Chapter 32 #2
“I was . . . but then I thought about what you said and realized you were right. If you decide to do this, you have to separate emotions, which means I need to learn to do the same.”
Standing on my toes, I tilt my head up and pull him down for a kiss.
“I love you,” I say, my lips brushing against his.
“Te amo.”
Aiden slides in beside us, giving Sean a handshake, and a slap on his shoulder. “Sorry about what I said, man.”
Sean shrugs. “I might’ve done the same.”
“No, you wouldn’t have,” Aiden laughs.
“Alright well . . . I’m gonna leave you two to make up,” I tell the boys. “Let Carter know he can take it from here; I need to get Jade and Granny home.”
I give Sean one last kiss before heading up to the accessible seating area. Jade is asleep on Granny’s lap when I approach them, and Granny looks like she is ready to hit the bed as well.
“Granny’s been dozing off. I think the excitement took the energy right out of her and Jade. You did great tonight.” Aspen hugs me. “Thank you so much for taking over.”
“Well, you have Dad to thank. He’s a big fat fucking faker!”
“No, he didn’t!” She leans back, releasing me, her eyes bugging out of their sockets.
“Yes. He did,” I say, gripping the handles of Granny’s wheelchair and steering her and a sleeping Jade down the aisle.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
I glance at Aspen as she walks in step beside me. She looks sincere.
“It’s done and over with.” I shrug. “If I’m being one-hundred percent honest, I enjoyed coaching.”
We come up to the elevators, and she presses the down button. “Does that mean I get to hire the first female head coach to ever grace the NHL?”
“It means I’ll give it more serious thought and have an answer for you when I’m ready.”
That’s the best I can give her right now. As the elevator chimes and the doors open, I wheel Granny and Jade in.
“Take your time. We still have the rest of the season,” she says, locking eyes with me. “I love you, sis.”
It’s the first time she’s ever called me that, and something about it warms my heart.
“Love you, too,” I call back right as the doors close.
Before we step out into the cold air, I take off my jacket, draping it over Jade and Granny, then wheel them through the lot.
“You’ve been really quiet. You tired?” I ask, parking her beside my car.
When she doesn’t answer, I stop and peer over at her. “Granny?”
“Hmm? Oh. Yeah,” she says a little sluggish. “It’s just past my bedtime.”
Picking Jade up, I place her in the backseat, buckle her in, then help Granny into the car before folding up her wheelchair and placing it in my trunk.
The smooth palm of Granny’s hand settles over mine as I set out to close the distance between the arena and Aiden’s house.
“Remember what I said about coincidences?” Granny asks.
“There are none. Yeah, I remember.”
“That’s right,” she says softly. “Everythin’ happens for a reason. We came here for a reason, and I think part of that reason was you. Yer a good girl, Hannah. Good for my Jade.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I’ve had an emotional evening, and I don’t know how much more I can take.
“You should’ve seen her watchin’ ya coach. Said she wants to be just like ya. Made me glad to know she has ya to look up to.”
“Granny. You’re gonna make me cry,” I say, feeling the sting creep up my nose. I glance over at her. “Are you sick? You’re never this nice.”
“Just wanted ya to know is all. Yer a strong woman. Take the job if ya want it, Hun. The way yer face lights up, I know ya love it.”
“We’ll see,” I tell her.
“Don’t be hardheaded just to prove a point.”
I shake my head in disgust. “He set me up, Granny.”
“Yer dad was just tryin’ to teach you a lesson . . . hope it worked.”
I turn my head and gape at her.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m just sayin’; he knew ya wanted to coach and that ya wouldn’t try if he didn’t force ya. Sometimes . . . we need a little push in the right direction . . .” she says, her words slurring together in exhaustion.
As we merge onto the highway, I replay the game in my head.
Everything came to me so naturally. I knew what I was doing out there.
Hell, half the time I didn’t think, I reacted.
Reading the ice . . . adjusting lines . .
. changing up plays on the fly . . . Every single time we adapted, and it worked out, gave me a better high than any adrenaline rush I’ve ever chased.
And when the boys executed that setup I called and Petrov buried the puck into the back of the net .
. . God, nothing’s ever felt like that before.
“Those gears a turnin’?” she asks as if she doesn’t already know the answer.
“Yes, smarty pants, my gears are turning . . . the hangup is all eyes being on me when I screw up. It’ll happen.
It’s inevitable. I’ve seen dad call some terrible plays.
Just like he did during preseason. The difference is when he screws up, he’s just a coach having a bad night.
When I screw up, it’ll be because I’m a woman and don’t belong in men’s hockey. ”
“Fuck ‘em . . .” she rasps. “No matter whatcha do, there’s always gonna be somebody out there . . . waitin’ for ya to fail. Can’t live yer life like that . . . Do whatever ya wanna do and fuck what everybody else says or thinks. If ya try and fail . . . try again.”
I laugh. Never in my life have I met a woman like her.
Something about what she says clicks. I can’t control everyone else.
Like Dad said, there’s always gonna be someone that has something to say .
. . somebody who thinks they can do it better.
Why am I making what they think and say, before they even say it, more important than how I feel?
That’s bullshit. I’m not gonna let anyone else control me or my happiness. And coaching really does make me happy.
“You know what? You’re right. Fuck 'em. I’m gonna do the damn thang.”
“That’s my girl. I love ya . . .”
“I love you, too. And thank you.” Giving her hand a light squeeze, I peer over at her as her head droops down. “Granny, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired,” she says, closing her eyes. “Think I’m gonna rest for a while.”
“I’m tired, too. Today has been physically and mentally draining.”
“You’ll get in the swing of things . . . and it’ll get better . . .” She trails off, loosening her grip on my hand.
“I'm gonna tell Aspen first thing in the morning . . . You know, Granny? I really missed hanging out with you these past couple of days. Hey, maybe tomorrow when I get off work, I can come over and we can celebrate with a little poker. You can show me how you pocketed those cards without me realizing it. And before you try to lie, you should know that I know you cheat. So, there’s no point in trying to deny it.”
When she doesn’t answer, I look over at her, but she’s already asleep.
Music plays low throughout my car, and I hum along to the lyrics, turning up the heat to warm up Granny’s cold hands.
The way Jade’s neck is bent catches my attention through the rearview as I take the exit off the highway.
That girl is gonna wake up with a crick in her neck.
“Granny. Time to wake up,” I whisper, turning onto Aiden’s road, but she doesn’t stir. “Hey. Open those eyes. We’re almost home. I can carry Jade, but I sure the hell can’t carry you.”
Pulling into his drive, I look over. “Granny?”
She doesn’t respond.
“Granny?” My voice cracks as panic claws up my throat and my vision blurs.
Through unshed tears, my eyes dart to her chest, waiting for it to rise.
A gasp escapes my lips.
“Oh, God. No.”