36. Maggie
Chapter thirty-six
Maggie
B liss. Pure, unbridled bliss wrapped around me like a silk blanket as I woke up with Jack’s arms around me.
He was so warm and, despite his muscular build, soft pressed against my back.
His mouth rested on the spot where my shoulder met my neck, releasing quiet, even breaths, a stark contrast from everything that had happened the night before.
I had been so afraid—and not just from his uncontrollable breaths.
The way he shook, pale and helpless before my eyes…
it caused me to realize how human this man really was.
It sounded stupid, but even his charming, unbreakable mask fooled me sometimes, and seeing that the former persona ripped from his body revealed a shriveled, broken Jack—it only made me cherish him more.
I loved Jack through and through. Strong or weak. Together or apart. He held me up through all my anxieties with this baby and otherwise, and that was exactly what I intended to do for him. I wanted to hold him forever.
Jack stirred behind me, his hand covering my bump, rubbing small circles on my skin.
I glanced down at it. The dichotomy of us squeezed my heart.
His rough fingertips on the smooth, stretched skin of my belly.
The blonde hairs on his knuckles against my brown waves.
The charmer who would take down anyone for me.
“I love you,” a husky whisper in my ear spoke, and a kiss followed. I sighed with content while Jack’s hand continued rubbing my baby bump. “Good morning, Anya.”
I startled, hearing the name I had been pondering for the last few weeks, before remembering I had spoken it out loud to Jack.
It was the second time I heard the word from his lips, and the way he said it confirmed that it was the name our baby deserved.
I could only hope we could use it if it turned out to be a girl.
I hadn’t decided on a boy's name I liked best yet.
I just…felt like there was a baby girl inside of me.
“Anya.” I mimicked his pronunciation. I liked that he said it with his accent. I loved it when he didn’t hide it from me. “I like how you say it.” When I turned to face him, his eyes immediately locked with mine.
But not without an unsubtle glance at my lips.
“What do you mean?”
“Your accent. I like when you don’t hide it.”
Jack didn’t roll his eyes like I assumed he would. Instead, he raised his brows in surprise with a genuine question on his lips. “What?”
“Oh, come on, Jack. You’re not as subtle as you think you are. I love your accent. I wish you didn’t cover it up so much.”
He shifted and glanced at the wall behind me before meeting my gaze again. “I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’ve always done it.”
“I know,” I spoke softly. “I remember when we were six and you talked for the horses in that accent.”
“Mags,” he groaned, then shook his head and laughed. “That was years ago.”
“Doesn’t mean I forgot.” I tugged on my bottom lip and gazed up at him.
Without another word, Jack cupped my face and took my mouth, groaning when we connected.
Unlike anyone else, he made me feel overwhelmed with passion to embrace the person he was.
I had spent years trying to see my dad in a different light, trying to change him before he was ready to change himself.
I wanted to forget that his actions caused the gaping hole of a mother in my life.
I wanted to pretend everything was okay.
And while everything with Jack started out as pretending, I was only living behind the inevitable truth that nothing about Jack was fake or pretend…
except the way he covered his accent. He thought himself an open book, that strangers knew of his immense struggles with anxiety.
His only safe haven was the American facade he put on.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, basking in the way he worshiped my body.
The way every touch and breath and kiss was on purpose.
How he branded me with his lips, never to be unclaimed again.
The understanding that his dedication to our family had turned his life upside down, and he still came out strong.
With battle scars, but still strong.
***
“Lina?” I opened the front door a few inches to reveal my confidant and closest friend, whose anxious expression from last night was wiped away and replaced with that peppy smile that almost always greeted me.
Surprised to see her wearing something that was not her usual barn attire, I stepped back to let her through the threshold. “What are you doing here?”
Her face brightened as her eyes scanned the main living area. “I can’t believe that in all the months you’ve been here, I still haven’t seen your house.”
I chuckled. “Not many people ever come over.” Jack was private about his space, always suggesting we go elsewhere to meet people.
This was his safe place. “But you’re welcome anytime.
” I gestured to her getup, light-blue bell-bottom jeans with brown booties and a black, scoop-neck top. “What’s the occasion?”
“Uhm, happy birthday!” she exclaimed like it was obvious and threw her arms around me. I let out a soft laugh and loosened up. I didn’t remember ever telling Lina when my birthday was, but I guessed that she found it on a form or something when filing my employment paperwork.
Hugging her back before she pulled away, I reveled in the gracious feeling that came over me.
I hadn’t had a good friend in so long. While Lina and I were still in our early stages of friendship, my confiding in her last night felt like a huge stepping stone for us.
I had her to thank for pushing me to spill my feelings and finally allow someone besides Jack past my stone barrier.
“Okay, go get dressed because we’re going shopping!” She squealed like a teenager.
“Wait, shopping? Don’t we have work today?”
Granted, Jack had already played—and won—his game that morning, insisting I watch on the sidelines.
As I got further along in my pregnancy, Jack became more insistent about keeping me away from handling horses, nervous about an accident that could hurt me or the baby.
I trusted myself, and I was sure that nothing would happen, but it kept his feelings at ease and allowed me to ogle his incredible skills on the field.
Lina shook her head. “Nope. I took care of everything at the barn this morning because you –” she pointed to me as if I were in trouble, “–deserve a day off. And a birthday shopping trip.”
Holding in my smile was inevitable. I was eternally grateful to Lina.
“Now, go upstairs and change. I’m going to stare at this fantasy of a living room.”
I laughed as I started up the stairs. Shopping seven months into my pregnancy seemed frivolous, since whatever I bought wouldn’t be wearable in two more months, and I wasn’t sure how I would look postpartum.
Still, Lina’s insistence and thoughtfulness pushed any rational thoughts away.
She was right. It was my birthday, and I deserved a day of something mindless and enjoyable.
Staring into the mirror in the mid-length blue dress that accentuated my bump gave me a rush of butterflies. My baby was in there. Waiting to come out. Waiting to call me mama . A shiver followed down my spine. I was ready for this.
“That dress is dangerous, Maggie Hennicke,” a husky voice said from behind me.
I glanced above my shoulder in the mirror to find Jack standing in the doorway leading to our bathroom.
His eyes fixed on the curves of my body as he slowly walked up behind me.
The closer he got, the more excited my skin became to feel his fingertips run across it, to feel his warmth and fire.
“It’s my new favorite.”
“Yeah, no kidding. I want to see you in this every day.” His mouth came closer to my ear as his massive hands shaped my hips. “And out of it.”
I blushed.
Jack looked delectable in his freshly showered look. He smelled like leather, and his blonde locks were still damp. His t-shirt and jeans hugged his body in all the right places. Just looking at him made my insides tingle.
We made eye contact in the mirror after he placed a kiss on my shoulder. The skin his lips touched burned with an ache I knew would have to wait until tonight to be soothed.
“Lina wants to take me shopping.” I tried to waive the jitters my voice suggested.
“Oh, yeah?”
I nodded.
“Well, have fun, beautiful.” He placed another kiss on my shoulder.
“We will.” I turned in his arms to place a soft peck on his lips.
He kissed me back, taking my bottom lip between his. “Oh, and happy birthday, baby.”
* * * *
Lina and I drove the short thirty minutes to downtown Sheridan to a newly built shopping center with loads of familiar stores.
Since I wasn’t entirely educated on where to buy maternity clothes, and my trips into the city were limited, most of my wardrobe for the last few months was from Target or Amazon.
Pregnancy suited me in the most perfect and unlikely way.
I didn’t walk as fast, so I took in the views around me.
I was becoming more in touch with my body and learning to put it first. I had a family to fight for.
My life had a purpose that wasn’t just my passions.
It was filled with people teaching me, caring for me, and loving me.
This moment in time was only one example.
“So, where do we start?” Lina pulled her gray SUV into a parking spot near a strip of boutiques and turned off the ignition. Her phone pinged, causing her to pull it from her back pocket. She rolled her eyes and stuffed it away before turning back to me with her perky expression.
I raised my brows in question.
“What?”
“Is everything okay?”
She looked surprised that I even asked. “Of course, why?”
“Okay, you tried to play down everything that happened with Felix, and it ended up being a big deal for–”
“It was not a–”
“So forgive me for thinking I can read you better than that.” I winked.
She rolled her eyes and glanced away, wheels turning in her head. “It’s not Felix.” She turned back to me. “Good?”
At first glance, Lina seemed like an open book, but now I was realizing she presented herself in that way on purpose. She held her cards close to her chest, and I hadn’t even tried to look at them. “Is something going on?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, she said, “I don’t want to burden you with it. It’s your birthday.”
I scoffed. “Please. It will take my mind off my swollen ankles and the fact that I probably won’t fit into anything at these stores.”
She gave me a funny look. “First of all, everything you try will fit you like a glove.”
My cheeks warmed. “And second?”
Lina turned to open her door, motioning for me to do the same.
When we met at the back of the car and started toward the shops, she spoke.
“It’s really nothing much. My parents are getting on me about moving home with them because they found me the ‘perfect husband’ and the ‘most fitting job.’” She rolled her eyes and made quotations with her fingers.
“It sounds like torture, and it’s the last thing I want to do.
But letting them down easy isn’t really working in my favor. ”
It wasn’t what she confessed that shocked me. It was Lina’s first act of vulnerability with me. She trusted me, just like I trusted her with the secret that began everything for Jack and me. “Where do your parents live?”
“Santa Barbara,” she answered quickly. “With the rich polo folk and all that.”
“Ah…” I wasn’t exactly sure how to maneuver my way through the pinch of jealousy that swam through my chest at the idea of a mother wanting to be close to her child, and the need to be a confidant for Lina. “Teaching polo wasn’t their dream job for you?”
“Not exactly. More like a realtor slash trophy wife.” She shook her head and let out a half-laugh. “I think I burned out with every man they tried to set me up with.”
“Atta girl.”
We walked along the sidewalk and into the first shop that caught my eye.
Venturing through the selection of clothing, accessories, and shoes, Lina continued.
“I just want my life to be my own. I want my independence. If they want to see me more often, they can ask me to visit or come out here, but…”
“You should tell them that. Word for word.”
Lina gasped, pulling a shirt from the rack she had been searching through and holding it up to me.
It was a black off-the-shoulder top with a plunging neckline and a tight middle section.
A few folds of fabric covered the breast area, giving it class and elegance.
“Maggie, you have to buy this for tonight,” she gushed.
Her excitement about the top was infectious. “Tonight?”
She smirked. “Duh, it’s your birthday. Jack is probably taking you somewhere fancy to celebrate. Plus,” she motioned up and down at the top. “You’d look hot in this.”
I chuckled and tried to reach to peek at the price tag before Lina pulled it away abruptly. “Nope. I told you I was taking you shopping. This is on me.”
“Lina! This is a super nice store, and that is a super nice top.” I pointed to it. “There is no way I’m letting you buy that for me.”
Clearly, my scolding did nothing, because Lina tucked the shirt beneath her arm with a wink and continued flipping through hangers.
I sighed with a small smile. Lina was so special.
She shined brighter than anyone I had ever met and continued to be so generous, even if it meant taking me shopping when she knew canceling lessons today wasn’t the best business decision.
But she did it anyway, because she was Lina.
We spent the afternoon meandering around the plaza, popping in and out of the small boutiques, grabbing lunch, and sitting on a padded bench for an hour to calm my swollen ankles.
It was a beautiful October day, and the temperature was just cool enough for a sweater, which Lina also insisted on buying me.
Every few minutes, she would glance down at her phone, making sure not to let me have a peek at the screen.
“Got a hot date?” I asked when I finally picked up that she didn’t want me seeing her phone.
She quickly looked up at me with alarm in her eyes before giving a shy smile. “Oh, you have no idea.”