Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
Eli
I was surprised when Isaac asked me to have dinner with him and Senior.
Since the party last week, I hadn’t been talking to him.
I asked him what his intention was putting the strippers on Falcon, and he said it was to welcome him back into singlehood.
All I could do was laugh. He was determined to make sure there was nothing between me and Falcon, and I shouldn’t have been surprised by that.
As I sat in my car, I wanted to call Falcon and tell him about what I was sure was about to be a shit show.
Senior and I hadn’t talked since my last show.
I’d unblocked him, but he hadn’t tried to reach out.
No surprise there. As much as I wanted to call Falcon for moral support, I didn’t.
It was time for me to be a big girl and stand on my own.
I headed toward the door, heart racing in anticipation. While a part of me hoped we’d get through this meal like a normal family, there was a part of me that knew that wouldn’t be the case. I rang the doorbell then let myself inside. Senior and Isaac were already in the kitchen fixing their plates.
“Wassup, baby sis? Glad you could make it.”
Isaac leaned down, and I gave him my cheek to kiss.
“Thanks for the invite,” I replied, heading to the sink to wash my hands.
“Hey, lil girl,” Senior spoke.
“Hey, Senior.”
“How are you?”
“Fine. You?”
“Good.”
With a bob of my head, that was it. We finished fixing our plates and headed to the living room.
They wanted to eat while watching TV, which gave me a little relief.
Usually when Senior wanted to talk about something, he made us eat in the dining room.
He’d made what I would say was his best meal—barbecued chicken, yams, and mac-n-cheese.
I was surprised to see he’d also made a salad to go along with it.
“Why do they even call these drumsticks? They’re chicken legs,” I asked, lifting the chicken to my lips. I wasn’t really expecting either of them to answer, more so speaking to myself.
Isaac chuckled. “Because they are shaped like drumsticks, baby love.”
“The ice cream? Not music drumsticks right?”
Confusion filled me. My top lip lifted and brows wrinkled as I stared at the chicken. With a shrug, I took another bite, making them laugh again.
“The bottom part, silly. It’s just better to say drumsticks. Well, back in the day it was,” Senior said. “It was more . . . classy and polite to avoid saying legs at the dinner table.”
“Issa leg to me,” I grumbled. “Damn good one too.”
“It’s good to see you’re in good spirits,” Senior said with a smile. “Maybe that’ll make this conversation smoother.”
Oh God.
Of course.
I remained silent, trying to get a few more bites in, in case I needed to leave abruptly.
“Now that this fake relationship is over between you and Falcon, I wanted to make sure you knew things have to go back to normal,” Senior said.
My chewing slowed down. I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but I definitely wasn’t expecting the conversation to be about Falcon.
“The season starts this week, and there can be no static between Falcon and Isaac. That means there can be no static between us. For whatever reason, Falcon sees you as his little diamond to protect, and they can’t have issues because he’s worried about the way we treat you.
If you’re going to be friends with Falcon, then you need to make sure you keep him out of our family business. ”
And just like that, my appetite was gone. Looking at Isaac, I asked him, “Is that why you told me to come over here?”
Isaac waited until he was done chewing to speak.
“Yeah. The fake relationship is done, but I know he still cares about you. Senior and I agreed it’s best if you keep him out of our family shit.
Falcon and I have to be on good terms, Eli.
You know that. We can’t be going back and forth because of you.
So whatever problems you have with us, you need to talk about with a therapist or some shit. Just not him.”
Deciding not to immediately respond, I looked over at Senior.
“Do you love me, Senior?” He chuckled and shook his head, looking toward the ceiling. “Do you like me? Can you look at me and say either of those things? If not, we don’t need to continue this conversation.”
Sighing, he set his fork against his plate.
“What does it matter if I love you or not? I’ve provided for you and took care of you since your mother died.
I tried to help you with your career. I’m your father.
I don’t have to like you. I’ve taken care of my responsibilities.
You’re an adult now. Whatever you get from me at this point is a bonus. ”
“Wow,” I muttered as tears filled my eyes.
I knew my father didn’t like me.
I knew he didn’t care about me.
I knew he didn’t love me.
I knew he only tolerated me.
I tried to convince myself the vibe was off and I was overreacting, but I could no longer do that.
In all that he’d said, what he didn’t say was loud.
Senior didn’t love me.
Senior didn’t like me.
My father only saw me as a responsibility to raise until I turned eighteen, and now, he was done.
Isaac sucked his teeth as I stood. “Come on, man. Why couldn’t you just tell my sister you love her?”
“You want me to lie?”
Clutching my chest, I walked to the kitchen on weak knees.
I didn’t think I’d make it to the trash can, so I set my plate on the counter and briskly made my way outside.
The blast of windy fresh air made me feel like I could breathe, because in that house, I felt like I was suffocating.
I opened my car door, but a large hand on my arm turned me and kept me from getting inside.
“My fault, L. I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
That was fucked up as hell.” When he tried to wipe my tears, I swatted his hand away.
“I love you. I love you so much. Regardless of how he feels. And I got you. Just make sure you don’t let Falcon come between us. Especially since I’m all you got now.”
That snapped something inside of me.
“You’re all I got now?” I repeated. “You think I trust you? You just heard that man talk to me like that, and all you have to say is that was fucked up, and you think I trust you?”
“Eli . . .”
“You expect me not to confide in the one man that chooses me, and you think I trust you? Falcon is all I fucking got, and I gave him up for you, and you don’t even give a fuck about that shit!
All you care about is what’s best for you!
You don’t want him to tell you how fucked up you and your daddy treat me, and you’d rather I suffer in silence than have someone in my corner!
You’re just as fucked up as Senior, just in a different way.
Both of y’all can get the hell out of my life for all I care. ”
“Eli, wait. Please don’t leave it like this. What do you want me to do? I can’t make him treat you any differently.”
“Yeah, but you definitely accept it and make him think this shit is okay,” I said, getting into my car. “And you know what? As long as you allow this shit and try to keep me away from Falcon, I want nothing to do with you.”
“Baby sis.”
Isaac reached for me, but I pushed his arm away and slammed my door shut. Remembering he’d gotten me the car had me opening it and stepping out. I didn’t even want the shit anymore.
“Here.” I shoved the key in his chest before walking down the driveway.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting an Uber. Take the car back. I don’t want shit from you.”
“Now you’re just being dramatic. Take this car and go home.”
“I don’t have a home!” I yelled. “I left my home because my best friend slept with my boyfriend. And then I left your home because you tried to take my friend away from me and let your daddy talk crazy to me. My future home, the one gifted to me by the only man that’s ever loved me unconditionally, is yet to be built.
My home, the place that felt the most like home, I can’t go to because you want me to stay the fuck away from him! ”
A look of hurt flashed over his face before he took a step back. His hands went into the pockets of his sweats, and his head hung.
“You got that, L. I’ll let you be. I ain’t tryna fuck ya life up. I do love you, even if I don’t show it the way you want me to. I know you shouldn’t have to tell me how to love you, but when you’re ready, I wanna learn. I’ll give you space until then.”
My chest was heaving, my breaths were short, and I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. Turning, I walked toward the mailbox and sat on the grass. Rocking, I pulled my phone out of my purse and prepared to order an Uber. Instead, I called Falcon.
“Smiley?”
My mouth opened, but no words would come out. Instead, I just cried harder. My father really didn’t love me. That shit broke my fucking heart. He was the first man that was supposed to show me true, healthy love.
“Bae . . .” He cursed under his breath and grumbled about killing whoever had made me cry. “Where you at?”
“S-Senior’s h-house,” I managed to choke out through my cries.
“I’m on my way.”