Chapter Four #3
Air thinned. Every patch on the wall looked like an edge that could slice me. My heart hammered. My fingers went numb.
Kane’s hand landed on my knee -- warm, heavy, real.
“Breathe.” His voice cut through the fog.
I tried. But my chest seized.
The chair scraped back. Kane wrapped an arm around my waist and guided me into the hallway before I could collapse. The cooler air hit me like a slap, and he led me toward the bathroom.
He left the door ajar. A sliver of light stayed, no trapped darkness. He braced his hand on the counter near my hip, turning me until I faced his chest instead of the world spinning.
“Look at me.”
I tried. My vision fluttered.
His hand cupped my cheek, thumb brushing my bruise. Anchoring. “Panic attack. You’re not dying. Your lungs are just being assholes.”
A broken laugh got stuck in my throat.
He inhaled loudly. “On four. In -- one, two, three, four.”
My chest fought it, then air scraped in, shaky but there.
“Hold -- one, two.”
Burning.
“Out -- one, two, three, four.”
The breath rushed out.
“Again.”
Breath by breath, he wouldn’t let me drown. My heartbeat slowed. Feeling seeped back into my fingers.
Tears burned hot and unstoppable.
“I’m so tired of being scared,” I confessed.
His gaze went soft. “I know.”
“I keep thinking the worst is past. Then something happens and it feels like this will never end. I can’t be the reason kids here lose parents. I can’t be why you lose everything. I can’t --”
“Stop.” He spoke firmly, not harshly. “You didn’t choose your brother’s path. You didn’t kick doors in. You didn’t threaten anyone. Men who did that own it.”
“I came here.” My throat closed. “I brought it here.”
“You came here to stay alive.” His eyes held mine. “You tried everything else. You handled it alone until it almost killed you. Coming here means you chose life.”
His words hit me. Hard. I sobbed.
He stepped closer, crowding out panic without smothering me. His body formed a cage that felt safe.
“You didn’t drop a fresh bomb. You pointed at one we already knew about. So, you coming here didn’t change much for us.”
My fingers tightened on his shirt, over his heart. I needed that steady beat.
“This helps,” I whispered.
His voice was low. “Good.”
A knock echoed.
“Kane? Everything all right?” General’s voice on the other side.
Kane exhaled against my forehead. “Timing sucks.”
I gave a wet laugh. “Yeah.”
“You decent?” General called again, but I heard the humor in his voice and knew he didn’t mean it literally.
Kane’s hand lingered on my cheek before he pulled it away. “Yeah. Give us a second.”
He dipped his head near my mouth. The air crackled. My body leaned toward him before my brain caught up.
“Kane…”
He hovered, breath warm against my lips. “You sure? Because if I start, I won’t pretend this is just protection.”
“I don’t want it to be.” I surprised myself with the steadiness of my answer.
He cursed softly, then pressed a quick kiss to my forehead -- possessive, tender, enough to melt my knees. He stepped back, giving me space.
“We’re not done,” he whispered. “Not even close.”
I dabbed my cheeks with his hoodie sleeve. “Okay.”
He led me back to the hall. General waited, arms crossed, eyes sharp enough to register my damp lashes.
“You all right?” he asked.
“Getting there.” My voice still trembled, but I held it.
General nodded. “This is heavy. We’ll keep it short.”
Back in the room, Atilla watched me with understanding. Spade glanced at Kane, then me, then away.
Spade tapped the folder. “Bottom line: we need the flash drive.”
“Do I have to go? Or can you send someone?” My heart pounded. “Top drawer of my nightstand. Under receipts.”
Spade nodded. “We’ll get it. Not today -- too hot. We’ll send someone. You won’t go back.”
Relief hit me so hard my knees nearly buckled.
General leaned forward. “No wandering near the fence alone. No staring at the road like bait. You’re mostly safe in here, but let’s not take any unnecessary risks.”
“I won’t.”
Atilla’s voice stayed calm. “We’ll keep you informed. We won’t move you around like a pawn without telling you our game. You deserve respect.”
My throat tightened. “Thank you.”
Atilla waved a hand. “Go breathe. Eat. Laugh when you can. Let Kane hold weight when it gets heavy.”
He glanced at Kane. “Keep her in one piece.”
Kane’s answer was instant. “Yes, sir.”
The rest of the day blurred into something almost normal -- knife in hand, chopping veggies, stirring sauces, doing small tasks so my brain didn’t chew itself raw. Casey’s daughter toddled up, sticky-handed and pigtails bouncing. She grabbed my leg.
“New friend?” she chirped.
My heart squeezed. “Maybe.”
Marci made me sit down twice when I zoned out. I’d given them my sizes, except my clothes didn’t fit very well. Solena measured me in the bathroom -- jokes to distract me from standing in my underwear.
“Relax,” she said, tape around my waist. “We’re not judging. We just need clothes that fit better than Kane’s shirt, or the things you apparently arrived in.”
Heat climbed my neck. “His shirts are fine.”
Casey cackled. “Look at her defending him already!”
“Shut up,” I muttered, but the sharpness felt good. Alive.
Kane drifted in and out -- checking the gate, disappearing into Church, returning with a tighter expression each time. Every glance hovered on the verge of a kiss that neither of us quite dared.
Late afternoon settled in. Kids napped. Brothers tinkered in the shop. Laughter and the smell of dinner floated through the clubhouse.
I stood by a window, watching the road beyond the fence. My old habit -- vigilance -- pulled me there. A dark SUV rolled slowly past the east fence, tinted windows hiding everything.
My gut clenched before my mind caught up. I pressed my hand to the glass.
Footsteps behind me.
Kane stepped up, phone already out. “Tinker,” he barked low. “Pull footage. Plate numbers. We had a drive-by.” He ended the call, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and gently steered me away.
Cold fear flooded me. “What if that was him?”
Kane turned me to face him. His hands rested on my arms. “Then he’s dumber than I thought,” he said, eyes dark. “Intentionally driving past an MC compound? Bait.”
“What if he’s scouting for a way in or weaknesses?” I couldn’t stop the tremor in my voice.
“Let him look,” Kane said firmly. “We watch back.”
His logic didn’t erase my fear, but it gave me something solid to hold.
He brushed my sleeve. “He wants to see you afraid. Giving in to him gives him power over you.”
“What do we do instead?” My voice cracked.
“We live.” He led me back toward the kitchen -- laughter, a baby squealing, dinner cooking.
He stopped me in the doorway, leaning in until his words felt like they belonged on my skin.
“You’re not that woman alone in an apartment anymore,” he said. “You’re under Savage Raptors’ protection. You’ve got a man at your back who won’t let him take another breath if he tries to take you or hurt you in any way.”
I trembled. “You make big promises.” My voice was small.
“I keep them.” No drama. Just truth.
Something inside me shifted, quiet and permanent. Belief settled in like it had always been waiting.
Outside the fences, danger still lurked. How long would Roth watch me? Would he ever give up?
Inside, surrounded by leather and coffee and women who’d built a home from chaos, fear felt lighter. For the first time in months, I dared to imagine something beyond survival -- a future where nightmares didn’t always win.