Chapter 12 Lincoln #2
“Well, I need to get blinding drunk, Mike. Okay? That’s the only way I’ll escape my wretched thoughts. That’s why I came here rather than going home. If I’m alone, my guilt will eat me alive.”
“What the hell happened, Linc?”
I took a gulp and winced as the liquor burned its way down. I started the bourbon fest at the restaurant after Ava walked out. I had quite a few before I got an Uber.
“My ex-girlfriend happened.”
His features twisted into lines of confusion. “The only ex I know about is—”
“It’s not Charlotte.” Charlotte was the only woman I dated seriously after Ava. She was now happily married to one of my best friends, Jamie. It sounded strange, but it was a romance worthy of making the Hallmark Channel. I was happy for those crazy kids.
“Lincoln, you’ve never dated seriously after Charlotte. Which ex has you drinking like this and stumbling around drunk?”
Flopping back, I tucked my chin into my chest. “The one I never uttered a word to you guys about because it was too painful.”
Michael’s eye widened a fraction. My tight-knit circle of five had very few secrets between us.
“She showed up in LA the other day. I never thought I’d see her again. I mean, it isn’t like I had any reason to visit Springfield since my parents moved. The reunion was… tense.”
Michael sat forward with his elbows on his knees, watching me as if trying to defuse a bomb. “Okay… and are we going to talk about it or just drink about it…?”
I took another gulp. Both. Maybe I needed to get everything off my chest. After a moment of silence, I began, “I never stopped loving her. Not for a second.”
Michael sat back and let out a low whistle. “Damn.” After a sip from his glass, he said, “I’ve known you since college and have never seen or heard you like this.”
“I thought that maybe if I never mentioned her, I’d get over her. I know now how stupid that was.”
I told him the tale of how I developed feelings for my best friend's sister, fell madly in love with her, had the best summer of my life, and broke things off. “Her brother found out,” I shared. “He was livid. It was like the ultimate betrayal to him because we all grew up together.”
“Linc, I get that it might be weird for someone accepting their best friend dating their sister. But is it really that serious? Besides, you’re a decent guy. You always have been.”
I stared into my glass. “I told her I was going to marry her and give her the world. I would never have intentionally hurt her.”
“Then why give in to her brother and break things off?”
My heavy sigh floated between us. “Because Ethan was right.”
“About?”
“I was leaving, diving into life as a pro athlete. That would have been hard on any relationship. Ava and I had just stared out, and we were kids. She was nineteen. Ethan said she deserved more than to be left behind, waiting to see me a few times a year. That she’d be devastated when she realized later how much time she wasted on a long-distance relationship. ”
I shook my head, re-living the blowout argument between Ethan and me.
“Even when I was adamant that I just needed a little time to cement my career and finances, I’d come back for her, make her my wife, give her everything she ever dreamed of…
He called me a foolish romantic and said, I’d be sleeping with groupies within the week and forget about Ava.
We got into a physical fight after that. ”
Michael quirked an eyebrow, but stayed quiet.
“In the end, part of me was convinced that he was right. I wasn’t good for Ava.
It wouldn’t be fair to her to have her sitting around, waiting for God knew how long.
Plus, I always saw this flicker of fear and sadness in her eyes whenever we talked about me leaving.
I thought I was doing right by her at the time. ”
Michael nodded. “I get it.”
“She hates me now. I said some hurtful things when I broke up with her. When she refused to accept the end of our relationship, I told her I didn’t mean it when I said I loved her and what we had…
” I swallowed because even now the words made me nauseous.
“What we had was nothing more than a silly summer fling.”
Michael winced. “Jesus, Linc.”
“Yup.” I took another huge gulp of alcohol as if I could somehow punish myself with the way it burned my throat. “Later, as my career and fame grew, a lot of rumors were put out about me in the media…” That was why I hated all things media-related with such passion.
Michael grunted. “Like that blatant lie about you getting caught sleeping with that actress and her twin sister?"
I snorted. “Yeah. Can you imagine Ava, still being my girl, waiting for me back in Springfield, reading about shit like that in blogs? And it was constant… all the lies… At what point would it have broken her? Us? After a while, I saw what Ethan was talking about. A part of me didn’t regret breaking things off with her.
She deserved someone who would be there for her—a normal relationship.
In my mind, I was setting her free and saving my friendship with her brother.
But I ended up hating him too much when I saw the hurt in Ava’s eyes.
I couldn’t stomach talking to him for a while, and we grew apart.
So, I lost my girlfriend and my best friend that summer. ”
“Why not tell her what happened?”
I shook my head. “I thought about it, but what would be the point? All that might do is cause tension between her and her brother. Plus, she’s engaged.
Well, she mentioned something about that no longer being the case.
I don’t know… but I don’t want to throw all of that at her and disrupt her life now. ”
Michael let out a quiet breath and refilled my glass. I gave him an appreciative look and continued to drown my sorrows.