Chapter 32 #3
I just have to shelter in place.
I close my eyes, crawling back into my cave. My body reacts to the physical trauma, bending and breaking with each hit, but I don’t want to see it anymore. A movie I want to turn off. Walk away from. Hide.
There’s pain in freezing, but there’s survival too.
It’s been so long since I’ve had to withdraw so far into myself. It’s not as bad as it could be. There’s even a subtle warmth that makes it not so unbearable. A piece of me that flickers in the darkness. Reminiscent of the light and comfort I used to be able to find here. That kept me strong.
It dimmed over the years as more and more of my mother’s memories were tarnished and faded. It’s still so dark. But it’s not as cold. Not as empty and lifeless as it once felt.
A familiar scent tickles my nose. Something masculine and nice, but something I’ve never been able to put a name to. It shouldn’t be here. Any comforting fragrances have been long forgotten. Except…
“A hint of vanilla and pink musk.”
The words shake loose the memory. The absurdity of the conversation and my pink perfume bottle that sits on my vanity in my room. It feels so distant and yet right at the edge of my fingertips. Like I should be able to reach out, pick up the bottle, and bring it to my nose to smell.
Like I could fall right back into the woods with nothing but an abandoned Ferris wheel and three strangers in masks. Three hot tattooed masked stalkers.
“Don’t give up on us now, Little Rabbit.”
The words echo through me, sending a pulse of warmth through my veins. A heat stronger than any comfort I’ve ever found in this dark and barren place. Even when I had my mother’s memories to hold onto, it was never a jolt of electricity that ran through me like this.
Waking me up. Forcing my body to feel.
“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
A pain-filled cry is torn from my lips as I feel a fist connect with my ribs. Each breath hurts more than the last and a part of me wants to turn it off. To go back. To hide.
“He can’t touch what’s mine.”
I’m not alone anymore.
West, Ezra, Jude, and Summer. They became my family when I had none left. They planted seeds in the darkest parts of me and bloomed flowers despite the harsh conditions. How can I give up now?
Ruin everything they’ve helped me build?
“No.”
The word is barely a gasp through stuttered breaths and my father doesn’t even pause as he continues his rant about his ungrateful daughter. How I’m nothing but a whore now. His grip on my hair tightens when I lock my body in place, refusing to make it easy on him any longer.
I’m not a doll. Not his plaything.
“No,” I scream the word this time, reaching out for anything I can get my hands on. My fingers glide across the vase I bought when I first moved in here, but before I can get purchase, my father is yanking me in the opposite direction.
He throws me over the couch and my entire body protests as I bounce off and hit the floor.
Nearly knocking over the coffee table with the force.
My Halloween decorations fall to the floor beside me.
Everything hurts. Going from feeling nothing to everything all at once is more painful than I ever could have imagined.
Almost unbearable.
“I’m going to have to train you all over again, you stupid bitch. Remind you who you belong to.” His words once would have felt like daggers across my skin. Bleeding me of any fight and forcing me to hold still and do what he wanted. No longer.
“College has ruined you,” he taunts, looming over me like a wild animal preparing to pounce. “It’s time to come home.”
“No,” I fight back, kicking my foot out and hitting his knee but not with enough strength to take him down.
His laugh is merciless and cruel and I know if he lives, I won’t.
All I’ve managed is to make him angrier, that vein near his temple throbbing to a beat so intense it looks as if it may rupture.
My father catches my ankle in his grip when I kick out again. My attempt to put as much distance between us as possible gives him the leverage to yank me out from the thin space between the table and couch.
Fear makes me want to choke. So badly I want to give up. But surely, the guys will be here soon. They’re always watching. I’m never alone.
My shadows always know when to come exactly when I need them. I only have to hold on a little longer for them.
Only a little longer.
My fingers brush against something solid and I grab it without thinking as my body is dragged across the floor. He drops my leg, leaning down to grab me by the throat once more, but before he can wrap his hand around me, I swing my arm up.
The object I managed to grab isn’t as heavy as I would have hoped, but it’s too late now to stop the swing of motion as I slam it into the side of his head. My father’s eyes widen as glass shatters, pieces raining down over the both of us.
Stunned.
Both of us don’t react for a half a moment. The same moment I realize it was the glass skull Summer gifted me two years ago, I also realize I still have a sharp piece in my hand. Now pointed and jagged as it digs into the flesh of my hand.
My father’s hazel eyes, so similar to mine, narrow as he grabs my shirt, shaking me like a ragdoll. I close my eyes, swinging my hand back this time. My palm burns as the glass edges dig in deeper, but I put all my force into it. Everything I can gather. One last fight.
Copper fills my nose.
Whether it’s mine or my father’s, I’m scared to look. A gasped gurgling sound gives me hope, but the weight above suddenly becomes so heavy I can’t breathe.
Then all at once.
It’s gone.