Chapter 28 #2
Her voice cracked. “I ended things because I was afraid—no, because I knew things would escalate to something tragic. Even after I did what I had to do and got away. He kept harassing me. I was too ashamed to tell anyone how much I was suffering. I really thought he’d get tired and just… stop.”
I reached for her hand, when what I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and somehow magically make everything she’d gone through disappear.
She stared at our connected hands. “There you have it. The messy details of my nightmare relationship.”
I didn’t want her to feel bad about having an imperfect relationship, so I felt the need to make my own confession. It was time to completely clear the air between us. If we wanted to make things work now, we had to put everything on the table, even the embarrassing stuff.
“When I heard about your engagement, I…” I cleared my throat.
“I spiraled. I was depressed for months.
I then dragged all my friends to Hawaii on a fool's mission to win back my ex without finding out if that was what she wanted. It was a disaster. She fell for my best friend, and Jamie fell for her. But because I was acting so crazy, they were afraid to tell me.”
Ava listened wide-eyed as I recounted the rest of the story. Her shocked expression sent a spark of amusement through me.
“Wow, that doesn’t sound like you at all, Lincoln,” she said.
Yeah, I was typically a logical guy. “No, but I crashed out because I was still in love with you. It was wrong of me to pursue someone just to prove that I could move past you, past us. So, don’t be embarrassed about getting engaged for the wrong reasons. I never stopped loving you, Ava.”
As her eyebrows snapped together, she pulled her hand out of mine. “But you said you didn’t love me when you ended things.”
“I lied. How could you not see that?”
She shrugged. “Those were your words, Lincoln. Why would I not believe them?” Her expression twisted with confusion. “I know we talked about this, and we agreed to move past it, but if you really loved me, why did you break things off? Why say those awful things?”
I hesitated. But like I said. We had to get everything out.
“Your brother…” I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes as I admitted how stupid I’d been.
“He found out about us. He told me to walk away because you deserved more. He didn’t think you should have to wait around for a guy chasing his dreams so far away from you.
There was no certainty that I’d make it as an athlete.
Anything could happen. One injury could have ended my entire career.
He painted all kinds of scenarios, like me failing to achieve my dream and coming home bitter to make you miserable… ”
I combed my fingers through my hair. “Honestly, Ava, he was so fucking convincing that I became scared for you. He was right. You did deserve the best. You still do. Ethan made it clear that if I loved you, I’d let you go.”
Ava stared at me, stunned. “You let him decide that?”
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I said. “I thought I was protecting you.”
Her voice rose, trembling with fury. “You weren’t protecting me, Lincoln. You were abandoning me. You didn’t even give me a choice. You let me believe I wasn’t enough for you.”
“I know…” I rubbed my nape, desperate now. This conversation wasn’t going as I’d hoped. Ava was getting angrier by the second. “I really thought I was doing the right thing.”
She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again. “I can’t believe Ethan. He never said a thing, even when he saw how miserable I was.”
“Ava, please, I didn’t want to make things weird between you two.”
She glared at me. “You should have fought for me. It was between you and me, not my brother.”
The silence that followed was suffocating.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
With a huff, she scrambled out of bed and took off. After a beat, I went after her. “Ava, come on, let's talk this out.”
She sent me a withering look over her shoulder as she marched to the staircase. I followed her to the guest room, where she still had her things. When she aimed for her suitcase, panic clawed its way up my chest.
“What are you doing?”
“Leaving,” she snapped. “I might as well head back to Springfield a day early and kill my meddling brother.”
“Ava, come on...” As she threw things into her luggage, I scooped them back out. “Be reasonable. You’re overreacting.” She had a hot temper at times, which I typically found stimulating. But this was too much.
I realized I’d put my foot in my mouth when she stopped and turned to me with the scariest calm expression.
“Be reasonable? Overreacting? I found out that my brother went behind my back and inserted himself into my relationship. I cried for months after you broke up with me, and that asshole pretended not to know why I’d sunk into depression. And you—”
I swallowed hard.
“Instead of telling my brother to get lost, you decided that you knew what was best for me as if I weren’t an adult with a mind of my own. You both did!”
“You said you forgave me, Ava. We’re supposed to be over—”
“I did forgive you.” Her mouth tightened into a line of disapproval.
“When I thought you were young and stupid, and made a mistake like you said. That I could understand. You were twenty-one and in college, going after your dream. Maybe you realized that you weren’t really in love and ended things rather than stringing me along.
I forgave that, Lincoln. But you and my brother lied to me for twelve years.
I feel like a fool. I feel betrayed by two people I trusted. If I am overreacting, I’m entitled!”
Ava was typically calm. That high-pitched voice told me that if I uttered another word about the subject, she’d lose it.
I nodded. “Just… don’t leave. I’ll leave you alone.” Although each step I took out of her room was reluctant and painful, I left to give her time.