Chapter 16
Fallon
The scowl on Declan’s face when he came back to the house was as close to angry as I’d ever seen him.
It was a good opportunity to not have to talk about that impulsive kiss.
I edged away from him on principle, not because the day had been one of the best of my life before being tossed in the air like a sack of potatoes.
What was I supposed to do with a real kiss?
Luckily, Declan submerged into a flurry of letter writing to his other siblings and the custodians of different towns in Sombermane.
It wasn’t a bad idea to check that the missing wolves hadn’t left Nightfell of their own accord, and maybe someone would have ideas on how to catch the Followers.
The scratching of Declan’s quill lulled me into a fitful repose.
The rest of the night wasn’t any better, as we both tossed and turned in bed.
I only dozed when I plastered myself to his side.
He would shift away and I would wake up again.
For every hour I lost sleep, another dream of pain seeped into my bones.
Even a few hours of rest would have helped, but it wasn't to be. I couldn’t deny it.
I couldn’t drowse because the bond Declan and I shared, friend, mate, or whatever you wanted to call it, itched at my insides with agitation.
Declan growled in his dreams, actually thundered like the gigantic wolf he had turned into.
The bass rumble shook my soul in warning.
Hide.
Make yourself small, because death is coming.
I hadn’t seen what happened on the hill, but enough wolves had passed through the house during supper that I got the gist of Percy taunting them.
They all reported what they learned to Declan was like a round peg desperately trying to fit into a square hole, as pain and fatigue fought in my mind.
Unfortunately, all the searching hadn’t amounted to much.
Not even the keen senses of a shifter had picked up any sign of the monks in the Dell they should have been living in.
The sunrise peeking through the curtains was as unwelcome as it got, but I decided I should try to start the day. Work always made things better, or at least stuffed them down harder. I would just slip around Declan, out of bed.
If only I could’ve moved. I tested my right hand, the better of the two, and it didn’t even twitch.
My breath grew shallow. No. No. This couldn’t be happening.
Yesterday was such a good day. I didn’t get too cold, took my potions.
I did everything I was supposed to. Unwanted tears slipped out.
My body lit on fire, shuddering with a full-blown attack.
My throat closed and my breathing turned into a wheeze.
I barely made a fist to scrub my tears away.
Not today, when I needed to make up for my day off yesterday. When an echo of that kiss I ought to forget still ghosted my lips.
I froze when Declan’s breathing changed. Luckily, we were back to back and I buried myself further under the blankets while I collected myself.
The mattress dipped as he turned to face me. I hunched further, evening out my breath.
His voice, low and scratchy, should have clenched my thighs, but it only made me feel more incapable. “What’s wrong?”
A singular eye canted in his direction between the layers of blankets. “I didn’t sleep very well. Just need a minute to get up.”
The lie tasted terrible. There was no way to get up. But every day I didn’t try was another day my illness won. Another chance for people to pull away. I waited for him to let it go, like he usually did, or to make a joke. His voice dropped an octave instead.
“Don’t lie to me.”
He actually bared his teeth at me and I dug in harder, wiggling deeper into my share of blankets like they would protect me from his scrutiny.
“It’s nothing.”
“Those are nothing tears?”
I didn’t like it, but he let it go when I got angry in the pantry. I knew enough to control my temper a little more
“Lay off. Don’t you have wolf things to do?”
I wanted to throw back the blankets dramatically and stomp into my safe kitchen space but my limbs hardened to stone. The other flares felt like gentle forehead kisses compared to this. No amount of willow bark tea or naps would make this pass.
Declan waited for my exit, too. When I winced, clutching the comforter, he slowly turned me over. My hands wouldn’t even swipe at my face.
“I have Fallon things to do.”
That kiss was a mistake. I showed him too much of the mixed-up feelings inside me for him to stay out of my business. Body and soul dripped with exhaustion and I hated it. It wasn’t in me to give up the fight. I couldn't.
“I have to get up.” The words came out with more conviction than I thought possible.
Did my joints look as swollen as they felt? What answer might I drum up for that?
“I don’t think you do,” he said.
He looked down at my hands, my wrists, and I waited for him to flinch. I went on the defensive. “I have onions to prep.”
“Hang the onions, Fallon.”
Irritation at him, at myself, my weakness, my body surged up.
“Easy for you to say. This isn’t your ticket to getting your life back.
I want to see my Goddschild. I need to know if Evie’s cankles look hideous during pregnancy.
And if Maggie is driving her crazy. I’ve already wasted enough time here trying to get my powers under control. ”
He flinched at that direct hit. I didn’t exactly mean it that way. Maybe. Probably. Fuck. I was fucking this up too. The agony made it impossible to untangle this. I needed to get out of here.
I struggled with the blankets like they were sheets of lead. Declan moved faster than he had a right to, caging me with his body. If he could have sat on me, I think he would have, but some wolfie sense told him not to. Maybe it was my teeth grinding as I attempted to move a bedsheet.
“You’re not going today. Momma will understand. I let it slide in the pantry because you let me take you back to bed. This seems worse.”
It was worse. Much worse. “I have so much to do!”
My embarrassment at snapping at him, at my body’s betrayal, made me more surly than ever.
Declan's smile showed two sharp fangs. “I know.” His laugh was so evil it arrowed right between my legs. “We’ve been on an official date, even though it devolved into chaos. You’re going to be my mate today and you will let me help. What can I do to help?”
“It’s not that bad.” I hated the lie when he was being everything I needed. “This is the first time I’ve ever not been able to get out of bed. I just had one too many trips down the hill.” I was in too much pain for it not to come out breathless.
If only it worked like that. There were certain things like the change in weather or exhaustion that made it worse, but the part that drove me crazy was that random flares would happen for no reason.
Calmly, he leaned down close to my ear and growled, “What can I do to help?”
A ripple of pleasure cut through the pain for just a moment. It wasn’t just his deep voice in my ear, but his warm breath on my neck, the steel cords of those whisk-twirling forearms in the periphery of my vision.
The urge to bite them struck up a chorus in my mind.
I didn’t know why. My pleasure never involved pain.
I had never been possessive in my life. Men weren’t worth it.
But Declan. He was so sweet. Would he taste like it too?
The haze of his nearness whisked my brain and for once, it had nothing to do with the brain fog.
“Sometimes a warm bath helps,” I mumbled.
Luckily, he was right on top of me so he didn’t miss it.
“Then you will have a bath and as much hot water as you want.”
I shook my head, one last protest on my lips. “The wash tub in your washroom is too small. I’m going to cramp up just sitting in it.”
A devilish sparkle lit Declan’s eye. “Don’t move.”
He sprang off me and raced out of the room.
I didn’t move while my mind galloped like a panicked horse.
I barely clutched the covers. How would I explain my laziness to Anise?
He hadn’t asked why I couldn’t get out of bed, but I saw the questions hovering in his eyes.
That he wanted to help regardless started my leaky eyes again.
Have you moved yet?
He walked back into the bedroom carrying a metal tub larger than he was, muscles flexing. Had he always been that strong? Declan maneuvered it with ease.
“You’re going to get in this without complaint because if you didn’t move while I was gone, then you really need it.”
I eyed the vat he had set as close to his fire as possible. “What is that thing?”
“The clothes wash tub. Momma needed one big enough for all of us.”
It would fit three people and blessedly allow me to lie down. I had never been so grateful for laundry in my entire life. Refusing to let Declan help me sit up, I caught my breath at the edge of the bed.
Only to watch Declan walk over to a cupboard and get on his knees. He looked ridiculous in my nightgown but by the time he opened the cupboard to a shrine, lit some candles and murmured in that lilting language, the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up.
The trough slowly filled on its own and steamed into the chilly air.
“I didn’t know you did magic.”
He turned to me, checking the water temperature. “I can’t. I just understand how to ask nicely.”
That was as good as being able to do magic to me.
“Thank you.” It seemed foolish to say it into the room with no one else here but the scent of nutmeg filled the bath and the steam rising from it.
“Do you want me to carry you?”
I absolutely did not.
I absolutely did.
My fingers fumbled with the hem of my nightgown, a whole new worry cropping up after all of Declan’s hard work. He gestured to all of me.
“You have to get undressed.”
“Maybe a bath is a bad idea.” I shot back.