Chapter 22
LINCOLN
I felt like such a fool, avoiding Ava like my life depended on it.
I’d dodged her all through dinner—kept conversations light, avoided eye contact, and conveniently busied myself with refilling wine glasses or laughing too hard at someone’s story. But she kept looking at me.
Olivia, sharp as she was, realized she’d let out something I had wished to keep secret. She’d pulled me aside and apologized profusely. Of course, I couldn’t be mad at her. She, along with everyone, thought Ava and I were back together. I wanted that to be reality so badly.
Now, hours later, I was waist-deep in the pool on the terrace, soaking up the tropical air and still kind of stewing in embarrassment.
What went through her mind after finding out I named an island after her?
Sure, I wanted her to know how I still felt about her, that I never stopped loving her.
But I planned to ease into things, regain her trust and love one day at a time.
Was she freaked out about Cay d’Ava? I hadn’t told her the name of the place, not even when she asked.
I’d mumbled something vague about Belize and changed the subject.
The soft pad of her footsteps reached me before I saw her. She stepped out onto the terrace wearing a silk robe.
I braced myself.
She walked to the edge of the pool and sat with her feet in the water. We were close enough for me to feel her body heat. I gazed at her. Neither of us said a word. Amber eyes that had always hypnotized me searched my face.
Finally, she said, “Cay d’Ava, huh?”
I exhaled slowly, dragging my hands through the water. “I know you’ve been dying to bring that up.”
“I’ve been trying to decide if it’s insane or romantic.”
“Can it be both?”
One side of her mouth curled into a half smile. “You named an island after me, Lincoln.”
“I did.”
“When did you purchase this place?”
“Four years ago.”
“Long after we broke up. Eight years, to be exact.”
“I bought it from this eccentric French guy, who was always going on about romance. He suggested naming the place after…”
“After what?”
I swallowed. “My first love,” I grumbled.
Her soft sigh sounded like a whisper in the breeze. “I see.”
I glanced at her. Did she really? Did she see that it wasn’t just about my first love, but my current one?
That I never gotten over her? Maybe she was freaked out.
This was proof that I’d been hung up on her this entire time while she fell in love with someone else and went so far as to get engaged.
“Is this going to make things weird between us?” I asked.
She was quiet for a moment, her feet skimming the water's surface as she stared into the pool. “Well, things are weird enough between us. Can it get any more awkward?”
I smiled at that. “I guess not.” It was funny how the weirdness vanished when we were in each other’s arms, though.
“I don’t mind the name of the island, Lincoln.
It’s just that I don’t understand why. Why even acknowledge me in any way after all these years?
You’re the one who walked away. You named this place after your first love, yet you told me years ago that you didn’t really love me.
I’m so confused. I have been since the night I ran into you. ”
The little quiver in her voice almost broke me.
I turned in the water so that I stood directly in front of her.
The moonlight made the tears welling in her eyes shimmer.
She didn’t look away or flinch. This time, for the first time since we reunited, she allowed me to see everything. Her pain, confusion, and heartbreak.
“I know I hurt you,” I said, voice low and raw. “I’ve said it before, but I need you to hear it again. I’m sorry, Ava. I’m so damn sorry.”
Her lips parted, but no words came out. Her eyes searched mine, as if she were trying to decide if she could believe me this time.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” I continued. “But what I did to you haunts me to this day.”
Her breath hitched. “Then why did you… leave the way you did?”
My gaze stayed fixed on her as I gathered my thoughts.
She and her brother had a great relationship growing up.
I bet they were still super close. As much as I resented Ethan sometimes, I didn’t have the heart to hurt her again by bringing up her brother.
Besides, I had to take accountability. Ethan didn’t force me to do anything.
“I was young and stupid, Ava…”
She let out a sound, something between a sob and a laugh. “Well, we both were. I guess I can’t hold that against you.”
A tear slid down her cheek. The sight of it was like a dagger in my heart.
“You know, Lincoln, I was mad at you for so long. I told myself that I hated you even.”
I hung my head. I couldn’t blame her.
“But the truth is, I don’t hate you. We were both kids when we foolishly fantasized about forever.”
It wasn’t foolish. I still wanted it. But rather than interrupt her, I stayed quiet and let her express whatever she needed to.
“I questioned everything after you left. I thought maybe I wasn’t good enough.”
I shook my head, unable to let that slide. There was no way I’d let her think that for another second. “No, you were more than enough. You were perfect.”
She smiled, but there was sadness in it.
“When I unexpectedly saw you again, I felt all the fury and resentment I had wallowed in for a time. I waited for you to show me why I should continue resenting you. I was sure you’d be different—some rich, celebrity jerk.”
My eyebrows popped up.
“But you didn’t validate my assumptions at all.” She dashed away a tear. “You’re still… you. My Lincoln.”
The note of annoyance in her tone made me wary. “And that pisses you off…?”
She laughed. “Well, sort of, because now I have no reason to hold on to resentment. I have to forgive you, Lincoln. It’s time.”
Her words were unexpected and powerful enough to knock the breath from my lungs.
They also left me feeling warm from the inside out.
I hadn’t realized how heavy the guilt I’d been carrying was until she forgave me.
Years of regret, of replaying that final fight, of wondering what might have happened if I hadn’t given in to her brother…
All of it loosened its grip on my chest. I physically felt it.
I swallowed hard. “You have no idea what that means to me.”
She gave me a watery smile. “So what now, Mountain Man?”
I chuckled at the old moniker.
“Are we going to be friends now?”
I parted her knees slowly and then stepped between them.
She didn’t pull away. Her eyes stayed locked on mine, steady and open in a way they hadn’t been before.
I slid a hand around her nape and touched my lips to hers.
The kiss was slow, a gentle exploration.
My tongue traced the seam of her lips until they parted.
I dipped inside, tasting her sweetness. Ava sighed into my mouth, her fingers curling around my arms.
When I eased up, she breathed, “Friends don’t kiss each other like that.”
“Precisely.” Fuck no, I didn’t want to be friends.
Fire flared in her eyes, letting me know she didn’t mind if we were more than friends. Why go back there when I’d had her in every sexual position known to man over the last few days? She tugged at the tie of her robe and slid the garment off, revealing a white and gold bikini.
Immediately, my eyes dropped to her breasts, barely cupped by the material. My mouth watered.
“Thank you for this,” she said. “The swimwear, lingerie, clothes, jewellery, shoes. Now that we’re a little more than friends, I don’t feel weird accepting all those things.”
“A little more than friends?”
She shrugged. “Well, we are fake dating, so maybe… just a bit more than a little…?”
Recognizing the familiar teasing glint in her eyes, I gave her a mock glare. “I’d say a lot more than little, considering how loudly you screamed the last time I made you cum.”
Her cheeks flamed, and she scoffed. Ducking out of my hold, she jumped into the water and splashed me. “The arrogance.”
Chuckling, I wiped the droplets off my face. This was good. Incredible. This was how we once were with each other. My heart lifted with renewed hope.
I lunged forward with a grin, but she was quick, darting away and sending another splash.
“Oh, it’s war now,” I said, laughing.
She shrieked and tried to swim away, but I was faster. With a few powerful strokes, I caught her around the waist and spun her around. Her giggles mingled with my laughter until we reached the pool’s edge, where I caged her between my body and the wall.
Our laughter faded, replaced by something more intense. Hotter. I lifted her to me, and she wound her legs around my waist. Now we were eye to eye. I could see droplets clinging to her eyelashes.
“I haven't played around in a pool like this since…” she stopped.
Since we broke up. Something hit me in the chest, shoving me back into the past. Ava and I were in a pool the first time we expressed words of love in person. Before that, it was over the phone.
I had held her just as I did now.
“I love you, Lincoln.” I could still hear her voice in my head, echoing years later. It had quivered slightly, and her eyes had been wide with uncertainty as if she feared things would be different in person. As if I wouldn’t say the words back. I did, of course.
“Lincoln?”
The same voice, with a lower tone of maturity, drove away the ghosts of the past. I blinked and stared into Ava’s eyes.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
Yes. Something was—something big. She forgave me, but could she ever love me like she once did? We’d just taken another step forward. We were… a little more than friends now. I didn’t want to push it. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, I said, “No.”
Swooping down, I kissed her again. I kissed her with the hunger that had simmered for years and the satisfaction that there was hope for more between us.
I kissed her with everything—deep and unrestrained—until we were both panting and ready to go further.
She reached between us to free me from my shorts while I undid the strings of her bikini bottom.
I took her hard and fast, with a wild desperation that had built up for a while. I swallowed her moans with deep, ravenous kisses. She clung to me as if she needed me. Even if she didn’t, that’s what my mind led me to believe, and I like it.
I held her tightly as she trembled in my arms, not wanting to let her go. How would I when all of this was over and she went home? Would we write it off as an unexpected fling between exes? The thought was too disturbing, so I put it aside to focus on now.