Chapter 42
Eliza
Iswear I deserve a gold medal or something for how well I’ve kept myself together for the last two months.
The more time I’ve spent with Mac, the more I’ve fallen for him.
It didn’t help that we got to experience major life moments with our closest friends.
We were both at the hospital to visit Caleb, Bailey, and their new baby, Simon.
Simon is the second baby born into the friend group in the last two years, and each time we’ve all been there to share in the joy of a new addition.
Each time I’m more and more grateful for the family I’ve found outside of blood.
The difference this time is Mac was there too, and I hate that it made us feel more complete, like our little made family was missing him.
We celebrated the one-year birthday of Cate, Olivia and Josh’s daughter, and being surrounded by all of their family and friends in addition to our group was happiness overload.
I ended up coming home after and wrapping myself in a blanket and putting on TV only for Mac to show up an hour later with a bag of take out and ice cream, and he just sat with me.
No forced conversation, no excess sound, just the two of us on the couch with food and a show.
It was a feeling of to be loved is to be known, and that night I nearly cried myself to sleep at the thought that I only had a few more months with him.
Making the six-hour trip to Grayson’s hometown so we could surprise Hannah with his idea of another wedding, one surrounded by their friends and family, was just another nail in my coffin.
I got to dance with Mac, being held in his arms as we moved to the music in Grayson’s parents' backyard, surrounded by so much love. We laughed with our friends and made memories I’ll not soon forget.
I’ve become so dependent on his presence to sleep that I find that I’m at his place at least five nights a week now.
He gave me a key, saying he liked having me there and doesn’t want me to have to wait for him to get home from work.
Just the other day it hit me that I’ve now taken over several drawers in his dresser and have an entire section in his closet.
My stuff has its place in his bathroom drawers and in the shower, and I’ve apparently brought over enough of my hobby stuff that it has a home in the corner of his living room.
When we started talking about our upcoming trip to London and I was thinking about what I needed to pack, I realized that, with the exception of my suitcases and passport, I have everything I need at his place.
That night while I was sitting on the couch and thinking about packing it all up to take back to my place, I nearly broke down in tears because I don’t want to.
I don’t want to spend more time at my apartment or be apart from Mac.
I’m wrapping the last gift birthday gift for Jayden when Mac walks in the front door with food and his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder.
“Yes, Father, we’ll be there. I’ve purchased our flights already.” He places the bag on the counter and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I know.”
I smile and shake my head, finishing with the gift and moving it to beside the front door. Mac must have hung up with his father, because the next thing I know is his arms are wrapping around me as he kisses the top of my head and whispers, “Hello, love. How was your day?”
I melt into him. “It was good. I grabbed the last of the gifts for this weekend.”
He takes in the small pile of boxes and bags at the door. “You spoil those kids.”
I shrug. “I don’t have any biological nieces or nephews to spoil, so I’ve got to take my duties as a chosen auntie very seriously.”
He kisses my temple. “Your heart is bigger than you let people see.”
I let you see it. I let you see all of me, I think as he steps away and back into the kitchen.
“I grabbed Chinese on my way home. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect.”
We make our plates and sit at the table. “Your dad worried about our visit?” I ask.
“He’s trying to control everything. I’m not sure what he’s going to do when he’s no longer running this company. I’m sure he’ll be calling me several times a day to ensure I’m not fucking up his precious baby.”
“Well, you’re just going to prove to him that he was wrong not to believe in you from the start and screw that cousin he was considering giving the position.”
He laughs. “Not so subtle there, love.”
I shrug and stab a piece of broccoli.
“So what exactly did we get Jayden?” he asks, pointing his fork over at the gifts.
He told me to grab some things for him, things I thought Jayden would like, and he’d give me the money for them.
He hasn’t spent a lot of time around the kids and had zero clue what to get them.
I list off the toys, books, and clothes I grabbed, and he stares at me.
“You really went above and beyond.”
I duck my head, hiding my smile and blush.
“Do you want kids?” His question catches me off guard, and my head shoots up. There’s a guarded look to his expression that I can’t quiet read.
“With the right person I think I might. I don’t know really.
It’s not one of those things I’ve spent years dreaming about, but I’m not opposed to having kids either.
I know that if I were to have kids one day, I’d want to raise them in a warm household.
I love my parents, but I still feel the impact of the colder, practical way they raised me.
I don’t have this nagging desire to go home or spend days with my parents.
Liv has a great relationship with her parents and siblings, and I see the way that warmth and pure love shaped the way she grew up.
I think it’s something I’d want to talk about with my partner and come to a mutual decision about. Do you want kids?”
“Maybe. With the right person.” He holds eye contact with me, and my heart immediately starts yelling, Am I the right person?
Can I be the right person? My imagination starts to think about what kids who share Mac's and my genes would look like. They’d likely all be taller than me and probably before they’re even in high school.
The thought makes me smile, and Mac brushes his fingers down my cheeks.
“I like when you smile. Your entire face lights up.”
I can’t help it, I lean forward and press my lips to his. He cups my jaw and kisses me back, and when I pull back, he asks, “What was that for?” a grin spread across his face.
“Because I wanted to.”
His grin widens, and he leans forward and kisses me again.