the arena ball, which looked similar to a miniature soccer ball—but the girls were really improving.
Their small figures helped them to maneuver quickly, and they had gained more confidence with their riding skills.
Their favorite horses were Hamlet and Paloma, the horses I taught them on during our first lesson together.
“Okay, let’s warm up our horses before we start swinging the mallet!
” I called while shutting the gate to the arena.
Kellie, who rode Hamlet, passed me in a whoosh at the trot.
Her petite figure displayed a perfect position on the horse: heels down, toes forward, hand quiet, and shoulders back.
I smiled at her confidence. She was the cutest little thing, looking almost identical to her older sister, and always offered a smile to whoever passed by.
Pride surged through me at seeing their impressive progress in just a few months.
“Good job, girls! You both look amazing.” My hands moved to my lower back as I leaned backward to take some pressure off my back. “Let’s make a couple of circles to make sure our horses aren’t stiff or sore anywhere, then we can start some practice swings.”
The girls did as I said and turned their horses inward, using their left hands to steer with their double reins.
With new students, I fell into the rhythm of using the analogy of the reins being used like a joystick.
Forward, left, right, and back were the only directions you needed to move them.
I found it simplified the process for people who had never ridden a horse before.
Just as I started the girls with practice swings, Lina appeared at the arena gate and waved me over.
“Let’s just stick and ball for a few minutes, girls, then we can work on some drills and technique.
” I walked—more like waddled in that deep sand with my belly bump—to the gate to greet Lina. “Hey, what’s up?”
She looked concerned, an expression she seldom displayed, and she shifted uncomfortably. “Can you do me a huge favor? Actually, it’d be killing two birds with one stone.”
I raised my eyebrows. Clearly, I wouldn’t be getting the whole story at this time, but hopefully, she’d confide in me later, so I could make sure everything was okay. “Of course. What do you need me to do?”
She sighed in relief. “By chance, could I take this lesson from you? You’d still get the money for it, but I’m sort of…
avoiding someone right now.” She stammered the last few words, causing my suspicions to rise further.
Lina must have noticed, because she continued.
“Also, Jack just showed up at the barn with the trailer, and he says he needs your help.”
My stomach dropped. It was the first time I felt nervous to see Jack since the night I found out about my pregnancy.
I disliked the returning feeling. Why was he here?
Didn’t he have young green horses to train?
Weren’t there more important things he needed to tend to instead of visiting me at the barn in the middle of the workday?
“Oh…uh, sure. Do you know why Jack’s here? ”
It was Lina’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “Is everything okay with you guys?”
Of course, I could fake an entire marriage and baby conception story to my closest friend at the club, but I couldn’t hide my feelings when it came to my uncertainty with Jack. Was I really that obvious?
“Yeah…” I started, glancing back at the girls hitting the ball around the arena. They were contesting who could hit their ball further. I turned back to Lina. “It’s just…I don’t know. He was acting distant last night, and I’m not sure how to handle it.”
“He’s got a bit of a past, right? I heard a couple of things about him from girls who have played here.”
I shrugged. “I guess so. We don’t really bring it up, since that phase of his life is over.”
“I’m sorry, Maggie. Honestly, it sounds like we both could use some girl time. Want to come over tonight? I know you can’t drink, but I can make you a cute little mocktail with an umbrella.
Spending time unloading everything in my head and being a stand-in therapist for her sounded like a breath of fresh air.
I needed friends more than anything now, because when the baby came, I knew I would be stuck in the newborn bubble.
“Lina, that’s exactly what I need. Oh, my god , do I need to get out of the house. ”
Lina tossed her head back and laughed. “Sounds like a date, then. Meet me at my place at eight?”
“Perfect.” I smiled and pointed a finger. “But, you have to tell me who you’re avoiding.”
“Ugh.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled uncomfortably. “Deal.”
“Well, have fun. The girls look a little competitive today, so you might have to put them in a little one-on-one.”
“Sounds like a plan!” Lina’s perky instructor voice flipped on as she entered the arena with a huge smile. “Okay, girls, listen up!”
A wave of warmth swelled through me at having a friend like Lina.
We’d gotten close in the months that I had been working at the barn.
She was a great listener and a loyal friend.
I loved that we could come to each other when we needed to debrief and help each other.
I didn’t have many close girlfriends at my club at home.
It was mostly just my polo family I was friendly with, but hardly confided in.
Jack was one of the first people I could genuinely open up to who understood my passion for polo.
It was what made us fit together so well.
Speak of the devil, shiny blonde hair was the first thing that caught my eye as I made my way toward the barn. My heart thumped in my chest at the sight of him. It felt like I was walking toward a stranger—someone I knew so well, but a lifetime had passed us by.
“Hey, you.” A grand smile brightened his face, a complete contrast from last night.
“I have a surprise.” He slapped the side of the trailer with his left arm, his right propped on his hip.
Trying to peer through the metal crevices, I noticed only one horse occupied the twelve-horse trailer.
It was Neva, Jack’s flea-bitten gray, looking alarmed and confused.
I eyed Jack curiously, then the horse. “What’s going on?”