Chapter 5
Chapter Five
SAM
“Y ou’re lost.”
Sam gripped the steering wheel and gritted his teeth twice as hard.
How did I have a hard-on for this woman fourteen hours ago? “I’m not lost.”
Gone were the visions of Iris from last night looking scorchingly sexy. Now, he wanted to throttle her.
He’d stopped himself—twice—from thinking about her as he’d handled his cock last night. She was curvy and luscious, and she was more confident and more gorgeous than ever before.His dream made him think of everything he pushed to the back of his head when it came to Iris Bertone.
“You’re definitely lost.” Her smug slurp made him grind his teeth harder.
He’d taken the back roads to their next inn, and they’d lost cell phone coverage.
He wanted the real Vermont experience away from the highway.They’d passed small general stores winding through different towns, and he’d already hopped out twice to get photos.
“We wouldn’t have found that apple cider stand had we been on the highway,” he said, pointing to her drink as he stopped at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere.
Were they facing east? Left was probably the way to go.
Iris’s emo indie music crooned through the SUV with renewed vigor, mocking him.
“We’re going to need coffee if this stuff keeps playing,” he said with a sigh.
“It creates a mood ,” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The emotional, angsty sounds of an acoustic guitar echoed around them. “You can’t drive through misty Vermont fields in the fall and listen to EDM.”
“Great, then just inject caffeine straight into my eyeballs instead.” The gray skies darkened as the afternoon fell around them. Green and saffron-yellow trees were bursting through the countryside in the gray autumn day as he drove down the curvy road.
As he turned the curve down a rolling hill, a three-story block of glass and wood emerged in the mist-covered field in a thicket of trees.
“Aha!” He was triumphant. They’d somehow found the next inn. “We’re here. Totally knew it all along.”
Though, inn was maybe the wrong word for what was in front of them. It looked like a glass paperweight had plonked down into a fall wonderland entirely in contrast with the organic leafy trees surrounding it.
“And it’s cozy, too,” Iris said with a sarcastically raised eyebrow.
“Should make for some good photos, though the research staff is playing fast and loose with what constitutes an ‘inn.’” He pulled over to get a long-distance shot of the exterior.
Ten minutes later, they stood in front of the building with their bags, trying to figure out how to get in. Every single panel of the building was a giant window with no entrance.
“Maybe we should call?” he said, scratching his head as he hoped an underground entrance would appear by sheer force of will.
Suddenly, the bottom glass panel of the structure moved upward. It lifted vertically to reveal a stylish young woman in an oversized wool poncho and one of those hats white women loved to wear in the fall.
“You are back in nature, as you belong,” the stylish woman said in a low, meaningful voice with her arms still wide open. Her poncho swayed in the breeze as she waited for them expectantly.
Iris silently turned to him, fighting back a smile. She’d never had a poker face; that was why it was so fun to tease her all the time.
“Hello,” Sam said, waving a friendly hand.
“Welcome to the Oasis at Canterbury.” She emphasized the Oh with a guttural oomph and stared at them expectantly.
Oh lord. Could he make it through two nights here?
“Should we come in?” Sam asked.
“Whatever your destiny may be,” the blonde host replied with a solemn voice and a veneered smile.
“This is gonna be fun,” Iris whispered with glee as she picked up her bag.
They walked across a large patio and into a sparse, chic open-air lobby. It reminded him of expensive desert houses in Palm Springs. Harsh concrete and steel contrasted with a lone wood sculpture and animal hides on the floor. It was an interesting change from the homey coziness of a normal Vermont B&B.
“Come gather and we can settle into the energy of the space,” she said, sweeping her ponchoed arm into the middle of the sunken seating area. They set their bags down and gingerly climbed down into the living room where oversized white fluffy armchairs lined the space.
“You must be Jessica. I’ve read so many great things about Oasis,” Iris said.
“I prefer Jess,” Jess said with a placating tone.
“Is this where we check in?” Sam said, still trying to piece together what was happening.
“Technically yes.” Jess wrapped her poncho further around her as she braided her limbs into a knot and sat on the oversized chair.“We don’t like the words checked in ,” she whispered the last two words. “They feel so corporate, and not what we’re about. The inn experience here is about welcoming you back to nature.”
“Wow. Do all your guests get a personalized welcome service?” Sam asked.
“Oh my gosh, you’re so funny,” Jess said, putting her hair behind her ears.
Yikes. Openlyflirting with him even though he was here with someone else?
No thanks. Instant ick.
He’d had a hard and fast rule about cheaters, given how public his parents’ divorce had been, how obvious his father’s cheating had been. He’d won a fucking Pulitzer Prize for it. The memoir of him being torn between two women. Sam would never, ever be like him.
“I only book a maximum of two guests per day so I can give them my undivided attention. And so, you know, I can, like, chill,” she said, sending him a flirty little shrug.
Sam ventured a glance at Iris, and she was unamused. Maybe even sliding toward disgruntled. When her single eyebrow arched toward her hairline that meant she was in revenge-plotting mode.
He’d seen it plenty of times.
“Well, my girlfriend and I are excited to settle in.” Sam reached out a hand toward Iris, and she sighed but took his hand. His thumb brushed over her fingers with affection.
“Oh, your girl friend,” she said slowly, staring at Iris. “Oh my gosh, that’s sooo cuuute.” Her so and cute were pinched and unconvincing.“Well, you guys definitely need a romance package. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t getting that vibe from you at all. Let’s see what we can do to reignite that spark, okay?” She tapped Iris’s leg as if they were girlfriends set on a mission to make Sam get his act together.
“Okay, well.” Jess clapped her hands together, suddenly down to business. “You’re in our nature experience.”
“Uh, experience?” Sam asked.
Why didn’t this woman use normal words for things?
“Some might call it a, quote, ‘room,’ but you’ll see it’s an experience. Can I get you any chicory root or bark-infused teas before I unveil the experience?”
He heard a snort on his right.
“They’re great appetite suppressants,” Jess said with a happy shrug at Iris.
“What the fuck?” Sam blurted out as Iris looked murderous.
Jess patted his arm. “Oh, us girls always want little tips and tricks to snatch those waists, right?” Jess elbowed Iris.
“My girlfriend is perfect as she is,” Sam said protectively.
Jesus . Some people . Iris was , in fact, perfectly shaped and sized. She had full, powerful thighs. A stomach that he’d describe like a luscious Renaissance painting. Full and sexy. Great tits and an ass that wouldn’t quit.
Not that he had any particular feelings for her though. These were just facts. She was hot and he was man enough to separate the annoying I’m-always-right personality from her looks.
“Why don’t you follow me?” Jess hopped out of the sunken living room as he and Iris climbed out less gracefully.
“Thanks,” Iris said with a curious look up at him.
He held out a hand to help her out of the awkward sunken living room. “Just doing my job.”
Jess guided them to a tall staircase. “Each experience has its own entrance. Yours has a staircase or a rope ladder if that would be more fun,” she said with an impish smile as if she and Sam shared a joke.
Not happening, blondie.
The steep, thin spiral staircase wrapped around a single black pole leading up two stories above.Jess flitted up the stairs, her poncho-covered arms wide as if gliding.
Iris threw her head back in exhaustion. “Why are there always stairrrrs .”
“Go ahead. I’ll take your bag,” Sam said, grabbing the bag from her.
“It’s fine, I can do it,” Iris said, wrestling it back from him with a resigned grimace.
“You said you wanted help last time.” He grabbed for it. This woman. It was like she was put on this earth for the sole reason of arguing with him.
She dodged him. “No, because then you’ll remind me how I needed your help for five more inns ,” she whispered.
“ Fine .” He threw a hand up. “Then at least go first so when you fall, we can both die.”
And so I get a nice view of your ass in front of my face.
As he walked into the glass covered room—er, experience—his mouth gaped open.
Okay, I kinda get why she calls it an experience now.
The room had floor-to-ceiling glass windows overlooking the rolling multicolored hills below. Green and orange leaves intertwined for acres and acres as a moody mist crawled through them.
He peeked his head around the corner, and Iris stared open-mouthed at the bathroom that had completely transparent glass walls.“This is my actual worst nightmare,” Iris muttered in horror.
A toilet and shower sat overlooking the gorgeous view. Anyone in the room could see straight into the bathroom.
Iris peeked her head in the door of the bathroom. “And there’s no curtain?
“It’s so our guests can submit their vulnerability to nature,” Jess said with a mansplainy tone, as if this was a normal feature of a guest room. “Make sure to try our handmade soaps. I make them myself. And your cleansing crystals are in your experience sommelier basket.” She picked a red one and held it out to Iris. “These will cleanse those root chakras so you can connect on a physical level.” Iris looked about two steps away from chucking the crystals at Jess’s poncho.
After Jess left, Sam grabbed shots of the room and bathroom. He pointedly ignored the cozy, chenille-covered bed. He’d been thinking of his dream about her too often today as he looked at Iris. She’d worn a figure-hugging dress with a loose jacket thrown over it, and any time his gaze lingered on her, he’d flash back to the dream.
What she’d look like if she lost control for once, wasn’t three steps ahead of everybody else, didn’t have an ordered 15-minute-chunk agenda to go by. Didn’t feel so on and responsible for every fucking thing and every fucking one.
Sam walked back to their bags at the entrance with his tripod. “All done,” he called.
Iris stretched her neck. “After three hours of bumpy back roads, I need to stretch my legs. There’s an art installation on the property. Though given what else she created here, I’m expect it will be concrete blocks tossed into a hollow tree.”
“I could go on a hike.” Sam grabbed his camera bag and slung it over his shoulder, honestly excited for her commentary on what was sure to be a ridiculous installation.
* * *
After Iris took five minutes to climb down the staircase, butt-scooting the entire time, they were finally out on crunchy fall leaves. The crisp air was thick with the scent of firewood and Sam breathed it in by the lungful.
He’d get one more hour of light before it turned too dark for photographs. Iris pulled out the paper map she’d brought from the room and turned it around and around in a circle, trying to find her bearings.
“I think we go through those trees.” She pointed to an archway of leafy yellow and orange trees. They’d gone farther north, and fall was kicking off in earnest here.
He snapped pictures of her walking along the path, flailing her arms while stepping on stones to try to avoid the muddy patches.
“Oh, shit. I’m in your shot, aren’t I?” she said, turning around suddenly, laughing. He captured that burst of her smile.
He waved her to the left and she managed to avoid the big puddles as she danced around piles of yellow and brown leaves on the ground.
“I think if we cross the wooden bridge, we can see her experiences ,” she said, lowering her voice with a husky tone like Jess had.
They crunched their way into the path through the thicket of fall foliage and he couldn’t resist baiting her.“I dunno…you sound a little jealous.”
“She hand-makes her soaps. She lives in a gorgeous glass house. Of course I’m jealous. Did you see how hot she was? And she flirted with you.”
Jess had toned thighs, a blinding white smile, and long blonde hair she’d probably paid good money for.
Sure, Jess was conventionally hot.
But Iris?
She was exquisite. A stunning knockout who was a spunky nerd, hell bent on besting him at every turn. With surprise, he realized he’d much rather share a bed with that than conventionally hot.
He couldn’t resist teasing her. “Yep, you definitely sound jealous, Bertone?—”
“I mean, she openly flirted with my ‘boyfriend.’ Plus, I can’t imagine how that room is ADA compliant.”
“Did you check for smoke detectors, too?” he joked as he lined up another shot of the tree archways.
“Yes, I did. Thank you so much,” she said with smug satisfaction, hopping over a puddle.“I’m adding it to my list.” She pulled out her planner and jotted down more thoughts.
She cared a lot about this assignment. She took it more seriously than he’d ever taken anything.
“What were you doing before you got this gig?” he said, trying to sound nonchalant as they walked over an old wooden bridge with a creek running underneath it.
He’d known she’d stayed in the journalism field, but he never checked professional social media, and Jo was cagey about giving him details.
“Aha! I found it,” she said, pointing ahead on the path. A large black cube with rounded corners sat in contrast with a half circle of trees.She whirled on him with triumph in her eyes. “I told you. I’m sure she was going for The Contrast of the Human Experience: A Man-Made Something-Something Against Nature’s Bounty . Also, this isn’t a hike apparently, it’s a ‘pilgrimage,’” she added seriously, pointing to the map.
He couldn’t resist baiting her again.“After she flirted with me, I don’t know if you can be an impartial journalist. C’mon, let me see your notes.” He held out his hand.
She shielded her notebook away from him. “Absolutely not. I don’t need you to weasel your way into the byline with me by becoming my co-author.”
“Look, there’s the next cube,” he said, distracting her. As she turned, he snatched her notebook.
She was a solid five inches shorter than him, and she pummeled him with her fists as he kept the notebook out of reach.
He jogged ahead backwards, trying to read her chicken-scratch handwriting. A pang of recognition hit him, as he remembered it on chalkboards, papers, and whiteboards in his past. Even on a sign in an insulting “Larsson is a Lughead” smear campaign for junior class president.
“Use Walden quote to open article,” he read aloud. “A little on the nose, don’t you think?” he said as he flipped through the rest of her notes which were facts about the inn.“How do you feel about where we’ve been?” He riffled through it, looking for any sort of adjective.
“I feel like…they’re inns?” She shrugged.
He continued flipping through the pages as she grabbed at the notebook. “You’re one of the most passionate people I know. Let it shine through in your writing.” He handed it back to her with a smile. “As long as it’s not motivated by your obvious jealousy.”
Snatching it back, she silently marched down the path toward the next black cube. Uh-oh. Must have struck a nerve.
The only thing worse than a mouthy Iris was a silent one.
Sam got shots of the black cube, but as they rounded the trail back to the inn, something still pulled at him. “You never answered my question. What’s kept you busy the last few years?”
“Just little nothing jobs.” She shrugged.
“Oh, come on. Tell me. Every story is worth telling,” he said, trying to catch her eye. That had been the motto of their Feature Story professor in college.
She nodded with a faint smile.“I did a couple years at an online site, trying to build up my portfolio of modern pieces. I was in Buffalo for so long—” She started to say something but stopped herself. “But I’m not trapped anymore. That’s in the past.”
“Trapped?” He stopped with a crunch in the gravel on his hiking boots.His stomach bottomed out and in that moment he realized he’d break Bart’s legs if he’d hurt her.
“Metaphorically. Bart and I had been together since forever, and I thought when we got engaged…I don’t know. Our life would finally start. But we just stayed in Buffalo even though I’m cold?—”
“All the time,” they said at the same time.
“Right?” She laughed, pointing to him. “I’d put in two years at the Finger Lake Scallywag .”
He barked out a laugh. “That is not a real thing.”
“It is, look it up,” she said with smiling insistence. “I dreamed about having all these adventures, solving the world’s problems and writing all the best words, but in the end, I was writing about boat maintenance in Upstate New York winters.”
“That sounds…” He paused, thinking about how to soften the blow, but thought fuck it. He knew her.“God, that sounds awful.”
“It was,” she said with her face in her hands, laughing. “It was awful . Thank you. I feel seen.”
The gigantic garage door opened as Jess welcomed them back in a different poncho.
“Good evening, you two. How was your pilgrimage? Did you connect on a spiritual level?”
Sam met Iris’s laughing eyes and, without missing a beat and without lying, he happily responded, “Yes.”