Chapter 9 - Ava
AVA
I drove as far as I could until I had to pull over. The tears gathering in my eyes blurred my vision, and my hands were trembling around the steering wheel. I threw the car into park but didn’t turn it off. The soft hum of the engine kept me grounded. Barely.
I needed a moment to gather myself, but it wasn’t happening. The longer I sat there, the thicker the air got. It was hard to breathe, as if my chest was on the verge of caving in. All of this from one stupid kiss… alright, it wasn’t stupid. It was everything… maybe too much.
That kiss drove home that I’d never actually dealt with my pain from years ago.
If I had, it wouldn’t have affected me so much.
When Lincoln shattered my heart, I locked all the emotions away and pretended to be okay.
That one moment of passion showed me there was still something simmering between us, and it scared me.
I couldn't afford to go back there, to that place where I was so in love I couldn't see reality…
Twelve years ago…
The curtains swung open with a soft whoosh as I yanked them apart.
I gasped at the view through the glass. The sun was setting.
It looked as if there was a gorgeous fire blazing on the horizon—gold bleeding into streaks of pink and lavender.
In front of it was the sparkling surface of the sea.
The tide had pulled back, revealing a stretch of white sand.
“Lincoln,” I breathed, stepping closer to the glass door of the beach house he’d rented for the weekend. “It's beautiful.”
Behind me, I heard the soft rustle of our bags being dropped and then his footsteps coming closer. He didn’t touch me, but I felt his warmth on my back. His tall, comforting presence made me feel entirely safe.
“I told you it was worth the drive,” he murmured.
“I can’t believe you rented a whole Airbnb and on the seaside no less,” I murmured, still staring at the pretty picture of our weekend backyard.
His arms circled my waist then, and I leaned into him. “Maybe I’m trying to impress my girlfriend.”
I smiled, my heart sprinting a hundred miles a minute.
It did that a lot with Lincoln, even when we just spoke on the phone.
After that kiss three months ago, all we had were chats over the phone.
A part of me was terrified he’d lose interest. But he came back for the summer, and he wanted to be with me.
I was excited about our summer together.
It was all we had before he was gone again. I’d enjoy every minute of it.
“This weekend is going to be great,” he announced, pulling away. “Come on, let’s get started with dinner.”
The weekend was indeed great. The best. Spending time with Lincoln like that only made me fall deeper in love with him.
On the second night of our getaway, we lay on a heap of blankets and pillows sprawled across the porch that overlooked the ocean.
It was quiet except for the sound of waves crashing gently in the distance and the faint rustle of leaves moving in the breeze.
Salt clung to the air and to our skin after our swim earlier.
My head rested on Lincoln’s shoulder. He had one arm wrapped around me and the other tucked behind his head.
We hadn’t said much in the past few minutes.
We didn’t have to. The silence between us had never been awkward.
It was full of warmth and ease. The kind that made you feel as if you were exactly where you were supposed to be, with who you were supposed to be with.
“Did Ethan give you crap about not hanging out with him this weekend?” I asked after a while. I was worried about their relationship. After our first kiss, Lincoln confessed to feeling bad—not about our kiss but because he knew Ethan would be pissed.
There wasn’t much going on between us at the time, so I told him we should keep things secret.
But then our conversations got more intense.
They went on longer each night, and our feelings for each other grew.
I snuck away to meet him for our first official date because I couldn’t wait for the summer.
We knew then that things were serious between us. We were still so young, but we knew.
Then, when Lincoln came home for the summer, he was ready to tell Ethan about us. I begged him not to. I wasn’t ready to be the girl who came between best friends. He said he’d wait… for now.
“He did, but he let up when I told him I was ditching him for a girl. Technically, I didn’t lie to him. He said he was happy for me because I’m finally dating again.”
My lips twisted wryly. If only Ethan knew the girl in question. Lincoln told me it was hard to juggle a social life with school and football, so he hadn’t dated for a while.
“What does he think you’re doing this weekend?” he asked, giving me a side glance.
“He and my parents think I joined Melody for her trip to her grandparents’ in Connecticut.”
“Okay,” he said. But I heard the mild frustration in his voice. Lincoln hated sneaking around.
That put a damper on my mood. I didn’t want him to regret being with me.
“Hey, what’s that pout for?”
I peeked up at him. “Nothing.”
“Are you seriously going to lie to me like that?” he asked with a hint of amusement.
I gave in fast. Lincoln was the kind of guy who made it feel okay to tell him anything. “I know you hate keeping things from Ethan. I’m sorry.”
He stared at me for a moment, and then he shuffled so that we were sitting up. “I don’t want you to feel sorry about anything. We’re not supposed to think about anything but us this weekend, remember?”
I nodded.
“Looks like I have to get your mind back in the game.”
My eyebrows shot up.
“I’ll just give you your surprise.” He looked up at the sky. “I was waiting for the perfect moment. Seeing as how we’re under the stars and all, you’d say this is a pretty romantic setup, wouldn’t you?”
I let out a laugh. “Yes. Lincoln, what are you going on about? What surprise?”
He grinned and got up. I watched him with curiosity as he jogged inside and came back. Sitting down, he handed me a long jewelry box.
“This is definitely a surprise,” I said, inspecting it. Then my heart lurched. “I didn’t know we were exchanging gifts. I didn’t get you anything.”
He smiled. “This is your belated birthday present.”
“My birthday was two months ago.”
“And I didn’t get to celebrate it with you.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up a finger.
“No, telling you happy birthday over the phone wasn’t enough,” he said. “Go on, open it.”
Smiling, I flipped the box open. Nestled inside was a gold necklace. The chain glistened, but the pendant stole my breath. It was a single round-cut diamond—minimalist yet elegant. My eyes bulged at the name of an expensive jewellery brand scrawled on the inside of the box.
“Lincoln, I can’t accept this.”
“Why not?”
“It looks expensive,” I said, still staring at the beautiful piece. “You’re in college. This Airbnb is already too much…”
One corner of his mouth lifted into that cocky grin. “Do you like the necklace?”
“Of course. It’s gorgeous.”
“Then happy birthday.”
I looked at him, then back at the necklace. I wanted to accept it because it was from him. I’d never gotten anything this insanely expensive from anyone before. “But how could you afford it?”
“Sign-on bonus.”
“Oh…” Right. NFL recruiters had their eyes on him since high school, but he held out.
His one request this year was to finish his last year at Harvard—smart.
He was officially a pro athlete. I was so proud of him.
It was what he’d wanted since he was a kid.
The only drawback was that we didn’t have much time together until he got super busy.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Staring at the necklace, I whispered. “We don’t have much time…”
He shuffled closer and tilted my chin up with a finger. “We have all the time in the world. It doesn’t matter where life takes us, Ava. I’m going to marry you and give you the world.”
The certainty behind his words almost made me swoon.
“This,” he lifted the necklace out of the box, “is just a start. I love you.”
My heart did all sorts of acrobatics in my chest. This wasn’t the first time he’d said the magic word.
He said them all the time at the end of our phone conversations, but it still felt like a dream.
“I love you, too.” He wanted to marry me.
Of course, I knew he didn’t mean now, but he saw a future for us.
“Now that we’ve got that out of the way. Will you accept my gift?”
I laughed and lifted my hair so he could clasp the chain around my neck. The pendant landed between my breasts, and I picked it up to touch it reverently.
“I love it. Thank you.”
His gaze dropped to my chest. “It looks even better on you than I imagined.”
I flushed under the weight of his gaze as I leaned forward to brush my lips against his. The gentle kiss of gratitude turned into something deeper and hungrier. Lincoln’s hand slid around my waist, drawing me onto his lap. As I straddled him, I palmed his cheeks to kiss him with new intensity.
His lips were warm and demanding, while his hands caressed my skin. The only barrier between us was my skimpy bikini and his swim trunks. I wanted them gone. I wanted to feel all of him. We hadn’t made love yet, and I thought this was the perfect moment. I was ready.
Lincoln tore his lips from mine with a small groan. “Let’s slow down. I’m in a bit of a crisis here.” His voice rang with amusement, but I heard the undertone of agony. I blushed from the root of my hair to my toes when I felt his erection straining between us.
“We don’t have to slow down. I’m ready.”
He froze. I doubted he even breathed. Only his eyeballs moved, searching my face. “You know I didn’t bring you here to pressure you into sex, right? I just wanted us to have some quality time…”
I pressed my finger to his lips. “I know, but I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”